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第31章

the burning spear-第31章

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the freedom of the seas。  A Union Jack happened to be leaning against the

monument; and when she had at last finished; Mr。 Lavender seized it and

came forward to the edge。



〃Great tidings!〃 he said at once; waving the flag; and without more ado

plunged into an oration; which; so far as it went; must certainly

be ranked among his masterpieces。  〃Great tidings; Friends!  I have

planted the grain of mustard seed or; in common parlance; have just come

from the meeting which has incepted the League of Nations; and it will be

my task this morning briefly to make known to you the principles which in

future must dominate the policy of the world。  Since it is for the closer

brotherhood of man and the reign of perpetual peace that we are

struggling; we must first secure the annihilation of our common enemies。

Those members of the human race whose infamies have largely placed them

beyond the pale must be eliminated once for all。〃



Loud cheers greeted this utterance; and stimulated by the sound Mr。

Lavender proceeded: 〃 What; however; must the civilized nations do when

at last they have clean sheets?  In the first place; all petty prejudices

and provincial aspirations must be set aside; and though the world must

be firmly founded upon the principle of nationality it must also act as

one great people。  This; my fellow…countrymen; is no mere contradiction

in terms; for though in their new solidarities each nation will be

prouder of itself; and more jealous of its good name and independence

than ever; that will not prevent its' sacrificing its inalienable rights

for the good of the whole human nation of which it is a member。  Friends;

let me give you a simple illustration; which in a nutshell will make the

whole thing clear。  We; here in Britain; are justly proud and tenacious

of our sea powerin the words of the poet; 'We hold all the gates of the

water。'  Now it is abundantly and convincingly plain that this reinforced

principle of nationality bids us to retain and increase them; while

internationalism bids us givethem up。〃



His audiencewhich had hitherto listened with open mouths; here closed

them; and a strident voice exclaimed:



〃Give it a name; gov'nor。  D'you say we ought to give up Gib?



This word pierced Mr。 Lavender; standing where he was; to the very

marrow; and he fell into such confusion of spirit that his words became

inaudible。



〃My God!〃 he thought; appalled; 〃is it possible that I have not got to

the bottom of this question?〃 And; turning his back on the audience; he

gazed in a sort of agony at the figure of Nelson towering into the sky

above him。  He was about to cry out piteously: 〃Countrymen; I know not

what I think。  Oh!  I am unhappy!〃 when he inadvertently stepped back

over the edge of the plinth; and; still entangled in the flag; was picked

up by two policemen and placed in a dazed condition and a deserted spot

opposite the National Gallery。



It was while he was standing there; encircled by; pigeons and forgotten

by his fellow man; that there came to him a spiritual revelation。

〃Strange!〃 he thought; 〃I notice a certain inconsistency in myself; and

even in my utterances。  I am two men; one of whom is me and one not me;

and the one which is not me is the one which causes me to fall into the

arms of policemen and other troubles。  The one which is me loves these

pigeons; and desires to live quietly with my dog; not considering public

affairs; which; indeed; seem to be suited to persons of another sort。

Whence; then; comes the one which is not me?  Can it be that it is

derived from the sayings and writings of others; and is but a spurious

spirit only meet to be outcast?  Do I; to speak in the vernacular; care

any buttons whether we stick to Gibraltar or not so long as men do but

live in kindness?  And if that is so; have I the right to say I do?

Ought I not; rather; to be true to my private self and leave the course

of public affairs to those who have louder voices and no private selves?〃

The thought was extremely painful; for it seemed to disclose to him grave

inconsistency in the recent management of his life。  And; thoroughly

mortified; he turned round with a view of entering the National Gallery

and soothing his spirit with art; when he was arrested by the placard

which covered it announcing which town had taken which sum of bonds。

This lighted up such a new vista of public utility that his brain would

certainly have caught fire again if one of the policemen who had

conducted him across the Square had not touched him on the arm; and said:



〃How are you now; sir?〃



〃I am pretty well; thank you; policeman;〃 replied Mr。 Lavender; 〃and

sorry that I occasioned so much disturbance。〃



〃Don't mention it; sir;〃 answered the policeman; 〃you came a nasty

crump。〃



〃Tell me;〃 said Mr。 Lavender; suddenly looking up into his face; 〃do you

consider that a man is justified in living a private life?  For; as

regards my future; it is largely on your opinion that I shall act。〃



The policeman; whose solid face showed traces of astonishment; answered

slowly: 〃As a general thing; a man's private life don't bear lookin'

into; as you know; sir。〃



〃I have not lived one for some time;〃 said Mr。 Lavender。



〃Well;〃 remarked the policeman; 〃if you take my advice you won't try it

a…gain。  I should say you 'adn't the constitution。〃



〃I fear you do not catch my meaning;〃 returned Mr。 Lavender; whose whole

body was aching from his fall; 〃it is my public life which tries me。〃



〃Well; then; I should chuck it;〃 said the policeman。



〃Really?〃 murmured Mr。 Lavender eagerly 〃would you?〃



〃Why not?〃 said the …policeman。



So excited was Mr。 Lavender by this independent confirmation of his

sudden longing that he took out half a crown。



〃You will oblige me greatly;〃 he said; by accepting this as a token of my

gratitude。〃



〃Well; sir; I'll humour you;〃 answered the policeman; 〃though it was no

trouble; I'm sure; you're as light as a feather。  Goin' anywhere in

particular?〃 he added。



〃Yes;〃 said Mr。 Lavender; rather faintly; 〃the Tube Station。〃



〃Come along with me; then。〃



Mr。 Lavender went along; not sorry to have the protection of that

stalwart form; for his nerve was shaken; not so much by physical

suffering as by the revelation he had received。



〃If you'll take my tip; sir;〃 said the policeman; parting from him; 〃you

won't try no private life again; you don't look strong。〃



〃Thank you; policeman;〃 said Mr。 Lavender musingly; 〃it is kind of you to

take an interest in me。  Good…bye!〃



Safely seated in the Tube for Hampstead he continued the painful struggle

of his meditations。  〃If; indeed;〃 he thought; 〃as a public man I do more

harm than good; I am prepared to sacrifice all for my country's sake and

retire into private life。  But the policeman said that would be dangerous

for me。  What; then; is left?  To live neither a public nor a private

life!〃



This thought; at once painful and heroic; began to take such hold of him

that he arrived at his house in a high fever of the brain。









XXI



AND ASCENDS TO PARADISE



Now when Mr。 Lavender once slept over an idea it became so strong that no

power on earth could prevent his putting it into execution; and all night

long he kept Blink awake by tramping up and down his bedroom and planning

the details of such a retirement as would meet his unfortunate case。  For

at once he perceived that to retire from both his lives without making

the whole world know of it would be tantamount to not retiring。  〃Only by

a public act;〃 he thought; 〃of so striking a character that nobody can

miss it can I bring the moral home to all public and private men。〃  And a

hundred schemes swarmed like ants in his brain。  Nor was it till the cock

crew that one adequate to this final occasion occurred to him。



〃It will want very careful handling;〃 he thought; 〃for otherwise I shall

be pre

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