madam how and lady why(豪夫人和怀女士)-第31章
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with till he came to grief again； boasting in the meantime that he and not
Analysis had found out the facts。 And at last he grew so conceited that
he fancied he knew all that Madam How could teach him； or Lady Why
either； and that he understood all things in heaven and earth； while it was
not the real heaven and earth that he was thinking of； but a sham heaven
and a sham earth； which he had built up out of his guesses and his own
fancies。
And the more Synthesis waxed in pride； and the more he trampled
upon his poor brother； the more reckless he grew； and the more willing to
deceive himself。 If his real flowers would not grow； he cut out paper
flowers； and painted them and said that they would do just as well as
natural ones。 If his dolls would not work； he put strings and wires behind
them to make them nod their heads and open their eyes； and then
persuaded other people； and perhaps half…persuaded himself； that they
were alive。 If the hand of his weather…glass went down； he nailed it up to
insure a fine day； and tortured； burnt； or murdered every one who said it
did not keep up of itself。 And many other foolish and wicked things he
did； which little boys need not hear of yet。
But at last his punishment came； according to the laws of his
grandmother； Madam How； which are like the laws of the Medes and
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Persians； and alter not； as you and all mankind will sooner or later find； for
he grew so rich and powerful that he grew careless and lazy； and thought
about nothing but eating and drinking； till people began to despise him
more and more。 And one day he left the dungeon of Analysis so ill
guarded； that Analysis got out and ran away。 Great was the hue and cry
after him； and terribly would he have been punished had he been caught。
But； lo and behold； folks had grown so disgusted with Synthesis that they
began to take the part of Analysis。 Poor men hid him in their cottages；
and scholars in their studies。 And when war arose about him；and
terrible wars did arise；good kings； wise statesmen； gallant soldiers； spent
their treasure and their lives in fighting for him。 All honest folk
welcomed him； because he was honest； and all wise folk used him； for；
instead of being a conceited tyrant like Synthesis； he showed himself the
most faithful； diligent； humble of servants； ready to do every man's work；
and answer every man's questions。 And among them all he got so well
fed that he grew very shortly into the giant that he ought to have been all
along； and was； and will be for many a year to come； perfectly able to take
care of himself。
As for poor Synthesis； he really has fallen so low in these days； that
one cannot but pity him。 He now goes about humbly after his brother；
feeding on any scraps that are thrown to him； and is snubbed and rapped
over the knuckles； and told one minute to hold his tongue and mind his
own business； and the next that he has no business at all to mind； till he
has got into such a poor way that some folks fancy he will die； and are
actually digging his grave already； and composing his epitaph。 But they
are trying to wear the bear's skin before the bear is killed； for Synthesis is
not dead； nor anything like it； and he will rise up again some day； to make
good friends with his brother Analysis； and by his help do nobler and more
beautiful work than he has ever yet done in the world。
So now Analysis has got the upper hand； so much so that he is in
danger of being spoilt by too much prosperity； as his brother was before
him； in which case he too will have his fall； and a great deal of good it will
do him。 And that is the end of my story； and a true story it is。
Now you must remember； whenever you have to do with him； that
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Analysis； like fire； is a very good servant； but a very bad master。 For；
having got his freedom only of late years or so； he is； like young men
when they come suddenly to be their own masters； apt to be conceited； and
to fancy that he knows everything； when really he knows nothing； and can
never know anything； but only knows about things； which is a very
different matter。 Indeed； nowadays he pretends that he can teach his old
grandmother； Madam How； not only how to suck eggs； but to make eggs
into the bargain； while the good old lady just laughs at him kindly； and lets
him run on； because she knows he will grow wiser in time； and learn
humility by his mistakes and failures； as I hope you will from yours。
However； Analysis is a very clever young giant； and can do wonderful
work as long as he meddles only with dead things； like this bit of lime。
He can take it to pieces； and tell you of what things it is made； or seems to
be made； and take them to pieces again； and tell you what each of them is
made of； and so on； till he gets conceited； and fancies that he can find out
some one Thing of all things （which he calls matter）； of which all other
things are made； and some Way of all ways （which he calls force）； by
which all things are made： but when he boasts in that way； old Madam
How smiles； and says； 〃My child； before you can say that； you must
remember a hundred things which you are forgetting； and learn a hundred
thousand things which you do not know；〃 and then she just puts her hand
over his eyes； and Master Analysis begins groping in the dark； and talking
the saddest nonsense。 So beware of him； and keep him in his own place；
and to his own work； or he will flatter you； and get the mastery of you； and
persuade you that he can teach you a thousand things of which he knows
no more than he does why a duck's egg never hatches into a chicken。
And remember； if Master Analysis ever grows saucy and conceited with
you； just ask him that last riddle； and you will shut him up at once。
And why？
Because Analysis can only explain to you a little about dead things；
like stonesinorganic things as they are called。 Living thingsorganisms；
as they are calledhe cannot explain to you at all。 When he meddles
with them； he always ends like the man who killed his goose to get the
golden eggs。 He has to kill his goose； or his flower； or his insect； before
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he can analyse it； and then it is not a goose； but only the corpse of a goose；
not a flower； but only the dead stuff of the flower。
And therefore he will never do anything but fail； when he tries to find
out the life in things。 How can he； when he has to take the life out of
them first？ He could not even find out how a plum… pudding is made by
merely analysing it。 He might part the sugar； and the flour； and the suet；
he might even （for he is very clever； and very patient too； the more honour
to him） take every atom of sugar out of the flour with which it had got
mixed； and every atom of brown colour w
