the caged lion-第50章

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　the　abyss。　　To　his　terrified　apprehension；　he　had　abandoned　the　direct　and　narrow　path　for　the　fatal　road；　and　there　might　at　any　moment　be　captured；　and　whirled　away　by　the　grisly　phantom　Death；　who　had　just　snatched　the　mightiest　in　his　inevitable　clutch；　and　with　something　of　the　timidity　of　his　nature；　he　was　in　absolute　terror；　until　he　should　be　able　to　set　himself　back　on　the　shining　road　from　which　he　had　swerved；　and　be　rid　of　the　load　of　transgression　which　seemed　ready　to　sink　him　into　the　gulf。

Those　few　and　perfunctory　confessions　to　a　courtly　priest　who　knew　nothing　about　him；　and　was　sure　not　to　be　hard　on　a　king's　cousin；　now　seemed　to　add　to　his　guilt：　　and；　wandering　down…stairs　towards　the　chapel；　he　met　a　train　of　ecclesiastics　slowly　leaving　it；　having　just　been　relieved　by　a　bevy　of　monks　from　a　neighbouring　convent；　who　took　up　the　chants　where　they　had　left　them。

Looking　up　at　them；　he　recognized　Dr。　Bennet's　bent　head；　and　throwing　himself　before　him　on　his　knee；　he　gasped；　'O　father；　father！　hear　me！　　Take　me　back！　　Give　me　hope！'

'What　means　this；　my　young　lord？'　said　Dr。　Bennet；　pausing；　while　his　brethren　passed　on。　　'Are　you　sick？'　he　added；　kindly；　seeing　the　whiteness　of　Malcolm's　face；　and　his　startled　eye。

'Oh；　no；　no！　only　sick　at　heart　at　my　own　madness；　and　the　doom　on　it！　　O　Sir；　hear　me！　　Take　my　vow　again！　give　me　absolution　once　more　to　a　true　shrift。　　Oh；　if　you　will　hear　me；　it　shall　be　honest　this　time！　　Only　put　me　in　the　way　again。'

The　chaplain　was　sorely　sad　and　weary。　　He　it　was　whose　ministrations　had　chiefly　comforted　the　dying　King。　　To　him　it　had　been　the　loss　of　a　deeply…loved　son　and　pupil；　as　well　as　of　almost　unbounded　hopes　for　the　welfare　of　the　Church；　and　he　had　had　likewise；　in　the　freshness　of　his　sorrow；　to　take　the　lead　in　the　ecclesiastical　ceremonies　that　ensued；　so　that　both　in　body　and　mind　he　was　well…　nigh　worn　out；　and　longed　for　peace　in　which　to　face　his　own　private　sorrow；　but　the　wild　words　and　anguished　looks　of　the　young　Scot　showed　him　that　his　case　was　one　for　immediate　hearing；　and　he　drew　the　lad　into　the　confessional；　authoritatively　calmed　his　agitation；　and　prepared　to　hear　the　outpouring　of　the　boy's　self…reproach。

He　heard　it　allsifting　facts　from　fancies；　and　learning　the　early　purpose；　the　terror　at　the　cruel　world；　the　longing　for　peace　and　shelter；　the　desire　to　smooth　his　sister's　way；　which　had　led　him　to　devote　himself　in　heart　to　the　cloister；　though　never　permitted　openly　to　pledge　himself。　　Then　the　discovery　that　the　world　was　less　thorny　than　he　had　expected；　the　allurement　of　royal　favour　and　greatness；　the　charm　of　amusement；　and　activity　in　recovered　health；　the　cowardly　dread　of　scorn；　leading　him　not　merely　into　the　secular　life；　but　into　the　gradual　dropping　of　piety　and　devotion；　the　actual　share　he　had　taken　in　forbidden　diversions；　his　attempts　at　plunder；　his　ill…will　to　King　Henry；　and；　above　all；　his　persecution　of　Esclairmonde；　which　he　now　regarded　as　sacrilegious；　and　he　even　told　how　he　lay　under　a　half　engagement　to　Countess　Jaqueline　to　return　alone　to　the　Court；　and　bear　his　part　in　the　forcible　marriage　she　projected。

He　told　all；　with　no　extenuation；　nay；　rather　with　such　outbursts　of　opprobrium　on　himself；　that　Dr。　Bennet　could　hardly　understand　of　what　positive　evils　he　had　been　guilty；　and　he　ended　by　entreating　that　the　almoner　would　at　once　hear　his　vow　to　become　a　Benedictine　monk；　ere　…

But　Dr。　Bennet　would　not　listen。　　He　silenced　the　boy　by　saying　he　had　no　more　right　to　hear　it　than　Malcolm　as　yet　to　make　it。　　Nay；　that　inner　dedication；　for　which　Malcolm　yearned　as　a　sacred　bond　to　his　own　will；　the　priest　forbade。　　It　was　no　moment　to　make　such　a　promise　in　his　present　mood；　when　he　did　not　know　himself。　　If　broken；　he　would　only　be　adding　sin　to　sin；　nor　was　Malcolm；　with　all　his　errors　fresh　upon　him；　in　any　state　to　dedicate　himself　worthily。　The　errorswhich　in　Ralf　Percy；　or　in　most　other　youths；　might　have　seemed　slightwere　heavy　stains　on　one　who；　like　Malcolm；　had　erred；　not　thoughtlessly；　but　with　a　conscience　of　them　all；　in　wilful　abandonment　of　his　higher　principles。　　On　these　the　chaplain　mostly　dwelt；　on　these　he　tried　to　direct　Malcolm's　repentance；　and；　finding　that　the　youth　was　in　perpetual　extremes　of　remorse；　and　that　his　abject　submission　was　a　sort　of　fresh　form　of　wilfulness；　almost　passion　at　being　forbidden　to　bind　himself　by　the　vow；　he　told　him　that　the　true　token　of　repentance　was　steadiness　and　constancy；　and　that　therefore　his　absolution　must　be　deferred　until　he　had　thus　shown　that　his　penitence　was　true　and　sincereby　perseverance；　firstly；　in　the　devotions　that　the　chaplain　appointed　for　him；　and；　secondly；　in　meeting　whatever　temptations　might　be　in　store　for　him。　Nay；　the　cruel　chaplain　absolutely　forbade　the　white；　excited；　eager　boy　to　spend　half　the　night　in　chapel　over　the　first　division　of　these　penitential　psalms　and　prayers；　but　on　his　obedience　sent　him　at　once　to　his　bed。

Malcolm　could　have　torn　his　hair。　　Unabsolved！　　Still　under　the　weight　of　sin；　still　unpledged；　still　on　dangerous　ground；　still　left　to　a　secular　lifeand　that　without　Esclairmonde！　　Why　had　he　not　gone　to　a　French　Benedictine；　who　would　have　caught　at　his　vow；　and　crowned　his　penitence　with　some　magnificent　satisfying　asceticism？

Yet　something　in　his　heart；　something　in　the　father's　own　authority；　made　him　submit；　and　in　a　tumult　of　feeling；　more　wretched　even　than　before　his　confession；　he　threw　himself　on　his　bed；　expecting　to　charge　the　tossings　of　a　miserable　night　on　Dr。　Bennet；　and　to　creep　down　barefoot　to　the　chapel　in　the　early　morning　to　begin　his　Misereres。

Instead　of　which；　his　first　wakening　was　in　broad　daylight；　by　King　James　standing　over　him。　　'Malcolm；'　he　said；　'I　have　answered　for　you　that　you　are　discreet　and　trusty。　　A　message　of　weight　is　to　be　placed　in　your　hands。　　Come　with　me　to　the　Duke　of　Bedford。'

Malcolm　could　only　dress　himself；　and　obediently　follow　to　the　chamber；　where　sat　the　Duke；　his　whole　countenance　looking　as　if　the　light　of　his　life　had　gone　out；　but　still　steadfastly　set　to　bear　the　heavy　burden　that　had　been　placed　on　his　shoulders。

He　called　Malcolm　to　him；　and　showed　him　a　ring；　asking　whether　he　knew　it。

'The　King's　signetKing　Harry's；'　said　Malcolm。

He　was　then　reminded　how；　in　the　winter；　Henry　had　lost　the　ring；　and　after　having　caused　another　to　be　made　at　Paris；　had　found　it　in　the　finger　of　his　gauntlet。　　Very　few　knew　of　the　existence　of　this　duplicate。　　Bedford　himself　was　not　aware　of　it　till　it　had　been　mentioned　by　James　and　Lord　Fitzhugh　the　chamberlain；　and　then　search　was　made　for　it；　without　effect；　so　that　it　evidently　had　been　left　with　the　Queen。　　These　private　signets　were　of　the　utmost　importance；　far　more　so　than　even　the　autograph；　for；　though　signatures　were　just　acquiring　individuality　enough　to　become　the　best　authentication；　yet　up　to　this　very　reign　the　seal　was　the　only　valid　affirmation。　　Such　signets　were　always　destroyed　on　a　prince's　death；　and　it　was　of　the　utmost　importance　that　the　duplicate　should　not　be　left　in　Queen　Catherine's　handsabove　all；　while　she　was　with　her　mother　and　her　party；　who　were　quite　capable　of　affixing　it　to　forgeries。

Bedford；　James；　and　Fitzhugh　were　all　required　at　Vincennes；　the　two　latter　at　the　lying…in…state　in　the　chapel。　　Most　of　the　other　trusty　nobles　had　repaired　to　the　army；　and；　indeed；　Bedford；　aware　of　the　terrible　jealousies　that　were　sure　to　break　out　in　the　headless　realm；　did　not　choose　to　place　a　charge　that　might　hereafter　prove　invidious　in　the　hands　of　any　Englishman；　or　to　extend　the　secret　any　further　than　could　be　helped；　since　who　could　tell　what　suspicion　might　not　be　thus　cast　on　any　paper　sealed　by　Henry？

In　his　perplexity；　James　had　suggested　young　Malcolm；　who　had　assisted　in　the　search　for　the　lost　ring；　and　been　witness　to　its　discovery；　and　whom　he　could　easily　send　as　bearer　of　his　condolences　to　the　widowed　Queen；　who　had　indeed　the　entree　of　the　palace；　but　had　no　political　standing；　was　neither　French　nor　English；　and　had　shown　himself　discreet　enough　with　other　secrets　to　deserve　confidence。

Bedfor