a dream of armageddom-第3章

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come　to　this　place。　　And　they　looked　also　at　the　lady　beside　me；

though　half　the　story　of　how　at　last　she　had　come　to　me　was　unknown

or　mistold。　　And　few　of　the　men　who　were　there；　I　know；　but　judged

me　a　happy　man；　in　spite　of　all　the　shame　and　dishonour　that　had

come　upon　my　name。



〃The　air　was　full　of　music；　full　of　harmonious　scents；　full　of

the　rhythm　of　beautiful　motions。　　Thousands　of　beautiful　people

swarmed　about　the　hall；　crowded　the　galleries；　sat　in　a　myriad

recesses；　they　were　dressed　in　splendid　colours　and　crowned　with

flowers；　thousands　danced　about　the　great　circle　beneath　the　white

images　of　the　ancient　gods；　and　glorious　processions　of　youths　and

maidens　came　and　went。　　We　two　danced；　not　the　dreary　monotonies　of

your　daysof　this　time；　I　meanbut　dances　that　were　beautiful；

intoxicating。　　And　even　now　I　can　see　my　lady　dancingdancing

joyously。　　She　danced；　you　know；　with　a　serious　face；　she　danced

with　a　serious　dignity；　and　yet　she　was　smiling　at　me　and　caressing

mesmiling　and　caressing　with　her　eyes。



〃The　music　was　different；〃　he　murmured。　　〃It　wentI　cannot

describe　it；　but　it　was　infinitely　richer　and　more　varied　than　any

music　that　has　ever　come　to　me　awake。



〃And　thenit　was　when　we　had　done　dancinga　man　came　to

speak　to　me。　　He　was　a　lean；　resolute　man；　very　soberly　clad　for

that　place；　and　already　I　had　marked　his　face　watching　me　in　the

breakfasting　hall；　and　afterwards　as　we　went　along　the　passage　I

had　avoided　his　eye。　　But　now；　as　we　sat　in　a　little　alcove；

smiling　at　the　pleasure　of　all　the　people　who　went　to　and　fro

across　the　shining　floor；　he　came　and　touched　me；　and　spoke　to　me

so　that　I　was　forced　to　listen。　　And　he　asked　that　he　might　speak

to　me　for　a　little　time　apart。



〃'No；'　I　said。　　'I　have　no　secrets　from　this　lady。　　What　do

you　want　to　tell　me？'



〃He　said　it　was　a　trivial　matter；　or　at　least　a　dry　matter；

for　a　lady　to　hear。



〃'Perhaps　for　me　to　hear；'　said　I。



〃He　glanced　at　her；　as　though　almost　he　would　appeal　to　her。　

Then　he　asked　me　suddenly　if　I　had　heard　of　a　great　and　avenging

declaration　that　Evesham　had　made？　　Now；　Evesham　had　always　before

been　the　man　next　to　myself　in　the　leadership　of　that　great　party

in　the　north。　　He　was　a　forcible；　hard；　and　tactless　man；　and　only

I　had　been　able　to　control　and　soften　him。　　It　was　on　his　account

even　more　than　my　own；　I　think；　that　the　others　had　been　so

dismayed　at　my　retreat。　　So　this　question　about　what　he　had　done

reawakened　my　old　interest　in　the　life　I　had　put　aside　just　for

a　moment。



〃'I　have　taken　no　heed　of　any　news　for　many　days；'　I　said。　

'What　has　Evesham　been　saying？'



〃And　with　that　the　man　began；　nothing　loth；　and　I　must　confess

even　I　was　struck　by　Evesham's　reckless　folly　in　the　wild　and

threatening　words　he　had　used。　　And　this　messenger　they　had　sent　to

me　not　only　told　me　of　Evesham's　speech；　but　went　on　to　ask　counsel

and　to　point　out　what　need　they　had　of　me。　　While　he　talked；　my

lady　sat　a　little　forward　and　watched　his　face　and　mine。



〃My　old　habits　of　scheming　and　organising　reasserted

themselves。　　I　could　even　see　myself　suddenly　returning　to　the

north；　and　all　the　dramatic　effect　of　it。　　All　that　this　man　said

witnessed　to　the　disorder　of　the　party　indeed；　but　not　to　its

damage。　　I　should　go　back　stronger　than　I　had　come。　　And　then　I

thought　of　my　lady。　　You　seehow　can　I　tell　you？　　There　were

certain　peculiarities　of　our　relationshipas　things　are　I　need　not

tell　you　about　thatwhich　would　render　her　presence　with　me

impossible。　　I　should　have　had　to　leave　her；　indeed；　I　should　have

had　to　renounce　her　clearly　and　openly；　if　I　was　to　do　all　that　I

could　do　in　the　north。　　And　the　man　knew　that；　even　as　he　talked　to

her　and　me；　knew　it　as　well　as　she　did；　that　my　steps　to　duty

werefirst；　separation；　then　abandonment。　　At　the　touch　of　that

thought　my　dream　of　a　return　was　shattered。　　I　turned　on　the　man

suddenly；　as　he　was　imagining　his　eloquence　was　gaining　ground　with

me。



〃'What　have　I　to　do　with　these　things　now？'　I　said。　　'I　have

done　with　them。　　Do　you　think　I　am　coquetting　with　your　people　in

coming　here？'



〃'No；'　he　said。　　'But'



〃'Why　　cannot　you　leave　me　alone。　　I　have　done　with　these

things。　　I　have　ceased　to　be　anything　but　a　private　man。'



〃'Yes；'　he　answered。　　'But　have　you　thought？this　talk　of

war；　these　reckless　challenges；　these　wild　aggressions'



〃I　stood　up。



〃'No；'　I　cried。　　'I　won't　hear　you。　　I　took　count　of　all　those

things；　I　weighed　themand　I　have　come　away。'



〃He　seemed　to　consider　the　possibility　of　persistence。　　He

looked　from　me　to　where　the　lady　sat　regarding　us。



〃'War；'　he　said；　as　if　he　were　speaking　to　himself；　and　then

turned　slowly　from　me　and　walked　away。



〃I　stood；　caught　in　the　whirl　of　thoughts　his　appeal　had　set

going。



〃I　heard　my　lady's　voice。



〃'Dear；'　she　said；　'but　if　they　had　need　of　you'



〃She　did　not　finish　her　sentence；　she　let　it　rest　there。　　I

turned　to　her　sweet　face；　and　the　balance　of　my　mood　swayed　and

reeled。



〃'They　want　me　only　to　do　the　thing　they　dare　not　do

themselves；'　I　said。　　'If　they　distrust　Evesham　they　must　settle

with　him　themselves。'



〃She　looked　at　me　doubtfully。



〃'But　war'　she　said。



〃I　saw　a　doubt　on　her　face　that　I　had　seen　before；　a　doubt　of

herself　and　me；　the　first　shadow　of　the　discovery　that；　seen

strongly　and　completely；　must　drive　us　apart　for　ever。



〃Now；　I　was　an　older　mind　than　hers；　and　I　could　sway　her　to

this　belief　or　that。



〃'My　dear　one；'　I　said；　'you　must　not　trouble　over　these

things。　　There　will　be　no　war。　　Certainly　there　will　be　no　war。　

The　age　of　wars　is　past。　　Trust　me　to　know　the　justice　of　this

case。　　They　have　no　right　upon　me；　dearest；　and　no　one　has　a　right

upon　me。　　I　have　been　free　to　choose　my　life；　and　I　have　chosen

this。'



〃'But　war；'　she　said。



〃I　sat　down　beside　her。　　I　put　an　arm　behind　her　and　took　her

hand　in　mine。　　I　set　myself　to　drive　that　doubt　awayI　set　myself

to　fill　her　mind　with　pleasant　things　again。　　I　lied　to　her；　and　in

lying　to　her　I　lied　also　to　myself。　　And　she　was　only　too　ready　to

believe　me；　only　too　ready　to　forget。



〃Very　soon　the　shadow　had　gone　again；　and　we　were　hastening　to

our　bathing…place　in　the　Grotta　del　Bovo　Marino；　where　it　was　our

custom　to　bathe　every　day。　　We　swam　and　splashed　one　another；　and

in　that　buoyant　water　I　seemed　to　become　something　lighter　and

stronger　than　a　man。　　And　at　last　we　came　out　dripping　and

rejoicing　and　raced　among　the　rocks。　　And　then　I　put　on　a　dry

bathing…dress；　and　we　sat　to　bask　in　the　sun；　and　presently　I

nodded；　resting　my　head　against　her　knee；　and　she　put　her　hand　upon

my　hair　and　stroked　it　softly　and　I　dozed。　　And　behold！　as　it

were　with　the　snapping　of　the　string　of　a　violin；　I　was　awakening；

and　I　was　in　my　own　bed　in　Liverpool；　in　the　life　of　to…day。



〃Only　for　a　time　I　could　not　believe　that　all　these　vivid

moments　had　been　no　more　than　the　substance　of　a　dream。



〃In　truth；　I　could　not　believe　it　a　dream　for　all　the　sobering

reality　of　things　about　me。　　I　bathed　and　dressed　as　it　were　by

habit；　and　as　I　shaved　I　argued　why　I　of　all　men　should　leave　the

woman　I　loved　to　go　back　to　fantastic　politics　in　the　hard　and

strenuous　north。　　Even　if　Evesham　did　force　the　world　back　to　war；

what　was　that　to　me？　　I　was　a　man　with　the　heart　of　a　man；　and　why

should　I　feel　the　responsibility　of　a　deity　for　the　way　the　world

might　go？



〃You　know　that　is　not　quite　the　way　I　think　about　affairs；

about　my　real　affairs。　　I　am　a　solicitor；　you　know；　with　a　point　of

view。



〃The　vision　was　so　real；　you　must　understand；　so　utterly

unlike　a　dream　that　I　kept　perpetually　recalling　little　irrelevant

details；　even　the　ornament　of　the　book…cover　that　lay　on　my　wife's

sewing…machine　in　the　breakfast…room　recalled　with　the　utmost

vividness　the　gilt