confessions of an english opium-eater-第4章

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dence　my　guide；〃　I　set　off　on　foot；　carrying　a　small　parcel　with　some　articles　of　dress　under　my　arm；　a　favourite　English　poet　in　one　pocket；　and　a　small　12mo　volume；　containing　about　nine　plays　of　Euripides；　in　the　other。

It　had　been　my　intention　originally　to　proceed　to　Westmoreland；　both　from　the　love　I　bore　to　that　country　and　on　other　personal　accounts。　Accident；　however；　gave　a　different　direction　to　my　wanderings；　and　I　bent　my　steps　towards　North　Wales。

After　wandering　about　for　some　time　in　Denbighshire；　Merionethshire；　and　Carnarvonshire；　I　took　lodgings　in　a　small　neat　house　in　B…。　Here　I　might　have　stayed　with　great　comfort　for　many　weeks；　for　provisions　were　cheap　at　B…；　from　the　scarcity　of　other　markets　for　the　surplus　produce　of　a　wide　agricultural　district。　　An　accident；　however；　in　which　perhaps　no　offence　was　designed；　drove　me　out　to　wander　again。　　I　know　not　whether　my　reader　may　have　remarked；　but　I　have　often　remarked；　that　the　proudest　class　of　people　in　England　（or　at　any　rate　the　class　whose　pride　is　most　apparent）　are　the　families　of　bishops。　　Noblemen　and　their　children　carry　about　with　them；　in　their　very　titles；　a　sufficient　notification　of　their　rank。　Nay；　their　very　names　（and　this　applies　also　to　the　children　of　many　untitled　houses）　are　often；　to　the　English　ear；　adequate　exponents　of　high　birth　or　descent。　　Sackville；　Manners；　Fitzroy；　Paulet；　Cavendish；　and　scores　of　others；　tell　their　own　tale。　　Such　persons；　therefore；　find　everywhere　a　due　sense　of　their　claims　already　established；　except　among　those　who　are　ignorant　of　the　world　by　virtue　of　their　own　obscurity：　　〃Not　to　know　THEM；　argues　one's　self　unknown。〃　　Their　manners　take　a　suitable　tone　and　colouring；　and　for　once　they　find　it　necessary　to　impress　a　sense　of　their　consequence　upon　others；　they　meet　with　a　thousand　occasions　for　moderating　and　tempering　this　sense　by　acts　of　courteous　condescension。　　With　the　families　of　bishops　it　is　otherwise：　　with　them；　it　is　all　uphill　work　to　make　known　their　pretensions；　for　the　proportion　of　the　episcopal　bench　taken　from　noble　families　is　not　at　any　time　very　large；　and　the　succession　to　these　dignities　is　so　rapid　that　the　public　ear　seldom　has　time　to　become　familiar　with　them；　unless　where　they　are　connected　with　some　literary　reputation。　　Hence　it　is　that　the　children　of　bishops　carry　about　with　them　an　austere　and　repulsive　air；　indicative　of　claims　not　generally　acknowledged；　a　sort　of　noli　me　tangere　manner；　nervously　apprehensive　of　too　familiar　approach；　and　shrinking　with　the　sensitiveness　of　a　gouty　man　from　all　contact　with　the　＇Greek　text＇。　　Doubtless；　a　powerful　understanding；　or　unusual　goodness　of　nature；　will　preserve　a　man　from　such　weakness；　but　in　general　the　truth　of　my　representation　will　be　acknowledged；　pride；　if　not　of　deeper　root　in　such　families；　appears　at　least　more　upon　the　surface　of　their　manners。　　This　spirit　of　manners　naturally　communicates　itself　to　their　domestics　and　other　dependants。　　Now；　my　landlady　had　been　a　lady's　maid　or　a　nurse　in　the　family　of　the　Bishop　of　…；　and　had　but　lately　married　away　and　〃settled〃　（as　such　people　express　it）　for　life。　　In　a　little　town　like　B…；　merely　to　have　lived　in　the　bishop's　family　conferred　some　distinction；　and　my　good　landlady　had　rather　more　than　her　share　of　the　pride　I　have　noticed　on　that　score。　　What　〃my　lord〃　said　and　what　〃my　lord〃　did；　how　useful　he　was　in　Parliament　and　how　indispensable　at　Oxford；　formed　the　daily　burden　of　her　talk。　　All　this　I　bore　very　well；　for　I　was　too　good…natured　to　laugh　in　anybody's　face；　and　I　could　make　an　ample　allowance　for　the　garrulity　of　an　old　servant。　　Of　necessity；　however；　I　must　have　appeared　in　her　eyes　very　inadequately　impressed　with　the　bishop's　importance；　and；　perhaps　to　punish　me　for　my　indifference；　or　possibly　by　accident；　she　one　day　repeated　to　me　a　conversation　in　which　I　was　indirectly　a　party　concerned。　　She　had　been　to　the　palace　to　pay　her　respects　to　the　family；　and；　dinner　being　over；　was　summoned　into　the　dining…room。　　In　giving　an　account　of　her　household　economy　she　happened　to　mention　that　she　had　let　her　apartments。　　Thereupon　the　good　bishop　（it　seemed）　had　taken　occasion　to　caution　her　as　to　her　selection　of　inmates；　〃for；〃　said　he；　〃you　must　recollect；　Betty；　that　this　place　is　in　the　high　road　to　the　Head；　so　that　multitudes　of　Irish　swindlers　running　away　from　their　debts　into　England；　and　of　English　swindlers　running　away　from　their　debts　to　the　Isle　of　Man；　are　likely　to　take　this　place　in　their　route。〃　　This　advice　certainly　was　not　without　reasonable　grounds；　but　rather　fitted　to　be　stored　up　for　Mrs。　Betty's　private　meditations　than　specially　reported　to　me。　　What　followed；　however；　was　somewhat　worse。　　〃Oh；　my　lord；〃　answered　my　landlady　（according　to　her　own　representation　of　the　matter）；　〃I　really　don't　think　this　young　gentleman　is　a　swindler；　because〃　　〃You　don't　THINK　me　a　swindler？〃　said　I；　interrupting　her；　in　a　tumult　of　indignation：　〃for　the　future　I　shall　spare　you　the　trouble　of　thinking　about　it。〃　And　without　delay　I　prepared　for　my　departure。　　Some　concessions　the　good　woman　seemed　disposed　to　make；　but　a　harsh　and　contemptuous　expression；　which　I　fear　that　I　applied　to　the　learned　dignitary　himself；　roused　her　indignation　in　turn；　and　reconciliation　then　became　impossible。　　I　was　indeed　greatly　irritated　at　the　bishop's　having　suggested　any　grounds　of　suspicion；　however　remotely；　against　a　person　whom　he　had　never　seen；　and　I　thought　of　letting　him　know　my　mind　in　Greek；　which；　at　the　same　time　that　it　would　furnish　some　presumption　that　I　was　no　swindler；　would　also　（I　hoped）　compel　the　bishop　to　reply　in　the　same　language；　in　which　case　I　doubted　not　to　make　it　appear　that　if　I　was　not　so　rich　as　his　lordship；　I　was　a　far　better　Grecian。　　Calmer　thoughts；　however；　drove　this　boyish　design　out　of　my　mind；　for　I　considered　that　the　bishop　was　in　the　right　to　counsel　an　old　servant；　that　he　could　not　have　designed　that　his　advice　should　be　reported　to　me；　and　that　the　same　coarseness　of　mind　which　had　led　Mrs。　Betty　to　repeat　the　advice　at　all；　might　have　coloured　it　in　a　way　more　agreeable　to　her　own　style　of　thinking　than　to　the　actual　expressions　of　the　worthy　bishop。

I　left　the　lodgings　the　very　same　hour；　and　this　turned　out　a　very　unfortunate　occurrence　for　me；　because；　living　henceforward　at　inns；　I　was　drained　of　my　money　very　rapidly。　　In　a　fortnight　I　was　reduced　to　short　allowance；　that　is；　I　could　allow　myself　only　one　meal　a　day。　　From　the　keen　appetite　produced　by　constant　exercise　and　mountain　air；　acting　on　a　youthful　stomach；　I　soon　began　to　suffer　greatly　on　this　slender　regimen；　for　the　single　meal　which　I　could　venture　to　order　was　coffee　or　tea。　　Even　this；　however；　was　at　length　withdrawn；　and　afterwards；　so　long　as　I　remained　in　Wales；　I　subsisted　either　on　blackberries；　hips；　haws；　&c。；　or　on　the　casual　hospitalities　which　I　now　and　then　received　in　return　for　such　little　services　as　I　had　an　opportunity　of　rendering。　Sometimes　I　wrote　letters　of　business　for　cottagers　who　happened　to　have　relatives　in　Liverpool　or　in　London；　more　often　I　wrote　love…　letters　to　their　sweethearts　for　young　women　who　had　lived　as　servants　at　Shrewsbury　or　other　towns　on　the　English　border。　　On　all　such　occasions　I　gave　great　satisfaction　to　my　humble　friends；　and　was　generally　treated　with　hospitality；　and　once　in　particular；　near　the　village　of　Llan…y…styndw　（or　some　such　name）；　in　a　sequestered　part　of　Merionethshire；　I　was　entertained　for　upwards　of　three　days　by　a　family　of　young　people　with　an　affectionate　and　fraternal　kindness　that　left　an　impression　upon　my　heart　not　yet　impaired。　The　family　consisted　at　that　time　of　four　sisters　and　three　brothers；　all　grown　up；　and　all　remarkable　for　elegance　and　delicacy　of　manners。　　So　much　beauty；　and　so　much　native　good　breeding　and　refinement；　I　do　not　remember　to　have　seen　before　or　since　in　any　cottage；　except　once　or　twice　in　Westmoreland　and　Devonshire。　　They　spoke　English；　an　accomplishment　not　often　met　with　in　so　many　members　of　one　family；　especially　in　villages　remote　from　the　high　road。　　Here　I　wrote；　on　my　first　introduction；　a　letter　about　prize…　mo