dead souls(死魂灵)-第89章

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ccupation。〃

〃Athanasi　Vassilievitch；　I　have　tried　to　overcome　myself；　but　what　further　resource　lies　open　to　me？　Can　I　who　am　old　and　incapable　re…enter　the　Civil　Service　and　spend　year　after　year　at　a　desk　with　youths　who　are　just　starting　their　careers？　Moreover；　I　have　lost　the　trick　of　taking　bribes；　I　should　only　hinder　both　myself　and　others；　while；　as　you　know；　it　is　a　department　which　has　an　established　caste　of　its　own。　Therefore；　though　I　have　considered；　and　even　attempted　to　obtain；　every　conceivable　post；　I　find　myself　incompetent　for　them　all。　Only　in　a　monastery　should　I〃

〃Nay；　nay。　Monasteries；　again；　are　only　for　those　who　have　worked。　To　those　who　have　spent　their　youth　in　dissipation　such　havens　say　what　the　ant　said　to　the　dragonflynamely；　'Go　you　away；　and　return　to　your　dancing。'　Yes；　even　in　a　monastery　do　folk　toil　and　toilthey　do　not　sit　playing　whist。〃　Murazov　looked　at　Khlobuev；　and　added：　〃Semen　Semenovitch；　you　are　deceiving　both　yourself　and　me。〃

Poor　Khlobuev　could　not　utter　a　word　in　reply；　and　Murazov　began　to　feel　sorry　for　him。

〃Listen；　Semen　Semenovitch；〃　he　went　on。　〃I　know　that　you　say　your　prayers；　and　that　you　go　to　church；　and　that　you　observe　both　Matins　and　Vespers；　and　that；　though　averse　to　early　rising；　you　leave　your　bed　at　four　o'clock　in　the　morning　before　the　household　fires　have　been　lit。〃

〃Ah；　Athanasi　Vassilievitch；〃　said　Khlobuev；　〃that　is　another　matter　altogether。　That　I　do；　not　for　man's　sake；　but　for　the　sake　of　Him　who　has　ordered　all　things　here　on　earth。　Yes；　I　believe　that　He　at　least　can　feel　compassion　for　me；　that　He　at　least；　though　I　be　foul　and　lowly；　will　pardon　me　and　receive　me　when　all　men　have　cast　me　out；　and　my　best　friend　has　betrayed　me　and　boasted　that　he　has　done　it　for　a　good　end。〃

Khlobuev's　face　was　glowing　with　emotion；　and　from　the　older　man's　eyes　also　a　tear　had　started。

〃You　will　do　well　to　hearken　unto　Him　who　is　merciful；〃　he　said。　〃But　remember　also　that；　in　the　eyes　of　the　All…Merciful；　honest　toil　is　of　equal　merit　with　a　prayer。　Therefore　take　unto　yourself　whatsoever　task　you　may；　and　do　it　as　though　you　were　doing　it；　not　unto　man；　but　unto　God。　Even　though　to　your　lot　there　should　fall　but　the　cleaning　of　a　floor；　clean　that　floor　as　though　it　were　being　cleaned　for　Him　alone。　And　thence　at　least　this　good　you　will　reap：　that　there　will　remain　to　you　no　time　for　what　is　evilfor　card　playing；　for　feasting；　for　all　the　life　of　this　gay　world。　Are　you　acquainted　with　Ivan　Potapitch？〃

〃Yes；　not　only　am　I　acquainted　with　him；　but　I　also　greatly　respect　him。〃

〃Time　was　when　Ivan　Potapitch　was　a　merchant　worth　half　a　million　roubles。　In　everything　did　he　look　but　for　gain；　and　his　affairs　prospered　exceedingly；　so　much　so　that　he　was　able　to　send　his　son　to　be　educated　in　France；　and　to　marry　his　daughter　to　a　General。　And　whether　in　his　office　or　at　the　Exchange；　he　would　stop　any　friend　whom　he　encountered　and　carry　him　off　to　a　tavern　to　drink；　and　spend　whole　days　thus　employed。　But　at　last　he　became　bankrupt；　and　God　sent　him　other　misfortunes　also。　His　son！　Ah；　well！　Ivan　Potapitch　is　now　my　steward；　for　he　had　to　begin　life　over　again。　Yet　once　more　his　affairs　are　in　order；　and；　had　it　been　his　wish；　he　could　have　restarted　in　business　with　a　capital　of　half　a　million　roubles。　'But　no；'　he　said。　'A　steward　am　I；　and　a　steward　will　I　remain　to　the　end；　for；　from　being　full…stomached　and　heavy　with　dropsy；　I　have　become　strong　and　well。'　Not　a　drop　of　liquor　passes　his　lips；　but　only　cabbage　soup　and　gruel。　And　he　prays　as　none　of　the　rest　of　us　pray；　and　he　helps　the　poor　as　none　of　the　rest　of　us　help　them；　and　to　this　he　would　add　yet　further　charity　if　his　means　permitted　him　to　do　so。〃

Poor　Khlobuev　remained　silent；　as　before。

The　elder　man　took　his　two　hands　in　his。

〃Semen　Semenovitch；〃　he　said；　〃you　cannot　think　how　much　I　pity　you；　or　how　much　I　have　had　you　in　my　thoughts。　Listen　to　me。　In　the　monastery　there　is　a　recluse　who　never　looks　upon　a　human　face。　Of　all　men　whom　I　know　he　has　the　broadest　mind；　and　he　breaks　not　his　silence　save　to　give　advice。　To　him　I　went　and　said　that　I　had　a　friend　（though　I　did　not　actually　mention　your　name）　who　was　in　great　trouble　of　soul。　Suddenly　the　recluse　interrupted　me　with　the　words：　'God's　work　first；　and　our　own　last。　There　is　need　for　a　church　to　be　built；　but　no　money　wherewith　to　build　it。　Money　must　be　collected　to　that　end。'　Then　he　shut　to　the　wicket。　I　wondered　to　myself　what　this　could　mean；　and　concluded　that　the　recluse　had　been　unwilling　to　accord　me　his　counsel。　Next　I　repaired　to　the　Archimandrite；　and　had　scarce　reached　his　door　when　he　inquired　of　me　whether　I　could　commend　to　him　a　man　meet　to　be　entrusted　with　the　collection　of　alms　for　a　churcha　man　who　should　belong　to　the　dvoriane　or　to　the　more　lettered　merchants；　but　who　would　guard　the　trust　as　he　would　guard　the　salvation　of　his　soul。　On　the　instant　thought　I　to　myself：　'Why　should　not　the　Holy　Father　appoint　my　friend　Semen　Semenovitch？　For　the　way　of　suffering　would　benefit　him　greatly；　and　as　he　passed　with　his　ledger　from　landowner　to　peasant；　and　from　peasant　to　townsman；　he　would　learn　where　folk　dwell；　and　who　stands　in　need　of　aught；　and　thus　would　become　better　acquainted　with　the　countryside　than　folk　who　dwell　in　cities。　And；　thus　become；　he　would　find　that　his　services　were　always　in　demand。'　Only　of　late　did　the　Governor…General　say　to　me　that；　could　he　but　be　furnished　with　the　name　of　a　secretary　who　should　know　his　work　not　only　by　the　book　but　also　by　experience；　he　would　give　him　a　great　sum；　since　nothing　is　to　be　learned　by　the　former　means；　and；　through　it；　much　confusion　arises。〃

〃You　confound　me；　you　overwhelm　me！〃　said　Khlobuev；　staring　at　his　companion　in　open…eyed　astonishment。　〃I　can　scarcely　believe　that　your　words　are　true；　seeing　that　for　such　a　trust　an　active；　indefatigable　man　would　be　necessary。　Moreover；　how　could　I　leave　my　wife　and　children　unprovided　for？〃

〃Have　no　fear；〃　said　Murazov；　〃I　myself　will　take　them　under　my　care；　as　well　as　procure　for　the　children　a　tutor。　Far　better　and　nobler　were　it　for　you　to　be　travelling　with　a　wallet；　and　asking　alms　on　behalf　of　God；　then　to　be　remaining　here　and　asking　alms　for　yourself　alone。　Likewise；　I　will　furnish　you　with　a　tilt…waggon；　so　that　you　may　be　saved　some　of　the　hardships　of　the　journey；　and　thus　be　preserved　in　good　health。　Also；　I　will　give　you　some　money　for　the　journey；　in　order　that；　as　you　pass　on　your　way；　you　may　give　to　those　who　stand　in　greater　need　than　their　fellows。　Thus；　if；　before　giving；　you　assure　yourself　that　the　recipient　of　the　alms　is　worthy　of　the　same；　you　will　do　much　good；　and　as　you　travel　you　will　become　acquainted　with　all　men　and　sundry；　and　they　will　treat　you；　not　as　a　tchinovnik　to　be　feared；　but　as　one　to　whom；　as　a　petitioner　on　behalf　of　the　Church；　they　may　unloose　their　tongues　without　peril。〃

〃I　feel　that　the　scheme　is　a　splendid　one；　and　would　gladly　bear　my　part　in　it　were　it　not　likely　to　exceed　my　strength。〃

〃What　is　there　that　does　NOT　exceed　your　strength？〃　said　Murazov。　〃Nothing　is　wholly　proportionate　to　iteverything　surpasses　it。　Help　from　above　is　necessary：　otherwise　we　are　all　powerless。　Strength　comes　of　prayer；　and　of　prayer　alone。　When　a　man　crosses　himself；　and　cries；　'Lord；　have　mercy　upon　me！'　he　soon　stems　the　current　and　wins　to　the　shore。　Nor　need　you　take　any　prolonged　thought　concerning　this　matter。　All　that　you　need　do　is　to　accept　it　as　a　commission　sent　of　God。　The　tilt…waggon　can　be　prepared　for　you　immediately；　and　then；　as　soon　as　you　have　been　to　the　Archimandrite　for　your　book　of　accounts　and　his　blessing；　you　will　be　free　to　start　on　your　journey。〃

〃I　submit　myself　to　you；　and　accept　the　commission　as　a　divine　trust。〃

And　even　as　Khlobuev　spoke　he　felt　renewed　vigour　and　confidence　arise　in　his　soul；　and　his　mind　begin　to　awake　to　a　sense　of　hopefulness　of　eventually　being　able　to　put　to　flight　his　troubles。　And　even　as　it　was；　the　world　seemed　to　be　growing　dim　to　his　eyes。　。　。　。

Meanwhile；　plea　after　plea　had　been　presented　to　the　legal　authorities；　and　daily　were　relatives　whom　no　one　had　befor