the daisy chain, or aspirations-第43章

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Aubrey；　here　recollecting　himself　enough　to　be　frightened　at　his
father's　voice　and　manner；　burst　into　loud　cries；　the　doctor　pressed
him　closer　on　his　breast；　caressed　and　soothed　him。　　Ethel　stood　by；
pale　and　transfixed　with　horror。　　Her　father　was　more　angry　with　her
than　she　had　ever　seen　him；　and　with　reason；　as　she　knew；　as　she
smelled　the　singeing；　and　saw　a　large　burnt　hole　in　Aubrey's
pinafore；　while　the　front　of　his　frock　was　scorched　and　brown。　　Dr。
May's　words　were　not　needed；　〃What　could　make　you　let　him？〃

〃I　didn't　see〃　she　faltered。

〃Didn't　see！　　Didn't　look；　didn't　think；　didn't　care！　　That's　it；
Ethel。　　'Tis　very　hard　one　can't　trust　you　in　a　room　with　the　child
any　more　than　the　baby　himself。　　His　frock　perfect　tinder！　　He　would
have　been　burned　to　a　cinder；　if　I　had　not　come　in！〃


Aubrey　roared　afresh；　and　Dr。　May；　kissing　and　comforting　him；
gathered　him　up　in　his　left　arm；　and　carried　him　away；　looking　back
at　the　door　to　say；　〃There's　no　bearing　it！　　I'll　put　a　stop　to　all
schools　and　Greek；　if　it　is　to　lead　to　this；　and　make　you　good　for
nothing！〃

Ethel　was　too　much　terrified　to　know　where　she　was；　or　anything；　but
that　she　had　let　her　little　brother　run　into　fearful　peril；　and
grievously　angered　her　father；　she　was　afraid　to　follow　him；　and
stood　still；　annihilated；　and　in　despair；　till　roused　by　his　return；
then；　with　a　stifled　sob；　she　exclaimed；　〃Oh；　papa！〃　and　could　get　no
further　for　a　gush　of　tears。

But　the　anger　of　the　shock　of　terror　was　over；　and　Dr。　May　was　sorry
for　her　tears；　though　still　he　could　not　but　manifest　some
displeasure。　　〃Yes；　Ethel；〃　he　said；　〃it　was　a　frightful　thing；〃　and
he　could　not　but　shudder　again。　　〃One　moment　later！　　It　is　an　escape
to　be　for　ever　thankful　forpoor　little　fellow！but；　Ethel；　Ethel；
do　let　it　be　a　warning　to　you。〃

〃Oh；　I　hopeI'll　try〃　sobbed　Ethel。

〃You　have　said　you　would　try　before。〃

〃I　know　I　have；〃　said　Ethel；　choked。　　〃If　I　could　but〃

〃Poor　child；〃　said　Dr。　May　sadly；　then　looking　earnestly　at　her；
〃Ethel；　my　dear；　I　am　afraid　of　its　being　with　you　asas　it　has　been
with　me；〃　he　spoke　very　low；　and　drew　her　close　to　him。　　〃I　grew　up；
thinking　my　inbred　heedlessness　a　sort　of　grace；　so　to　say；　rather
manlythe　reverse　of　finikin。　　I　was　spoiled　as　a　boy；　and　my　Maggie
carried　on　the　spoiling；　by　never　letting　me　feel　its　effects。　　By
the　time　I　had　sense　enough　to　regret　this　as　a　fault；　I　had　grown
too　old　for　changing　of　ingrain；　long…nurtured　habitsperhaps　I
never　wished　it　really。　　You　have　seen；〃　and　his　voice　was　nearly
inaudible；　〃what　my　carelessness　has　come　tolet　that　suffice　at
least；　as　a　lesson　that　may　spare　youwhat　your　father　must　feel　as
long　as　he　lives。〃

He　pressed　his　hand　tightly　on　her　shoulder；　and　left　her；　without
letting　her　see　his　face。　　Shocked　and　bewildered；　she　hurried
upstairs　to　Margaret。　　She　threw　herself　on　her　knees；　felt　her　arms
round　her；　and　heard　her　kind　soothing；　and　then；　in　broken　words；
told　how　dreadful　it　had　been；　and　how　kind　papa　had　been；　and　what
he　had　said；　which　was　now　the　uppermost　thought。　　〃Oh；　Margaret；
Margaret；　how　very　terrible　it　is！　　And　does　papa　really　think　so？〃

〃I　believe　he　does；〃　whispered　Margaret。

〃How　can　he；　can　he　bear　it〃〃　said　Ethel；　clasping　her　hands。　　〃Oh！
it　is　enough　to　kill　oneI　can't　think　why　it　did　not！〃

〃He　bears　it；〃　said　Margaret；　〃because　he　is　so　very　good；　that　help
and　comfort　do　come　to　him。　　Dear　papa！　　He　bears　up　because　it　is
right；　and　for　our　sakes；　and　he　has　a　sort　of　rest　in　that　perfect
love　they　had　for　each　other。　　He　knows　how　she　would　wish　him　to
cheer　up　and　look　to　the　end；　and　support　and　comfort　are　given　to
him；　I　know　they　are；　but　oh；　Ethel！　it　does　make　one　tremble　and
shrink；　to　think　what　he　has　been　going　through　this　autumn；
especially　when　I　hear　him　moving　about　late　at　night；　and　now　and
then　comes　a　heavy　groanwhenever　any　especial　care　has　been　on　his
mind。〃

Ethel　was　in　great　distress。　〃To　have　grieved　him　again！〃　said　she；
〃and　just　as　he　seemed　better　and　brighter！　　Everything　I　do　turns
out　wrong；　and　always　will；　I　can't　do　anything　well　by　any　chance。〃

〃Yes　you　can；　when　you　mind　what　you　are　about。〃

〃But　I　never　canI'm　like　him；　every　one　says　so；　and　he　says　the
heedlessness　is　ingrain；　and　can't　be　got　rid　of。〃

〃Ethel；　I　don't　really　think　he　could　have　told　you　so。〃

〃I'm　sure　he　said　ingrain。〃

〃Well；　I　suppose　it　is　part　of　his　nature；　and　that　you　have
inherited　it；　but〃Margaret　paused；　and　Ethel　exclaimed：

〃He　said　his　was　long…nurtured；　yes；　Margaret；　you　guessed　right；　and
he　said　he　could　not　change　it；　and　no　more　can　I。〃

〃Surely；　Ethel；　you　have　not　had　so　many　years。　　You　are　fifteen
instead　of　forty…six；　and　it　is　more　a　woman's　work　than　a　man's　to
be　careful。　　You　need　not　begin　to　despair。　　You　were　growing　much
better；　Richard　said　so；　and　so　did　Miss　Winter。〃

〃What's　the　use　of　it；　if　in　one　moment　it　is　as　bad　as　ever？　　And
to…day；　of　all　days　in　the　year；　just　when　papa　had　been　so　very；
very　kind；　and　given　me　more　than　I　asked。〃

〃Do　you　know；　Ethel；　I　was　thinking　whether　dear　mamma　would　not　say
that　was　the　reason。　　You　were　so　happy；　that　perhaps　you　were　thrown
off　your　guard。〃

〃I　should　not　wonder　if　that　was　it；〃　said　Ethel　thoughtfully。　　〃You
know　it　was　a　sort　of　probation　that　Richard　put　me　on。　　I　was　to
learn　to　be　steady　before　he　spoke　to　papa；　and　now　it　seemed　to　be
all　settled　and　right；　and　perhaps　I　forgot　I　was　to　be　careful
still。〃

〃I　think　it　was　something　of　the　kind。　　I　was　a　little　afraid　before；
and　I　wish　I　had　tried　to　caution　you；　but　I　did　not　like　to　seem
unkind。〃

〃I　wish　you　had；〃　said　Ethel。　〃Dear　little　Aubrey！　　Oh；　if　papa　had
not　been　there！　　And　I　cannot　think　how；　as　it　was；　he　could　contrive
to　put　the　fire　out；　with　his　one　hand；　and　not　hurt　himself。
Margaret　it　was　terrible。　　How　could　I　mind　so　little！　　Did　you　see
how　his　frock　was　singed？〃

〃Yes；　papa　showed　it　to　me。　　How　can　we　be　thankful　enough！　　One
thing　I　hope；　that　Aubrey　was　well　frightened；　poor　little　boy。〃

〃I　know！　　I　see　now！〃　cried　Ethel；　〃he　must　have　wanted　me　to　make
the　fire　blaze　up；　as　Richard　did　one　evening　when　we　came　in　and
found　it　low；　I　remember　Aubrey　clapping　his　hands　and　shouting　at
the　flame；　but　my　head　was　in　that　unhappy　story；　and　I　never　had
sense　to　put　the　things　together；　and　reflect　that　he　would　try　to　do
it　himself。　　I　only　wanted　to　get　him　out　of　my　way；　dear　little
fellow。　　Oh；　dear；　how　bad　it　was　of　me！　　All　from　being　uplifted；
and　my　head　turned；　as　it　used　to　be　when　we　were　happier。　　Oh！　I
wish　Mr。　Wilmot　was　not　coming！〃

Ethel　sat　for　a　long　time　with　her　head　hidden　in　Margaret's　pillows；
and　her　hand　clasped　by　her　good　elder　sister。　　At　last　she　looked　up
and　said；　〃Oh；　Margaret；　I　am　so　unhappy。　　I　see　the　whole　meaning　of
it　now。　　Do　you　not？　　When　papa　gave　his　consent　at　last；　I　was
pleased　and　set　up；　and　proud　of　my　plans。　　I　never　recollected　what
a　silly；　foolish　girl　I　am；　and　how　unfit。　　I　thought　Mr。　Wilmot
would　think　great　things　of　itit　was　all　wrong　and　self…satisfied。
I　never　prayed　at　all　that　it　might　turn　out　well；　and　so　now　it
won't。〃

〃Dearest　Ethel；　I　don't　see　that。　　Perhaps　it　will　do　all　the　better
for　your　being　humbled　about　it　now。　　If　you　were　wild　and　high
flying；　it　would　never　go　right。〃

〃Its　hope　is　in　Richard；〃　said　Ethel。

〃So　it　is；〃　said　Margaret。

〃I　wish　Mr。　Wilmot　was　not　coming　to…night；〃　said　Ethel　again。　　〃It
would　serve　me　right　if　papa　were　to　say　nothing　about　it。〃

Ethel　lingered　with　her　sister　till　Harry　and　Mary　came　up　with
Margaret's　tea；　and　summoned　her；　and　she　crept　downstairs；　and
entered　the　room　so　quietly；　that　she　was　hardly　perceived　behind　her
boisterous　brother。　　She　knew　her　eyes　were　in　no　presentable　state；
and　cast　them　down；　and　shrank　back　as　Mr。　Wilmot　shook　her　hand　and
greeted　her　kindly。

Mr。　Wilmot　had　been　wont　to　come　to　tea　whenever　he　had　anything　to
say　to　Dr。　or　Mrs。　May；　which　was　about　once　in　ten　or　twelve　days。
He　was　Mary's　godfather；　and　their　most　intimate　friend　in　the　t