count bunker-第3章

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〃On　the　contrary；　I　feel　as　I　should　if　I　feared　this　cigar　had　gone　out　and　then　found　it　alight　after　all。〃

〃You　say　so！　　Ah；　zen　I　will　have　more　boldness　to　confess　my　heart！　　Bonker；　ven　I　did　land　in　England　ze　leetle　thought　zat　vould　rise　vas'Ze　land　of　freedom　vunce　again！　　Here　shall　I　not　have　to　be　alvays　ze　Baron　von　Blitzenberg；　oldest　noble　in　Bavaria；　hereditary　carpet…beater　to　ze　Court！　　I　vill　disguise　and　go　mit　old　Bonker　for　a　frolic！'　〃

〃You　touch　my　tenderest　chord；　Baron！〃

〃Goot；　goot；　my　friend！〃　cried　the　Baron；　warming　to　his　work　of　confession　like　a　penitent　whose　absolution　is　promised　in　advance；　〃you　speak　ze　vords　I　love　to　hear！　　Of　course　I　vould　not　be　vicked；　and　I　vould　not　disgrace　myself；　but　I　do　need　a　leetle　exercise。　Is　it　possible？〃

Essington　sprang　up　and　enthusiastically　shook　his　hand。

〃Dear　Baron；　you　come　like　a　ray　of　sunshine　through　a　London　foglike　a　moulin　rouge　alighting　in　Carlton　House　Terrace！　　I　thought　my　own　leaves　were　yellowing；　I　now　perceive　that　was　only　an　autumnal　change。　　Spring　has　returned；　and　I　feel　like　a　green　bay　tree！〃

〃Hoch；　hoch！〃　roared　the　Baron；　to　the　great　surprise　of　two　Cabinet　Ministers　and　a　Bishop　who　were　taking　tea　at　the　other　side　of　the　room。　　〃Vat　shall　ve　do　to　show　zere　is　no　sick　feeling？〃

〃H'm；〃　reflected　Essington；　with　a　comical　look。　　〃There's　a　lot　of　scaffolding　at　the　bottom　of　St。　James's　Street。　Should　we　have　it　down　to…night？　　Or　what　do　you　say　to　a　packet　of　dynamite　in　the　two…　penny　tube？〃

The　Baron　sobered　down　a　trifle。

〃Ach；　not　so　fast；　not　qvite　so　fast；　dear　Bonker。　　Remember　I　must　not　get　into　troble　at　ze　embassy。〃

〃My　dear　fellow；　that's　your　pull。　Foreign　diplomatists　are　police…proof！〃

〃Ah；　but　my　wife！〃

〃One　stormy　hourthen　tears　and　forgiveness！〃

The　Baron　lowered　his　voice。

〃Her　mozzer　vill　visit　us　next　veek。　　I　loff　and　respect　Lady　Grillyer；　but　I　should　not　like　to　have　to　ask　her　for　forgiveness。〃

〃Yes；　she　has　rather　an　uncompromising　nose；　so　far　as　I　remember。〃

〃It　is　a　kind　nose　to　her　friends；　Bonker；〃　the　Baron　explained；　〃but　severe　towards〃

〃Myself；　for　instance；〃　laughed　Essington。　　〃Well；　what　do　you　suggest？〃

〃First；　zat　you　dine　mit　me　to…night。　　No；　I　vill　take　no　refusal！　　Listen！　　I　am　now　meeting　a　distinguished　person　on　important　international　businessdo　you　pairceive？　　Ha；　ha；　ha！　　To…night　it　vill　be　necessary　ve　most　dine　togezzer。　　I　have　an　engagement；　but　he　can　be　put　off　for　soch　a　great　person　as　the　man　I　am　now　meeting　at　ze　club！　　You　vill　gom？〃

〃I　should　have　been　delightedonly　unluckily　I　have　a　man　dining　with　me。　　I　tell　you　what！　　You　come　and　join　us！　　Will　you？〃

〃If　zat　is　ze　only　vayyes；　mit　pleasure！　　Who　is　ze　man？〃

〃Young　Tulliwuddle。　　Do　you　remember　going　to　a　dance　at　Lord　Tulliwuddle's；　some　five　and　a　half　years　ago？〃

〃Himmel！　　Ha；　ha！　　Vell　do　I　remember！〃

〃Well；　our　host　of　that　evening　died　the　other　day；　and　this　fellow　is　his　heira　second　or　third　cousin　whose　existence　was　so　displeasing　to　the　old　peer　that　he　left　him　absolutely　nothing　that　wasn't　entailed；　and　never　said　'How…do…you…do？'　to　him　in　his　life。　　In　consequence；　he　may　not　entertain　you　as　much　as　I　should　like。〃

〃If　he　is　your　friend；　I　shall　moch　enjoy　his　society！〃

〃I　am　flattered；　but　hardly　convinced。　　Tulliwuddle's　intellect　is　scarcely　of　the　sparkling　kind。　　However；　come　and　try。〃

The　hour；　the　place；　were　arranged；　a　reminiscence　or　two　exchanged；　fresh　suggestions　thrown　out　for　the　rejuvenation　of　a　Bavarian　magnate；　another　baronial　laugh　shook　the　foundations　of　the　club；　and　then；　as　the　afternoon　was　wearing　on；　the　Baron　hailed　a　cab　and　galloped　for　Belgrave　Square；　and　the　late　Mr。　Bunker　sauntered　off　along　Pall　Mall。

〃Who　can　despair　of　human　nature　while　the　Baron　von　Blitzenberg　adorns　the　earth？〃　he　reflected。　　〃The　discovery　of　champagne　and　the　invention　of　summer　holidays　were　minor　events　compared　with　his　descent　from　Olympus！〃

He　bought　a　button…hole　at　the　street　corner　and　cocked　his　hat；　more　airily　than　ever。

〃A　volcanic　eruption　may　inspire　one　to　succor　humanity；　a　wedding　to　condole　with　it；　and　a　general　election　to　warn　it　of　its　folly；　but　the　Baron　inspires　one　to　amuse！〃

Meanwhile　that　Heaven…sent　nobleman；　with　a　manner　enshrouded　in　mystery；　was　comforting　his　wife。

〃Ah；　do　not　grieve；　mine　Alicia！　　No　doubt　ze　Duke　vill　be　disappointed　not　to　see　us　to…night；　but　I　have　telegraphed。　　Ja；　I　have　said　I　had　so　important　an　affair。　　Ach；　do　not　veep！　　I　did　not　know　you　wanted　so　moch　to　dine　mit　ze　old　Duke。　　I　sopposed　you　vould　like　a　quiet　evening　at　home。　　But　anyhow　I　have　now　telegraphedand　my　leetle　dinner　mit　my　friendAch；　it　is　so　important　zat　I　most　rosh　and　get　dressed。　　Cheer　up；　my　loff！　　Good…by！〃

He　paused　in　answer　to　a　tearful　question。

〃His　name？　　Alas；　I　have　promised　not　to　say。　　You　vould　not　have　a　European　war　by　my　indiscretion？〃



CHAPTER　III

With　mirrors　reflecting　a　myriad　lights；　with　the　hum　of　voices；　the　rustle　of　satin　and　lace；　the　hurrying　steps　of　waiters；　the　bubbling　of　laughter；　of　life；　and　of　wineall　these　on　each　side　of　them；　and　a　plate；　a　foaming　glass；　and　a　friend　in　front；　the　Baron　and　his　host　smiled　radiantly　down　upon　less　favored　mortals。

〃Tulliwuddle　is　very　late；〃　said　Essington；　〃but　he's　a　devilish　casual　gentleman　in　all　matters。〃

〃I　am　selfish　enoff　to　hope　he　vill　not　gom　at　all！〃　exclaimed　the　Baron。

〃Unfortunately　he　has　had　the　doubtful　taste　to　conceive　a　curiously　high　opinion　of　myself。　　I　am　afraid　he　won't　desert　us。　　But　I　don't　propose　that　we　shall　suffer　for　his　slackness。　　Bring　the　fish；　waiter。〃

The　Baron　was　happy；　and　that　is　to　say　that　his　laughter　re…echoed　from　the　shining　mirrors；　his　tongue　was　loosed；　his　heart　expanded；　his　glass　seemed　ever　empty。

〃Ach；　how　to　make　zis　joie　de　vivre　to　last　beyond　to…　night！〃　he　cried。　　〃May　ze　Teufel　fly　off　mit　of　offeecial　duties　and　receptions　andand　even　mit　my　vife　for　a　few　days。〃

〃My　dear　Baron！〃

〃To　Alicia！〃　cried　the　Baron　hastily；　draining　his　glass　at　the　toast。　　〃But　some　fun　first！〃

　　　　　〃　'I　could　not　love　thee；　dear；　so　well；　　　　　　　　　　Loved　I　not　humor　more！'　〃

misquoted　his　host　gaily。　　〃Ah！〃　he　added；　〃here　comes　Tulliwuddle。〃

A　young　man；　with　his　hands　in　his　pockets　and　an　eyeglass　in　his　eye；　strolled　up　to　their　table。

〃I'm　beastly　sorry　for　being　so　late；〃　said　he；　〃but　I'm　hanged　if　I　could　make　up　my　mind　whether　to　risk　wearing　one　of　these　frilled　shirt…fronts。　　It's　not　bad；　I　think；　with　one's　tie　tied　this　way。　　What　do　you　say？〃

〃It　suits　you　like　a　halo；〃　Essington　assured　him。　　〃But　let　me　introduce　you　to　my　friend　the　Baron　Rudolph　von　Blitzenberg。〃

Lord　Tulliwuddle　bowed　politely　and　took　the　empty　chair；　but　it　was　evident　that　his　attention　could　not　concentrate　itself　upon　sublunary　matters　till　the　shirt…　front　had　been　critically　inspected　and　appreciatively　praised　by　his　host。　　Indeed；　it　was　quite　clear　that　Essington　had　not　exaggerated　his　regard　for　himself。　　This　admiration　was　perhaps　the　most　pleasing　feature　to　be　noted　on　a　brief　acquaintance　with　his　lordship。　　He　was　obviously　intended　neither　for　a　strong　man　of　action　nor　a　great　man　of　thought。　　A　tolerable　appearance　and　considerable　amiability　he　might　no　doubt　claim；　but　unfortunately　the　effort　to　retain　his　eye…　glass　had　apparently　the　effect　of　forcing　his　mouth　chronically　open；　which　somewhat　marred　his　appearance；　while　his　natural　good…humor　lapsed　too　frequently　into　the　lamentations　of　an　idle　man　that　Providence　neglected　him　or　that　his　creditors　were　too　attentive。

It　happens；　however；　that　it　is　rather　his　circumstances　than　his　person　which　concern　this　history。　　And；　briefly；　these　were　something　in　this　sort。　　Born　a　poor　relation　and　guided　by　no　strong　hand；　he　had　gradually　seen　himself；　as　Reverend　uncles　and　Right　Honorable　cousins　died　of；　approach　nearer　and　nearer　to　the　ancient　barony　of　Tulliwuddle　（created　1475　in　the　peerage　of　Scotland）；　until　this　year　he　had　actually　succeeded　to　it。　　But　after　his　first　delight　in　this　piece　of　good　fo