a room with a view-第47章

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they　were　sunken　deep；　gleamed　with　a　child's　courage。



〃Why；　he　has　behaved　abominably；〃　she　said。　〃I　am　glad　he　is

sorry。　Do　you　know　what　he　did？〃



〃Not　'abominably；'〃　was　the　gentle　correction。　〃He　only　tried

when　he　should　not　have　tried。　You　have　all　you　want；　Miss

Honeychurch：　you　are　going　to　marry　the　man　you　love。　Do　not　go

out　of　George's　life　saying　he　is　abominable。〃



〃No；　of　course；〃　said　Lucy；　ashamed　at　the　reference　to　Cecil。

〃'Abominable'　is　much　too　strong。　I　am　sorry　I　used　it　about　your

son。　I　think　I　will　go　to　church；　after　all。　My　mother　and　my

cousin　have　gone。　I　shall　not　be　so　very　late〃



〃Especially　as　he　has　gone　under；〃　he　said　quietly。



〃What　was　that？〃



〃Gone　under　naturally。〃　He　beat　his　palms　together　in　silence；

his　head　fell　on　his　chest。



〃I　don't　understand。〃



〃As　his　mother　did。〃



〃But；　Mr。　EmersonMR。　EMERSONwhat　are　you　talking　about？〃



〃When　I　wouldn't　have　George　baptized；〃　said　he。



Lucy　was　frightened。



〃And　she　agreed　that　baptism　was　nothing；　but　he　caught　that

fever　when　he　was　twelve　and　she　turned　round。　She　thought　it　a

judgment。〃　He　shuddered。　〃Oh；　horrible；　when　we　had　given　up　that

sort　of　thing　and　broken　away　from　her　parents。　Oh；　horrible

worst　of　allworse　than　death；　when　you　have　made　a　little

clearing　in　the　wilderness；　planted　your　little　garden；　let　in

your　sunlight；　and　then　the　weeds　creep　in　again！　A　judgment！　And

our　boy　had　typhoid　because　no　clergyman　had　dropped　water　on　him

in　church！　Is　it　possible；　Miss　Honeychurch？　Shall　we　slip　back

into　the　darkness　for　ever？〃



〃I　don't　know；〃　gasped　Lucy。　〃I　don't　understand　this　sort　of

thing。　I　was　not　meant　to　understand　it。〃



〃But　Mr。　Eagerhe　came　when　I　was　out；　and　acted　according　to

his　principles。　I　don't　blame　him　or　any　one。。。　but　by　the　time

George　was　well　she　was　ill。　He　made　her　think　about　sin；　and　she

went　under　thinking　about　it。〃



It　was　thus　that　Mr。　Emerson　had　murdered　his　wife　in　the　sight

of　God。



〃Oh；　how　terrible！〃　said　Lucy；　forgetting　her　own　affairs　at

last。



〃He　was　not　baptized；〃　said　the　old　man。　〃I　did　hold　firm。〃　And

he　looked　with　unwavering　eyes　at　the　rows　of　books；　as　ifat

what　cost！he　had　won　a　victory　over　them。　〃My　boy　shall　go　back

to　the　earth　untouched。〃



She　asked　whether　young　Mr。　Emerson　was　ill。



〃Ohlast　Sunday。〃　He　started　into　the　present。　〃George　last

Sundayno；　not　ill：　just　gone　under。　He　is　never　ill。　But　he　is

his　mother's　son。　Her　eyes　were　his；　and　she　had　that　forehead

that　I　think　so　beautiful；　and　he　will　not　think　it　worth　while

to　live。　It　was　always　touch　and　go。　He　will　live；　but　he　will

not　think　it　worth　while　to　live。　He　will　never　think　anything

worth　while。　You　remember　that　church　at　Florence？〃



Lucy　did　remember；　and　how　she　had　suggested　that　George　should

collect　postage　stamps。



〃After　you　left　Florencehorrible。　Then　we　took　the　house　here；

and　he　goes　bathing　with　your　brother；　and　became　better。　You　saw

him　bathing？〃



〃I　am　so　sorry；　but　it　is　no　good　discussing　this　affair。　I　am

deeply　sorry　about　it。〃



〃Then　there　came　something　about　a　novel。　I　didn't　follow　it　at

all；　I　had　to　hear　so　much；　and　he　minded　telling　me；　he　finds　me

too　old。　Ah；　well；　one　must　have　failures。　George　comes　down

to…morrow；　and　takes　me　up　to　his　London　rooms。　He　can't　bear　to

be　about　here；　and　I　must　be　where　he　is。〃



〃Mr。　Emerson；〃　cried　the　girl；　〃don't　leave　at　least；　not　on　my

account。　I　am　going　to　Greece。　Don't　leave　your　comfortable

house。〃



It　was　the　first　time　her　voice　had　been　kind　and　he　smiled。　〃How

good　every　one　is！　And　look　at　Mr。　Beebe　housing　mecame　over

this　morning　and　heard　I　was　going！　Here　I　am　so　comfortable　with

a　fire。〃



〃Yes；　but　you　won't　go　back　to　London。　It's　absurd。〃



〃I　must　be　with　George；　I　must　make　him　care　to　live；　and　down

here　he　can't。　He　says　the　thought　of　seeing　you　and　of　hearing

about　youI　am　not　justifying　him：　I　am　only　saying　what　has

happened。〃



〃Oh；　Mr。　Emerson〃she　took　hold　of　his　hand　〃you　mustn't。　I've

been　bother　enough　to　the　world　by　now。　I　can't　have　you　moving

out　of　your　house　when　you　like　it；　and　perhaps　losing　money

through　itall　on　my　account。　You　must　stop！　I　am　just　going　to

Greece。〃



〃All　the　way　to　Greece？〃



Her　manner　altered。



〃To　Greece？〃



〃So　you　must　stop。　You　won't　talk　about　this　business；　I　know。　I

can　trust　you　both。〃



〃Certainly　you　can。　We　either　have　you　in　our　lives；　or　leave　you

to　the　life　that　you　have　chosen。〃



〃I　shouldn't　want〃



〃I　suppose　Mr。　Vyse　is　very　angry　with　George？　No；　it　was　wrong

of　George　to　try。　We　have　pushed　our　beliefs　too　far。　I　fancy

that　we　deserve　sorrow。〃



She　looked　at　the　books　againblack；　brown；　and　that　acrid

theological　blue。　They　surrounded　the　visitors　on　every　side；

they　were　piled　on　the　tables；　they　pressed　against　the　very

ceiling。　To　Lucy　who　could　not　see　that　Mr。　Emerson　was

profoundly　religious；　and　differed　from　Mr。　Beebe　chiefly　by　his

acknowledgment　of　passionit　seemed　dreadful　that　the　old　man

should　crawl　into　such　a　sanctum；　when　he　was　unhappy；　and　be

dependent　on　the　bounty　of　a　clergyman。



More　certain　than　ever　that　she　was　tired；　he　offered　her　his

chair。



〃No；　please　sit　still。　I　think　I　will　sit　in　the　carriage。〃



〃Miss　Honeychurch；　you　do　sound　tired。〃



〃Not　a　bit；〃　said　Lucy；　with　trembling　lips。



〃But　you　are；　and　there's　a　look　of　George　about　you。　And　what

were　you　saying　about　going　abroad？〃



She　was　silent。



〃Greece〃and　she　saw　that　he　was　thinking　the　word　over

〃Greece；　but　you　were　to　be　married　this　year；　I　thought。〃



〃Not　till　January；　it　wasn't；〃　said　Lucy；　clasping　her　hands。

Would　she　tell　an　actual　lie　when　it　came　to　the　point？



〃I　suppose　that　Mr。　Vyse　is　going　with　you。　I　hopeit　isn't

because　George　spoke　that　you　are　both　going？〃



〃No。〃



〃I　hope　that　you　will　enjoy　Greece　with　Mr。　Vyse。〃



〃Thank　you。〃



At　that　moment　Mr。　Beebe　came　back　from　church。　His　cassock　was

covered　with　rain。　〃That's　all　right；〃　he　said　kindly。　〃I　counted

on　you　two　keeping　each　other　company。　It's　pouring　again。　The

entire　congregation；　which　consists　of　your　cousin；　your　mother；

and　my　mother；　stands　waiting　in　the　church；　till　the　carriage

fetches　it。　Did　Powell　go　round？〃



〃I　think　so；　I'll　see。〃



〃Noof　course；　I'll　see。　How　are　the　Miss　Alans？〃



〃Very　well；　thank　you。〃



〃Did　you　tell　Mr。　Emerson　about　Greece？〃



〃II　did。〃



〃Don't　you　think　it　very　plucky　of　her；　Mr。　Emerson；　to　undertake

the　two　Miss　Alans？　Now；　Miss　Honeychurch；　go　backkeep　warm。　I

think　three　is　such　a　courageous　number　to　go　travelling。〃　And　he

hurried　off　to　the　stables。



〃He　is　not　going；〃　she　said　hoarsely。　〃I　made　a　slip。　Mr。　Vyse

does　stop　behind　in　England。〃



Somehow　it　was　impossible　to　cheat　this　old　man。　To　George；　to

Cecil；　she　would　have　lied　again；　but　he　seemed　so　near　the　end

of　things；　so　dignified　in　his　approach　to　the　gulf；　of　which　he

gave　one　account；　and　the　books　that　surrounded　him　another；　so

mild　to　the　rough　paths　that　he　had　traversed；　that　the　true

chivalrynot　the　worn…out　chivalry　of　sex；　but　the　true　chivalry

that　all　the　young　may　show　to　all　the　oldawoke　in　her；　and；　at

whatever　risk；　she　told　him　that　Cecil　was　not　her　companion　to

Greece。　And　she　spoke　so　seriously　that　the　risk　became　a

certainty；　and　he；　lifting　his　eyes；　said：　〃You　are　leaving　him？

You　are　leaving　the　man　you　love？〃



〃II　had　to。〃



〃Why；　Miss　Honeychurch；　why？〃



Terror　came　over　her；　and　she　lied　again。　She　made　the　long；

convincing　speech　that　she　had　made　to　Mr。　Beebe；　and　intended　to

make　to　the　world　when　she　announced　that　her　engagement　was　no

more。　He　heard　her　in　silence；　and　then　said：　〃My　dear；　I　am

worried　about　you。　It　seems　to　me〃dream