how tell a story and others-第5章

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toward　the　box；　stood　a　moment；　then　came　back　on　a　sharp　trot　and
visited　the　broken　pane；　observing；

〃'Twould　'a'　ben　a　dum　sight　better；　all　around；　if　they'd　started　him
along　last　summer。〃

Thompson　sat　down　and　buried　his　face　in　his　red　silk　handkerchief；　and
began　to　slowly　sway　and　rock　his　body　like　one　who　is　doing　his　best　to
endure　the　almost　unendurable。　　By　this　time　the　fragranceif　you　may
call　it　fragrancewas　just　about　suffocating；　as　near　as　you　can　come　at
it。　　Thompson's　face　was　turning　gray；　I　knew　mine　hadn't　any　color　left
in　it。　　By　and　by　Thompson　rested　his　forehead　in　his　left　hand；　with　his
elbow　on　his　knee；　and　sort　of　waved　his　red　handkerchief　towards　the　box
with　his　other　hand；　and　said；

〃I've　carried　a　many　a　one　of　'em；some　of　'em　considerable　overdue；
too；but；　lordy；　he　just　lays　over　'em　all！and　does　it　easy　Cap。；　they
was　heliotrope　to　HIM！〃

This　recognition　of　my　poor　friend　gratified　me；　in　spite　of　the　sad
circumstances；　because　it　had　so　much　the　sound　of　a　compliment。

Pretty　soon　it　was　plain　that　something　had　got　to　be　done。　　I　suggested
cigars。　　Thompson　thought　it　was　a　good　idea。　　He　said；

〃Likely　it'll　modify　him　some。〃

We　puffed　gingerly　along　for　a　while；　and　tried　hard　to　imagine　that
things　were　improved。　　But　it　wasn't　any　use。　　Before　very　long；　and
without　any　consultation；　both　cigars　were　quietly　dropped　from　our
nerveless　fingers　at　the　same　moment。　　Thompson　said；　with　a　sigh；

〃No；　Cap。；　it　don't　modify　him　worth　a　cent。　　Fact　is；　it　makes　him
worse；　becuz　it　appears　to　stir　up　his　ambition。　　What　do　you　reckon　we
better　do；　now？〃

I　was　not　able　to　suggest　anything；　indeed；　I　had　to　be　swallowing　and
swallowing；　all　the　time；　and　did　not　like　to　trust　myself　to　speak。
Thompson　fell　to　maundering；　in　a　desultory　and　low…spirited　way；　about
the　miserable　experiences　of　this　night；　and　he　got　to　referring　to　my
poor　friend　by　various　titles；sometimes　military　ones；　sometimes　civil
ones；　and　I　noticed　that　as　fast　as　my　poor　friend's　effectiveness　grew；
Thompson　promoted　him　accordingly；gave　him　a　bigger　title。　　Finally　he
said；

〃I've　got　an　idea。　　Suppos'　n　we　buckle　down　to　it　and　give　the　Colonel　a
bit　of　a　shove　towards　t'other　end　of　the　car？　about　ten　foot；　say。　　He
wouldn't　have　so　much　influence；　then；　don't　you　reckon？〃

I　said　it　was　a　good　scheme。　　So　we　took　in　a　good　fresh　breath　at　the
broken　pane；　calculating　to　hold　it　till　we　got　through；　then　we　went
there　and　bent　over　that　deadly　cheese　and　took　a　grip　on　the　box。
Thompson　nodded　〃All　ready；〃　and　then　we　threw　ourselves　forward　with　all
our　might；　but　Thompson　slipped；　and　slumped　down　with　his　nose　on　the
cheese；　and　his　breath　got　loose。　　He　gagged　and　gasped；　and　floundered
up　and　made　a　break　for　the　door；　pawing　the　air　and　saying　hoarsely；
〃Don't　hender　me！　gimme　the　road！　　I'm　a…dying；　gimme　the　road！〃
Out　on　the　cold　platform　I　sat　down　and　held　his　head　a　while；　and　he
revived。　　Presently　he　said；

〃Do　you　reckon　we　started　the　Gen'rul　any？〃

I　said　no；　we　hadn't　budged　him。

〃Well；　then；　that　idea's　up　the　flume。　　We　got　to　think　up　something
else。　　He's　suited　wher'　he　is；　I　reckon；　and　if　that's　the　way　he　feels
about　it；　and　has　made　up　his　mind　that　he　don't　wish　to　be　disturbed；
you　bet　he's　a…going　to　have　his　own　way　in　the　business。　　Yes；　better
leave　him　right　wher'　he　is；　long　as　he　wants　it　so；　becuz　he　holds　all
the　trumps；　don't　you　know；　and　so　it　stands　to　reason　that　the　man　that
lays　out　to　alter　his　plans　for　him　is　going　to　get　left。〃

But　we　couldn't　stay　out　there　in　that　mad　storm；　we　should　have　frozen
to　death。　　So　we　went　in　again　and　shut　the　door；　and　began　to　suffer
once　more　and　take　turns　at　the　break　in　the　window。　　By　and　by；　as　we
were　starting　away　from　a　station　where　we　had　stopped　a　moment　Thompson。
pranced　in　cheerily；　and　exclaimed；

〃We're　all　right；　now！　　I　reckon　we've　got　the　Commodore　this　time。　　I
judge　I've　got　the　stuff　here　that'll　take　the　tuck　out　of　him。〃

It　was　carbolic　acid。　　He　had　a　carboy　of　it。　　He　sprinkled　it　all　around
everywhere；　in　fact　he　drenched　everything　with　it；　rifle…box；　cheese　and
all。　　Then　we　sat　down；　feeling　pretty　hopeful。　　But　it　wasn't　for　long。
You　see　the　two　perfumes　began　to　mix；　and　thenwell；　pretty　soon　we
made　a　break　for　the　door；　and　out　there　Thompson　swabbed　his　face　with
his　bandanna　and　said　in　a　kind　of　disheartened　way；

〃It　ain't　no　use。　　We　can't　buck　agin　him。　　He　just　utilizes　everything
we　put　up　to　modify　him　with；　and　gives　it　his　own　flavor　and　plays　it
back　on　us。　　Why；　Cap。；　don't　you　know；　it's　as　much　as　a　hundred　times
worse　in　there　now　than　it　was　when　he　first　got　a…going。　　I　never　did
see　one　of　'em　warm　up　to　his　work　so；　and　take　such　a　dumnation　interest
in　it。　　No；　Sir；　I　never　did；　as　long　as　I've　ben　on　the　road；　and　I've
carried　a　many　a　one　of　'em；　as　I　was　telling　you。〃

We　went　in　again　after　we　were　frozen　pretty　stiff；　but　my；　we　couldn't
stay　in；　now。　　So　we　just　waltzed　back　and　forth；　freezing；　and　thawing；
and　stifling；　by　turns。　　In　about　an　hour　we　stopped　at　another　station；
and　as　we　left　it　Thompson　came　in　with　a　bag；　and　said；

〃Cap。；　I'm　a…going　；to　chance　him　once　more；just　this　once；　and　if　we
don't　fetch　him　this　time；　the　thing　for　us　to　do；　is　to　just　throw　up
the　sponge　and　withdraw　from　the　canvass。　　That's　the　way　I　put　it　up。〃
He　had　brought　a　lot　of　chicken　feathers；　and　dried　apples；　and　leaf
tobacco；　and　rags；　and　old　shoes；　and　sulphur；　and　asafoetida；　and　one
thing　or　another；　and　he；　piled　them　on　a　breadth　of　sheet　iron　in　the
middle　of　the　floor；　and　set　fire　to　them。

When　they　got　well　started；　I　couldn't　see；　myself；　how　even　the　corpse
could　stand　it。　　All　that　went　before　was　just　simply　poetry　to　that
smell；but　mind　you；　the　original　smell　stood　up　out　of　it　just　as
sublime　as　ever；fact　is；　these　other　smells　just　seemed　to　give　it　a
better　hold；　and　my；　how　rich　it　was！　　I　didn't　make　these　reflections
therethere　wasn't　timemade　them　on　the　platform。　　And　breaking　for
the　platform；　Thompson　got　suffocated　and　fell；　and　before　I　got　him
dragged　out；　which　I　did　by　the　collar；　I　was　mighty　near　gone　myself。
When　we　revived；　Thompson　said　dejectedly；

〃We　got　to　stay　out　here；　Cap。　　We　got　to　do　it。　　They　ain't　no　other
way。　　The　Governor　wants　to　travel　alone；　and　he's　fixed　so　he　can
outvote　us。〃

And　presently　he　added；

〃And　don't　you　know；　we're　pisoned。　　It's　our　last　trip；　you　can　make　up
your　mind　to　it。　　Typhoid　fever　is　what's　going　to　come　of　this。　　I　feel
it　acoming　right　now。　　Yes；　sir；　we're　elected；　just　as　sure　as　you're
born。〃

We　were　taken　from　the　platform　an　hour　later；　frozen　and　insensible；　at
the　next　station；　and　I　went　straight　off　into　a　virulent　fever；　and
never　knew　anything　again　for　three　weeks。　　I　found　out；　then；　that　I　had
spent　that　awful　night　with　a　harmless　box　of　rifles　and　a　lot　of
innocent　cheese；　but　the　news　was　too　late　to　save　me；　imagination　had
done　its　work；　and　my　health　was　permanently　shattered；　neither　Bermuda
nor　any　other　land　can　ever　bring　it　back　tome。　　This　is　my　last　trip；　I
am　on　my　way　home　to　die。






End