their silver wedding journey v3-第40章

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which　he　had　sometimes　wearied　March　by　celebrating；　but　she　was　still
the　most　brilliant　intelligence；　and　her　charm　seemed　only　to　have　grown
with　his　perception　of　its　wilful　limitations。　　He　did　not　want　to　talk
about　her　so　much；　he　wanted　rather　to　talk　about　Rose；　his　health；　his
education；　his　nature；　and　what　was　best　to　do　for　him。　　The　two　were　on
terms　of　a　confidence　and　affection　which　perpetually　amused　Mrs。　Kenby；
but　which　left　the　sympathetic　witness　nothing　to　desire　in　their
relation。

They　all　came　to　the　train　when　the　Marches　started　up　to　London；　and
stood　waving　to　them　as　they　pulled　out　of　the　station。　　〃Well；　I　can't
see　but　that's　all　right；〃　he　said　as　he　sank　back　in　his　seat　with　a
sigh　of　relief。　　〃I　never　supposed　we　should　get　out　of　their　marriage
half　so　well；　and　I　don't　feel　that　you　quite　made　the　match　either；　my
dear。〃

She　was　forced　to　agree　with　him　that　the　Kenbys　seemed　happy　together；
and　that　there　was　nothing　to　fear　for　Rose　in　their　happiness。　　He　would
be　as　tenderly　cared　for　by　Kenby　as　he　could　have　been　by　his　mother；
and　far　more　judiciously。　　She　owned　that　she　had　trembled　for　him　till
she　had　seen　them　all　together；　and　now　she　should　never　tremble　again。

〃Well？〃　March　prompted；　at　a　certain　inconclusiveness　in　her　tone　rather
than　her　words。

〃Well；　you　can　see　that　it；　isn't　ideal。〃

〃Why　isn't　it　ideal？　　I　suppose　you　think　that　the　marriage　of　Burnamy
and　Agatha　Triscoe　will　be　ideal；　with　their　ignorances　and　inexperiences
and　illusions。〃

〃Yes！　It's　the　illusions：　no　marriage　can　be　perfect　without　them；　and　at
their　age　the　Kenbys　can't　have　them。〃

〃Kenby　is　a　solid　mass　of　illusion。　　And　I　believe　that　people　can　go　and
get　as　many　new　illusions　as　they　want；　whenever　they've　lost　their　old
ones。〃

〃Yes；　but　the　new　illusions　won't　wear　so　well；　and　in　marriage　you　want
illusions　that　will　last。　　No；　you　needn't　talk　to　me。　　It's　all　very
well；　but　it　isn't　ideal。〃

March　laughed。　　〃Ideal！　　What　is　ideal？〃

〃Going　home！〃　she　said　with　such　passion　that　he　had　not　the　heart　to
point　out　that　they　were　merely　returning　to　their　old　duties；　cares　and
pains；　with　the　worn…out　illusion　that　these　would　be　altogether
different　when　they　took　them　up　again。




LXXIII。

In　fulfilment　of　another　ideal　Mrs。　March　took　straightway　to　her　berth
when　she　got　on　board　the　Cupania；　and　to　her　husband's　admiration　she
remained　there　till　the　day　before　they　reached　New　York。　　Her　theory　was
that　the　complete　rest　would　do　more　than　anything　else　to　calm　her
shaken　nerves；　and　she　did　not　admit　into　her　calculations　the　chances　of
adverse　weather　which　March　would　not　suggest　as　probable　in　the　last
week　in　September。　　The　event　justified　her　unconscious　faith。　　The
ship's　run　was　of　unparalled　swiftness；　even　for　the　Cupania；　and　of
unparalled　smoothness。　　For　days　the　sea　was　as　sleek　as　oil；　the　racks
were　never　on　the　tables　once；　the　voyage　was　of　the　sort　which　those　who
make　it　no　more　believe　in　at　the　time　than　those　whom　they　afterwards
weary　in　boasting　of　it。

The　ship　was　very　full；　but　Mrs。　March　did　not　show　the　slightest
curiosity　to　know　who　her　fellow…passengers　were。　　She　said　that　she
wished　to　be　let　perfectly　alone；　even　by　her　own　emotions；　and　for　this
reason　she　forbade　March　to　bring　her　a　list　of　the　passengers　till　after
they　had　left　Queenstown　lest　it　should　be　too　exciting。　　He　did　not　take
the　trouble　to　look　it　up；　therefore；　and　the　first　night　out　he　saw　no
one　whom　he　knew　at　dinner；　but　the　next　morning　at　breakfast　he　found
himself　to　his　great　satisfaction　at　the　same　table　with　the　Eltwins。
They　were　so　much　at　ease　with　him　that　even　Mrs。　Eltwin　took　part　in　the
talk；　and　told　him　how　they　had　spent　the　time　of　her　husband's　rigorous
after…cure　in　Switzerland；　and　now　he　was　going　home　much　better　than
they　had　expected。　　She　said　they　had　rather　thought　of　spending　the
winter　in　Europe；　but　had　given　it　up　because　they　were　both　a　little
homesick。　　March　confessed　that　this　was　exactly　the　case　with　his　wife
and　himself；　and　he　had　to　add　that　Mrs。　March　was　not　very　well
otherwise；　and　he　should　be　glad　to　be　at　home　on　her　account。　　The
recurrence　of　the　word　home　seemed　to　deepen　Eltwin's　habitual　gloom；
and　Mrs。　Eltwin　hastened　to　leave　the　subject　of　their　return　for　inquiry
into　Mrs。　March's　condition；　her　interest　did　not　so　far　overcome　her
shyness　that　she　ventured　to　propose　a　visit　to　her；　and　March　found　that
the　fact　of　the　Eltwins'　presence　on　board　did　not　agitate　his　wife。
It　seemed　rather　to　comfort　her；　and　she　said　she　hoped　he　would　see　all
he　could　of　the　poor　old　things。　　She　asked　if　he　had　met　any　one　else　he
knew；　and　he　was　able　to　tell　her　that　there　seemed　to　be　a　good　many
swells　on　board；　and　this　cheered　her　very　much；　though　he　did　not　know
them；　she　liked　to　be　near　the　rose；　though　it　was　not　a　flower　that　she
really　cared　for。

She　did　not　ask　who　the　swells　were；　and　March　took　no　trouble　to　find
out。　　He　took　no　trouble　to　get　a　passenger…list；　and　he　had　the　more
trouble　when　he　tried　at　last；　the　lists　seemed　to　have　all　vanished；　as
they　have　a　habit　of　doing；　after　the　first　day；　the　one　that　he　made
interest　for　with　the　head　steward　was　a　second…hand　copy；　and　had　no　one
he　knew　in　it　but　the　Eltwins。　　The　social　solitude；　however；　was　rather
favorable　to　certain　other　impressions。　　There　seemed　even　more　elderly
people　than　there　were　on　the　Norumbia；　the　human　atmosphere　was　gray　and
sober；　there　was　nothing　of　the　gay　expansion　of　the　outward　voyage；
there　was　little　talking　or　laughing　among　those　autumnal　men　who　were
going　seriously　and　anxiously　home；　with　faces　fiercely　set　for　the
coming　grapple；　or　necks　meekly　bowed　for　the　yoke。　　They　had　eaten　their
cake；　and　it　had　been　good；　but　there　remained　a　discomfort　in　the
digestion。　　They　sat　about　in　silence；　and　March　fancied　that　the　flown
summer　was　as　dreamlike　to　each　of　them　as　it　now　was　to　him。　　He　hated
to　be　of　their　dreary　company；　but　spiritually　he　knew　that　he　was　of　it；
and　he　vainly　turned　to　cheer　himself　with　the　younger　passengers。　　Some
matrons　who　went　about　clad　in　furs　amused　him；　for　they　must　have　been
unpleasantly　warm　in　their　jackets　and　boas；　nothing　but　the　hope　of
being　able　to　tell　the　customs　inspector　with　a　good　conscience　that　the
things　had　been　worn；　would　have　sustained　one　lady　draped　from　head　to
foot　in　Astrakhan。

They　were　all　getting　themselves　ready　for　the　fray　or　the　play　of　the
coming　winter；　but　there　seemed　nothing　joyous　in　the　preparation。　　There
were　many　young　girls；　as　there　always　are　everywhere；　but　there　were　not
many　young　men；　and　such　as　there　were　kept　to　the　smoking…room。　　There
was　no　sign　of　flirtation　among　them；　he　would　have　given　much　for　a
moment　of　the　pivotal　girl；　to　see　whether　she　could　have　brightened
those　gloomy　surfaces　with　her　impartial　lamp。　　March　wished　that　he
could　have　brought　some　report　from　the　outer　world　to　cheer　his　wife；
as　he　descended　to　their　state…room。　　They　had　taken　what　they　could　get
at　the　eleventh　hour；　and　they　had　got　no　such　ideal　room　as　they　had　in
the　Norumbia。　　It　was；　as　Mrs。　March　graphically　said；　a　basement　room。
It　was　on　the　north　side　of　the　ship；　which　is　a　cold　exposure；　and　if
there　had　been　any　sun　it　could　not　have　got　into　their　window；　which　was
half　the　time　under　water。　　The　green　waves；　laced　with　foam；　hissed　as
they　ran　across　the　port；　and　the　electric　fan　in　the　corridor　moaned
like　the　wind　in　a　gable。

He　felt　a　sinking　of　the　heart　as　he　pushed　the　state…room　door　open；　and
looked　at　his　wife　lying　with　her　face　turned　to　the　wall；　and　he　was
going　to　withdraw；　thinking　her　asleep；　when　she　said　quietly；　〃Are　we
going　down？〃

〃Not　that　I　know　of；〃　he　answered　with　a　gayety　he　did　not　feel。　　〃But
I'll　ask　the　head　steward。〃

She　put　out　her　hand　behind　her　for　him　to　take；　and　clutched　his　fingers
convulsively。　　〃If　I'm　never　any　better；　you　will　always　remember　this
happy；　summer；　won't　you？　　Oh；　it's　been　such　a　happy　summer！　　It　has
been　one　long　joy；　one　conti