some reminiscences-第4章
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the impatience of passionate youth bent on its desire。 I did not
know this myself； and it is safe to say he would not have cared；
though he was an excellent young fellow and treated me with more
deference than； in our relative positions； I was strictly
entitled to。
He lowered a tender gaze on his banjo and I went on looking
through the port…hole。 The round opening framed in its brass rim
a fragment of the quays； with a row of casks ranged on the frozen
ground and the tail…end of a great cart。 A red…nosed carter in a
blouse and a woollen nightcap leaned against the wheel。 An idle；
strolling custom…house guard； belted over his blue capote； had
the air of being depressed by exposure to the weather and the
monotony of official existence。 The background of grimy houses
found a place in the picture framed by my port…hole； across a
wide stretch of paved quay brown with frozen mud。 The colouring
was sombre； and the most conspicuous feature was a little cafe
with curtained windows and a shabby front of white woodwork；
corresponding with the squalor of these poorer quarters bordering
the river。 We had been shifted down there from another berth in
the neighbourhood of the Opera House； where that same port…hole
gave me a view of quite another sort of cafethe best in the
town； I believe； and the very one where the worthy Bovary and his
wife； the romantic daughter of old Pere Renault； had some
refreshment after the memorable performance of an opera which was
the tragic story of Lucia di Lammermoor in a setting of light
music。
I could recall no more the hallucination of the Eastern
Archipelago which I certainly hoped to see again。 The story of
〃Almayer's Folly〃 got put away under the pillow for that day。 I
do not know that I had any occupation to keep me away from it；
the truth of the matter is that on board that ship we were
leading just then a contemplative life。 I will not say anything
of my privileged position。 I was there 〃just to oblige；〃 as an
actor of standing may take a small part in the benefit
performance of a friend。
As far as my feelings were concerned I did not wish to be in that
steamer at that time and in those circumstances。 And perhaps I
was not even wanted there in the usual sense in which a ship
〃wants〃 an officer。 It was the first and last instance in my sea
life when I served ship…owners who have remained completely
shadowy to my apprehension。 I do not mean this for the well…
known firm of London ship…brokers which had chartered the ship to
the； I will not say short…lived； but ephemeral Franco…Canadian
Transport Company。 A death leaves something behind； but there
was never anything tangible left from the F。C。T。C。 It flourished
no longer than roses live； and unlike the roses it blossomed in
the dead of winter； emitted a sort of faint perfume of adventure
and died before spring set in。 But indubitably it was a company；
it had even a house…flag； all white with the letters F。C。T。C。
artfully tangled up in a complicated monogram。 We flew it at our
main…mast head； and now I have come to the conclusion that it was
the only flag of its kind in existence。 All the same we on
board； for many days； had the impression of being a unit of a
large fleet with fortnightly departures for Montreal and Quebec
as advertised in pamphlets and prospectuses which came aboard in
a large package in Victoria Dock； London； just before we started
for Rouen； France。 And in the shadowy life of the F。C。T。C。 lies
the secret of that； my last employment in my calling； which in a
remote sense interrupted the rhythmical development of Nina
Almayer's story。
The then secretary of the London Shipmasters' Society； with its
modest rooms in Fenchurch Street； was a man of indefatigable
activity and the greatest devotion to his task。 He is
responsible for what was my last association with a ship。 I call
it that because it can hardly be called a sea…going experience。
Dear Captain Froudit is impossible not to pay him the tribute
of affectionate familiarity at this distance of yearshad very
sound views as to the advancement of knowledge and status for the
whole body of the officers of the mercantile marine。 He
organised for us courses of professional lectures； St。 John
ambulance classes； corresponded industriously with public bodies
and members of Parliament on subjects touching the interests of
the service； and as to the oncoming of some inquiry or commission
relating to matters of the sea and to the work of seamen； it was
a perfect godsend to his need of exerting himself on our
corporate behalf。 Together with this high sense of his official
duties he had in him a vein of personal kindness； a strong
disposition to do what good he could to the individual members of
that craft of which in his time he had been a very excellent
master。 And what greater kindness can one do to a seaman than to
put him in the way of employment？ Captain Froud did not see why
the Shipmasters' Society； besides its general guardianship of our
interests； should not be unofficially an employment agency of the
very highest class。
〃I am trying to persuade all our great ship…owning firms to come
to us for their men。 There is nothing of a trade…union spirit
about our society； and I really don't see why they should not；〃
he said once to me。 〃I am always telling the captains； too； that
all things being equal they ought to give preference to the
members of the society。 In my position I can generally find for
them what they want amongst our members or our associate
members。〃
In my wanderings about London from West to East and back again （I
was very idle then） the two little rooms in Fenchurch Street were
a sort of resting…place where my spirit； hankering after the sea；
could feel itself nearer to the ships； the men； and the life of
its choicenearer there than on any other spot of the solid
earth。 This resting…place used to be； at about five o'clock in
the afternoon； full of men and tobacco smoke； but Captain Froud
had the smaller room to himself and there he granted private
interviews； whose principal motive was to render service。 Thus；
one murky November afternoon he beckoned me in with a crooked
finger and that peculiar glance above his spectacles which is
perhaps my strongest physical recollection of the man。
〃I have had in here a shipmaster； this morning；〃 he said； getting
back to his desk and motioning me to a chair； 〃who is in want of
an officer。 It's for a steamship。 You know； nothing pleases me
more than to be asked； but unfortunately I do not quite see my
way。 。 。〃
As the outer room was full of men I cast a wondering glance at
the closed door but he shook his head。
〃Oh； yes； I should be only too glad to get that berth for one of
them。 But the fact of the matter is； the captain of that ship
wants an officer who can speak French fluently； and that's not so
easy to find。 I do not know anybody myself but you。 It's a
second officer's berth and； of course； you would not care。 。 。
would you now？ I know that it isn't what you are looking for。〃
It was not。 I had given myself up to the idleness of a haunted
man who looks for nothing but words wherein to capture his
visions。 But I admit that outwardly I resembled sufficiently a
man who could make a second officer for a steamer chartered by a
French company。 I showed no sign of being haunted by the fate of
