three men on the bummel(三个闲逛的人)-第24章
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homely wit whatever。 He just sits there； and for his own sake tries to
learn that foreign tongue with as little trouble to everybody concerned as
possible。 When he has left school he can talk； not about penknives and
gardeners and aunts merely； but about European politics； history；
Shakespeare； or the musical glasses； according to the turn the conversation
may take。
Viewing the German people from an Anglo…Saxon standpoint； it may
be that in this book I shall find occasion to criticise them： but on the
other hand there is much that we might learn from them； and in the matter
of common sense； as applied to education； they can give us ninety…nine in
a hundred and beat us with one hand。
The beautiful wood of the Eilenriede bounds Hanover on the south and
west； and here occurred a sad drama in which Harris took a prominent
part。
We were riding our machines through this wood on the Monday
afternoon in the company of many other cyclists； for it is a favourite resort
with the Hanoverians on a sunny afternoon； and its shady pathways are
then filled with happy； thoughtless folk。 Among them rode a young and
beautiful girl on a machine that was new。 She was evidently a novice on
the bicycle。 One felt instinctively that there would come a moment when
she would require help； and Harris； with his accustomed chivalry；
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suggested we should keep near her。 Harris； as he occasionally explains to
George and to myself； has daughters of his own； or； to speak more
correctly； a daughter； who as the years progress will no doubt cease
practising catherine wheels in the front garden； and will grow up into a
beautiful and respectable young lady。 This naturally gives Harris an
interest in all beautiful girls up to the age of thirty…five or thereabouts；
they remind him； so he says； of home。
We had ridden for about two miles； when we noticed； a little ahead of
us in a space where five ways met； a man with a hose； watering the roads。
The pipe； supported at each joint by a pair of tiny wheels； writhed after
him as he moved； suggesting a gigantic…worm； from whose open neck； as
the man； gripping it firmly in both hands； pointing it now this way； and
now that； now elevating it； now depressing it； poured a strong stream of
water at the rate of about a gallon a second。
〃What a much better method than ours；〃 observed Harris；
enthusiastically。 Harris is inclined to be chronically severe on all British
institutions。 〃How much simpler； quicker； and more economical！ You
see； one man by this method can in five minutes water a stretch of road
that would take us with our clumsy lumbering cart half an hour to cover。〃
George； who was riding behind me on the tandem； said； 〃Yes； and it is
also a method by which with a little carelessness a man could cover a good
many people in a good deal less time than they could get out of the way。〃
George； the opposite to Harris； is British to the core。 I remember
George quite patriotically indignant with Harris once for suggesting the
introduction of the guillotine into England。
〃It is so much neater；〃 said Harris。
〃I don't care if it is；〃 said George； 〃I'm an Englishman； hanging is
good enough for me。〃
〃Our water…cart may have its disadvantages；〃 continued George； 〃but it
can only make you uncomfortable about the legs； and you can avoid it。
This is the sort of machine with which a man can follow you round the
corner and upstairs。〃
〃It fascinates me to watch them；〃 said Harris。 〃They are so skilful。
I have seen a man from the corner of a crowded square in Strassburg cover
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every inch of ground； and not so much as wet an apron string。 It is
marvellous how they judge their distance。 They will send the water up to
your toes； and then bring it over your head so that it falls around your
heels。 They can〃
〃Ease up a minute；〃 said George。 I said： 〃Why？〃
He said： 〃I am going to get off and watch the rest of this show from
behind a tree。 There may be great performers in this line； as Harris says；
this particular artist appears to me to lack something。 He has just soused
a dog； and now he's busy watering a sign…post。 I am going to wait till he
has finished。〃
〃Nonsense；〃 said Harris； 〃he won't wet you。〃
〃That is precisely what I am going to make sure of；〃 answered George；
saying which he jumped off； and； taking up a position behind a remarkably
fine elm； pulled out and commenced filling his pipe。
I did not care to take the tandem on by myself； so I stepped off and
joined him； leaving the machine against a tree。 Harris shouted something
or other about our being a disgrace to the land that gave us birth； and rode
on。
The next moment I heard a woman's cry of distress。 Glancing round
the stem of the tree； I perceived that it proceeded from the young and
elegant lady before mentioned； whom； in our interest concerning the road…
waterer； we had forgotten。 She was riding her machine steadily and
straightly through a drenching shower of water from the hose。 She
appeared to be too paralysed either to get off or turn her wheel aside。
Every instant she was becoming wetter； while the man with the hose； who
was either drunk or blind； continued to pour water upon her with utter
indifference。 A dozen voices yelled imprecations upon him； but he took
no heed whatever。
Harris； his fatherly nature stirred to its depths； did at this point what；
under the circumstances； was quite the right and proper thing to do。 Had
he acted throughout with the same coolness and judgment he then
displayed； he would have emerged from that incident the hero of the hour；
instead of； as happened； riding away followed by insult and threat。
Without a moment's hesitation he spurted at the man； sprang to the ground；
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and； seizing the hose by the nozzle； attempted to wrest it away。
What he ought to have done； what any man retaining his common
sense would have done the moment he got his hands upon the thing； was
to turn off the tap。 Then he might have played foot…ball with the man； or
battledore and shuttlecock as he pleased； and the twenty or thirty people
who had rushed forward to assist would have only applauded。 His idea；
however； as he explained to us afterwards； was to take away the hose from
the man； and； for punishment； turn it upon the fool himself。 The
waterman's idea appeared to be the same； namely； to retain the hose as a
weapon with which to soak Harris。 Of course； the result was that；
between them； they soused every dead and living thing within fifty yards；
