the jacket (the star-rover)-第68章

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stirred　when　I　slew　Professor　Haskell　in　the　laboratory　at　the

University　of　California。　　He　was　a　man。　　I　was　a　man。　　And　there

was　a　woman　beautiful。　　Do　you　understand？　　She　was　a　woman　and　I

was　a　man　and　a　lover；　and　all　the　heredity　of　love　was　mine　up　from

the　black　and　squalling　jungle　ere　love　was　love　and　man　was　man。



Oh；　ay；　it　is　nothing　new。　　Often；　often；　in　that　long　past　have　I

given　life　and　honour；　place　and　power　for　love。　　Man　is　different

from　woman。　　She　is　close　to　the　immediate　and　knows　only　the　need

of　instant　things。　　We　know　honour　above　her　honour；　and　pride

beyond　her　wildest　guess　of　pride。　　Our　eyes　are　far…visioned　for

star…gazing；　while　her　eyes　see　no　farther　than　the　solid　earth

beneath　her　feet；　the　lover's　breast　upon　her　breast；　the　infant

lusty　in　the　hollow　of　her　arm。　　And　yet；　such　is　our　alchemy

compounded　of　the　ages；　woman　works　magic　in　our　dreams　and　in　our

veins；　so　that　more　than　dreams　and　far　visions　and　the　blood　of

life　itself　is　woman　to　us；　who；　as　lovers　truly　say；　is　more　than

all　the　world。　　Yet　is　this　just；　else　would　man　not　be　man；　the

fighter　and　the　conqueror；　treading　his　red　way　on　the　face　of　all

other　and　lesser　lifefor；　had　man　not　been　the　lover；　the　royal

lover；　he　could　never　have　become　the　kingly　fighter。　　We　fight

best；　and　die　best；　and　live　best；　for　what　we　love。



I　am　that　one　man。　　I　see　myself　the　many　selves　that　have　gone　into

the　constituting　of　me。　　And　ever　I　see　the　woman；　the　many　women；

who　have　made　me　and　undone　me；　who　have　loved　me　and　whom　I　have

loved。



I　remember；　oh；　long　ago　when　human　kind　was　very　young；　that　I　made

me　a　snare　and　a　pit　with　a　pointed　stake　upthrust　in　the　middle

thereof；　for　the　taking　of　Sabre…Tooth。　　Sabre…Tooth；　long…fanged

and　long…haired；　was　the　chiefest　peril　to　us　of　the　squatting

place；　who　crouched　through　the　nights　over　our　fires　and　by　day

increased　the　growing　shell…bank　beneath　us　by　the　clams　we　dug　and

devoured　from　the　salt　mud…flats　beside　us。



And　when　the　roar　and　the　squall　of　Sabre…Tooth　roused　us　where　we

squatted　by　our　dying　embers；　and　I　was　wild　with　far　vision　of　the

proof　of　the　pit　and　the　stake；　it　was　the　woman；　arms　about　me；

leg…twining；　who　fought　with　me　and　restrained　me　not　to　go　out

through　the　dark　to　my　desire。　　She　was　part…clad；　for　warmth　only；

in　skins　of　animals；　mangy　and　fireburnt；　that　I　had　slain；　she　was

swart　and　dirty　with　camp　smoke；　unwashed　since　the　spring　rains；

with　nails　gnarled　and　broken；　and　hands　that　were　calloused　like

footpads　and　were　more　like　claws　than　like　hands；　but　her　eyes　were

blue　as　the　summer　sky　is；　as　the　deep　sea　is；　and　there　was　that　in

her　eyes；　and　in　her　clasped　arms　about　me；　and　in　her　heart　beating

against　mine；　that　withheld　me　。　。　。　though　through　the　dark　until

dawn；　while　Sabre…Tooth　squalled　his　wrath　and　his　agony；　I　could

hear　my　comrades　snickering　and　sniggling　to　their　women　in　that　I

had　not　the　faith　in　my　emprise　and　invention　to　venture　through　the

night　to　the　pit　and　the　stake　I　had　devised　for　the　undoing　of

Sabre…Tooth。　　But　my　woman；　my　savage　mate　held　me；　savage　that　I

was；　and　her　eyes　drew　me；　and　her　arms　chained　me；　and　her　twining

legs　and　heart　beating　to　mine　seduced　me　from　my　far　dream　of

things；　my　man's　achievement；　the　goal　beyond　goals；　the　taking　and

the　slaying　of　Sabre…Tooth　on　the　stake　in　the　pit。



Once　I　wan　Ushu；　the　archer。　　I　remember　it　well。　　For　I　was　lost

from　my　own　people；　through　the　great　forest；　till　I　emerged　on　the

flat　lands　and　grass　lands；　and　was　taken　in　by　a　strange　people；

kin　in　that　their　skin　was　white；　their　hair　yellow；　their　speech

not　too　remote　from　mine。　　And　she　was　Igar；　and　I　drew　her　as　I

sang　in　the　twilight；　for　she　was　destined　a　race…mother；　and　she

was　broad…built　and　full…dugged；　and　she　could　not　but　draw　to　the

man　heavy…muscled；　deep…chested；　who　sang　of　his　prowess　in　man…

slaying　and　in　meat…getting；　and　so；　promised　food　and　protection　to

her　in　her　weakness　whilst　she　mothered　the　seed　that　was　to　hunt

the　meat　and　live　after　her。



And　these　people　knew　not　the　wisdom　of　my　people；　in　that　they

snared　and　pitted　their　meat　and　in　battle　used　clubs　and　stone

throwing…sticks　and　were　unaware　of　the　virtues　of　arrows　swift…

flying；　notched　on　the　end　to　fit　the　thong　of　deer…sinew；　well…

twisted；　that　sprang　into　straightness　when　released　to　the　spring

of　the　ask…stick　bent　in　the　middle。



And　while　I　sang；　the　stranger　men　laughed　in　the　twilight。　　And

only　she；　Igar；　believed　and　had　faith　in　me。　　I　took　her　alone　to

the　hunting；　where　the　deer　sought　the　water…hole。　　And　my　bow

twanged　and　sang　in　the　covert；　and　the　deer　fell　fast…stricken；　and

the　warm　meat　was　sweet　to　us；　and　she　was　mine　there　by　the　water…

hole。



And　because　of　Igar　I　remained　with　the　strange　men。　　And　I　taught

them　the　making　of　bows　from　the　red　and　sweet…smelling　wood　like

unto　cedar。　　And　I　taught　them　to　keep　both　eyes　open；　and　to　aim

with　the　left　eye；　and　to　make　blunt　shafts　for　small　game；　and

pronged　shafts　of　bone　for　the　fish　in　the　clear　water；　and　to　flake

arrow…heads　from　obsidian　for　the　deer　and　the　wild　horse；　the　elk

and　old　Sabre…Tooth。　　But　the　flaking　of　stone　they　laughed　at；　till

I　shot　an　elk　through　and　through；　the　flaked　stone　standing　out　and

beyond；　the　feathered　shaft　sunk　in　its　vitals；　the　whole　tribe

applauding。



I　was　Ushu；　the　archer；　and　Igar　was　my　woman　and　mate。　　We　laughed

under　the　sun　in　the　morning；　when　our　man…child　and　woman…child；

yellowed　like　honey…bees；　sprawled　and　rolled　in　the　mustard；　and　at

night　she　lay　close　in　my　arms；　and　loved　me；　and　urged　me；　because

of　my　skill　at　the　seasoning　of　woods　and　the　flaking　of　arrow…

heads；　that　I　should　stay　close　by　the　camp　and　let　the　other　men

bring　to　me　the　meat　from　the　perils　of　hunting。　　And　I　listened；

and　grew　fat　and　short…breathed；　and　in　the　long　nights；　unsleeping；

worried　that　the　men　of　the　stranger　tribe　brought　me　meat　for　my

wisdom　and　honour；　but　laughed　at　my　fatness　and　undesire　for　the

hunting　and　fighting。



And　in　my　old　age；　when　our　sons　were　man…grown　and　our　daughters

were　mothers；　when　up　from　the　southland　the　dark　men；　flat…browed；

kinky…headed；　surged　like　waves　of　the　sea　upon　us　and　we　fled　back

before　them　to　the　hill…slopes；　Igar；　like　my　mates　far　before　and

long　after；　leg…twining；　arm…clasping；　unseeing　far　visions；　strove

to　hold　me　aloof　from　the　battle。



And　I　tore　myself　from　her；　fat　and　short…breathed；　while　she　wept

that　no　longer　I　loved　her；　and　I　went　out　to　the　night…fighting　and

dawn…fighting；　where；　to　the　singing　of　bowstrings　and　the　shrilling

of　arrows；　feathered；　sharp…pointed；　we　showed　them；　the　kinky…

heads；　the　skill　of　the　killing　and　taught　them　the　wit　and　the

willing　of　slaughter。



And　as　I　died　them　at　the　end　of　the　fighting；　there　were　death

songs　and　singing　about　me；　and　the　songs　seemed　to　sing　as　these

the　words　I　have　written　when　I　was　Ushu；　the　archer；　and　Igar；　my

mate…woman；　leg…twining；　arm…clasping；　would　have　held　me　back　from

the　battle。



Once；　and　heaven　alone　knows　when；　save　that　it　was　in　the　long　ago

when　man　was　young；　we　lived　beside　great　swamps；　where　the　hills

drew　down　close　to　the　wide；　sluggish　river；　and　where　our　women

gathered　berries　and　roots；　and　there　were　herds　of　deer；　of　wild

horses；　of　antelope；　and　of　elk；　that　we　men　slew　with　arrows　or

trapped　in　the　pits　or　hill…pockets。　　From　the　river　we　caught　fish

in　nets　twisted　by　the　women　of　the　bark　of　young　trees。



I　was　a　man；　eager　and　curious　as　the　antelope　when　we　lured　it　by

waving　grass　clumps　where　we　lay　hidden　in　the　thick　of　the　grass。

The　wild　rice　grew　in　the　swamp；　rising　sheer　from　the　water　on　the

edges　of　the　channels。　　Each　morning　the　blackbirds　awoke　us　with

their　chatter　as　they　left　their　roo