the daisy chain, or aspirations-第57章

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beyond　what　can　be　good　for　anybody。　　You　see　Norman　is　much　cleverer
than　most　boys；　and　you　are　a　year　younger；　and　besides　doing　all　his
work　at　the　head　of　the　school；　his　whole　business　of　the　day；　you
have　Cocksmoor　to　attend　to；　and　your　own　lessons；　besides　reading
all　the　books　that　come　into　the　house。　　Now　isn't　that　more　than　is
reasonable　to　expect　any　head　and　hands　to　do　properly？〃

〃But　if　I　can　do　it？〃

〃But　can　you；　dear　Ethel？　　Aren't　you　always　racing　from　one　thing　to
another；　doing　them　by　halves；　feeling　hunted；　and　then　growing
vexed？〃

〃I　know　I　have　been　cross　lately；〃　said　Ethel；　〃but　it's　the　being　so
bothered。〃

〃And　why　are　you　bothered？　　Isn't　it　that　you　undertake　too　much？〃

〃What　would　you　have　me　do？〃　said　Ethel；　in　an　injured；　unconvinced
voice。　　〃Not　give　up　my　children？〃

〃No；〃　said　Margaret；　〃but　don't　think　me　very　unkind　if　I　say；
suppose　you　left　off　trying　to　keep　up　with　Norman。〃

〃Oh；　Margaret！　Margaret！〃　and　her　eyes　filled　with　tears。　　〃We　have
hardly　missed　doing　the　same　every　day　since　the　first　Latin　grammar
was　put　into　his　hands！〃

〃I　know　it　would　be　very　hard；〃　said　Margaret；　but　Ethel　continued；
in　a　piteous　tone；　a　little　sentimental；　〃From　hie　haec　hoc　up　to
Alcaics　and　beta　Thukididou　we　have　gone　on　together；　and　I　can't
bear　to　give　it　up。　　I'm　sure　I　can〃

〃Stop；　Ethel；　I　really　doubt　whether　you　can。　　Do　you　know　that
Norman　was　telling　papa　the　other　day　that　it　was　very　odd　Dr。　Hoxton
gave　them　such　easy　lessons。〃

Ethel　looked　very　much　mortified。

〃You　see；〃　said　Margaret　kindly；　〃we　all　know　that　men　have　more
power　than　women；　and　I　suppose　the　time　has　come　for　Norman　to　pass
beyond　you。　　He　would　not　be　cleverer　than　any　one；　if　he　could　not
do　more　than　a　girl　at　home。〃

〃He　has　so　much　more　time　for　it；〃　said　Ethel。

〃That's　the　very　thing。　　Now　consider；　Ethel。　　His　work；　after　he
goes　to　Oxford；　will　be　doing　his　very　utmostand　you　know　what　an
utmost　that　is。　　If　you　could　keep　up　with　him　at　all；　you　must　give
your　whole　time　and　thoughts　to　it；　and　when　you　had　done　soif　you
could　get　all　the　honours　in　the　Universitywhat　would　it　come　to？
You　can't　take　a　first…class。〃

〃I　don't　want　one；〃　said　Ethel；　〃I　only　can't　bear　not　to　do　as
Norman　does；　and　I　like　Greek　so　much。〃

〃And　for　that　would　you　give　up　being　a　useful；　steady　daughter　and
sister　at　home？　　The　sort　of　woman　that　dear　mamma　wished　to　make
you；　and　a　comfort　to　papa。〃

Ethel　was　silent；　and　large　tears　were　gathering。

〃You　own　that　that　is　the　first　thing？〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Ethel　faintly。

〃And　that　it　is　what　you　fail　in　most？〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Then；　Ethel　dearest；　when　you　made　up　your　mind　to　Cocksmoor；　you
knew　those　things　could　not　be　done　without　a　sacrifice？〃

〃Yes；　but　I　didn't　think　it　would　be　this。〃

Margaret　was　wise　enough　not　to　press　her；　and　she　sat　down　and
sighed　pitifully。　　Presently　she　said；　〃Margaret；　if　you　would　only
let　me　leave　off　that　stupid　old　French；　and　horrid　dull　reading　with
Miss　Winter；　I　should　have　plenty　of　time　for　everything；　and　what
does　one　learn　by　hearing　Mary　read　poetry　she　can't　understand？〃

〃You　work；　don't　you？　　But　indeed；　Ethel；　don't　say　that　I　can　let
you　leave　off　anything。　　I　don't　feel　as　if　I　had　that　authority。　　If
it　be　done　at　all；　it　must　be　by　papa's　consent；　and　if　you　wish　me
to　ask　him　about　it；　I　will；　only　I　think　it　would　vex　Miss　Winter；
and　I　don't　think　dear　mamma　would　have　liked　Greek　and　Cocksmoor　to
swallow　up　all　the　little　common　ladylike　things。〃

Ethel　made　two　or　three　great　gulps；　〃Margaret；　must　I　give　up
everything；　and　forget　all　my　Latin　and　Greek？〃

〃I　should　think　that　would　be　a　great　pity；〃　said　Margaret。　　〃If　you
were　to　give　up　the　verse…making；　and　the　trying　to　do　as　much　as
Norman；　and　fix　some　time　in　the　dayhalf　an　hour；　perhapsfor　your
Greek；　I　think　it　might　do　very　well。〃

〃Thank　you；〃　said　Ethel；　much　relieved；　〃I'm　glad　you　don't　want　me
to　leave　it　all　off。　　I　hope　Norman　won't　be　vexed；〃　she　added；
looking　a　little　melancholy。

But　Norman　had　not　by　any　means　the　sort　of　sentiment　on　the　subject
that　she　had。　　〃Of　course；　you　know；　Ethel；〃　said　he；　〃it　must　have
come　to　this　some　time　or　other；　and　if　you　find　those　verses　too
hard；　and　that　they　take　up　too　much　of　your　time；　you　had　better
give　them　up。〃

Ethel　did　not　like　anything　to　be　said　to　be　too　hard　for　her；　and
was　very　near　pleading　she　only　wanted　time；　but　some　recollection
came　across　her；　and　presently　she　said；　〃I　suppose　it　is　a　wrong
sort　of　ambition　to　want　to　learn　more；　in　one's　own　way；　when　one　is
told　it　is　not　good　for　one。　　I　was　just　going　to　say　I　hated　being　a
woman；　and　having　these　tiresome　little　triflesmy　dutyinstead　of
learning；　which　is　yours；　Norman。〃

〃I'm　glad　you　did　not；〃　said　Norman；　〃for　it　would　have　been　very
silly　of　you；　and　I　assure　you；　Ethel；　it　is　really　time　for　you　to
stop；　or　you　would　get　into　a　regular　learned　lady；　and　be　good　for
nothing。　　I　don't　mean　that　knowing　more　than　other　people　would　make
you　so；　but　minding　nothing　else　would。〃

This　argument　from　Norman　himself　did　much　to　reconcile　Ethel's　mind
to　the　sacrifice　she　had　made；　and　when　she　went　to　bed；　she　tried　to
work　out　the　question　in　her　own　mind；　whether　her　eagerness　for
classical　learning　was　a　wrong　sort　of　ambition；　to　know　what　other
girls　did　not；　and　whether　it　was　right　to　crave　for　more　knowledge
than　was　thought　advisable　for　her。　　She　only　bewildered　herself；　and
went　to　sleep　before　she　had　settled　anything；　but　that　she　knew　she
must　make　all　give　way　to　papa　first；　and；　secondly；　to　Cocksmoor。

Meanwhile　Margaret　had　told　her　father　all　that　had　passed。　　He　was
only　surprised　to　hear　that　Ethel　had　kept　up　so　long　with　Norman；
and　thought　that　it　was　quite　right　that　she　should　not　undertake　so
much；　agreeing　more　entirely　than　Margaret　had　expected　with　Miss
Winter's　view；　that　it　would　be　hurtful　to　body　as　well　as　mind。

〃It　is　perfectly　ridiculous　to　think　of　her　attempting　it！〃　he　said。
〃I　am　glad　you　have　put　a　stop　to　it。〃

〃I　am　glad　I　have；〃　said　Margaret；　〃and　dear　Ethel　behaved　so　very
well。　　If　she　had　resisted；　it　would　have　puzzled　me　very　much；　I
must　have　asked　you　to　settle　it。　　But　it　is　very　odd；　papa；　Ethel　is
the　one　of　them　all　who　treats　me　most　as　if　I　had　real　authority
over　her；　she　lets　me　scold　her；　asks　my　leave；　never　seems　to
recollect　for　a　moment　how　little　older　I　am；　and　how　much　cleverer
she　is。　　I　am　sure　I　never　should　have　submitted　so　readily。　　And
that　always　makes　it　more　difficult　to　me　to　direct　her；　I　don't　like
to　take　upon　me　with　her；　because　it　seems　wrong　to　have　her　obeying
me　as　if　she　were　a　mere　child。〃

〃She　is　a　fine　creature；〃　said　Dr。　May　emphatically。　　〃It　just　shows
the　fact；　the　higher　the　mind　the　readier　the　submission。　　But　you
don't　mean　that　you　have　any　difficulty　with　the　others？〃

〃Oh；　no；　no。　　Flora　never　could　need　any　interference；　especially
from　me；　and　Mary　is　a　thorough　good　girl。　　I　only　meant　that　Ethel
lays　herself　out　to　be　ruled　in　quite　a　remarkable　way。　　I　am　sure；
though　she　does　love　learning；　her　real　love　is　for　goodness　and　for
you；　papa。〃

Ethel　would　have　thought　her　sacrifice　well　paid　for；　had　she　seen
her　father's　look　of　mournful　pleasure。




CHAPTER　XIX。



0　ruthful　scene！　when　from　a　nook　obscure；
His　little　sister　doth　his　peril　see；
All　playful　as　she　sate；　she　grows　demure；
She　finds　full　soon　her　wonted　spirits　flee；
She　meditates　a　prayer　to　set　him　free。
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　SHENSTONE。


The　setting　sun　shone　into　the　great　west　window　of　the　school　at
Stoneborough；　on　its　bare　walls；　the　masters'　desks；　the　forms
polished　with　use；　and　the　square；　inky；　hacked　and　hewed　chests；
carved　with　the　names　of　many　generations　of　boys。

About　six　or　eight　little　boys　were　clearing　away　the　books　or　papers
that　they；　or　those　who　owned　them　as　fags；　had　left　astray；　and　a
good　deal　of　talk　and　laughing　was　going；　on　among　them。　　〃Ha！〃
exclaimed　one；　〃here　has　Harrison　left　his　book　behind　him　that　he
was　showing　us