henry ossian flipper-第25章
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which so completely changes the feelings of the plebes； and even cadets； who； when they reported； were not at all prejudiced on account of color。
It was rather late at night and extremely dark。 I was on guard and on post at the time。 Approaching the lower end of my post； No。 5； I heard my name called in a low tone by some one whom I did not recognize。 I stopped and listened。 The calling was repeated； and I drew near the place whence it came。 It proved to be a cadet； a classmate of mine； and then a sentinel on the adjacent post； No。 4。 We stood and talked quite awhile； as there was no danger either of being seen by other cadetsan event which those who in any manner have recognized me have strenuously avoidedor 〃hived standing on post。〃 It was too dark。 He expressed great regret at my treatment； hoped it would be bettered； assured me that he would ever be a friend and treat me as a gentleman should。
Another classmate told me； at another time； in effect the same thing。 I very naturally expected a fulfilment of these promises； but alas！ for such hopes！ They not only never fulfilled them； but treated me even as badly as all the others。 One of them was assigned a seat next to me at table。 He would eat scarcely anything； and when done with that he would draw his chair away and pretend to be imposed upon in the most degrading manner possible。 The other practised similar manoeuvres whenever we fell in at any formation of company or section。 They both called me 〃nigger；〃 or 〃dd nigger；〃 as suited their inclination。 Yet this ought； I verily believe； to be attributed not to them； but to the circumstances that led them to adopt such a course。
On one occasion； however； one of them brought to my room the integration of some differential equation in mechanics which had been sent me by our instructor。 He was very friendly then； apparently。 He told me upon leaving； if I desired any further information to come to his 〃house；〃 and he would give it。 I observed that he called me 〃Mr。 Flipper。〃
One winter's night； while on guard in barracks during supper； a cadet of the next class above my own stopped on my post and conversed with me as long as it was safe to do so。 He expressed as all have who have spoken to megreat regret that I should be so isolated； asked how I got along in my studies； and many other like questions。 He spoke at great length of my general treatment。 He assured me that he was wholly unprejudiced； and would ever be a friend。 He even went far enough to say； to my great astonishment； that he cursed me and my race among the cadets to keep up appearances with them； and that I must think none the less well of him for so doing。 It was a sort of necessity； he said； for he would not only be 〃cut；〃 but would be treated a great deal worse than I was if he should fraternize with me。 Upon leaving me he said； 〃I'm dd sorry to see you come here to be treated so； but I am glad to see you stay。〃
Unfortunately the gentleman failed at the examination； then not far distant； and of course did not have much opportunity to give proof of his friendship。 And thus；
〃The walk； the words； the gesture could supply； The habit mimic and the mien belie。〃
When the plebes reported in '76； and were given seats in the chapel； three of them were placed in the pew with myself。 We took seats in the following order； viz。； first the commandant of the pew； a sergeant and a classmate of mine； then a third…classman； myself； and the plebes。 Now this arrangement was wholly unsatisfactory to the third…classman； who turned to the sergeant and asked of him to place a plebe between him and myself。 The sergeant turned toward me； and with an angry gesture ordered me to 〃Get over there。〃 I refused； on the ground that the seat I occupied had been assigned me； and I therefore had no authority to change it。 Near the end of the service the third… classman asked the sergeant to tell me to sit at the further end of the seat。 He did so。 I refused on the same ground as before。 He replied； 〃Well； it don't make any difference。 I'll see that your seat is changed。〃 I feared he would go to the cadet quartermaster； who had charge of the arrangement of seats； and have my seat changed without authority。 I reported to the officer in charge of the new cadets； and explained the whole affair to him。
〃You take the seat；〃 said he； 〃assigned you in the guard house〃the plan of the church； with names written on the pews； was kept here； so that cadets could consult it and know where their seats were 〃and if anybody wants you to change it tell them I ordered you to keep it。〃
The next Sabbath I took it。 I was ordered to change it。 I refused on the authority just given above。 The sergeant then went to the commandant of cadets； who by some means got the impression that I desired to change my seat。 He sent for me and emphatically ordered me to keep the seat which had by his order been assigned me。 Thus the effort to change my seat； made by the third…classman through the sergeant； but claimed to have been made by me； failed。 It was out of the question for it to be otherwise。 If the sergeant had wanted the seat himself he would in all probability have got it； because he was my senior in class and lineal rank。 But the third…classman was my junior in both； and therefore could not； by any military regulation； get possession of what I was entitled to by my superior rank。 And the effort to do so must be regarded a marvellous display of stupidity； or a belief on the part of the cadet that I could be imposed upon with impunity； simply because I was alone and had shown no disposition to quarrel or demand either real or imaginary rights。
While in New York during my furloughsummer of '75 I was introduced to one of her wealthy bankers。 We conversed quite a while on various topics； and finally resumed the subject on which we began； viz。； West Point。 He named a cadet； whom I shall call for convenience John； and asked if I knew him。 I replied in the affirmative。 After asking various other questions of him； his welfare； etc。； he volunteered the following bit of information：
〃Oh！ yes；〃 said he； 〃I've known John for several years。 He used to peddle newspapers around the bank here。 I was agreeably surprised when I heard he had been appointed to a cadetship at West Point。 The boys who come in almost every morning with their papers told me John was to sell me no more papers。 His mother has scrubbed out the office here； and cleaned up daily for a number of years。 John's a good fellow though； and I'm glad to know of his success。〃
This information was to me most startling。 There certainly was nothing dishonorable in that sort of labornay； even there was much in it that deserved our highest praise。 It was honest； humble work。 But who would imagine from the pompous bearing assumed by the gentleman that he ever peddled newspapers； or that his mother earned her daily bread by scrubbing on her knees office floors？ And how does this compare with the average negro？
It is not to me very pleasant to thus have another's private history revealed； but when it is done I can't help feeling myself better in one sense at least than my self…styled superiors。 I certainly am not really one thing and apparently another。 The distant haughtiness assumed by some of them； and the constant endeavor to avoid me； as if I were 〃a stick or a stone； the veriest poke of creation；〃 had no other effect than to make me feel as if I were really so； and to discourage and dishearten me。 I hardly know how I endured it all so long。 If I were asked to go over it all again； even with the experience I now have； I fear I should fail。 I mean of course the strain on my mind and sensitiveness would be so great I'd be unable to endure it。
There is that in every man； it has been said； either good or bad； which will manifest itself in his speech or acts。 Keeping this in mind while I constantly study those around me； I find myself at times driven to most extraordinary conclusions。 If some are as good as their speech； then； if I may be permitted to judge； they have most devoutly observed that blessed commandment； 〃Honor thy father and thy mother； that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee；〃 in that they have profit
