count bunker-第27章

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〃My　friends！〃　said　he　with　amorous　artfulness。

〃Do　you　mean　Count　Bunker？　　He　is　ze　only　FRIEND　I　have　here　mit　me。〃

〃The　ONLY　friend？　　Indeed！〃

〃Zat　is　since　I　see　you　vill　not　treat　me　as　soch。〃

Upon　these　lines　a　pretty　little　passage…of…arms　ensued；　the　Baron　employing　with　considerable　effect　the　various　blandishments　of　which　he　was　admitted　a　past　master；　the　heiress　modifying　her　resentment　by　degrees　under　their　insidious　influence。　　Still　she　would　not　entirely　quit　her　troublesome　position；　till　at　last　a　happy　inspiration　came　to　reinforce　his　assaults。　　Why；　he　reflected；　should　an　entertainment　that　would　require　a　considerable　outlay　of　money　and　trouble　serve　to　win　the　affections　of　only　one　girl？　　With　the　same　espenditure　of　ammunition　it　might　be　possible　to　double　the　bag。

〃Miss　Maddison；〃　he　said　with　a　regretful　air；　〃I　did　come　here　to…day　in　ze　hopeBut　ach！〃

So　happily　had　he　succeeded　in　whetting　her　curiosity　that　she　beggednay；　insistedthat　he　should　finish　his　sentence。

〃If　you　had　been　kind　I　did　hope　zat　you　vould　allow　me　to　give　in　your　honor　an　entertainment　at　my　castle。〃

〃An　entertainment！〃　she　cried；　with　a　marked　increase　of　interest。

〃Jost　a　leetle　EXPOSITION　of　ze　Highland　sport；　mit　bagpipes　and　caber　and　so　forth；　unvorthy　of　your　notice　perhaps；　bot　ze　best　I　can　do。〃

Eleanor　clapped　her　hands　enthusiastically。

〃I　should　just　love　it！〃

The　triumphant　diplomatist　smiled　complacently。

〃Bonker　vill　arrange　it　all　nicely；〃　he　said　to　himself。

And　there　rose　in　his　fancy　such　a　pleasing　and　gorgeous　picture　of　himself　in　the　panoply　of　the　North；　hurling　a　hammer　skywards　amidst　the　plaudits　of　his　clan　and　the　ravished　murmurs　of　the　ladies；　that　he　could　not　but　congratulate　himself　upon　this　last　master…stroke　of　policy。　　For　if　instead　of　ladies　there　were　only　one　lady；　exactly　half　the　pleasure　would　be　lacking。　　So　generous　were　this　nobleman's　instincts！

During　their　drive　to　Lincoln　Lodge　the　Baron　had　hesitated　to　broach　his　new　project　to　his　friend　for　the　very　reason　that；　after　the　glow　of　his　first　enthusiastic　proposal　to　Eva　was　over；　it　seemed　to　him　a　vast　undertaking　for　a　limited　object；　but　driving　home　he　lost　no　time　in　confiding　his　scheme　to　the　Count。

〃The　deuce！〃　cried　Bunker。　　〃That　will　mean　three　more　days　here　at　least！〃

〃Vat　is　tree　days；　mine　Bonker？〃

〃My　dear　Baron；　I　am　the　last　man　in　the　world　to　drop　an　unpleasant　hint；　yet　I　can't　help　thinking　we　have　been　so　unconscionably　lucky　up　till　now　that　it　would　be　wise　to　retire　before　an　accident　befalls　us。〃

〃Vat　kind　of　accident？〃

〃The　kind　that　may　happen　to　the　best　regulated　adventurer。〃

The　Baron　pondered。　　When　Bunker　suggested　caution　it　indeed　seemed　time　to　beat　a　retreat；　yet　those　two　charming　ladies；　and　that　alluring　tartan　tableau！

〃Ach；　let　ze　devil　take　ze　man　zat　is　afraid！〃　he　exclaimed　at　last。　　〃Bonker；　it　vill　be　soch　fun！〃

〃Watching　you　complete　two　conquests？〃

〃Be　not　impatient；　good　Bonker！〃

〃My　dear　fellow；　if　you　could　find　me　one　girl　even　one　would　content　mewho　would　condescend　to　turn　her　eyes　from　the　dazzling　spectacle　of　Baron　Tulliwuddle；　and　cast　them　for　so　much　as　half　an　hour　a　day　upon　his　obscure　companion；　I　might　see　some　fun　in　it　too。〃

The　Baron；　with　an　air　of　patronizing　kindness　that　made　his　fellow…adventurer's　lot　none　the　easier　to　bear；　answered　reassuringly

〃Bot　I　shall　leave　all　ze　preparations　to　be　made　by　you；　you　vill　not　have　time　zen　to　feel　lonely。〃

〃Thank　you；　Baron；　you　have　the　knack　of　conferring　the　most　princely　favors。〃

〃Ach；　I　am　used　to　do　so；〃　said　the　Baron　simply；　and　then　burst　out　eagerly；　〃Some　feat　you　must　design　for　me　at　ze　sports　so　zat　I　can　show　zem　my　strength；　eh？〃

〃With　the　caber；　for　instance？〃

The　Baron　had　seen　the　caber　tossed；　and　he　shook　his　head。

〃He　is　too　big。〃

〃I　might　fit　a　strong　spring　in　one　end。〃

But　the　Baron　still　seemed　disinclined。　　His　friend　reflected；　and　then　suddenly　exclaimed

〃The　village　doctor　keeps　some　chemical　apparatus；　I　believe！　　You'll　throw　the　hammer；　Baron。　　I　can　manage　it。〃

The　Baron　appeared　mystified　by　the　juxtaposition　of　ideas；　but　serenely　expressed　himself　as　ready　to　entrust　this　and　all　other　arrangements　for　the　Hechnahoul　Gathering　to　the　ingenious　Count；　as　some　small　compensation　for　so　conspicuously　outshining　him。



CHAPTER　XXIV

The　day　of　the　Gathering　broke　gray　and　still；　and　the　Baron；　who　was　no　weather　prophet；　declared　gloomily

〃It　vill　rain。　　Donnerwetter！〃

A　couple　of　hours　later　the　sun　was　out；　and　the　distant　hills　shimmering　in　the　heat　haze。

〃Himmel！　　Ve　are　alvays　lucky；　Bonker！〃　he　cried；　and　with　gleeful　energy　brandished　his　dumb…bells　in　final　preparation　for　his　muscular　exploits。

〃We　certainly　have　escaped　hanging　so　far；〃　said　the　Count；　as　he　drew　on　the　trews　which　became　his　well…turned　leg　so　happily。

His　arrangements　were　admirable　and　complete；　and　by　twelve　o'clock　the　castle　lawn　looked　as　barbarically　gay　as　the　colored　supplement　to　an　illustrated　paper。　　Pipes　were　skirling；　skirts　fluttering；　flags　flapping；　and　as　invitations　had　been　issued　to　various　magnates　in　the　district；　whether　acquainted　with　the　present　peer　or　not；　there　were　to　be　seen　quite　a　number　of　dignified　personages　in　divers　shades　of　tartan；　and　parasols　of　all　the　hues　in　the　rainbow。　　The　Baron　was　in　his　element。　　He　judged　the　bagpipe　competition　himself；　and　held　one　end　of　the　tape　that　measured　the　jumps；　besides　delighting　the　whole　assembled　company　by　his　affability　and　good　spirits。

〃Your　performance　comes　next；　I　see；〃　said　Eleanor　Maddison；　throwing　him　her　brightest　smile。　　〃I　can't　tell　you　how　I　am　looking　forward　to　seeing　you　do　it！〃

The　Baron　started　and　looked　at　the　programme　in　her　hand。　　He　had　been　too　excited　to　study　it　carefully　before；　and　now　for　the　first　time　he　saw　the　announcement　（in　large　type）

〃7。　Lord　Tulliwuddle　throws　the　85…lb。　hammer。〃

The　sixth　event　was　nearly　through；　and　there　there　evidently　was　the　hammer　in　question　being　carried　into　the　ring　by　no　fewer　than　three　stalwart　Highlanders！　　The　Baron　had　learned　enough　of　the　pastimes　of　his　adopted　country　to　be　aware　that　this　gigantic　weapon　was　something　like　four　times　as　heavy　as　any　hammer　hitherto　thrown　by　the　hardiest　Caledonian。

〃Teufel！　　Bonker　vill　make　a　fool　of　me；〃　he　muttered；　and　hastily　bursting　from　the　circle　of　spectators；　hurried　towards　the　Count；　who　appeared　to　be　busied　in　keeping　the　curious　away　from　the　Chieftain's　hammer。

〃Bonker；　vat　means　zis？〃　he　demanded。

〃Your　hammer；〃　smiled　the　Count。

〃A　hammer　zat　takes　tree　men〃

〃Hush！〃　whispered　the　Count。　　〃They　are　only　holding　it　down！〃

The　Baron　laid　his　hand　upon　the　round　enormous　head；　and　started。

〃It　is　not　iron！〃　he　gasped。　　〃It　is　of　rubber。〃

〃Filled　with　hydrogen；〃　breathed　the　Count　in　his　ear。　　〃Just　swing　it　once　and　let　goand；　I　say；　mind　it　doesn't　carry　you　away　with　it。〃

The　chief　bared　his　arms　and　seized　the　handle；　his　three　clansmen　let　go；　and　then；　with　what　seemed　to　the　breathless　spectators　to　be　a　merely　trifling　effort　of　strength；　he　dismissed　the　projectile　upon　the　most　astounding　journey　ever　seen　even　in　that　land　of　brawny　hammer…hurlers。　　Up；　up；　up　it　soared；　over　the　trees；　high　above　the　topmost　turret　of　the　castle；　and　still　on　and　on　and　ever　upwards　till　it　became　a　mere　speck　in　the　zenith；　and　at　last　faded　utterly　from　sight。

Then；　and　not　till　then；　did　the　pent…up　applause　break　out　into　such　a　roar　of　cheering　as　Hechnahoul　had　never　heard　before　in　all　its　long　history。

〃Eighty…five　pounds　of　pig…iron　gone　straight　to　heaven！〃　gasped　the　Silver　King。　　〃Guess　that　beats　all　records！〃

〃America　must　wake　up！〃　frowned　Ri。

Meanwhile　the　Baron；　after　bowing　in　turn　towards　all　points　of　the　compass；　turned　confidentially　to　his　friend。

〃Vill　not　ze　men　that　carried　it？〃

〃I've　told　'em　you'd　give　'em　a　couple　of　sovereigns　apiece。〃

The　Baron　came　from　an　economical　nation。

〃Two　to　each！〃

〃My　dear　fellow；　wasn't　it　worth　it？〃

The　Baron　grasped　his　hand。

〃J