the daisy chain, or aspirations-第61章

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…'twas　his　doingthen　when　I　came　to　cross…examine　him　I　found　that
though　Anderson　did　take　up　the　ink；　it　was　Tom　himself　who　knocked
it　downI　never　heard　anything　like　itI　never　could　have　believed
it！〃

〃It　must　all　be　Ned　Anderson's　doing！〃　cried　Flora。　　〃They　are　enough
to　spoil　anybody。〃

〃I　am　afraid　they　have　done　him　a　great　deal　of　harm；〃　said　Norman。

〃And　what　have　you　been　about　all　the　time？〃　exclaimed　the　doctor；
too　keenly　grieved　to　be　just。　　〃I　should　have　thought　that　with　you
at　the　head　of　the　school；　the　child　might　have　been　kept　out　of
mischief；　but　there　have　you　been　going　your　own　way；　and　leaving　him
to　be　ruined　by　the　very　worst　set　of　boys！〃

Norman's　colour　rose　with　the　extreme　pain　this　unjust　accusation
caused　him；　and　his　voice；　though　low；　was　not　without　irritation；　〃I
have　tried。　　I　have　not　done　as　much　as　I　ought；　perhaps；　but〃

〃No；　I　think　not；　indeed！〃　interrupted　his　father。　　〃Sending　a　boy
there；　brought　up　as　he　had　been；　without　the　least　tendency　to
deceit〃

Here　no　one　could　see　Norman's　burning　cheeks；　and　brow　bent
downwards　in　the　effort　to　keep　back　an　indignant　reply；　without
bursting　out　in　exculpation；　and　Richard　looked　up；　while　the　three
sisters　all　at　once　began；　〃Oh；　no；　no；　papa〃and　left　Margaret　to
finish〃Poor　little　Tom　had　not　always　been　quite　sincere。〃

〃Indeed！　and　why　was　I　left　to　send　him　to　school　without　knowing　it？
The　place　of　all　others　to　foster　deceit。〃

〃It　was　my　fault；　papa；〃　said　Margaret。

〃And　mine；〃　put　in　Richard；　and　she　continued；　〃Ethel　told　us　we　were
very　wrong；　and　I　wish　we　had　followed　her　advice。　　It　was　by　far　the
best；　but　we　were　afraid　of　vexing　you。〃

〃Every　one　seems　to　have　been　combined　to　hide　what　they　ought　not！〃
said　Dr。　May；　though　speaking　to　her　much　more　softly　than　to　Norman；
to　whom　he　turned　angrily　again。　　〃Pray；　how　came　you　not　to　identify
this　paper？〃

〃I　did　not　know　it；〃　said　Norman；　speaking　with　difficulty。　　〃He
ought　never　to　have　been　sent　to　school；〃　said　the　doctor〃that
tendency　was　the　very　worst　beginning。〃

〃It　was　a　great　pity；　I　was　very　wrong；〃　said　Margaret；　in　great
concern。

〃I　did　not　mean　to　blame　you；　my　dear；〃　said　her　father
affectionately。　　〃I　know　you　only　meant　to　act　for　the　best；　but
〃and　he　put　his　hand　over　his　face；　and　then　came　the　sighing　groan；
which　pained　Margaret　ten　thousand　times　more　than　reproaches；　and
which；　in　an　instant；　dispersed　all　the　indignation　burning　within
Norman；　though　the　pain　remained　at　his　father's　thinking　him　guilty
of　neglect；　but　he　did　not　like；　at　that　moment；　to　speak　in　self…
justification。

After　a　short　space；　Dr。　May　desired　to　hear　what　were　the　deceptions
to　which　Margaret　had　alluded；　and　made　Norman　tell　what　he　knew　of
the　affair　of　the　blotted　book。　　Ethel　spoke　hopefully　when　she　had
heard　it。　　〃Well；　do　you　know；　I　think　be　will　do　better　now。　　You
see；　Edward　made　him　conceal　it；　and　he　has　been　going　on　with　it　on
his　mind；　and　in　that　boy's　power　ever　since；　but　now　it　is　cleared
up　and　confessed；　he　will　begin　afresh　and　do　better。　　Don't　you
think　so；　Norman？　don't　you；　papa？〃

〃I　should　have　more　hope　if　I　had　seen　anything　like　confession　or
repentance；〃　said　Dr。　May；　〃but　that　provoked　me　more　than　allI
could　only　perceive　that　he　was　sorry　to　be　found　out；　and　afraid　of
punishment。〃

〃Perhaps；　when　he　has　recovered　the　first　fright；　he　will　come　to　his
better　self；〃　said　Margaret；　for　she　guessed；　what　indeed　was　the
case；　that　the　doctor's　anger　on　this　first　shock　of　the　discovery　of
the　fault　he　most　abhorred　had　been　so　great；　that　a　fearful　cowering
spirit　would　be　completely　overwhelmed；　and；　as　there　had　been　no
sorrow　shown　for　the　fault；　there　had　been　none　of　that　softening　and
relenting　that　won　so　much　love　and　confidence。

Every　one　felt　that　talking　only　made　them　more　unhappy；　they　tried
to　return　to　their　occupations；　and　so　passed　the　time　till　night。
Then；　as　Richard　was　carrying　Margaret　upstairs；　Norman　lingered　to
say；　〃Papa；　I　am　very　sorry　you　should　think　I　neglected　Tom。　　I　dare
say　I　might　have　done　better　for　him；　but；　indeed；　I　have　tried。〃

〃I　am　sure　you　have；　Norman。　　I　spoke　hastily；　my　boyyou　will　not
think　more　of　it。　　When　a　thing　like　this　comes　on　a　man；　he　hardly
knows　what　he　says。〃

〃If　Harry　were　here；〃　said　Norman；　anxious　to　turn　from　the　real　loss
and　grief；　as　well　as　to　talk　away　that　feeling　of　being　apologised
to；　〃it　would　all　do　better。　　He　would　make　a　link　with　Tom；　but　I
have　so　little；　naturally；　to　do　with　the　second　form；　that　it　is　not
easy　to　keep　him　in　sight。〃

〃Yes；　yes；　I　know　that　very　well。　　It　is　no　one's　fault　but　my　own；　I
should　not　have　sent　him　there　without　knowing　him　better。　　But　you
see　how　it　is；　NormanI　have　trusted　to　her；　till　I　have　grown
neglectful；　and　it　is　well　if　it　is　not　the　ruin　of　him！〃

〃Perhaps　he　will　take　a　turn；　as　Ethel　says；〃　answered　Norman
cheerfully。　　〃Good…night；　papa。〃

〃I　have　a　blessing　to　be　thankful　for　in　you；　at　least；〃　murmured　the
doctor　to　himself。　　〃What　other　young　fellow　of　that　age　and　spirit
would　have　borne　so　patiently　with　my　injustice？　　Not　I；　I　am　sure！　a
fine　father　I　show　myself　to　these　poor　childrenneglect；
helplessness；　temperOh；　Maggie！〃

Margaret　had　so　bad　a　headache　the　next　day　that　she　could　not　come
downstairs。　　The　punishment　was；　they　heard；　a　flogging　at　the　time；
and　an　imposition　so　long；　that　it　was　likely　to　occupy　a　large
portion　of　the　play…hours　till　the　end　of　the　half…year。　　His　father
said；　and　Norman　silently　agreed；　〃a　very　good　thing；　it　will　keep
him　out　of　mischief；〃　but　Margaret　only　wished　she　could　learn　it　for
him；　and　took　upon　herself　all　the　blame　from　beginning　to　end。　　She
said　little　to　her　father；　for　it　distressed　him　to　see　her　grieved；
he　desired　her　not　to　dwell　on　the　subject；　caressed　her；　called　her
his　comfort　and　support；　and　did　all　he　could　to　console　her；　but　it
was　beyond　his　power；　her　sisters；　by　listening　to　her；　only　made　her
worse。　　〃Dear；　dear　papa；〃　she　exclaimed；　〃how　kind　he　is！　　But　he
can　never　depend　upon　me　againI　have　been　the　ruin　of　my　poor
little　Tom。〃

〃Well；〃　said　Richard　quietly；　〃I　can't　see　why　you　should　put
yourself　into　such　a　state　about　it。〃

This　took　Margaret　by　surprise。　　〃Have　not　I　done　very　wrong；　and
perhaps　hurt　Tom　for　life？〃

〃I　hope　not；〃　said　Richard。　　〃You　and　I　made　a　mistake；　but　it　does
not　follow　that　Tom　would　have　kept　out　of　this　scrape；　if　we　had
told　my　father　our　notion。〃

〃It　would　not　have　been　on　my　conscience；〃　said　Margaret〃he　would
not　have　sent　him　to　school。〃

〃I　don't　know　that；〃　said　Richard。　　〃At　any　rate　we　meant　to　do
right；　and　only　made　a　mistake。　　It　was　unfortunate；　but　I　can't　tell
why　you　go　and　make　yourself　ill；　by　fancying　it　worse　than　it　is。
The　boy　has　done　very　wrong；　but　people　get　cured　of　such　things　in
time；　and　it　is　nonsense　to　fret　as　if　he　were　not　a　mere　child　of
eight　years　old。　　You　did　not　teach　him　deceit。〃

〃No；　but　I　concealed　itpapa　is　disappointed；　when　he　thought　he
could　trust　me。〃

〃Well！　　I　suppose　no　one　could　expect　never　to　make　mistakes；〃　said
Richard；　in　his　sober　tone。

〃Self…sufficiency！〃　exclaimed　Margaret；　〃that　has　been　the　root　of
all！　　Do　you　know；　Ritchie；　I　believe　I　was　expecting　that　I　could
always　judge　rightly。〃

〃You　generally　do；〃　said　Richard；　〃no　one　else　could　do　half　what　you
do。〃

〃So　you　have　said；　papa；　and　all　of　you；　till　you　have　spoilt　me。　　I
have　thought　it　myself；　Ritchie。〃

〃It　is　true；〃　said　Richard。

〃But　then；〃　said　Margaret；　〃I　have　grown　to　think　much　of　it；　and　not
like　to　be　interfered　with。　　I　thought　I　could　manage　by　myself；　and
when　I　said　I　would　not　worry　papa；　it　was　half　because　I　liked　the
doing　and　settling　all　about　the　children　myself。　　Oh！　if　it　could
have　been　visited　in　any　way　but　by　poor　Tom's　faults！〃

〃Well；〃　said　Richard；　〃if　you　felt　so；　it　was　a　pity；　though　I　never
should　have　guessed　it。　　But　you　see　you　will　never　feel　so　again；
and　as　Tom　is　only　one；　and　there　are　nine　to　govern；　it　is　all　for
the　best。〃

His　deliberate　common…