letters to his son, 1752-第24章
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Monsieur de Maupertius （whom I hope you will get acquainted with） is； what one rarely meets with； deep in philosophy and； mathematics； and yet 'honnete et aimable homme'： Algarotti is young Fontenelle。 Such men must necessarily give you the desire of pleasing them； and if you can frequent them； their acquaintance will furnish you the means of pleasing everybody else。
'A propos' of pleasing； your pleasing Mrs。 F…d is expected here in two or three days； I will do all that I can for you with her： I think you carried on the romance to the third or fourth volume； I will continue it to the eleventh； but as for the twelfth and last； you must come and conclude it yourself。 'Non sum qualis eram'。
Good…night to you； child； for I am going to bed； just at the hour at which I suppose you are going to live； at Berlin。
LETTER CLXXXI
BATH； November 11； O。 S。 1752
MY DEAR FRIEND： It is a very old and very true maxim； that those kings reign the most secure and the most absolute； who reign in the hearts of their people。 Their popularity is a better guard than their army； and the affections of their subjects a better pledge of their obedience than their fears。 This rule is； in proportion； full as true； though upon a different scale； with regard to private people。 A man who possesses that great art of pleasing universally； and of gaining the affections of those with whom he converses； possesses a strength which nothing else can give him： a strength which facilitates and helps his rise； and which； in case of accidents； breaks his fall。 Few people of your age sufficiently consider this great point of popularity； and when they grow older and wiser； strive in vain to recover what they have lost by their negligence。 There are three principal causes that hinder them from acquiring this useful strength： pride； inattention； and 'mauvaise honte'。 The first I will not； I cannot suspect you of； it is too much below your understanding。 You cannot； and I am sure you do not think yourself superior by nature to the Savoyard who cleans your room； or the footman who cleans your shoes； but you may rejoice； and with reason； at the difference that fortune has made in your favor。 Enjoy all those advantages； but without insulting those who are unfortunate enough to want them； or even doing anything unnecessarily that may remind them of that want。 For my own part； I am more upon my guard as to my behavior to my servants； and others who are called my inferiors； than I am toward my equals： for fear of being suspected of that mean and ungenerous sentiment of desiring to make others feel that difference which fortune has； and perhaps too； undeservedly； made between us。 Young people do not enough attend to this； and falsely imagine that the imperative mood； and a rough tone of authority and decision； are indications of spirit and courage。 Inattention is always looked upon； though sometimes unjustly； as the effect of pride and contempt； and where it is thought so； is never forgiven。 In this article； young people are generally exceedingly to blame； and offend extremely。 Their whole attention is engrossed by their particular set of acquaintance； and by some few glaring and exalted objects of rank； beauty； or parts； all the rest they think so little worth their care； that they neglect even common civility toward them。 I will frankly confess to you； that this was one of my great faults when I was of your age。 Very attentive to please that narrow court circle in which I stood enchanted； I considered everything else as bourgeois； and unworthy of common civility； I paid my court assiduously and skillfully enough to shining and distinguished figures； such as ministers； wits； and beauties； but then I most absurdly and imprudently neglected； and consequently offended all others。 By this folly I made myself a thousand enemies of both sexes； who； though I thought them very insignificant； found means to hurt me essentially where I wanted to recommend myself the most。 I was thought proud； though I was only imprudent。 A general easy civility and attention to the common run of ugly women； and of middling men； both which I sillily thought； called； and treated； as odd people； would have made me as many friends； as by the contrary conduct I made myself enemies。 All this too was 'a pure perte'； for I might equally； and even more successfully； have made my court； when I had particular views to gratify。 I will allow that this task is often very unpleasant； and that one pays； with some unwillingness； that tribute of attention to dull and tedious men； and to old and ugly women； but it is the lowest price of popularity and general applause； which are very well worth purchasing were they much dearer。 I conclude this head with this advice to you： Gain； by particular assiduity and address； the men and women you want； and； by an universal civility and attention； please everybody so far as to have their good word； if not their goodwill； or； at least； as to secure a partial neutrality。
'Mauvaise honte' not only hinders young people from making； a great many friends； but makes them a great many enemies。 They are ashamed of doing the thing they know to be right； and would otherwise do； for fear of the momentary laugh of some fine gentleman or lady； or of some 'mauvais plaisant'。 I have been in this case： and have often wished an obscure acquaintance at the devil； for meeting and taking notice of me when I was in what I thought and called fine company。 I have returned their notice shyly； awkwardly； and consequently offensively； for fear of a momentary joke； not considering； as I ought to have done； that the very people who would have joked upon me at first； would have esteemed me the more for it afterward。 An example explains a rule best： Suppose you were walking in the Tuileries with some fine folks； and that you should unexpectedly meet your old acquaintance； little crooked Grierson； what would you do？ I will tell you what you should do； by telling you what I would now do in that case myself。 I would run up to him； and embrace him； say some kind of things to him； and then return to my company。 There I should be immediately asked： 'Mais qu'est ce que c'est donc que ce petit Sapajou que vous avez embrasse si tendrement？ Pour cela； l'accolade a ete charmante'； with a great deal more festivity of that sort。 To this I should answer； without being the least ashamed； but en badinant： O je ne vous dirai tas qui c'est； c'est un petit ami que je tiens incognito； qui a son merite； et qui； a force d'etre connu； fait oublier sa figure。 Que me donnerez…vous； et je vous le presenterai'？ And then； with a little more seriousness； I would add： 'Mais d'ailleurs c'est que je ne desavoue jamais mes connoissances； a cause de leur etat ou de leur figure。 Il faut avoir bien peu de sentimens pour le faire'。 This would at once put an end to that momentary pleasantry； and give them all a better opinion of me than they had before。 Suppose another case； and that some of the finest ladies 'du bon ton' should come into a room； and find you sitting by； and talking politely to 'la vieille' Marquise de Bellefonds； the joke would； for a moment； turn upon that 'tete…a…tete'： He bien！ avez vous a la fin fixd la belle Marquise？ La partie est…elle faite pour la petite maison？ Le souper sera galant sans doute： Mais ne faistu donc point scrupule de seduire une jeune et aimable persone comme celle…la'？ To this I should answer： 'La partie n'etoit pas encore tout…a fait liee； vous nous avez interrompu； mais avec le tems que fait…on？ D'ailleurs moquezvous de mes amours tant qu'il vous plaira； je vous dirai que je respecte tant les jeunes dames； que je respecte meme les vieilles； pour l'avoir ete。 Apre cela il y a souvent des liaisons entre les vieilles et les jeunes'。 This would at once turn the pleasantry into an esteem for your good sense and your good…breeding。 Pursue steadily； and without fear or shame； whatever your reason tells you is right； and what you see is practiced by people of more experience than yourself； and of established characters of good sense and good…breeding。
After all this； perhaps you will say； that it is impossible to please everybody。 I grant it； but it does no
