love and freindship-第13章

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face　that　had　not　Henry　at　such　times　been　engaged　in　conversation　with　Eloisa；　they　must　have　caught　his　Attention　and　have　very　much　distressed　him。　　The　alteration　in　my　Sisters　behaviour　which　I　have　before　hinted　at；　now　took　place。　The　Agreement　we　had　entered　into　of　admiring　each　others　productions　she　no　longer　seemed　to　regard；　and　tho'　I　constantly　applauded　even　every　Country…dance；　she　played；　yet　not　even　a　pidgeon…pye　of　my　making　could　obtain　from　her　a　single　word　of　approbation。　　This　was　certainly　enough　to　put　any　one　in　a　Passion；　however；　I　was　as　cool　as　a　cream…cheese　and　having　formed　my　plan　and　concerted　a　scheme　of　Revenge；　I　was　determined　to　let　her　have　her　own　way　and　not　even　to　make　her　a　single　reproach。　　My　scheme　was　to　treat　her　as　she　treated　me；　and　tho'　she　might　even　draw　my　own　Picture　or　play　Malbrook　（which　is　the　only　tune　I　ever　really　liked）　not　to　say　so　much　as　〃Thank　you　Eloisa；〃　tho'　I　had　for　many　years　constantly　hollowed　whenever　she　played；　BRAVO；　BRAVISSIMO；　ENCORE；　DA　CAPO；　ALLEGRETTO；　CON　EXPRESSIONE；　and　POCO　PRESTO　with　many　other　such　outlandish　words；　all　of　them　as　Eloisa　told　me　expressive　of　my　Admiration；　and　so　indeed　I　suppose　they　are；　as　I　see　some　of　them　in　every　Page　of　every　Music　book；　being　the　sentiments　I　imagine　of　the　composer。

I　executed　my　Plan　with　great　Punctuality。　　I　can　not　say　success；　for　alas！　　my　silence　while　she　played　seemed　not　in　the　least　to　displease　her；　on　the　contrary　she　actually　said　to　me　one　day　〃　Well　Charlotte；　I　am　very　glad　to　find　that　you　have　at　last　left　off　that　ridiculous　custom　of　applauding　my　Execution　on　the　Harpsichord　till　you　made　my　head　ake；　and　yourself　hoarse。　　I　feel　very　much　obliged　to　you　for　keeping　your　admiration　to　yourself。〃　　I　never　shall　forget　the　very　witty　answer　I　made　to　this　speech。　　〃Eloisa　（said　I）　I　beg　you　would　be　quite　at　your　Ease　with　respect　to　all　such　fears　in　future；　for　be　assured　that　I　shall　always　keep　my　admiration　to　myself　and　my　own　pursuits　and　never　extend　it　to　yours。〃　　This　was　the　only　very　severe　thing　I　ever　said　in　my　Life；　not　but　that　I　have　often　felt　myself　extremely　satirical　but　it　was　the　only　time　I　ever　made　my　feelings　public。

I　suppose　there　never　were　two　Young　people　who　had　a　greater　affection　for　each　other　than　Henry　and　Eloisa；　no；　the　Love　of　your　Brother　for　Miss　Burton　could　not　be　so　strong　tho'　it　might　be　more　violent。　　You　may　imagine　therefore　how　provoked　my　Sister　must　have　been　to　have　him　play　her　such　a　trick。　　Poor　girl！　　she　still　laments　his　Death　with　undiminished　constancy；　notwithstanding　he　has　been　dead　more　than　six　weeks；　but　some　People　mind　such　things　more　than　others。　　The　ill　state　of　Health　into　which　his　loss　has　thrown　her　makes　her　so　weak；　and　so　unable　to　support　the　least　exertion；　that　she　has　been　in　tears　all　this　Morning　merely　from　having　taken　leave　of　Mrs。　Marlowe　who　with　her　Husband；　Brother　and　Child　are　to　leave　Bristol　this　morning。　　I　am　sorry　to　have　them　go　because　they　are　the　only　family　with　whom　we　have　here　any　acquaintance；　but　I　never　thought　of　crying；　to　be　sure　Eloisa　and　Mrs　Marlowe　have　always　been　more　together　than　with　me；　and　have　therefore　contracted　a　kind　of　affection　for　each　other；　which　does　not　make　Tears　so　inexcusable　in　them　as　they　would　be　in　me。　　The　Marlowes　are　going　to　Town；　Cliveland　accompanies　them；　as　neither　Eloisa　nor　I　could　catch　him　I　hope　you　or　Matilda　may　have　better　Luck。　　I　know　not　when　we　shall　leave　Bristol；　Eloisa's　spirits　are　so　low　that　she　is　very　averse　to　moving；　and　yet　is　certainly　by　no　means　mended　by　her　residence　here。　　A　week　or　two　will　I　hope　determine　our　Measuresin　the　mean　time　believe　me　and　etcand　etc　Charlotte　Lutterell。



LETTER　the　EIGHTH　Miss　LUTTERELL　to　Mrs　MARLOWE　Bristol　　　　April　4th

I　feel　myself　greatly　obliged　to　you　my　dear　Emma　for　such　a　mark　of　your　affection　as　I　flatter　myself　was　conveyed　in　the　proposal　you　made　me　of　our　Corresponding；　I　assure　you　that　it　will　be　a　great　releif　to　me　to　write　to　you　and　as　long　as　my　Health　and　Spirits　will　allow　me；　you　will　find　me　a　very　constant　correspondent；　I　will　not　say　an　entertaining　one；　for　you　know　my　situation　suffciently　not　to　be　ignorant　that　in　me　Mirth　would　be　improper　and　I　know　my　own　Heart　too　well　not　to　be　sensible　that　it　would　be　unnatural。　　You　must　not　expect　news　for　we　see　no　one　with　whom　we　are　in　the　least　acquainted；　or　in　whose　proceedings　we　have　any　Interest。　　You　must　not　expect　scandal　for　by　the　same　rule　we　are　equally　debarred　either　from　hearing　or　inventing　it。You　must　expect　from　me　nothing　but　the　melancholy　effusions　of　a　broken　Heart　which　is　ever　reverting　to　the　Happiness　it　once　enjoyed　and　which　ill　supports　its　present　wretchedness。　　The　Possibility　of　being　able　to　write；　to　speak；　to　you　of　my　lost　Henry　will　be　a　luxury　to　me；　and　your　goodness　will　not　I　know　refuse　to　read　what　it　will　so　much　releive　my　Heart　to　write。　　I　once　thought　that　to　have　what　is　in　general　called　a　Freind　（I　mean　one　of　my　own　sex　to　whom　I　might　speak　with　less　reserve　than　to　any　other　person）　independant　of　my　sister　would　never　be　an　object　of　my　wishes；　but　how　much　was　I　mistaken！　　Charlotte　is　too　much　engrossed　by　two　confidential　correspondents　of　that　sort；　to　supply　the　place　of　one　to　me；　and　I　hope　you　will　not　think　me　girlishly　romantic；　when　I　say　that　to　have　some　kind　and　compassionate　Freind　who　might　listen　to　my　sorrows　without　endeavouring　to　console　me　was　what　I　had　for　some　time　wished　for；　when　our　acquaintance　with　you；　the　intimacy　which　followed　it　and　the　particular　affectionate　attention　you　paid　me　almost　from　the　first；　caused　me　to　entertain　the　flattering　Idea　of　those　attentions　being　improved　on　a　closer　acquaintance　into　a　Freindship　which；　if　you　were　what　my　wishes　formed　you　would　be　the　greatest　Happiness　I　could　be　capable　of　enjoying。　　To　find　that　such　Hopes　are　realised　is　a　satisfaction　indeed；　a　satisfaction　which　is　now　almost　the　only　one　I　can　ever　experience。I　feel　myself　so　languid　that　I　am　sure　were　you　with　me　you　would　oblige　me　to　leave　off　writing；　and　I　cannot　give　you　a　greater　proof　of　my　affection　for　you　than　by　acting；　as　I　know　you　would　wish　me　to　do；　whether　Absent　or　Present。　　I　am　my　dear　Emmas　sincere　freind　E。　L。



LETTER　the　NINTH　Mrs　MARLOWE　to　Miss　LUTTERELL　Grosvenor　Street；　April　10th

Need　I　say　my　dear　Eloisa　how　wellcome　your　letter　was　to　me　I　cannot　give　a　greater　proof　of　the　pleasure　I　received　from　it；　or　of　the　Desire　I　feel　that　our　Correspondence　may　be　regular　and　frequent　than　by　setting　you　so　good　an　example　as　I　now　do　in　answering　it　before　the　end　of　the　week。　　But　do　not　imagine　that　I　claim　any　merit　in　being　so　punctual；　on　the　contrary　I　assure　you；　that　it　is　a　far　greater　Gratification　to　me　to　write　to　you；　than　to　spend　the　Evening　either　at　a　Concert　or　a　Ball。　Mr　Marlowe　is　so　desirous　of　my　appearing　at　some　of　the　Public　places　every　evening　that　I　do　not　like　to　refuse　him；　but　at　the　same　time　so　much　wish　to　remain　at　Home；　that　independant　of　the　Pleasure　I　experience　in　devoting　any　portion　of　my　Time　to　my　Dear　Eloisa；　yet　the　Liberty　I　claim　from　having　a　letter　to　write　of　spending　an　Evening　at　home　with　my　little　Boy；　you　know　me　well　enough　to　be　sensible；　will　of　itself　be　a　sufficient　Inducement　（if　one　is　necessary）　to　my　maintaining　with　Pleasure　a　Correspondence　with　you。　　As　to　the　subject　of　your　letters　to　me；　whether　grave　or　merry；　if　they　concern　you　they　must　be　equally　interesting　to　me；　not　but　that　I　think　the　melancholy　Indulgence　of　your　own　sorrows　by　repeating　them　and　dwelling　on　them　to　me；　will　only　encourage　and　increase　them；　and　that　it　will　be　more　prudent　in　you　to　avoid　so　sad　a　subject；　but　yet　knowing　as　I　do　what　a　soothing　and　melancholy　Pleasure　it　must　afford　you；　I　cannot　prevail　on　myself　to　deny　you　so　great　an　Indulgence；　and　will　only　insist　on　your　not　expecting　me　to　encourage　you　in　it；　by　my　own　letters；　on　the　contrary　I　intend　to　fill　them　with　such　lively　Wit　and　enlivening　Humour　as　shall　even　provoke　a　smile　in　the　sweet　but　sorrowfull　countenance　of　my　Eloi