count bunker-第5章
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I produce the desired impression； and either propose at once and am accepted〃
〃H'm；〃 muttered Tulliwuddle doubtfully。
〃Or I leave things in such good train that you can propose and get accepted afterwards by letter。〃
〃That's better；〃 said Tulliwuddle。
〃Then； by a little exercise of our wits； you find an excuse for hurrying on the marriagehave it a private affair for family reasons； and so on。 You will be prevented by one excuse or another from meeting the lady till the wedding…day。 We shall choose a darkish church； you will have a plaster on your faceand the deed is done！〃
〃Not a fault can I find；〃 commented the Baron sagely。 〃Essington； I congratulate you。〃
Between his complete confidence in Essington and the Baron's unqualified commendation； Lord Tulliwuddle was carried away by the project。
〃I say； Essington； what a good fellow you are！〃 he cried。 〃You really think it will work？〃
〃What do you say； Baron？〃
〃It cannot fail； I do solemnly assure you。 Be thankful you have soch a friend； Tollyvoddle！〃
〃You don't think anybody will suspect that you aren't really me？〃
〃Does any one up at Hechnahoul know you？〃
〃No。〃
〃And no one there knows me。 They will never suspect for an instant。〃
His lordship assumed a look that would have been serious； almost impressive； had he first removed his eye… glass。 Evidently some weighty consideration had occurred to him。
〃You are an awfully clever chap； Essington；〃 he said； 〃and deuced superior to most fellows； anderall that kind of thing。 Butwellyou don't mind my saying it？〃
〃My morals？ My appearance？ Say anything you like； my dear fellow。〃
〃It's only this； that noblesse oblige； and that kind of thing； you know。〃
〃I am afraid I don't quite follow。〃
〃Well； I mean that you aren't a nobleman； and do you think you could carry things off like aahlike a Tulliwuddle？〃
Essington remained entirely serious。
〃I shall have at my elbow an adviser whose knowledge of the highest society in Europe is； without exaggeration； unequalled。 Your perfectly natural doubts will be laid at rest when I tell you that I hope to be accompanied by the Baron Rudolph von Blitzenberg。〃
The Baron could no longer contain himself。
〃Himmel！ Hurray！ My dear friend； I vill go mit you to hell！〃
〃That's very good of you；〃 said Essington； 〃but you mistake my present destination。 I merely wish your company as far as the Castle of Hechnahoul。〃
〃I gom mit so moch pleasure zat I cannot eggspress！ Tollyvoddle； be no longer afraid。 I have helped to write a book on ze noble families of Germanyzat is to say； I have contributed my portrait and some anecdote。 Our dear friend shall make no mistakes！〃
By this guarantee Lord Tulliwuddle's last doubts were completely set at rest。 His spirits rose as he perceived how happily this easy avenue would lead him out of all his troubles。 He insisted on calling for wine and pledging success to the adventure with the most resolute and confident air； and nothing but a few details remained now to be settled。 These were chiefly with regard to the precise limits up to which the duplicate Lord Tulliwuddle might advance his conquering arms。
〃You won't formally propose； will you？〃 said the first edition of that peer。
〃Certainly not； if you prefer to negotiate the surrender yourself；〃 the later impression assured him。
〃And you mustn'tweller〃
〃I shall touch nothing。〃
〃A girl might get carried away by you；〃 said the original peer a trifle doubtfully。
〃The Baron is the most scrupulous of men。 He will be by my side almost continually。 Baron； you will act as my judge； my censor； and my chaperon？〃
〃Tollyvoddle； I swear to you zat I shall use an eye like ze eagle。 He shall be so carefulach； I shall see to it！ Myself； I am a Bayard mit ze ladies； and Bonker he shall not be less so！〃
〃Thanks； Baron； thanks awfully；〃 said his lordship。 〃Now my mind is quite at rest！〃
In the vestibule of the restaurant they bade good… night to the confiding nobleman； and then turned to one another with an adventurer's smile。
〃You are sure you can leave your diplomatic duties？〃 asked Essington。
〃Zey vill be my diplomatic duties zat I go to do！ Oh； I shall prepare a leetle storydo not fear me。〃
The Baron chuckled； and then burst forth
〃Never was zere a man like you。 Oh； cunning Mistair Bonker！ And you vill give me zomezing to do in ze adventure； eh？〃
〃I promise you that； Baron。〃
As he gave this reassuring pledge； a peculiar smile stole over Mr。 Bunker's facea smile that seemed to suggest even happier possibilities than either of his distinguished friends contemplated。
CHAPTER V
It is at all times pleasant to contemplate thorough workmanship and sagacious foresight； particularly when these are allied with disinterested purpose and genuine enthusiasm。 For the next few days Mr。 Bunker； preparing to carry out to the best of his ability the delicate commission with which he had been entrusted； presented this stimulating spectacle。
Absolutely no pains were left untaken。 By the aid of some volumes lent him by Tulliwuddle he learned； and digested in a pocketbook； as much information as he thought necessary to acquire concerning the history of the noble family he was temporarily about to enter； together with notes of their slogan or war…cry （spelled phonetically to avoid the possibility of a mistake）； of their acreage； gross and net rentals； the names of their land…agents； and many other matters equally to the point。 It was further to be observed that he spared no pains to imprint these particulars in the Baron's Teutonic memorywhether to support his own in case of need； or for some more secret purpose； it were impossible to fathom。 Disguised as unconspicuous and harmless persons； they would meet in many quiet haunts whose unsuspected excellences they could guarantee from their old experience； and there mature their philanthropic plan。
Not only had its talented originator to impress the Tulliwuddle annals and statistics into his ally's eager mind； but he had to exercise the nicest tact and discernment lest the Baron's excess of zeal should trip their enterprise at the very outset。
〃To…day I have told Alicia zat my visit to Russia vill probably be vollowed by a visit to ze Emperor of China；〃 the Baron would recount with vast pride in his inventive powers。 〃And I have dropped a leetle hint zat for an envoy to be imprisoned in China is not to be surprised。 Zat vill prepare her in case I am avay longer zan ve expect。〃
〃And how did she take that intimation？〃 asked Essington； with a less congratulatory air than he had expected。
〃I did leave her in tears。〃
〃My dear Baron； fly to her to tell her you are not going to China！ She will get so devilish alarmed if you are gone a week that she'll go straight to the embassy and make inquiries。〃
He shook his head； and added in an impressive voice
〃Never lie for lying's sake； Blitzenberg。 Besides； how do you propose to forge a Chinese post…mark？〃
The Baron had laid the foundations of his Russian trip on a sound basis by requesting a friend of his in that country to post to the Baroness the bi…weekly budgets of Muscovite gossip which he intended to compose at Hechnahoul。 This； it seemed to him； would be a simple feat； particularly with his friend Bunker to assist； but he had to confess that the provision of Chinese news would certainly be more difficult。
〃Ach； vell； I shall contradict China；〃 he agreed。
It will be readily believed that what with getting up his brief； pruning the legends with which the Baron proposed to satisfy his wife and his ambassador； and purchasing an outfit suitable to the roles of peer and chieftain； this indefatigable gentleman passed three or four extremely busy days。
〃Ve most start before my dear mozzer…in…law does gom！〃 the Baron more than once impressed upon him； so that there was no moment to be wasted。
Two days before their departure Mr。 Bunker greeted his ally with a peculiarly humorous smile。
〃The pleasures of our visit to Hechnahoul are to be considerably augmented；〃 said he。 〃Tulliwuddle has only just made the discovery that his ancestral castle is let； but his tenant； in the most handsome spir
