the daisy chain, or aspirations-第11章

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her　sister's　condition；　and　then　he　dismayed　her　by　saying　he　would
get　up　and　go　to　see　her。　　Much　distressed；　she　begged　him　not　to
think　of　it；　and　appealed　to　Alan；　who　added　his　entreaties　that　he
would　at　least　wait　for　Mr。　Ward；　but　the　doctor　would　not　relinquish
his　purpose；　and　sent　her　to　give　notice　that　he　was　coming。

Mr。　Ernescliffe　followed　her　out　of　the　room；　and　tried　to　console
her；　as　she　looked　at　him　in　despair。

〃You　see　he　is　quite　himself；　quite　collected；〃　he　said；　〃you　heard
now　clear　and　coherent　his　questions　were。〃

〃Can't　it　be　helped？　　Do　try　to　stop　him　till　I　can　send　to　Mr。
Ward。〃

〃I　will　try；　but　I　think　he　is　in　a　state　to　judge　for　himself。
I　do；　upon　my　word；　and　I　believe　trying　to　prevent　him　would　be　more
likely　to　do　him　harm　than　letting　him　satisfy　himself。　　I　really
think　you　need　not　be　alarmed。〃

〃But　you　know；〃　said　Flora；　coming　nearer；　and　almost　gasping　as　she
whispered　and　signed　towards　the　door；　〃she　is　thereit　is　mamma's
room；　that　will　tell　all。〃

〃I　believe　he　knows；〃　said　Alan。　　〃It　was　that　which　made　him　faint
after　the　accident；　for　he　had　his　perceptions　fully　at　first。　　I
have　suspected　all　day　that　he　was　more　himself　than　he　seemed；　but
I　think　he　could　not　bear　to　awaken　his　mind　to　understand　it；　and
that　he　was　afraid　to　hear　about　heryour　sister；　so　that　our
mention　of　her　was　a　great　relief；　and　did　him　good。　　I　am　convinced
he　knows　the　rest。　　Only　go　on；　be　calm；　as　you　have　been；　and　we
shall　do　very　well。〃

Flora　went　to　prepare。　　Ethel　eagerly　undertook　to　send　to　Mr。　Ward；
and　hastened　from　the　room；　as　if　in　a　sort　of　terror；　shrinking
perhaps　from　what　might　lead　to　an　outburst　of　grief。　　She　longed　to
have　seen　her　father；　but　was　frightened　at　the　chance　of　meeting
him。　　When　she　had　sent　her　message；　and　told　her　brothers　what　was
passing；　she　went　and　lingered　on　the　stairs　and　in　the　passage　for
tidings。　　After　what　seemed　a　long　time；　Flora　came　out；　and　hastened
to　the　nursery；　giving　her　intelligence　on　the　way。

〃Better　than　could　be　hoped；　he　walked　alone　into　the　room；　and　was
quite　calm　and　composed。　　Oh！　if　this　will　not　hurt　him；　if　the
seeing　baby　was　but　over！〃

〃Does　he　want　her？〃

〃Yes；　he　would　have　come　up　here　himself；　but　I　would　not　let　him。
Nurse；　do　you　hear？　　Papa　wants　baby；　let　me　have　her。〃

〃Bless　me；　Miss　Flora；　you　can't　hold　her　while　you　are　all　of　a
tremble！　　And　he　has　been　to　Miss　Margaret？〃

〃Yes；　nurse；　and　he　was　only　rather　stiff　and　lame。〃

〃Did　Margaret　seem　to　know　him？〃　said　Ethel。

〃She　just　answered　in　that　dreamy　way　when　he　spoke　to　her。　　He　says
he　thinks　it　is　as　Mr。　Ward　believes；　and　that　she　will　soon　come　to
herself。　　He　is　quite　able　to　consider〃

〃And　he　knows　all？〃

〃I　am　sure　he　does。　　He　desired　to　see　baby；　and　he　wants　you；　nurse。
Only　mind　you　command　yourselfdon't　say　a　word　you　can　helpdo
nothing　to　agitate　him。〃

Nurse　promised；　but　the　tears　came　so　fast；　and　sobs　with　them；　as
she　approached　her　master's　room；　that　Flora　saw　no　composure　could
be　expected　from　her；　and　taking　the　infant　from　her；　carried　it　in；
leaving　the　door　open　for　her　to　follow　when　wanted。　　Ethel　stood　by
listening。　　There　was　silence　at　first；　then　some　sounds　from　the
baby；　and　her　father's　voice　soothing　it；　in　his　wonted　caressing
phrases　and　tones；　so　familiar　that　they　seemed　to　break　the　spell；
drive　away　her　vague　terrors；　and　restore　her　father。　　Her　heart
bounded；　and　a　sudden　impulse　carried　her　to　the　bedside；　at　once
forgetting　all　dread　of　seeing　him；　and　chance　of　doing　him　harm。
He　lay；　holding　the　babe　close　to　him；　and　his　face　was　not　altered；
so　that　there　was　nothing　in　the　sight　to　impress　her　with　the　need
of　caution；　and；　to　the　consternation　of　the　anxious　Flora；　she
exclaimed；　abruptly　and　vehemently；　〃Papa！　should　not　she　be
christened？〃

Dr。　May　looked　up　at　Ethel；　then　at　the　infant；　〃Yes；〃　he　said；　〃at
once。〃　　Then　added　feebly　and　languidly；　〃Some　one　must　see　to　it。〃

There　was　a　pause；　while　Flora　looked　reproachfully　at　her　sister；
and　Ethel　became　conscious　of　her　imprudence；　but　in　a　few　moments
Dr。　May　spoke　again；　first　to　the　baby；　and　then　asking；　〃Is　Richard
here？〃

〃Yes；　papa。〃

〃Send　him　up　presently。　　Where's　nurse？〃

Ethel　retreated；　much　alarmed　at　her　rash　measure；　and　when　she
related　it　she　saw　that　Richard　and　Mr。　Ernescliffe　both　thought　it
had　been　a　great　hazard。

〃Papa　wants　you；〃　　was　a　welcome　sound　to　the　ears　of　Richard；　and
brought　a　pink　glow　into　his　face。　　He　was　never　one　who　readily
showed　his　feelings；　and　there　was　no　danger　of　his　failing　in　self…
command；　though　grievously　downcast；　not　only　at　the　loss　of　the
tender　mother；　who　had　always　stood　between　him　and　his　father's
impatience；　but　by　the　dread　that　he　was　too　dull　and　insignificant
to　afford　any　help　or　comfort　in　his　father's　dire　affliction。

Yet　there　was　something　in　the　gentle　sad　look　that　met　him；　and　in
the　low　tone　of　the　〃How　d'ye　do；　Ritchie？〃　that　drove　off　a　thought
of　not　being　loved；　and　when　Dr。　May　further　added；　You'll　see　about
it　allI　am　glad　you　are　come；〃　he　knew　he　was　of　use；　and　was
encouraged　and　cheered。　　That　his　father　had　full　confidence　and
reliance　in　him；　and　that　his　presence　was　a　satisfaction　and　relief
he　could　no　longer　doubt；　and　this　was　a　drop　of　balm　beyond　all　his
hopes；　for　loving　and　admiring　his　father　intensely；　and　with
depressed　spirits　and　a　low　estimate　of　himself；　he　had　begun　to
fancy　himself　incapable　of　being　anything　but　a　vexation　and　burden。

He　sat　with　his　father　nearly　all　the　evening；　and　was　to　remain　with
him　at　night。　　The　rest　were　comforted　by　the　assurance　that　Dr。　May
was　still　calm；　and　did　not　seem　to　have　been　injured　by　what　had
passed。　　Indeed；　it　seemed　as　if　the　violence　and　suddenness　of　the
shock；　together　with　his　state　of　suffering；　had　deadened　his
sensations；　for　there　was　far　less　agitation　about　him　than　could
have　been　thought　possible　in　a　man　of　such　strong；　warm　affections
and　sensitive　temperament。

Ethel　and　Norman　went　up　arm…in…arm　at　bedtime。

〃I　am　going　to　ask　if　I　may　wish　papa　good…night；〃　said　Ethel。
〃Shall　I　say　anything　about　your　coming？〃

Norman　hesitated；　but　his　cheeks　blanched；　he　shuddered；　shook　his
head　without　speaking；　ran　up　after　Harry；　and　waved　her　back　when
she　would　have　followed。

Richard　told　her　that　she　might　come　in；　and；　as　she　slowly　advanced；
she　thought　she　had　never　seen　anything　so　ineffably　mournful　as　the
affectionate　look　on　her　father's　face。　　She　held　his　hand　and
venturedfor　it　was　with　difficulty　she　spoketo　hope　he　was　not　in
pain。

〃Better　than　it　was；　thank　you；　my　dear；〃　he　said；　in　a　soft　weak
tone：　then；　as　she　bent　down　to　kiss　his　brow；　〃you　must　take　care　of
the　little　ones。〃

〃Yes；　papa；〃　she　could　hardly　answer；　and　a　large　drop　gathered
slowly　in　each　eye；　long　in　coming；　as　if　the　heart　ached　too　much
for　them　to　flow　freely。

〃Are　they　all　well？〃

〃Yes；　papa。〃

〃And　good？〃　　He　held　her　hand；　as　if　lengthening　the　interview。

〃Yes；　very　good　all　day。〃

A　long　deep　sigh。　　Ethel's　two　tears　stood　on　her　cheeks。

〃My　love　to　them　all。　　I　hope　I　shall　see　them　to…morrow。　　God　bless
you；　my　dear；　good…night。〃

Ethel　went　upstairs；　saddened　and　yet　soothed。　　The　calm　silent
sorrow；　too　deep　for　outward　tokens；　was　so　unlike　her　father's
usually　demonstrative　habits；　as　to　impress　her　all　the　more；　yet
those　two　tears　were　followed　by　no　more；　there　was　much　strangeness
and　confusion　in　her　mind　in　the　newness　of　grief。

She　found　poor　Flora；　spent　with　exertion；　under　the　reaction　of　all
she　had　undergone；　lying　on　her　bed；　sobbing　as　if　her　heart　would
break；　calling　in　gasps　of　irrepressible　agony　on　〃mamma！　mamma！〃　yet
with　her　face　pressed　down　on　the　pillow　that　she　might　not　be　heard。
Ethel；　terrified　and　distressed；　timidly　implored　her　to　be
comforted；　but　it　seemed　as　if　she　were　not　even　heard；　she　would
have　fetched　some　one；　but　whom？　　Alas！　alas！　it　brought　back　the
sense　that　no　mother　would　ever　soothe　themMargaret；　papa；　both　so
ill；　nurse　engaged　with　Margaret