the daisy chain, or aspirations-第185章
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lingering to track the royal highway of some giant ants to their fir…
leaf hillock; when they were hailed from behind; and her squire felt
ferocious at the sight of Norman and Harry closing the perspective of
fir…trunks。
〃Hallo! Tom; what a guide you are!〃 exclaimed Norman。 〃That fence
which even Ethel and Mary avoid!〃
〃Mary climbs like a cow; and Ethel like a father…long…legs;〃 said
Tom。 〃Now Meta flies like a bird。〃
〃And Tom helped me so cleverly;〃 said Meta。 〃It was an excellent
move; to get into the shade and this delicious pine tree fragrance。〃
〃Halt!〃 said Norman〃this is too fast for Meta。〃
〃I cannot;〃 said Harry。 〃I must get there in time to set Dr。
Spencer's tackle to rights。 He is tolerably knowing about knots; but
there is a dodge beyond him。 Come on; Tom。〃
He drew on the reluctant Etonian; who looked repiningly back at the
increasing distance between him and the other pair; till a turn in
the path cut off his view。
〃I am afraid you do not know what you have undertaken;〃 said Norman。
〃I am a capital walker。 And I know; or do not know; how often Ethel
takes the same walk。〃
〃Ethel is no rule。〃
〃She ought to be;〃 said Meta。 〃To be like her has always been my
ambition。〃
〃Circumstances have formed Ethel。〃
〃Circumstances! What an ambiguous word! Either Providence pointing
to duty; or the world drawing us from it。〃
〃Stepping…stones; or stumbling…blocks。〃
〃And; oh! the difficult question; when to bend them; or to bend to
them!〃
〃There must be always some guiding;〃 said Norman。
〃I believe there is;〃 said Meta; 〃but when trumpet…peals are ringing
around; it is hard to know whether one is really 'waiting beside the
tent;' or only dawdling。〃
〃It is great self…denial in the immovable square not to join the
charge;〃 said Norman。
〃Yes; but they; being shot at; are not deceiving themselves。〃
〃I suppose self…deception on those points is very common。〃
〃Especially among young ladies;〃 said Meta。 〃I hear so much of what
girls would do; if they might; or could; that I long to see them like
Etheldo what they can。 And then it strikes me that I am doing the
same; living wilfully in indulgence; and putting my trust in my own
misgivings and discontent。〃
〃I should have thought that discontent had as little to do with you
as with any living creature。〃
〃You don't know how I could growl!〃 said Meta; laughing。 〃Though
less from having anything to complain of; than from having nothing to
complain of。〃
〃You mean;〃 he said; pausing; with a seriousness and hesitation that
startled her〃do you mean that this is not the course of life that
you would choose?〃
A sort of bashfulness made her put her answer playfully
〃All play and no work makes Jack a mere toy。
〃Toys have a kindly mission; and I may be good for nothing else; but
I would have rather been a coffee…pot than a china shepherdess。〃
The gaiety disconcerted him; and he seemed to try to be silent; or to
reply in the same tone; but he could not help returning to the
subject。 〃Then you find no charm in the refinements to which you
have been brought up?〃
〃Only too much;〃 said Meta。
He was silent; and fearing to have added to his fine…lady impression;
she resumed。 〃I mean that I never could dislike anything; and
kindness gives these things a soul; but; of course; I should be
better satisfied; if I lived harder; and had work to do。〃
〃Meta!〃 he exclaimed; 〃you tempt me very much! Would you? No; it
is too unreasonable。 Would you shareshare the work that I have
undertaken?〃
He turned aside and leaned against a tree; as if not daring to watch
the effect of the agitated words that had broken from him。 She had
little imagined whither his last sayings had been tending; and stood
still; breathless with the surprise。
〃Forgive me;〃 he said hastily。 〃It was very wrong。 I never meant to
have vexed you by the betrayal of my vain affection。〃
He seemed to be going; and this roused her。 〃Stay; Norman;〃
exclaimed she。 〃Why should it vex me? I should like it very much
indeed。〃
He faced suddenly towards her 〃Meta; Meta! is it possible? Do you
know what you are saying?〃
〃I think I do。〃
〃You must understand me;〃 said Norman; striving to speak calmly。 〃You
have beenwords will not express what you have been to me for years
past; but I thought you too far beyond my hopes。 I knew I ought to
be removed from youI believed that those who are debarred from
earthly happiness are marked for especial tasks。 I never intended
you to know what actuated me; and now the work is undertaken; and
and I cannot turn back;〃 he added quickly; as if fearing himself。
〃No indeed;〃 was her steady reply。
〃Then I may believe it!〃 cried Norman。 〃You doyou willyou
deliberately choose to share it with me?〃
〃I will try not to be a weight on you;〃 answered the young girl; with
a sweet mixture of resolution and humility。 〃It would be the
greatest possible privilege。 I really do not think I am a fine lady
ingrain; and you will teach me not to be too unworthy。〃
〃I? Oh; Meta; you know not what I am! Yet with you; with you to
inspire; to strengthen; to cheerMeta; Meta; life is so much changed
before me; that I cannot understand it yetafter the long dreary
hopelessness〃
〃I can't think why〃 Meta had half said; when feminine dignity
checked the words; consciousness and confusion suddenly assailed her;
dyed her cheeks crimson; and stifled her voice。
It was the same with Norman; and bashfulness making a sudden prey of
bothon they went under its dominion; in a condition partaking
equally of discomfort and felicity; dreading the sound of their own
voices; afraid of each other's faces; feeling they were treating each
other very strangely and ungratefully; yet without an idea what to
say next; or the power of speaking first; and therefore pacing
onwards; looking gravely straight along the path; as if to prevent
the rabbits and foxgloves from guessing that anything had been
passing between them。
Dr。 May had made his call at Drydale; and was driving up a rough
lane; between furzy banks; leading to Cocksmoor; when he was aware of
a tall gentleman on one side of the road and a little lady on the
other; with the whole space of the cart…track between them; advancing
soberly towards him。
〃Hallo! Why; Meta! Norman! what brings you here? Where are you
going?〃
Norman perceived that he had turned to the left instead of to the
right; and was covered with shame。
〃That is all your wits are good for。 It is well I met you; or you
would have led poor Meta a pretty dance! You will know better than
to trust yourself to the mercies of a scholar another time。 Let me
give you a lift。〃
The courteous doctor sprang out to hand Meta in; but something made
him suddenly desire Adams to drive on; and then turning round to the
two young people; he said; 〃Oh!〃
〃Yes;〃 said Norman; taking her hand; and drawing her towards him。
〃What; Meta; my pretty one; is it really so? Is he to be happy after
all? Are you to be a Daisy of my own?〃
〃If you will let me;〃 murmured Meta; clinging to her kind old friend。
〃No flower on earth could come so naturally to us;〃 said Dr。 May。
〃And; dear child; at last I may venture to tell you that you have a
sanction that you will value more than mine。 Yes; my dear; on the
last day of your dear father's life; when some foreboding hung upon
him; he spoke to me of your prospects; and singled out this very
Norman as such as he would prefer。〃
Meta's tears prevented all; save the two little words; 〃thank you;〃
but she put out her hand to Norman; as she still rested on the
doctor's arm; more as if he had been her mother than Norman's father。
〃Did he?〃 from Norman; was equally inexpressive of the almost
incredulous gratitude and tenderness of his feeling。
It would not bear talking over at that moment; and Dr。 May presently
broke the silence in a playful tone。 〃So; Meta; good men don't like
heiresses?〃
〃Quite true;〃 said Meta; 〃it was very much against me。〃
〃Or it may be the other way;〃 said Norman。
〃Eh? Good men don't like heiresseshere's a man who likes an
heiresstherefore here's a man