the daisy chain, or aspirations-第12章

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sense　that　no　mother　would　ever　soothe　themMargaret；　papa；　both　so
ill；　nurse　engaged　with　Margaret！　　Ethel　stood　helpless　and
despairing；　and　Flora　sobbed　on；　so　that　Mary　awakened　to　burst　out
in　a　loud　frightened　fit　of　crying；　but　in　a　few　moments　a　step　was
at　the　door；　a　knock；　and　Richard　asked；　〃Is　anything　the　matter？〃

He　was　in　the　room　in　a　moment；　caressing　and　saying　affectionate
things　with　gentleness　and　fondling　care；　like　his　mother；　and　which
recalled　the　days　when　he　had　been　proud　to　be　left　for　a　little
while　the　small　nurse　and　guardian　of　the　lesser　ones。　　Mary　was
hushed　in　a　moment；　and　Flora's　exhausted　weeping　was　gradually
soothed；　when　she　was　able　to　recollect　that　she　was　keeping　him　from
her　father；　with　kind　good…nights；　he　left　Ethel　to　read　to　her　till
she　could　sleep。　　Long　did　Ethel　read；　after　both　her　sisters　were
slumbering　soundly；　she　went　on　in　a　sort　of　dreamy　grief；　almost
devoid　of　pain；　as　if　all　this　was　too　terrible　to　be　true：　and　she
had　imagined　herself　into　a　story；　which　would　give　place　at　dawn　to
her　ordinary　life。

At　last　she　went　to　bed；　and　slept　till　wakened　by　the　return　of
Flora；　who　had　crept　down　in　her　dressing…gown　to　see　how　matters
were　going。　　Margaret　was　in　the　same　state；　papa　was　asleep；　after　a
restless　distressing　night；　with　much　pain　and　some　fever；　and
whenever　Richard　had　begun　to　hope　from　his　tranquillity；　that　he　was
falling　asleep；　he　was　undeceived　by　hearing　an　almost　unconsciously
uttered　sigh　of　〃Maggie；　my　Maggie！〃　and　then　the　head　turned　wearily
on　the　pillow；　as　if　worn　out　with　the　misery　from　which　there　was　no
escape。　　Towards　morning　the　pain　had　lessened；　and；　as　he　slept；　he
seemed　much　less　feverish　than　they　could　have　ventured　to　expect。

Norman　looked　wan　and　wretched；　and　could　taste　no　breakfast；　indeed
Harry　reported　that　he　had　been　starting　and　talking　in　his　sleep
half　the　night；　and　had　proceeded　to　groaning　and　crying　out　till；
when　it　could　be　borne　no　longer；　Harry　waked　him；　and　finished　his
night's　rest　in　peace。

The　children　were　kept　in　the　drawing…room　that　morning；　and　there
were　strange　steps　in　the　house；　but　only　Richard　and　Mr。　Ernescliffe
knew　the　reason。　　Happily　there　had　been　witnesses　enough　of　the
overturn　to　spare　any　reference　to　Dr。　Maythe　violent　start　of　the
horses　had　been　seen；　and　Adams　and　Mr。　Ernescliffe　agreed；　under
their　breath；　that　the　new　black　one　was　not　fit　to　drive；　while　the
whole　town　was　so　used　to　Dr。　May's　headlong　driving；　that　every　one
was　recollecting　their　own　predictions　of　accidents。　　There　needed
little　to　account　for　the　disasterthe　only　wonder　was　that　it　had
not　happened　sooner。

〃I　say；〃　announced　Harry；　soon　after　they　were　released　again；　〃I've
been　in　to　papa。　　His　door　was　open；　and　he　heard　me；　and　called　me。
He　says　he　should　like　any　of　us　to　come　in　and　see　him。　　Hadn't　you
better　go；　Norman？〃

Norman　started　up；　and　walked　hastily　out　of　the　room；　but　his　hand
shook　so；　that　he　could　hardly　open　the　door；　and　Ethel；　seeing　how
it　was　with　him；　followed　him　quickly；　as　he　dashed；　at　full　speed；
up　the　stairs。　　At　the　top；　however；　he　was　forced　to　cling　to　the
rail；　gasping　for　breath；　while　the　moisture　started　on　his　forehead。

〃Dear　Norman；〃　she　said；　〃there's　nothing　to　mind。　　He　looks　just　as
usual。　　You　would　not　know　there　was　anything　the　matter。〃　　But　he
rested　his　head　on　his　hand；　and　looked　as　if　he　could　not　stir。　　〃I
see　it　won't　do；〃　said　Ethel〃don't　tryyou　will　be　better　by…and…
by；　and　he　has　not　asked　for　you　in　particular。〃

〃I　won't　be　beat　by　such　stuff；〃　said　Norman；　stepping　hastily
forwards；　and　opening　the　door　suddenly。　　He　got　through　the　greeting
pretty　well；　there　was　no　need　for　him　to　speak；　he　only　gave　his
hand　and　looked　away；　unable　to　bring　himself　to　turn　his　eyes　on　his
father；　and　afraid　of　letting　his　own　face　be　seen。　　Almost　at　the
same　moment；　nurse　came　to　say　something　about　Margaret；　and　he
seized　the　opportunity　of　withdrawing　his　hand；　and　hurrying　away；　in
good　time；　for　he　was　pale　as　death；　and　was　obliged　to　sit　down　on
the　head　of　the　stairs；　and　lean　his　head　against　Etheldred。

〃What　does　make　me　so　ridiculous？〃　he　exclaimed　faintly；　but　very
indignantly。

The　first　cure　was　the　being　forced　to　clear　out　of　Mr。　Ward's　way；
which　he　could　not　effect　without　being　seen；　and　Ethel　though　she
knew　that　he　would　be　annoyed；　was　not　sorry　to　be　obliged　to　remain；
and　tell　what　was　the　matter　with　him。　　〃Oh；〃　said　Mr。　Ward；　turning
and　proceeding　to　the　dining…room；　〃I'll　set　that　to　rights　in　a
minute；　if　you　will　ask　for　a　tumbler　of　hot　water　Miss　Ethel。

And　armed　with　the　cordial　he　had　prepared；　Ethel　hunted　up　her
brother；　and　persuaded　him；　after　scolding　her　a　little；　to　swallow
it；　and　take　a　turn　in　the　garden；　after　which　he　made　a　more
successful　attempt　at　visiting　his　father。

There　was　another　room　whither　both　Norman　and　Etheldred　wished　to
go；　though　they　dared　not　hint　at　their　desire。　　At　last　Richard　came
to　them；　as　they　were　wandering　in　the　garden；　and；　with　his　usual
stillness　of　manner；　shaded　with　additional　seriousness；　said；　〃Would
you　like　to　come　into　the　study？〃

Etheldred　put　one　hand　into　his；　Norman　took　the　other；　and　soon　they
stood　in　that　calm　presence。　　Fair；　cold；　white；　and　intensely　still…
…that　face　brought　home　to　them　the　full　certainty　that　the　warm
brightening　look　would　never　beam　on　them；　the　soft　blue　eyes　never
guide；　check；　and　watch　them；　the　smile　never　approve　or　welcome
them。　　To　see　her　unconscious　of　their　presence　was　too　strange　and
sad；　and　all　were　silent；　till；　as　they　left　the　room；　Ethel　looked
out　at　Blanche　and　Aubrey　in　the　garden。　　〃They　will　never　remember
her！　　Oh！　why　should　it　be？〃

Richard　would　fain　have　moralised　and　comforted；　but　she　felt　as　if
she　knew　it　all　before；　and　heard　with　languid　attention。　　She　had
rather　read　than　talk；　and　he　sat　down　to　write　letters。

There　were　no　near　relations　to　be　sent　for。　　Dr。　May　was　an　only
son；　and　his　wife's　sister；　Mrs。　Arnott；　was　in　New　Zealand；　her
brother　had　long　been　dead；　and　his　widow；　who　lived　in　Edinburgh；
was　scarcely　known　to　the　May　family。　　Of　friends　there　were　many；
fast　bound　by　affection　and　gratitude；　and　notes；　inquiries；
condolences；　and　offers　of　service　came　in　thickly；　and　gave　much
occupation　to　Flora；　Richard；　and　Alan　Ernescliffe；　in　turn。　　No　one
from　without　could　do　anything　for　themthey　had　all　the　help　they
wanted　in　Miss　Winter　and　in　Alan；　who　was　invaluable　in　sharing　with
Richard　the　care　of　the　doctor；　as　well　as　in　giving　him　the　benefit
of　his　few　additional　years'　experience；　and　relieving　him　of　some　of
his　tasks。　　He　was　indeed　like　one　of　themselves；　and　a　most　valuable
help　and　comforter。　　Mr。　Wilmot　gave　them　all　the　time　he　could；　and
on　this　day　saw　the　doctor；　who　seemed　to　find　some　solace　in　his
visit；　though　saying　very　little。

On　this　day　the　baby　was　to　be　baptized。　　The　usual　Stoneborough
fashion　was　to　collect　all　the　christenings　for　the　month　into　one
Sunday；　except　those　for　such　persons　as　thought　themselves　too
refined　to　see　their　children　christened　before　the　congregation；　and
who　preferred　an　empty　church　and　a　week…day。　　The　little　one　had
waited　till　she　was　nearly　six　weeks　old　for　〃a　Christening　Sunday；〃
and　since　that　had　been　missed；　she　could　not　be　kept　unbaptized　for
another　month；　so；　late　in　the　day；　she　was　carried　to　church。

Richard　had　extremely　gratified　old　nurse；　by　asking　her　to　represent
poor　Margaret；　Mrs。　Hoxton　stood　for　the　other　godmother；　and　Alan
Ernescliffe　was　desired　to　consider　himself　absolutely　her　sponsor；
not　merely　a　proxy。　　The　younger　children　alone　were　to　go　with　them：
it　was　too　far　off；　and　the　way　lay　too　much　through　the　town　for　it
to　be　thought　proper　for　the　others　to　go。　　Ethel　wished　it　very
much；　and　thought　it　nonsense　to　care　whether　people　looked　at　her；
and　in　spite　of　Miss　Winter's　seeming　shocked　at　her　proposing　it；
had　a　great　mind　to　persist。　　She　would　even　have　appealed　to　her
papa；　if　Flora　had　not　stopped　her；　exclaiming；　〃Real