the daisy chain, or aspirations-第6章
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makes Richard himself so unhappy to see his vexation； that I believe
it is better not to renew it。〃
〃But to miss him for so long！〃 said Margaret。 〃Perhaps it is best；
〃for it is very miserable when papa is sarcastic and sharp； and he
cannot understand it； and takes it as meaning so much more than it
really does； and grows all the more frightened and diffident。 I
cannot think what he would do without you to encourage him。〃
〃Or you； you good sister；〃 said her mother； smiling。 〃If we could
only teach him not to mind being laughed at； and to have some
confidence in himself； he and papa would get on together。〃
〃It is very hard；〃 cried Margaret； almost indignantly； 〃that papa
won't believe it； when he does his best。〃
〃I don't think papa can bear to bring himself to believe that it is
his best。〃
〃He is too clever himself to see how other people can be slow；〃 said
Margaret； 〃and yet〃the tears came into her eyes〃I cannot bear to
think of his telling Richard it was no use to think of being a
clergyman； and he had better turn carpenter at once； just because he
failed in his examination。〃
〃My dear； I wish you would forget that；〃 said Mrs。 May。 〃You know
papa sometimes says more than he means； and he was excessively vexed
and disappointed。 I know he was pleased with Ritchie's resolve not
to come home again till he had passed； and it is best that it should
not be broken。〃
〃The whole vacation； studying so hard； and this christening！〃 said
Margaret； 〃it is treating him as if he had done wrong。 I do believe
Mr。 Ernescliffe thinks he hasfor papa always turns away the
conversation if his name is mentioned！ I wish you would explain it；
mamma； I can't bear that。〃
〃If I can；〃 said Mrs。 May； rather pleased that Margaret had taken on
herself this vindication of her favourite brother her father's
expense。 〃But； after all； Margaret； I never feel quite sure that
poor Ritchie does exert himself to the utmost； he is too desponding
to make the most of himself。〃
〃And the more vexed papa is； the worse it grows！〃 said Margaret。
〃It is provoking； though。 How I do wish sometimes to give Ritchie a
jog； when there is some stumbling…block that he sticks fast at。
Don't you remember those sums； and those declensions？ When he is so
clear and sensible about practical matters tooanything but
learningI cannot think whyand it is very mortifying！〃
〃I dare say it is very good for us not to have our ambition
gratified；〃 said her mother。 〃There are so many troubles worse than
these failures； that it only shows how happy we are that we should
take them so much to heart。〃
〃They are a very real trouble！〃 said Margaret。 〃Don't smile； mamma。
Only remember how wretched his schooldays were； when papa could not
see any difficulty in what to him was so hard； and how all papa's
eagerness only stupified him the more。〃
〃They are a comfort not to have that over again！ Yet；〃 said the
mother； 〃I often think there is more fear for Norman。 I dread his
talent and success being snares。〃
〃There is no self…sufficiency about him；〃 said Margaret。 〃I hope
not； and he is so transparent； that it would be laughed down at the
first bud： but the universal good report； and certainty of success；
and being so often put in comparison with Richard； is hardly safe。
I was very glad he heard what Ethel said to…day。〃
〃Ethel spoke very deeply；〃 said Margaret； 〃I was a good deal struck
by itshe often comes out with such solid thoughts。〃
〃She is an excellent companion for Norman。〃
〃The desire of being first！〃 said Margaret； 〃I suppose that is a form
of caring for oneself！ It set me thinking a good deal； mamma； how
many forms of ambition there are。 The craving for rank； or wealth；
or beauty； are so clearly wrong； that one does not question about
them； but I suppose； as Ethel said； the caring to be first in
attainments is as bad。〃
〃Or in affection；〃 said Mrs。 May。
〃In affectionoh； mamma； there is always some one person with whom
one is first！〃 said Margaret eagerly； and then； her colour deepening；
as she saw her mother looking at her； she said hastily； 〃RitchieI
never considered itbut I knowit is my great pleasureoh； mamma！〃
〃Well； my dear； I do not say but that you are the first with Richard；
and that you well deserve to be so； but is the seeking to be the
first even in that way safe？ Is it not self…seeking again？〃
〃Well； perhaps it is。 I know it is what makes jealousy。〃
〃The only plan is not to think about ourselves at all；〃 said Mrs。
May。 〃Affection is round us like sunshine； and there is no use in
measuring and comparing。 We must give it out freely ourselves；
hoping for nothing again。〃
〃Oh； mamma； you don't mean that！〃
〃Perhaps I should have said； bargaining for nothing again。 It will
come of itself； if we don't exact it； but rivalry is the sure means
of driving it away； because that is trying to get oneself
worshipped。〃
〃I suppose； then； you have never thought of it；〃 said Margaret；
smiling。
〃Why； it would have been rather absurd；〃 said Mrs。 May； laughing； 〃to
begin to torment myself whether you were all fond of me！ You all
have just as much affection for me； from beginning to end； as is
natural； and what's the use of thinking about it？ No； no； Margaret；
don't go and protest that you love me； more than is natural；〃 as
Margaret looked inclined to say something very eager； 〃that would be
in the style of Regan and Goneril。 It will be natural by…and…by that
you should； some of you； love some one else better； and if I cared
for being first； what should I do then？〃
〃Oh； mamma！ But；〃 said Margaret suddenly； 〃you are always sure of
papa。〃
〃In one way； yes；〃 said Mrs。 May； 〃but how do I know how long〃 Calm
as she was； she could not finish that sentence。 〃No； Margaret； depend
upon it； the only security is not to think about ourselves at all；
and not to fix our mind on any affection on earth。 The least share
of the Love above is the fullness of all blessing； and if we seek
that first； all these things will be added unto us； and are；〃 she
whispered； more to herself than to Margaret。
CHAPTER III。
Wee modest crimson…tipped flower；
Thou'st met me in an evil hour；
For I maun crush amang the stoure
Thy slender stem。
To spare thee now is past my power；
Thou bonnie gem。
BURNS。
〃Is this all the walking party？〃 exclaimed Mr。 Ernescliffe； as Miss
Winter； Flora； and Norman gathered in the hall。
〃Harry won't go because of Ethel's spectacles；〃 answered Flora； 〃and
Mary and he are inseparable； so they are gone with Hector to have a
shipwreck in the field。〃
〃And your other sisters？〃
〃Margaret has rattedshe is going to drive out with mamma；〃 said
Norman； 〃as to Etheldred the Unready； I'll run up and hurry her。〃
In a moment he was at her door。 〃Oh！ Norman； come in。 Is it time？〃
〃I should think so！ You're keeping every one waiting。〃
〃Oh； dear！ go on； only just tell me the past participle of 'offero'；
and I'll catch you up。〃
〃'Oblatus。'〃
〃Oh； yes； how stupid。 The 'a' long or short？ Then that's right。
I had such a line in my head； I was forced to write it down。 Is not
it a capital subject this time？〃
〃The devotion of Decius？ Capital。 Let me see！〃 said Norman； taking
up a paper scribbled in pencil； with Latin verses。 〃Oh； you have
taken up quite a different line from mine。 I began with Mount
Vesuvius spouting lava like anything。〃
〃But Mount Vesuvius didn't spout till it overthrew Pompeii。〃
〃Murder！〃 cried Norman； 〃I forgot！ It's lucky you put me in mind。
I must make a fresh beginning。 There go my six best lines！ However；
it was an uncanny place； fit for hobgoblins； and shades； and funny
customers； which will do as well for my purpose。 Ha！ that's grand
about its being so much better than the vana gloria triumphalisonly
take care of the scanning there〃
〃If it was but English。 Something like this：
〃For what is equal to the fame
Of forgetting self in the aim？
That's not right； but〃
〃Ethel； Norman； what are you about？ cried Flora。 〃Do you mean to go
to Cocksmoor to…day？〃
〃Oh； yes！〃 cried Ethel； flying into vehement activity； 〃o
