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those we had hitherto traversed。 It was the most noisome quarter of
London; where every thing wore the worst impress of the most deplorable
poverty; and of the most desperate crime。 By the dim light of an
accidental lamp; tall; antique; worm…eaten; wooden tenements were seen
tottering to their fall; in directions so many and capricious that scarce
the semblance of a passage was discernible between them。 The paving…stones
lay at random; displaced from their beds by the rankly…growing grass。
Horrible filth festered in the dammed…up gutters。 The whole atmosphere
teemed with desolation。 Yet; as we proceeded; the sounds of human life
revived by sure degrees; and at length large bands of the most abandoned
of a London populace were seen reeling to and fro。 The spirits of the old
man again flickered up; as a lamp which is near its death hour。 Once more
he strode onward with elastic tread。 Suddenly a corner was turned; a blaze
of light burst upon our sight; and we stood before one of the huge
suburban temples of Intemperance … one of the palaces of the fiend; Gin。

It was now nearly day…break; but a number of wretched inebriates still
pressed in and out of the flaunting entrance。 With a half shriek of joy
the old man forced a passage within; resumed at once his original bearing;
and stalked backward and forward; without apparent object; among the
throng。 He had not been thus long occupied; however; before a rush to the
doors gave token that the host was closing them for the night。 It was
something even more intense than despair that I then observed upon the
countenance of the singular being whom I had watched so pertinaciously。
Yet he did not hesitate in his career; but; with a mad energy; retraced
his steps at once; to the heart of the mighty London。 Long and swiftly he
fled; while I followed him in the wildest amazement; resolute not to
abandon a scrutiny in which I now felt an interest all…absorbing。 The sun
arose while we proceeded; and; when we had once again reached that most
thronged mart of the populous town; the street of the D Hotel; it
presented an appearance of human bustle and activity scarcely inferior to
what I had seen on the evening before。 And here; long; amid the momently
increasing confusion; did I persist in my pursuit of the stranger。 But; as
usual; he walked to and fro; and during the day did not pass from out the
turmoil of that street。 And; as the shades of the second evening came on;
I grew wearied unto death; and; stopping fully in front of the wanderer;
gazed at him steadfastly in the face。 He noticed me not; but resumed his
solemn walk; while I; ceasing to follow; remained absorbed in
contemplation。 〃This old man;〃 I said at length; 〃is the type and the
genius of deep crime。 He refuses to be alone。 'page 228:' He is the man of
the crowd。 It will be in vain to follow; for I shall learn no more of him;
nor of his deeds。 The worst heart of the world is a grosser book than the
'Hortulus Anim?' {*1} and perhaps it is but one of the great mercies of
God that 'er lasst sich nicht lesen。' 〃

{*1} The 〃_Hortulus Anim?cum Oratiunculis Aliquibus Superadditis_〃 of
Gr黱ninger

~~~ End of Text ~~~



Never Bet the Devil Your Head

A Tale With a Moral。

〃_CON tal que las costumbres de un autor_;〃 says Don Thomas de las Torres;
in the preface to his 〃Amatory Poems〃 _〃sean puras y castas; importo muy
poco que no sean igualmente severas sus obras〃_  meaning; in plain
English; that; provided the morals of an author are pure personally; it
signifies nothing what are the morals of his books。 We presume that Don
Thomas is now in Purgatory for the assertion。 It would be a clever thing;
too; in the way of poetical justice; to keep him there until his 〃Amatory
Poems〃 get out of print; or are laid definitely upon the shelf through
lack of readers。 Every fiction should have a moral; and; what is more to
the purpose; the critics have discovered that every fiction has。 Philip
Melanchthon; some time ago; wrote a commentary upon the
〃Batrachomyomachia;〃 and proved that the poet's object was to excite a
distaste for sedition。 Pierre la Seine; going a step farther; shows that
the intention was to recommend to young men temperance in eating and
drinking。 Just so; too; Jacobus Hugo has satisfied himself that; by
Euenis; Homer meant to insinuate John Calvin; by Antinous; Martin Luther;
by the Lotophagi; Protestants in general; and; by the Harpies; the Dutch。
Our more modern Scholiasts are equally acute。 These fellows demonstrate a
hidden meaning in 〃The Antediluvians;〃 a parable in Powhatan;〃 new views
in 〃Cock Robin;〃 and transcendentalism in 〃Hop O' My Thumb。〃 In short; it
has been shown that no man can sit down to write without a very profound
design。 Thus to authors in general much trouble is spared。 A novelist; for
example; need have no care of his moral。 It is there  that is to say; it
is somewhere  and the moral and the critics can take care of themselves。
When the proper time arrives; all that the gentleman intended; and all
that he did not intend; will be brought to light; in the 〃Dial;〃 or the
〃Down…Easter;〃 together with all that he ought to have intended; and the
rest that he clearly meant to intend:  so that it will all come very
straight in the end。

There is no just ground; therefore; for the charge brought against me by
certain ignoramuses  that I have never written a moral tale; or; in more
precise words; a tale with a moral。 They are not the critics predestined
to bring me out; and develop my morals:  that is the secret。 By and by
the 〃North American Quarterly Humdrum〃 will make them ashamed of their
stupidity。 In the meantime; by way of staying execution  by way of
mitigating the accusations against me  I offer the sad history appended;
 a history about whose obvious moral there can be no question whatever;
since he who runs may read it in the large capitals which form the title
of the tale。 I should have credit for this arrangement  a far wiser one
than that of La Fontaine and others; who reserve the impression to be
conveyed until the last moment; and thus sneak it in at the fag end of
their fables。

Defuncti injuria ne afficiantur was a law of the twelve tables; and De
mortuis nil nisi bonum is an excellent injunction  even if the dead in
question be nothing but dead small beer。 It is not my design; therefore;
to vituperate my deceased friend; Toby Dammit。 He was a sad dog; it is
true; and a dog's death it was that he died; but he himself was not to
blame for his vices。 They grew out of a personal defect in his mother。 She
did her best in the way of flogging him while an infant  for duties to
her well  regulated mind were always pleasures; and babies; like tough
steaks; or the modern Greek olive trees; are invariably the better for
beating  but; poor woman! she had the misfortune to be left…handed; and
a child flogged left…handedly had better be left unflogged。 The world
revolves from right to left。 It will not do to whip a baby from left to
right。 If each blow in the proper direction drives an evil propensity out;
it follows that every thump in an opposite one knocks its quota of
wickedness in。 I was often present at Toby's chastisements; and; even by
the way in which he kicked; I could perceive that he was getting worse and
worse every day。 At last I saw; through the tears in my eyes; that there
was no hope of the villain at all; and one day when he had been cuffed
until he grew so black in the face that one might have mistaken him for a
little African; and no effect had been produced beyond that of making him
wriggle himself into a fit; I could stand it no longer; but went down upon
my knees forthwith; and; uplifting my voice; made prophecy of his ruin。

The fact is that his precocity in vice was awful。 At five months of age he
used to get into such passions that he was unable to articulate。 At six
months; I caught him gnawing a pack of cards。 At seven months he was in
the constant habit of catching and kissing the female babies。 At eight
months he peremptorily refused to put his signature to the Temperance
pledge。 Thus he went on increasing in iniquity; month after month; until;
at the close of th

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