three men on the bummel(三个闲逛的人)-第23章
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grammar； and one of these days our schools will recognise the fact； and it
will be taught to our children； penetrating maybe even into literary and
journalistic circles。 But at present we appear to agree with the foreigner
that it is a quantity neglectable。 English pronunciation is the stumbling…
block to our progress。 English spelling would seem to have been
designed chiefly as a disguise to pronunciation。 It is a clever idea；
calculated to check presumption on the part of the foreigner； but for that
he would learn it in a year。
For they have a way of teaching languages in Germany that is not our
way； and the consequence is that when the German youth or maiden leaves
the gymnasium or high school at fifteen； 〃it〃 （as in Germany one
conveniently may say） can understand and speak the tongue it has been
learning。 In England we have a method that for obtaining the least
possible result at the greatest possible expenditure of time and money is
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perhaps unequalled。 An English boy who has been through a good
middle…class school in England can talk to a Frenchman； slowly and with
difficulty； about female gardeners and aunts； conversation which； to a man
possessed perhaps of neither； is liable to pall。 Possibly； if he be a bright
exception； he may be able to tell the time； or make a few guarded
observations concerning the weather。 No doubt he could repeat a goodly
number of irregular verbs by heart； only； as a matter of fact； few foreigners
care to listen to their own irregular verbs； recited by young Englishmen。
Likewise he might be able to remember a choice selection of grotesquely
involved French idioms； such as no modern Frenchman has ever heard or
understands when he does hear。
The explanation is that； in nine cases out of ten； he has learnt French
from an 〃Ahn's First…Course。〃 The history of this famous work is
remarkable and instructive。 The book was originally written for a joke；
by a witty Frenchman who had resided for some years in England。 He
intended it as a satire upon the conversational powers of British society。
From this point of view it was distinctly good。 He submitted it to a
London publishing firm。 The manager was a shrewd man。 He read the
book through。 Then he sent for the author。
〃This book of yours；〃 said he to the author； 〃is very clever。 I have
laughed over it myself till the tears came。〃
〃I am delighted to hear you say so；〃 replied the pleased Frenchman。 〃I
tried to be truthful without being unnecessarily offensive。〃
〃It is most amusing；〃 concurred the manager； 〃and yet published as a
harmless joke； I feel it would fail。〃
The author's face fell。
〃Its humour；〃 proceeded the manager； 〃would be denounced as forced
and extravagant。 It would amuse the thoughtful and intelligent； but from
a business point of view that portion of the public are never worth
considering。 But I have an idea；〃 continued the manager。 He glanced
round the room to be sure they were alone； and leaning forward sunk his
voice to a whisper。 〃My notion is to publish it as a serious work for the
use of schools！〃
The author stared； speechless。
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〃I know the English schoolman；〃 said the manager； 〃this book will
appeal to him。 It will exactly fit in with his method。 Nothing sillier；
nothing more useless for the purpose will he ever discover。 He will
smack his lips over the book； as a puppy licks up blacking。〃
The author； sacrificing art to greed； consented。 They altered the title
and added a vocabulary； but left the book otherwise as it was。
The result is known to every schoolboy。 〃Ahn〃 became the
palladium of English philological education。 If it no longer retains its
ubiquity； it is because something even less adaptable to the object in view
has been since invented。
Lest； in spite of all； the British schoolboy should obtain； even from the
like of 〃Ahn；〃 some glimmering of French； the British educational method
further handicaps him by bestowing upon him the assistance of； what is
termed in the prospectus； 〃A native gentleman。〃 This native French
gentleman； who； by…the…by； is generally a Belgian； is no doubt a most
worthy person； and can； it is true； understand and speak his own language
with tolerable fluency。 There his qualifications cease。 Invariably he is a
man with a quite remarkable inability to teach anybody anything。 Indeed；
he would seem to be chosen not so much as an instructor as an amuser of
youth。 He is always a comic figure。 No Frenchman of a dignified
appearance would be engaged for any English school。 If he possess by
nature a few harmless peculiarities； calculated to cause merriment； so
much the more is he esteemed by his employers。 The class naturally
regards him as an animated joke。 The two to four hours a week that are
deliberately wasted on this ancient farce； are looked forward to by the
boys as a merry interlude in an otherwise monotonous existence。 And
then； when the proud parent takes his son and heir to Dieppe merely to
discover that the lad does not know enough to call a cab； he abuses not the
system； but its innocent victim。
I confine my remarks to French； because that is the only language we
attempt to teach our youth。 An English boy who could speak German
would be looked down upon as unpatriotic。 Why we waste time in
teaching even French according to this method I have never been able to
understand。 A perfect unacquaintance with a language is respectable。
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But putting aside comic journalists and lady novelists； for whom it is a
business necessity； this smattering of French which we are so proud to
possess only serves to render us ridiculous。
In the German school the method is somewhat different。 One hour
every day is devoted to the same language。 The idea is not to give the
lad time between each lesson to forget what he learned at the last； the idea
is for him to get on。 There is no comic foreigner provided for his
amusement。 The desired language is taught by a German school…master
who knows it inside and out as thoroughly as he knows his own。 Maybe
this system does not provide the German youth with that perfection of
foreign accent for which the British tourist is in every land remarkable； but
it has other advantages。 The boy does not call his master 〃froggy；〃 or
〃sausage；〃 nor prepare for the French or English hour any exhibition of
homely wit whatever。 He just sits
