ivanoff-第12章
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did not mean to stop loving her。 Do you feel guilty because she
saw me telling you that I love you？ No； that cannot be； because
you did not want her to see it
IVANOFF。 ＇Interrupting her＇ And so on； and so on！ First you say I
love； and then you say I don't； that I am not master of my
feelings。 All these are commonplace； worn…out sentiments； with
which you cannot help me。
SASHA。 It is impossible to talk to you。 ＇She looks at a picture
on the wall＇ How well those dogs are drawn！ Were they done from
life？
IVANOFF。 Yes； from life。 And this whole romance of ours is a
tedious old story； a man loses heart and begins to go down in the
world； a girl appears； brave and strong of heart； and gives him a
hand to help him to rise again。 Such situations are pretty； but
they are only found in novels and not in real life。
SASHA。 No； they are found in real life too。
IVANOFF。 Now I see how well you understand real life！ My
sufferings seem noble to you； you imagine you have discovered in
me a second Hamlet； but my state of mind in all its phases is
only fit to furnish food for contempt and derision。 My
contortions are ridiculous enough to make any one die of
laughter； and you want to play the guardian angel； you want to do
a noble deed and save me。 Oh； how I hate myself to…day！ I feel
that this tension must soon be relieved in some way。 Either I
shall break something； or else
SASHA。 That is exactly what you need。 Let yourself go！ Smash
something； break it to pieces； give a yell！ You are angry with
me； it was foolish of me to come here。 Very well； then； get
excited about it； storm at me； stamp your feet！ Well； aren't you
getting angry？
IVANOFF。 You ridiculous girl！
SASHA。 Splendid！ So we are smiling at last！ Be kind； do me the
favour of smiling once more！
IVANOFF。 ＇Laughing＇ I have noticed that whenever you start
reforming me and saving my soul； and teaching me how to be good；
your face grows naive； oh so naive； and your eyes grow as wide as
if you were looking at a comet。 Wait a moment； your shoulder is
covered with dust。 ＇He brushes her shoulder＇ A naive man is
nothing better than a fool； but you women contrive to be naive in
such a way that in you it seems sweet； and gentle； and proper；
and not as silly as it really is。 What a strange way you have；
though； of ignoring a man as long as he is well and happy； and
fastening yourselves to him as soon as he begins to whine and go
down…hill！ Do you actually think it is worse to be the wife of a
strong man than to nurse some whimpering invalid？
SASHA。 Yes； it is worse。
IVANOFF。 Why do you think so？ ＇Laughing loudly＇ It is a good
thing Darwin can't hear what you are saying！ He would be furious
with you for degrading the human race。 Soon； thanks to your
kindness； only invalids and hypochondriacs will be born into the
world。
SASHA。 There are a great many things a man cannot understand。 Any
girl would rather love an unfortunate man than a fortunate one；
because every girl would like to do something by loving。 A man
has his work to do； and so for him love is kept in the
background。 To talk to his wife； to walk with her in the garden；
to pass the time pleasantly with her； that is all that love means
to a man。 But for us； love means life。 I love you； that means
that I dream only of how I shall cure you of your sadness； how I
shall go with you to the ends of the earth。 If you are in heaven；
I am in heaven； if you are in the pit； I am in the pit。 For
instance； it would be the greatest happiness for me to write all
night for you； or to watch all night that no one should wake you。
I remember that three years ago； at threshing time； you came to
us all dusty and sunburnt and tired； and asked for a drink。 When
I brought you a glass of water you were already lying on the sofa
and sleeping like a dead man。 You slept there for half a day； and
all that time I watched by the door that no one should disturb
you。 How happy I was！ The more a girl can do； the greater her
love will be； that is；
I mean； the more she feels it
IVANOFF。 The love that accomplishes thingshmthat is a fairy
tale； a girl's dream； and yet； perhaps it is as it should be。 ＇He
shrugs his shoulders＇ How can I tell？ ＇Gaily＇ On my honour；
Sasha； I really am quite a respectable man。 Judge for yourself： I
have always liked to discuss things； but I have never in my life
said that our women were corrupt； or that such and such a woman
was on the down…hill path。 I have always been grateful； and
nothing more。 No； nothing more。 Dear child； how comical you are！
And what a ridiculous old stupid I am！ I shock all good Christian
folk； and go about complaining from morning to night。 ＇He laughs
and then leaves her suddenly＇ But you must go； Sasha； we have
forgotten ourselves。
SASHA。 Yes； it is time to go。 Good…bye。 I am afraid that that
honest doctor of yours will have told Anna out of a sense of duty
that I am here。 Take my advice： go at once to your wife and stay
with her。 Stay； and stay； and stay； and if it should be for a
year； you must still stay； or for ten years。 It is your duty。 You
must repent； and ask her forgiveness； and weep。 That is what you
ought to do； and the great thing is not to forget to do right。
IVANOFF。 Again I feel as if I were going crazy； again！
SASHA。 Well； heaven help you！ You must forget me entirely。 In two
weeks you must send me a line and I shall be content with that。
But I shall write to you
BORKIN looks in at the door。
BORKIN。 Ivanoff； may I come in？ ＇He sees SASHA＇ I beg your
pardon； I did not see you。 Bonjour！ ＇He bows。＇
SASHA。 ＇Embarrassed＇ How do you do？
BORKIN。 You are plumper and prettier than ever。
SASHA。 ＇To IVANOFF＇ I must go； Nicholas； I must go。 ＇She goes
out。＇
BORKIN。 What a beautiful apparition！ I came expecting prose and
found poetry instead。 ＇Sings＇
〃You showed yourself to the world as a bird…〃
IVANOFF walks excitedly up and down。
BORKIN。 ＇Sits down＇ There is something in her； Nicholas； that one
doesn't find in other women； isn't there？ An elfin strangeness。
＇He sighs＇ Although she is without doubt the richest girl in the
country； her mother is so stingy that no one will have her。 After
her mother's death Sasha will have the whole fortune； but until
then she will only give her ten thousand roubles and an old
flat…iron； and to get that she will have to humble herself to the
ground。 ＇He feels in his pockets＇ Will you have a smoke？ ＇He
offers IVANOFF his cigarette case＇ These are very good。
IVANOFF。 ＇Comes toward BORKIN stifled with rage＇ Leave my house
this instant； and don't you ever dare to set foot in it again！ Go
this instant！
BORKIN gets up and drops his cigarette。
IVANOFF。 Go at once！
BORKIN。 Nicholas； what do you mean？ Why are you so angry？
IVANOFF。 Why！ Where did you get those cigarettes？ Where？ You
think perhaps that I don't know where you take the old man every
day； and for what purpose？
BORKIN。 ＇Shrugs his shoulders＇ What business is it of yours？
IVANOFF。 You blackguard； you！ The disgraceful rumours that you
have been spreading about me have made me disreputable in the
eyes of the whole countryside。 You and I have nothing in common；
and I ask you to leave my house this instant。
BORKIN。 I know that you are saying all this in a moment of
irritation； and so I am not angry with you。 Insult me as much as
you please。 ＇He picks up his cigarette＇ It is time though； to
shake off this melancholy of yours； you're not a schoolboy。
IVANOFF。 What did I tell you？ ＇Shuddering＇ Are you making fun of
me？
Enter ANNA。
BORKIN。 There now； there comes Anna！ I shall go。
IVANOFF stops near the table and stands with his head bowed。
ANNA。 ＇After a pause＇ What did she come here for？ What did she
come here for； I ask you？
IVANOFF。 Don't ask me； Annie。 ＇A pause＇ I am terribly guilty。
Think of any punishment you want to inflict on me； I can stand
anything； but don't； oh； don't ask questions！
ANNA。 ＇Angrily＇ So that is the sort of man you are？ Now I
understand you； and can see how degraded； how dishonourable you
are！ Do you remember that you came to me once and lied to me
about your love？ I believed you； and left my mother； my father；
