my memories of eighty years-第59章
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Suddenly this lady； leaning over me； said to her sister： 'Damn it； Fan； will this dinner never end？' The whole table was shocked and my nerves were completely shattered。〃 The great war； as I think； exterminated this entire tribe。
I was delighted to find at Nauheim my old friends； Mark Twain and the Reverend Doctor Joseph Twichell； of Hartford； Conn。 Doctor Twichell was Mark Twain's pastor at home。 He was in college with me at Yale； and I was also associated with him in the governing corporation of Yale University。 He was one of the finest wits and remarkable humorists of his time。 Wit and humor were with him spontaneous； and he bubbled over with them。 Mark Twain's faculties in that line were more labored and had to be worked out。 Doctor Twichell often furnished in the rough the jewels which afterwards in Mark Twain's workshop became perfect gems。
I invited them to come over and spend the day and dine with me in the evening at Homburg。 Mark Twain at that time had the reputation in England of being the greatest living wit and humorist。 It soon spread over Homburg that he was in town and was to dine with me in the evening； and requests came pouring in to be invited。 I kept enlarging my table at the Kursaal； with these requests； until the management said they could go no farther。 I placed Mark Twain alongside Lady Cork； one of the most brilliant women in England。 In the course of years of acquaintance I had met Mark Twain under many conditions。 He was very uncertain in a social gathering。 Sometimes he would be the life of the occasion and make it one to be long remembered； but generally he contributed nothing。 At this dinner； whenever he showed the slightest sign of making a remark； there was dead silence； but the remark did not come。 He had a charming time； and so did Lady Cork； but the rest of the company heard nothing from the great humorist； and they were greatly disappointed。
The next morning Mark Twain came down to the springs in his tramping…suit； which had fairly covered the continent。 I introduced him to the Prince of Wales； and he was charmed with him in their hour of walk and talk。 At dinner that evening the prince said to me： 〃I would have invited Mark Twain this evening； if I thought he had with him any dinner clothes。〃
〃At my dinner last night；〃 I said； 〃he met every conventional requirement。〃
〃Then；〃 continued the prince； 〃I would be much obliged if you would get him for dinner with me to…morrow evening。〃
It was very much the same company as had dined with the prince the night before。 Again Twain was for a long time a complete disappointment。 I knew scores of good things of his and tried my best to start him off； but without success。 The prince； who was unusually adroit and tactful in drawing a distinguished guest out； also failed。 When the dinner was over； however； and we had reached the cigars； Mark Twain started in telling a story in his most captivating way。 His peculiar drawl； his habit in emphasizing the points by shaking his bushy hair； made him a dramatic narrator。 He never had greater success。 Even the veteran Mark himself was astonished at the uproarious laughter which greeted almost every sentence and was overwhelming when he closed。
There are millions of stories in the world； and several hundred of them good ones。 No one knew more of them than Mark Twain； and yet out of this vast collection he selected the one which I had told the night before to the same company。 The laughter and enjoyment were not at the story； but because the English had； as they thought； caught me in retailing to them from Mark Twain's repertoire one of his stories。 It so happened that it was a story which I had heard as happening upon our railroad in one of my tours of inspection。 I had told it in a speech； and it had been generally copied in the American newspapers。 Mark Twain's reputation as the greatest living humorist caused that crowd to doubt the originality of my stories。
Mark had declined the cigars； but the prince was so delighted that he offered him one of the highly prized selection from his own case。 This drew from him a story； which I have not seen in any of his books。 I have read Mark Twain always with the greatest pleasure。 His books of travel have been to me a source of endless interest； and his 〃Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc〃 is the best representation of the saint and heroine that I know。
When the prince offered him the cigar； Mark said： 〃No； prince； I never smoke。 I have the reputation in Hartford； Conn。； of furnishing at my entertainments the worst of cigars。 When I was going abroad； and as I would be away for several years； I gave a reception and invited all my friends。 I had the governor of the State of Connecticut and the judges of the highest courts； and the most distinguished members of the legislature。 I had the leading clergymen and other citizens； and also the president and faculty of Yale University and Trinity College。
〃At three o'clock in the afternoon my butler； who is a colored man； Pompey by name； came to me and said： 'Mr。 Clemens； we have no cigars。' Just then a pedler's wagon stopped at the gate。 In England they call them cheap jacks。 I hailed the merchant and said： 'What have you in your wagon？' 'Well；' he answered； 'I have some Gobelin tapestries； Sevres china； and Japanese cloisonne vases； and a few old masters。' Then I said to him： 'I do not want any of those； but have you cigars； and how much？' The pedler answered： 'Yes； sir； I have some excellent cigars； which I will sell you at seventeen cents a barrel。' I have to explain that a cent is an English farthing。 Then I told him to roll a barrel in。〃
〃It was a great occasion； one of the greatest we ever had in the old State of Connecticut；〃 continued Mark； 〃but I noticed that the guests left unusually early after supper。 The next morning I asked the butler why they left so early。 'Well；' he said； 'Mr。 Clemens； everybody enjoyed the supper； and they were all having a good time until I gave them the cigars。 After the gentleman had taken three puffs； he said： 〃Pomp； you infernal nigger； get me my hat and coat quick。〃 When I went out； my stone walk； which was one hundred yards long from the front door to the gate； was just paved with those cigars。'〃 This specimen of American exaggeration told in Mark Twain's original way made a great hit。
I met Mark Twain at a theatrical supper in London given by Sir Henry Irving。 It was just after his pubIishing firm had failed so disastrously。 It was a notable company of men of letters； playwrights； and artists。 Poor Mark was broken in health and spirits。 He tried to make a speech； and a humorous one； but it saddened the whole company。
I met him again after he had made the money on his remarkable lecture tour around the world； with which he met and paid all his debts。 It was an achievement worthy of the famous effort of Sir Walter Scott。 Jubilant； triumphant； and free； Mark Twain that night was the hero never forgotten by any one privileged to be present。
One year； after strenuous work and unusual difficulties； which； however； had been successfully met； I was completely exhausted。 I was advised to take a short trip to Europe； and； as usual； the four weeks' change of air and occupation was a complete cure。 I decided to include Rome in my itinerary； though I felt that my visit would be something like the experience of Phineas Fogg； who did the whole of Europe and saw all there was of it in ten days。
When I arrived in the Eternal City； my itinerary gave me four days there。 I wanted to see everything and also to meet； if possible； one of the greatest of popes； Leo XIII。 I was armed only with a letter from my accomplished and distinguished friend； Archbishop Corrigan。 I secured the best…known guide； who informed me that my efforts to see the sights within my limited time would be impossible。 Nevertheless； the incentive of an extra large commission dependent upon distances covered and sights seen； led to my going through the streets behind the best team of horses in Rome and pursued by policemen and dogs； and the horses urged on by a driver frantic for reward； and a guide who professionally and financially wa
