ivanoff-第6章
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SASHA。 Why do you all talk like this？ This eternal subject of
Ivanoff； Ivanoff； and always Ivanoff has grown insufferable； and
yet you never speak of anything else。 ＇She goes toward the door；
then stops and comes back＇ I am surprised； ＇To the young men＇ and
utterly astonished at your patience； young men！ How can you sit
there like that？ Aren't you bored？ Why； the very air is as dull
as ditchwater！ Do； for heaven's sake say something； try to amuse
the girls a little； move about！ Or if you can't talk of anything
except Ivanoff； you might laugh or sing or dance…
LEBEDIEFF。 ＇Laughing＇ That's right； Sasha！ Give them a good
scolding。
SASHA。 Look here； will you do me a favour？ If you refuse to dance
or sing or laugh； if all that is tedious； then let me beg you；
implore you； to summon all your powers； if only for this once；
and make one witty or clever remark。 Let it be as impertinent and
malicious as you like； so long as it is funny and original。 Won't
you perform this miracle； just once； to surprise us and make us
laugh？ Or else you might think of some little thing which you
could all do together； something to make you stir about。 Let the
girls admire you for once in their lives！ Listen to me！ I suppose
you want them to like you？ Then why don't try to make them do it？
Oh； dear！ There is something wrong with you all！ You are a lot of
sleepy stick…in…the…muds！ I have told you so a thousand times and
shall always go on repeating it； there is something wrong with
every one of you； something wrong； wrong； wrong！
Enter IVANOFF and SHABELSKI through the door on the right。
SHABELSKI。 Who is making a speech here？ Is it you； Sasha？ ＇He
laughs and shakes hands with her＇ Many happy returns of the day；
my dear child。 May you live as long as possible in this life； but
never be born again！
ZINAIDA。 ＇Joyfully＇ My dear Count！
LEBEDIEFF。 Who can this be？ Not you； Count？
SHABELSKI。 ＇Sees ZINAIDA and MARTHA sitting side by side＇ Two
gold mines side by side！ What a pleasant picture it makes！ ＇He
shakes hands with ZINAIDA＇ Good evening； Zuzu！ ＇Shakes hands with
MARTHA＇ Good evening； Birdie！
ZINAIDA。 I am charmed to see you； Count。 You are a rare visitor
here now。 ＇Calls＇ Gabriel； bring some tea！ Please sit down。
She gets up and goes to the door and back； evidently much
preoccupied。 SASHA sits down in her former place。 IVANOFF
silently shakes hands with every one。
LEBEDIEFF。 ＇To SHABELSKI＇ What miracle has brought you here？ You
have given us a great surprise。 Why； Count； you're a rascal； you
haven't been treating us right at all。 ＇Leads him forward by the
hand＇ Tell me； why don't you ever come to see us now？ Are you
offended？
SHABELSKI。 How can I get here to see you？ Astride a broomstick？ I
have no horses of my own； and Nicholas won't take me with him
when he goes out。 He says I must stay at home to amuse Sarah。
Send your horses for me and I shall come with pleasure。
LEBE DIEFF。 ＇With a wave of the hand＇ Oh； that is easy to say！
But Zuzu would rather have a fit than lend the horses to any one。
My dear； dear old friend； you are more to me than any one I know！
You and I are survivors of those good old days that are gone
forever； and you alone bring back to my mind the love and
longings of my lost youth。 Of course I am only joking； and yet；
do you know； I am almost in tears？
SHABELSKI。 Stop； stop！ You smell like the air of a wine cellar。
LEBEDIEFF。 Dear friend； you cannot imagine how lonely I am
without my old companions！ I could hang myself！ ＇Whispers＇ Zuzu
has frightened all the decent men away with her stingy ways； and
now we have only this riff…raff； as you see： Tom； Dick； and
Harry。 However； drink your tea。
ZINAIDA。 ＇Anxiously； to GABRIEL＇ Don't bring it in like that！ Go
fetch some jam to eat with it！
SHABELSKI。 ＇Laughing loudly； to IVANOFF＇ Didn't I tell you so ？
＇To LEBEDIEFF＇ I bet him driving over； that as soon as we arrived
Zuzu would want to feed us with jam！
ZINAIDA。 Still joking； Count！ ＇She sits down。＇
LEBEDIEFF。 She made twenty jars of it this year； and how else do
you expect her to get rid of it？
SHABELSKI。 ＇Sits down near the table＇ Are you still adding to the
hoard； Zuzu？ You will soon have a million； eh？
ZINAIDA。 ＇Sighing＇ I know it seems as if no one could be richer
than we； but where do they think the money comes from？ It is all
gossip。
SHABELSKI。 Oh； yes； we all know that！ We know how badly you play
your cards！ Tell me； Paul； honestly； have you saved up a million
yet？
LEBEDIEFF。 I don't know。 Ask Zuzu。
SHABELSKI。 ＇To MARTHA＇ And my plump little Birdie here will soon
have a million too！ She is getting prettier and plumper not only
every day； but every hour。 That means she has a nice little
fortune。
MARTHA。 Thank you very much； your highness； but I don't like such
jokes。
SHABELSKI。 My dear little gold mine； do you call that a joke？ It
was a wail of the soul； a cry from the heart； that burst through
my lips。 My love for you and Zuzu is immense。 ＇Gaily＇ Oh；
rapture！ Oh； bliss！ I cannot look at you two without a madly
beating heart！
ZINAIDA。 You are still the same； Count。 ＇To GEORGE＇ Put out the
candles please； George。 ＇GEORGE gives a start。 He puts out the
candles and sits down again＇ How is your wife； Nicholas？
IVANOFF。 She is very ill。 The doctor said to…day that she
certainly had consumption。
ZINAIDA。 Really？ Oh； how sad！ ＇She sighs＇ And we are all so fond
of her！
SHABELSKI。 What trash you all talk！ That story was invented by
that sham doctor； and is nothing but a trick of his。 He wants to
masquerade as an Aesculapius； and so has started this consumption
theory。 Fortunately her husband isn't jealous。 ＇IVANOFF makes an
inpatient gesture＇ As for Sarah； I wouldn't trust a word or an
action of hers。 I have made a point all my life of mistrusting
all doctors； lawyers； and women。 They are shammers and deceivers。
LEBEDIEFF。 ＇To SHABELSKI＇ You are an extraordinary person；
Matthew！ You have mounted this misanthropic hobby of yours； and
you ride it through thick and thin like a lunatic You are a man
like any other； and yet； from the way you talk one would imagine
that you had the pip； or a cold in the head。
SHABELSKI。 Would you have me go about kissing every rascal and
scoundrel I meet？
LEBEDIEFF。 Where do you find all these rascals and scoundrels？
SHABELSKI。 Of course I am not talking of any one here present；
nevertheless
LEBEDIEFF。 There you are again with your 〃nevertheless。〃 All this
is simply a fancy of yours。
SHABELSKI。 A fancy？ It is lucky for you that you have no
knowledge of the world！
LEBEDIEFF。 My knowledge of the world is this： I must sit here
prepared at any moment to have death come knocking at the door。
That is my knowledge of the world。 At our age； brother； you and I
can't afford to worry about knowledge of the world。 So then ＇He
calls＇ Oh； Gabriel！
SHABELSKI。 You have had quite enough already。 Look at your nose。
LEBEDIEFF。 No matter； old boy。 I am not going to be married
to…day。
ZINAIDA。 Doctor Lvoff has not been here for a long time。 He seems
to have forgotten us。
SASHA。 That man is one of my aversions。 I can't stand his icy
sense of honour。 He can't ask for a glass of water or smoke a
cigarette without making a display of his remarkable honesty。
Walking and talking； it is written on his brow： 〃I am an honest
man。〃 He is a great bore。
SHABELSKI。 He is a narrow…minded； conceited medico。 ＇Angrily＇ He
shrieks like a parrot at every step： 〃Make way for honest
endeavour！〃 and thinks himself another St。 Francis。 Everybody is
a rascal who doesn't make as much noise as he does。 As for his
penetration； it is simply remarkable！ If a peasant is well off
and lives decently； he sees at once that he must be a thief and a
scoundrel。 If I wear a velvet coat and am dressed by my valet； I
am a rascal and the valet is my slave。 There is no place in this
world for a man like him。 I am actually afraid of him。 Yes；
indeed； he is likely； out of a sense of duty； to insult a man at
any moment and to call him a knave。
IVANOFF。 I am dreadfully tired of him； but I can't help liking
him； too； he is so sincere。
SHABELSKI。 Oh； yes； his s
