count bunker-第24章

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。〃

Father　and　son　glanced　at　one　another。

〃Your　delicacy　does　you　honor；　very　great　honor；〃　said　Mr。　Maddison；　〃but　business　is　business；　Lord　Tulliwuddle；　and　I　should　like　to　hear　your　proposition　more　precisely　stated。　　In　fact；　sir；　I　like　to　know　just　where　I　am。〃

〃That's　just　about　right；〃　assented　Ri。

〃I　vould　perhaps　vish　to　marry　her。〃

〃Perhaps！〃　exclaimed　the　two　together。

Again　the　Count　adroitly　interposed

〃You　mean　that　you　do　not　intend　to　thrust　your　attentions　upon　an　unwilling　lady？〃

〃Yes；　yes；　zat　is　vat　I　mean。〃

〃I　see；〃　said　Mr。　Maddison　slowly。　　〃H'm；　yes。〃

〃Sounds　what　you　Scotch　call　'canny；'　〃　commented　Ri　shrewdly。

〃Well；〃　resumed　the　millionaire；　〃I　have　nothing　to　say　against　that；　providedprovided；　I　say；　that　you　stipulate　to　marry　the　lady　so　long　as　she　has　no　objections　to　you。　　No　fooling　aroundthat's　all　we　want　to　see　to。　　Our　time；　sir；　is　too　valuable。〃

〃That　is　so；〃　said　Ri。

The　Baron's　color　rose；　and　a　look　of　displeasure　came　into　his　eyes；　but　before　he　had　time　to　make　a　retort　that　might　have　wrecked　his　original's　hopes；　Bunker　said　quickly

〃Tulliwuddle　places　himself　in　your　hands；　with　the　implicit　confidence　that　one　gentleman　reposes　in　another。〃

Gulping　down　his　annoyance；　the　Baron　assented

〃Yes；　I　vill　do　zat。〃

Again　father　and　son　looked　at　one　another；　and　this　time　exchanged　a　nod。

〃That；　sir；　will　satisfy　us；〃　said　Mr。　Maddison。　　〃Ri；　you　may　turn　off　the　phonograph。〃

And　thereupon　the　cessation　of　a　loud　buzzing　sound；　which　the　visitors　had　hitherto　attributed　to　flies；　showed　that　their　host　now　considered　he　had　received　a　sufficient　guarantee　of　his　lordship's　honorable　intentions。

〃So　far；　so　good；〃　resumed　Mr。　Maddison。　　〃I　may　now　inform　you；　Lord　Tulliwuddle；　that　the　reports　about　you　which　I　have　been　able　to　gather　read　kind　of　mixed；　and　before　consenting　to　your　reception　within　my　daughter's　boudoir　we　should　feel　obliged　if　you　would　satisfy　us　that　the　worst　of　them　are　not　trueor；　at　least；　sir；　exaggerated。〃

This　time　the　Baron　could　not　restrain　an　exclamation　of　displeasure。

〃Vat；　sir！〃　he　cried；　addressing　the　millionaire。　　〃Do　you　examine　me　on　my　life！〃

〃No；　sir；〃　said　Ri；　frowning　his　most　determined　frown。　　〃It　is　to　ME　you　will　be　kind　enough　to　give　any　explanation　you　have　to　offer！　　Dad　may　be　the　spokesman；　but　I　am　the　inspirer　of　these　interrogations。　　My　sister；　sir；　the　purest　girl　in　America；　the　most　beautiful　creature　beneath　the　star…spangled　banner　of　Columbia；　is　not　going　to　be　the　companion　of　dissolute　idleness　and　gilded　dishonornot；　sir；　if　_I_　know　it。〃

Too　confounded　by　this　unusual　warning　to　think　of　any　adequate　retort；　the　Baron　could　only　stare　his　sensations；　while　Mr。　Maddison；　taking　up　the　conversation　the　instant　his　son　had　ceased；　proceeded　in　a　deliberate　and　impressive　voice　to　say

〃Yes；　sir；　my　sonand　I　associate　myself　with　him　my　son　and　I；　sir；　would　be　happy　to　learn　that　it　is　NOT　the　case　as　here　stated〃　（he　glanced　at　a　paper　in　his　hand）；　〃namely；　Item　1；　that　you　sup　rather　too　frequently　with　ladiesI　beg　your　pardon；　Count　Bunker；　for　introducing　the　themewith　ladies　of　the　theatrical　profession。〃

〃I！〃　gasped　the　Baron。　　〃I　do　only　vish　I　sometimes　had　ze　cha〃

〃Tulliwuddle！〃　interrupted　the　Count。　　〃Don't　let　your　natural　indignation　carry　you　away！　　Mr。　Maddison；　that　statement　is　not　true。　　I　can　vouch　for　it。〃

〃Ach；　of　course　it　is　not　true；〃　said　the　Baron　more　calmly；　as　he　began　to　realize　that　it　was　not　his　own　character　that　was　being　aspersed。

〃I　am　very　glad　to　hear　it；〃　continued　Mr。　Maddison；　who　apparently　did　not　share　the　full　austerity　of　his　son's　views；　since　without　further　question　he　hurried　on　to　the　next　point。

〃Item　2；　sir；　states　that　at　least　two　West　End　firms　are　threatening　you　with　proceedings　if　you　do　not　discharge　their　accounts　within　a　reasonable　time。〃

〃A　lie！〃　declared　the　Baron　emphatically。

〃Will　you　be　so　kind　as　to　favor　us　with　the　name　of　the　individual　who　is　thus　libelling　his　lordship？〃　demanded　the　Count　with　a　serious　air。

Mr。　Maddison　hastily　put　the　paper　back　in　his　pocket；　and　with　a　glance　checked　his　son's　gesture　of　protest。

〃Guess　we'd　better　pass　on　to　the　next　thing；　Ri。　　I　told　you　it　wasn't　any　darned　use　just　asking。　　But　you　boys　always　think　you　know　better　than　your　Poppas；〃　said　he；　and　then；　turning　to　the　Count；　〃It　isn't　worth　while　troubling；　Count；　I'll　see　that　these　reports　get　contradicted；　if　I　have　to　buy　up　a　daily　paper　and　issue　it　at　a　halfpenny。　　Yes；　sir；　you　can　leave　it　to　me。〃

The　Count　glanced　at　his　friend；　and　they　exchanged　a　grave　look。

〃Again　we　place　ourselves　in　your　hands；〃　said　Bunker。

Though　considerably　impressed　with　these　repeated　evidences　of　confidence　on　the　part　of　two　such　important　personages；　their　host　nevertheless　maintained　something　of　his　inquisitorial　air　as　he　proceeded

〃For　my　own　satisfaction；　Lord　Tulliwuddle；　and　meaning　to　convey　no　aspersion　whatsoever　upon　your　character；　I　would　venture　to　inquire　what　are　your　views　upon　some　of　the　current　topics。　　Take　any　one　you　like；　sir；　so　long　as　it's　good　and　solid；　and　let　me　hear　what　you　have　to　say　about　it。　　What　you　favor　us　with　will　not　be　repeated　beyond　this　room；　but　merely　regarded　by　my　son　and　myself　as　proving　that　we　are　getting　no　dunder…headed　dandy　for　our　Eleanor；　but　an　article　of　real　substantial　valuethe　kind　of　thing　they　might　make　into　a　Lord…lieutenant　or　a　Viceroy　in　a　bad　year。〃

Tempting　in　every　way　as　this　suggestion　sounded；　his　lordship　nevertheless　appeared　to　find　a　little　initial　difficulty　in　choosing　a　topic。

〃Speak　out；　sir；〃　said　Mr。　Maddison　in　an　encouraging　tone。　　〃Our　standard　for　noblemen　isn't　anything　remarkably　high。　　With　a　duke　I'd　be　content　with　just　a　few　dates　and　something　about　model　cottages；　and；　though　a　baron　ought　to　know　a　little　more　than　that；　still　we'll　count　these　feudal　bagpipers　and　that　ancestral　hop…scotch　performance　as　a　kind　of　set…　off　to　your　credit。　　Suppose　you　just　say　a　few　words　on　the　future　of　the　Anglo…Saxon　race。　　What　you've　learned　from　the　papers　will　do；　so　long　as　you　seem　to　understand　it。〃

Perceiving　that　his　Teutonic　friend　looked　a　trifle　dismayed　at　this　selection；　Count　Bunker　suggested　the　Triple　Alliance　as　an　alternative。

〃That　needs　more　facts；　I　guess；〃　said　the　millionaire；　〃but　it　will　be　all　the　more　creditable　if　you　can　manage　it。〃

The　Baron　cleared　his　throat　to　begin；　and　as　he　happened　（as　the　Count　was　well　aware）　to　have　the　greatest　enthusiasm　for　this　policy；　and　to　have　recently　read　the　thirteen　volumes　of　Professor　Bungstrumpher　on　the　subject；　he　delivered　a　peroration　so　remarkable　alike　for　its　fervor；　its　facts；　and　its　phenomenal　length；　that　when；　upon　a　gentle　hint　from　the　Count；　he　at　last　paused；　all　traces　of　objection　had　vanished　from　the　minds　of　Darius　P。　Maddison；　senior　and　junior。

〃I　need　no　longer　detain　you；　Lord　Tulliwuddle；〃　said　the　millionaire　respectfully。　　〃Ri；　fetch　your　sister　into　her　room。　　Your　lordship；　I　have　received　an　intellectual　treat。　　I　am　very　deeply　gratified；　sir。　　Allow　me　to　conduct　you　to　my　daughter's　boudoir。〃

Flushed　with　his　exertions　and　his　triumph　though　the　Baron　was；　he　yet　remembered　so　vividly　the　ordeal　preceding　the　oration　that　as　they　went　he　whispered　in　his　friend's　ear

〃Ah；　Bonker；　stay　mit　me；　I　pray　you！　　If　she　should　ask　more　questions！

〃Mr。　Maddison；　ze　Count　will　stay　mit　me。〃

Though　a　little　surprised　at　this　arrangement；　which　scarcely　accorded　with　his　lordship's　virile　appearance　and　dashing　air；　Mr。　Maddison　was　by　this　time　too　favorably　disposed　to　question　the　wisdom　of　any　suggestion　he　might　make；　and　accordingly　the　two　friends　found　themselves　closeted　together　in　Miss　Maddison's　sanctum　awaiting　the　appearance　of　the　heiress。

〃Shall　I　remain　through　the　entire　interview？〃　asked　the　Count。

〃Oh　yes；　mine　Bonker；　you　most！　　Orvell；　soppose　it　gets　unnecessary　zen　vill　I　cry　'By　ze　Gad！'　and　you　vill　know　to　go。〃

〃　'By　the　Gad'？　　I　see。〃

〃Orvell；　not　ze　first　time；　but　if　I　say　it　tree　times；　zen　vill