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ruffian察who told us  to  take   the   turning  to  the   right  instead   of  to 

the   left。   He   is   the   most   intolerable   scoundrel   on   the   face   of   the 

earth。 His father must have been a most consummate villain察ever 

to have had such a son。 I would have that fellow shot without the 

least remorse 院

    ^Did he do it on purpose拭院Mr Jarndyce inquired。 

    ^I have not the slightest doubt that the scoundrel has passed his 

whole   existence   in   misdirecting   travellers 院  returned            the  other。 

^By     my   soul察  I  thought    him    the  worst´looking       dog   I  had   ever 

beheld察  when   he   was   telling  me   to   take   the   turning  to   the   right。 

And yet I stood before that fellow face to face察and didn¨t knock his 



Charles Dickens                                                       ElecBook Classics 


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                                  Bleak House                                    165 



brains out 院

    ^Teeth you mean拭院said Mr Jarndyce。 

    ^Ha察  ha察  ha 院  laughed   Mr   Lawrence   Boythorn察  really   making 

the whole house vibrate。 ^What察you have not forgotten it yet Ha察

ha察  ha And   that   was   another   most   consummate   vagabond   By 

my soul察the countenance of that fellow察when he was a boy察was 

the blackest image of perfidy察  cowardice察and   cruelty  ever  set  up 

as a scarecrow in a field of scoundrels。 If I were to meet that most 

unparalleled despot in the streets tomorrow察I would fell him like a 

rotten tree 院

    ^I have no doubt of it察院said Mr Jarndyce。 ^Now察will you come 

upstairs拭院

    ^By   my   soul察  Jarndyce察院    returned   his    guest察  who   seemed     to 

refer to his watch察 if you had been married察I would have turned 

back at the garden gate察and gone away to the remotest summits of 

the    Himalaya     Mountains察     sooner    than   I  would    have   presented 

myself at this unseasonable hour。 ̄ 

    ^Not quite so far察I hope拭院said Mr Jarndyce。 

    ^By my life and honour察yes 院cried the   visitor。   ^I   wouldn¨t  be 

guilty   of   the   audacious   insolence   of   keeping   a   lady   of   the   house 

waiting     all  this   time察  for  any    earthly   consideration。      I  would 

infinitely rather destroy myself!infinitely rather 院

    Talking thus察they went upstairs察and presently we heard him in 

his   bedroom   thundering   ^Ha察  ha察  ha 院  and   again察   Ha察  ha察  ha 院

until   the  flattest  echo  in   the neighbourhood   seemed   to   catch   the 

contagion察and to laugh as enjoyingly as he did察or as we did when 

we heard him laugh。 

   We all conceived a prepossession in his favour察for there was a 

sterling quality in his laugh察and in his vigorous healthy voice察and 



Charles Dickens                                                     ElecBook Classics 


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                                   Bleak House                                    166 



in the roundness and fulness with which he uttered every word he 

spoke察and in the very fury of his superlatives察which seemed to go 

off   like  blank    cannons     and   hurt   nothing。    But    we   were    hardly 

prepared   to   have   it   so   confirmed   by   his   appearance察      when    Mr 

Jarndyce   presented   him。   He   was   not   only   a   very   handsome   old 

gentleman!upright and stalwart as he had been described to us! 

with a massive grey head察a fine composure of face when silent察a 

figure    that   might    have   become     corpulent     but   for  his  being    so 

continually in earnest that he gave it no rest察and a chin that might 

have subsided into a double chin but for the vehement  emphasis 

in   which   it   was   constantly   required   to   assist察  but   he   was   such   a 

true gentleman in his manner察so chivalrously polite察his face was 

lighted   by   a   smile   of   so   much   sweetness   and   tenderness察  and   it 

seemed so plain that he had nothing to hide察but showed himself 

exactly   as   he   was!incapable   as   Richard   said   of   anything   on   a 

limited scale察and firing away with those blank great guns察because 

he   carried   no   small   arms   whatever!that   really   I   could   not   help 

looking at him with equal pleasure as he sat at dinner察whether he 

smilingly conversed with Ada and me察or was led by Mr Jarndyce 

into some great volley of superlatives察or threw up his head like a 

bloodhound察and gave out that tremendous Ha察ha察ha 

    ^You   have   brought   your   bird   with   you察  I   suppose拭院  said   Mr 

Jarndyce。 

    ^By Heaven察he is the most astonishing bird in Europe 院replied 

the other。 ^He is the most wonderful creature I wouldn¨t take ten 

thousand guineas for that bird。 I have left an annuity for his sole 

support察     in  case   he   should     outlive   me。    He   is察 in  sense    and 

attachment察a phenomenon。 And his father before him was one of 

the most astonishing birds that ever lived 院



Charles Dickens                                                     ElecBook Classics 


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                                   Bleak House                                    167 



    The subject of this laudation was a very little canary察who was 

so tame that he was brought down by Mr Boythorn¨s man察on his 

forefinger察    and察   after  taking    a   gentle   flight   round    the   room察

alighted     on   his   master¨s   head。   To   hear   Mr   Boythorn      presently 

expressing   the   most   implacable   and   passionate   sentiments   with 

this fragile mite of a creature quietly perched on his forehead察was 

to have a good illustration of his character察I thought。 

    ^By my soul察Jarndyce察院he said察very gently holding up a bit of 

bread   to  the   canary  to  peck   at察   if   I   were   in   your   place察  I   would 

seize every Master in Chancery by the throat tomorrow morning察

and shake him until   his money  rolled   out  of  his   pockets察 and   his 

bones     rattled    in  his   skin。  I  would     have    a  settlement     out   of 

somebody察by fair means or by foul。 If you would empower me to 

do it察I would do it for you with the greatest satisfaction 院。All this 

time   the   very  small   canary  was   eating  out  of  his   hand。   ^I   thank 

you察Lawrence察but the suit is hardly at such a point at present察院

returned       Mr   Jarndyce察     laughing察     that    it  would     be   greatly 

advanced察even by the legal process of shaking the Bench and the 

whole Bar。 ̄ 

    ^There never was such an infernal cauldron as that Chancery察

on the face of the earth 院said Mr Boythorn。 ^Nothing but a mine 

below it on a busy day in term time察with all its records察rules察and 

precedents   collected   in   it察  and   every   functionary   belonging   to   it 

also察   high   and   low察  upward      and   downward察      from    its  son   the 

Accountant´General to its father the Devil察and the whole blown to 

atoms   with   ten   thousand   hundred´weight   of   gunpowder察  would 

reform it in the least 院

    It   was   impossible   not   to   laugh   at   the  energetic    gravity   with 

which he recommended this strong measure of reform。 When we 



Charles Dickens                                                     ElecBook Classics 


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                                   Bleak House                                    168 



laughed察  he   threw   up   his   head察  and   shook   his   broad   chest察  and 

again the whole country seemed to echo to his ha察  ha察  ha  It  had 

not the least effect in disturbing the bird察whose sense of security 

was complete察and who hopped about the table with its quick head 

now on this side and now on that察turning its bright sudden eye on 

its master察as if he were no more than another bird。 

    ^But ho

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