flatland-第6章

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ntence　is　abbreviated　to；　〃Let　me　ask　you　to　feel　Mr。　So…and…so〃；　although　it　is　assumed；　of　course；　that　the　〃feeling〃　is　to　be　reciprocal。　Among　our　still　more　modern　and　dashing　young　gentlemen　　who　are　extremely　averse　to　superfluous　effort　and　supremely　indifferent　to　the　purity　of　their　native　language　　the　formula　is　still　further　curtailed　by　the　use　of　〃to　feel〃　in　a　technical　sense；　meaning；　〃to　recommend…for…the…purposes…of…feeling…and…being…felt〃；　and　at　this　moment　the　〃slang〃　of　polite　or　fast　society　in　the　upper　classes　sanctions　such　a　barbarism　as　〃Mr。　Smith；　permit　me　to　feel　Mr。　Jones。〃

Let　not　my　Reader　however　suppose　that　〃feeling〃　is　with　us　the　tedious　process　that　it　would　be　with　you；　or　that　we　find　it　necessary　to　feel　right　round　all　the　sides　of　every　individual　before　we　determine　the　class　to　which　he　belongs。　　Long　practice　and　training；　begun　in　the　schools　and　continued　in　the　experience　of　daily　life；　enable　us　to　discriminate　at　once　by　the　sense　of　touch；　between　the　angles　of　an　equal…sided　Triangle；　Square；　and　Pentagon；　and　I　need　not　say　that　the　brainless　vertex　of　an　acute…angled　Isosceles　is　obvious　to　the　dullest　touch。　It　is　therefore　not　necessary；　as　a　rule；　to　do　more　than　feel　a　single　angle　of　an　individual；　and　this；　once　ascertained；　tells　us　the　class　of　the　person　whom　we　are　addressing；　unless　indeed　he　belongs　to　the　higher　sections　of　the　nobility。　There　the　difficulty　is　much　greater。　　Even　a　Master　of　Arts　in　our　University　of　Wentbridge　has　been　known　to　confuse　a　ten…sided　with　a　twelve…sided　Polygon；　and　there　is　hardly　a　Doctor　of　Science　in　or　out　of　that　famous　University　who　could　pretend　to　decide　promptly　and　unhesitatingly　between　a　twenty…sided　and　a　twenty…four　sided　member　of　the　Aristocracy。

Those　of　my　readers　who　recall　the　extracts　I　gave　above　from　the　Legislative　code　concerning　Women；　will　readily　perceive　that　the　process　of　introduction　by　contact　requires　some　care　and　discretion。　　Otherwise　the　angles　might　inflict　on　the　unwary　Feeler　irreparable　injury。　　It　is　essential　for　the　safety　of　the　Feeler　that　the　Felt　should　stand　perfectly　still。　　A　start；　a　fidgety　shifting　of　the　position；　yes；　even　a　violent　sneeze；　has　been　known　before　now　to　prove　fatal　to　the　incautious；　and　to　nip　in　the　bud　many　a　promising　friendship。　Especially　is　this　true　among　the　lower　classes　of　the　Triangles。　With　them；　the　eye　is　situated　so　far　from　their　vertex　that　they　can　scarcely　take　cognizance　of　what　goes　on　at　that　extremity　of　their　frame。　　They　are；　moreover；　of　a　rough　coarse　nature；　not　sensitive　to　the　delicate　touch　of　the　highly　organized　Polygon。　What　wonder　then　if　an　involuntary　toss　of　the　head　has　ere　now　deprived　the　State　of　a　valuable　life！

I　have　heard　that　my　excellent　Grandfather　　one　of　the　least　irregular　of　his　unhappy　Isosceles　class；　who　indeed　obtained；　shortly　before　his　decease；　four　out　of　seven　votes　from　the　Sanitary　and　Social　Board　for　passing　him　into　the　class　of　the　Equal…sided　　often　deplored；　with　a　tear　in　his　venerable　eye；　a　miscarriage　of　this　kind；　which　had　occured　to　his　great…great…great…Grandfather；　a　respectable　Working　Man　with　an　angle　or　brain　of　59　degrees　30　minutes。　　According　to　his　account；　my　unfortunate　Ancestor；　being　afflicted　with　rheumatism；　and　in　the　act　of　being　felt　by　a　Polygon；　by　one　sudden　start　accidentally　transfixed　the　Great　Man　through　the　diagonal；　and　thereby；　partly　in　consequence　of　his　long　imprisonment　and　degradation；　and　partly　because　of　the　moral　shock　which　pervaded　the　whole　of　my　Ancestor's　relations；　threw　back　our　family　a　degree　and　a　half　in　their　ascent　towards　better　things。　　The　result　was　that　in　the　next　generation　the　family　brain　was　registered　at　only　58　degrees；　and　not　till　the　lapse　of　five　generations　was　the　lost　ground　recovered；　the　full　60　degrees　attained；　and　the　Ascent　from　the　Isosceles　finally　achieved。　　And　all　this　series　of　calamities　from　one　little　accident　in　the　process　of　Feeling。

At　this　point　I　think　I　hear　some　of　my　better　educated　readers　exclaim；　〃How　could　you　in　Flatland　know　anything　about　angles　and　degrees；　or　minutes？　　We　can　SEE　an　angle；　because　we；　in　the　region　of　Space；　can　see　two　straight　lines　inclined　to　one　another；　but　you；　who　can　see　nothing　but　one　straight　line　at　a　time；　or　at　all　events　only　a　number　of　bits　of　straight　lines　all　in　one　straight　line　　how　can　you　ever　discern　any　angle；　and　much　less　register　angles　of　different　sizes？〃

I　answer　that　though　we　cannot　SEE　angles；　we　can　INFER　them；　and　this　with　great　precision。　　Our　sense　of　touch；　stimulated　by　necessity；　and　developed　by　long　training；　enables　us　to　distinguish　angles　far　more　accurately　than　your　sense　of　sight；　when　unaided　by　a　rule　or　measure　of　angles。　Nor　must　I　omit　to　explain　that　we　have　great　natural　helps。　It　is　with　us　a　Law　of　Nature　that　the　brain　of　the　Isosceles　class　shall　begin　at　half　a　degree；　or　thirty　minutes；　and　shall　increase　（if　it　increases　at　all）　by　half　a　degree　in　every　generation；　until　the　goal　of　60　degrees　is　reached；　when　the　condition　of　serfdom　is　quitted；　and　the　freeman　enters　the　class　of　Regulars。

Consequently；　Nature　herself　supplies　us　with　an　ascending　scale　or　Alphabet　of　angles　for　half　a　degree　up　to　60　degrees；　Specimens　of　which　are　placed　in　every　Elementary　School　throughout　the　land。　　Owing　to　occasional　retrogressions；　to　still　more　frequent　moral　and　intellectual　stagnation；　and　to　the　extraordinary　fecundity　of　the　Criminal　and　Vagabond　Classes；　there　is　always　a　vast　superfluity　of　individuals　of　the　half　degree　and　single　degree　class；　and　a　fair　abundance　of　Specimens　up　to　10　degrees。　　These　are　absolutely　destitute　of　civic　rights；　and　a　great　number　of　them；　not　having　even　intelligence　enough　for　the　purposes　of　warfare；　are　devoted　by　the　States　to　the　service　of　education。　　Fettered　immovably　so　as　to　remove　all　possibility　of　danger；　they　are　placed　in　the　class　rooms　of　our　Infant　Schools；　and　there　they　are　utilized　by　the　Board　of　Education　for　the　purpose　of　imparting　to　the　offspring　of　the　Middle　Classes　that　tact　and　intelligence　of　which　these　wretched　creatures　themselves　are　utterly　devoid。

In　some　States　the　Specimens　are　occasionally　fed　and　suffered　to　exist　for　several　years；　but　in　the　more　temperate　and　better　regulated　regions；　it　is　found　in　the　long　run　more　advantageous　for　the　educational　interests　of　the　young；　to　dispense　with　food；　and　to　renew　the　Specimens　every　month　　which　is　about　the　average　duration　of　the　foodless　existence　of　the　Criminal　class。　　In　the　cheaper　schools；　what　is　gained　by　the　longer　existence　of　the　Specimen　is　lost；　partly　in　the　expenditure　for　food；　and　partly　in　the　diminished　accuracy　of　the　angles；　which　are　impaired　after　a　few　weeks　of　constant　〃feeling〃。　　Nor　must　we　forget　to　add；　in　enumerating　the　advantages　of　the　more　expensive　system；　that　it　tends；　though　slightly　yet　perceptibly；　to　the　diminution　of　the　redundant　Isosceles　population　　an　object　which　every　statesman　in　Flatland　constantly　keeps　in　view。　　On　the　whole　therefore　　although　I　am　not　ignorant　that；　in　many　popularly　elected　School　Boards；　there　is　a　reaction　in　favour　of　〃the　cheap　system〃　as　it　is　called　　I　am　myself　disposed　to　think　that　this　is　one　of　the　many　cases　in　which　expense　is　the　truest　economy。

But　I　must　not　allow　questions　of　School　Board　politics　to　divert　me　from　my　subject。　　Enough　has　been　said；　I　trust；　to　shew　that　Recognition　by　Feeling　is　not　so　tedious　or　indecisive　a　process　as　might　have　been　supposed；　and　it　is　obviously　more　trustworthy　than　Recognition　by　hearing。　　Still　there　remains；　as　has　been　pointed　out　above；　the　objection　that　this　method　is　not　without　danger。　　For　this　reason　many　in　the　Middle　and　Lower　classes；　and　all　without　exception　in　the　Polygonal　and　Circular　orders；　prefer　a　third　method；　the　description　of　which　shall　be　reserved　for　the　next　section。




Section　6。　　Of　Recognition　by　Sight



I　am　about　to　appear　very　inconsistent。　　In　previous　sections　I　have　said　that　all　figures　in　Flatland　present　the　appearance　of　a　straight　line；　and　it　was　added　or　implied；　that