how tell a story and others-第3章
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excellence Mr。 R。 S。 Smythe； of Melbourne。〃
He added his itinerary； terms； sea expenses； and some other matters； and
advised me to write Mr。 Smythe； which I didFebruary 3d。 I began my
letter by saying in substance that while he did not know me personally we
had a mutual friend in Stanley； and that would answer for an
introduction。 Then I proposed my trip； and asked if he would give me the
same terms which he had given Stanley。
I mailed my letter to Mr。 Smythe February 6th； and three days later I got
a letter from the selfsame Smythe； dated Melbourne； December 17th。 I
would as soon have expected to get a letter from the late George
Washington。 The letter began somewhat as mine to him had begunwith a
self…introduction：
DEAR MR。 CLEMENS；It is so long since Archibald Forbes and I
spent that pleasant afternoon in your comfortable house at
Hartford that you have probably quite forgotten the occasion。〃
In the course of his letter this occurs：
〃I am willing to give you〃 ＇here be named the terms which he
had given Stanley＇ 〃for an antipodean tour to last； say； three
months。〃
Here was the single essential detail of my letter answered three days
after I had mailed my inquiry。 I might have saved myself the trouble and
the postageand a few years ago I would have done that very thing； for I
would have argued that my sudden and strong impulse to write and ask some
questions of a stranger on the under side of the globe meant that the
impulse came from that stranger； and that he would answer my questions of
his own motion if I would let him alone。
Mr。 Smythe's letter probably passed under my nose on its way to lose
three weeks traveling to America and back； and gave me a whiff of its
contents as it went along。 Letters often act like that。 Instead of the
thought coming to you in an instant from Australia； the （apparently）
unsentient letter imparts it to you as it glides invisibly past your
elbow in the mail…bag。
Next incident。 In the following monthMarchI was in America。 I spent
a Sunday at Irvington…on…the…Hudson with Mr。 John Brisben Walker； of the
Cosmopolitan magazine。 We came into New York next morning； and went to
the Century Club for luncheon。 He said some praiseful things about the
character of the club and the orderly serenity and pleasantness of its
quarters； and asked if I had never tried to acquire membership in it。
I said I had not； and that New York clubs were a continuous expense to
the country members without being of frequent use or benefit to them。
〃And now I've got an idea！〃 said I。 〃There's the Lotosthe first New
York club I was ever a member ofmy very earliest love in that line。
I have been a member of it for considerably more than twenty years； yet
have seldom had a chance to look in and see the boys。 They turn gray and
grow old while I am not watching。 And my dues go on。 I am going to
Hartford this afternoon for a day or two； but as soon as I get back I
will go to John Elderkin very privately and say： 'Remember the veteran
and confer distinction upon him； for the sake of old times。 Make me an
honorary member and abolish the tax。 If you haven't any such thing as
honorary membership； all the bettercreate it for my honor and glory。'
That would be a great thing； I will go to John Elderkin as soon as I get
back from Hartford。〃
I took the last express that afternoon； first telegraphing Mr。 F。 G。
Whitmore to come and see me next day。 When he came he asked： 〃Did you
get a letter from Mr。 John Elderkin； secretary of the Lotos Club； before
you left New York？〃
〃Then it just missed you。 If I had known you were coming I would have
kept it。 It is beautiful； and will make you proud。 The Board of
Directors； by unanimous vote； have made you a life member； and squelched
those dues； and； you are to be on hand and receive your distinction on
the night of the 30th； which is the twenty…fifth anniversary of the
founding of the club； and it will not surprise me if they have some great
times there。〃
What put the honorary membership in my head that day in the Century Club？
for I had never thought of it before。 I don't know what brought the
thought to me at that particular time instead of earlier； but I am well
satisfied that it originated with the Board of Directors； and had been on
its way to my brain through the air ever since the moment that saw their
vote recorded。
Another incident。 I was in Hartford two or three days as a guest of the
Rev。 Joseph H。 Twichell。 I have held the rank of Honorary Uncle to his
children for a quarter of a century； and I went out with him in the
trolley…car to visit one of my nieces； who is at Miss Porter's famous
school in Farmington。 The distance is eight or nine miles。 On the way；
talking； I illustrated something with an anecdote。 This is the anecdote：
Two years and a half ago I and the family arrived at Milan on our way to
Rome； and stopped at the Continental。 After dinner I went below and took
a seat in the stone…paved court； where the customary lemon…trees stand in
the customary tubs； and said to myself； 〃Now this is comfort； comfort and
repose； and nobody to disturb it； I do not know anybody in Milan。〃
Then a young gentleman stepped up and shook hands； which damaged my
theory。 He said； in substance：
〃You won't remember me； Mr。 Clemens； but I remember you very well。 I was
a cadet at West Point when you and Rev。 Joseph H。 Twichell came there
some years ago and talked to us on a Hundredth Night。 I am a lieutenant
in the regular army now； and my name is H。 I am in Europe； all alone；
for a modest little tour； my regiment is in Arizona。〃
We became friendly and sociable； and in the course of the talk he told me
of an adventure which had befallen himabout to this effect：
〃I was at Bellagio； stopping at the big hotel there； and ten days ago I
lost my letter of credit。 I did not know what in the world to do。 I was
a stranger； I knew no one in Europe； I hadn't a penny in my pocket； I
couldn't even send a telegram to London to get my lost letter replaced；
my hotel bill was a week old； and the presentation of it imminentso
imminent that it could happen at any moment now。 I was so frightened
that my wits seemed to leave me。 I tramped and tramped； back and forth；
like a crazy person。 If anybody approached me I hurried away； for no
matter what a person looked like； I took him for the head waiter with the
bill。
〃I was at last in such a desperate state that I was ready to do any wild
thing that promised even the shadow of help； and so this is the insane
thing that I did。 I saw a family lunching at a small table on the
veranda； and recognized their nationalityAmericansfather； mother； and
several young daughtersyoung； tastefully dressed； and prettythe rule
with our people。 I went straight there in my civilian costume； named my
name； said I was a lieutenant in the army； and told my story and asked
for help。
〃What do you suppose the gentleman did？ But you would not guess in
twenty years。 He took out a handful of gold coin and told me to help
myselffreely。 That is what he did。〃
The next morning the lieutenant told me his new letter of credit had
arrived in the night； so we strolled to Cook's to draw money to pay back
the benefactor with。 We got it； and then went strolling through the
great arcade。 Presently he said； 〃Yonder they are； come and be
introduced。〃 I was introduced to the parents and the young ladies； then
we separated； and I never saw him or them any m…
〃Here we are at Farmington；〃 said Twichell； interrupting。
We left the trolley…car and tramped through the mud a hundred yards or so
to the school； talking about the time we and Warner walked out there
years ago； and the pleasant time we had。
We had a visit with my niece in the parlor； then started for the trolley
again。 Outside the house we encountered a double rank of twenty or
thirty of Miss Porter's young ladies arriving from a walk； and we stood
aside； ostensibly to let them have room to file past； but really to look
at them。 Presently one of them stepped out of the rank and said：
〃You don
