a room with a view-第18章

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deep　sighs；　which　nothing　could　repress。



〃I　want　to　be　truthful；〃　she　whispered。　〃It　is　so　hard　to　be

absolutely　truthful。〃



〃Don't　be　troubled；　dearest。　Wait　till　you　are　calmer。　We　will

talk　it　over　before　bed…time　in　my　room。〃



So　they　re…entered　the　city　with　hands　clasped。　It　was　a　shock　to

the　girl　to　find　how　far　emotion　had　ebbed　in　others。　The　storm

had　ceased；　and　Mr。　Emerson　was　easier　about　his　son。　Mr。　Beebe

had　regained　good　humour；　and　Mr。　Eager　was　already　snubbing　Miss

Lavish。　Charlotte　alone　she　was　sure　ofCharlotte；　whose

exterior　concealed　so　much　insight　and　love。



The　luxury　of　self…exposure　kept　her　almost　happy　through　the

long　evening。　She　thought　not　so　much　of　what　had　happened　as　of

how　she　should　describe　it。　All　her　sensations；　her　spasms　of

courage；　her　moments　of　unreasonable　joy；　her　mysterious

discontent；　should　be　carefully　laid　before　her　cousin。　And

together　in　divine　confidence　they　would　disentangle　and

interpret　them　all。



〃At　last；〃　thought　she；　〃I　shall　understand　myself。　I　shan't

again　be　troubled　by　things　that　come　out　of　nothing；　and　mean　I

don't　know　what。〃



Miss　Alan　asked　her　to　play。　She　refused　vehemently。　Music　seemed

to　her　the　employment　of　a　child。　She　sat　close　to　her　cousin；

who；　with　commendable　patience；　was　listening　to　a　long　story

about　lost　luggage。　When　it　was　over　she　capped　it　by　a　story　of

her　own。　Lucy　became　rather　hysterical　with　the　delay。　In　vain

she　tried　to　check；　or　at　all　events　to　accelerate；　the　tale。　It

was　not　till　a　late　hour　that　Miss　Bartlett　had　recovered　her

luggage　and　could　say　in　her　usual　tone　of　gentle　reproach：



〃Well；　dear；　I　at　all　events　am　ready　for　Bedfordshire。　Come　into

my　room；　and　I　will　give　a　good　brush　to　your　hair。〃



With　some　solemnity　the　door　was　shut；　and　a　cane　chair　placed

for　the　girl。　Then　Miss　Bartlett　said　〃So　what　is　to　be　done？〃



She　was　unprepared　for　the　question。　It　had　not　occurred　to　her

that　she　would　have　to　do　anything。　A　detailed　exhibition　of　her

emotions　was　all　that　she　had　counted　upon。



〃What　is　to　be　done？　A　point；　dearest；　which　you　alone　can

settle。〃



The　rain　was　streaming　down　the　black　windows；　and　the　great　room

felt　damp　and　chilly；　One　candle　burnt　trembling　on　the　chest　of

drawers　close　to　Miss　Bartlett's　toque；　which　cast　monstrous　and

fantastic　shadows　on　the　bolted　door。　A　tram　roared　by　in　the

dark；　and　Lucy　felt　unaccountably　sad；　though　she　had　long　since

dried　her　eyes。　She　lifted　them　to　the　ceiling；　where　the　griffins

and　bassoons　were　colourless　and　vague；　the　very　ghosts　of　joy。



〃It　has　been　raining　for　nearly　four　hours；〃　she　said　at　last。



Miss　Bartlett　ignored　the　remark。



〃How　do　you　propose　to　silence　him？〃



〃The　driver？〃



〃My　dear　girl；　no；　Mr。　George　Emerson。〃



Lucy　began　to　pace　up　and　down　the　room。



〃I　don't　understand；〃　she　said　at　last。



She　understood　very　well；　but　she　no　longer　wished　to　be

absolutely　truthful。



〃How　are　you　going　to　stop　him　talking　about　it？〃



〃I　have　a　feeling　that　talk　is　a　thing　he　will　never　do。〃



〃I；　too；　intend　to　judge　him　charitably。　But　unfortunately　I　have

met　the　type　before。　They　seldom　keep　their　exploits　to

themselves。〃



〃Exploits？〃　cried　Lucy；　wincing　under　the　horrible　plural。



〃My　poor　dear；　did　you　suppose　that　this　was　his　first？　Come　here

and　listen　to　me。　I　am　only　gathering　it　from　his　own　remarks。　Do

you　remember　that　day　at　lunch　when　he　argued　with　Miss　Alan　that

liking　one　person　is　an　extra　reason　for　liking　another？〃



〃Yes；〃　said　Lucy；　whom　at　the　time　the　argument　had　pleased。



〃Well；　I　am　no　prude。　There　is　no　need　to　call　him　a　wicked　young

man；　but　obviously　he　is　thoroughly　unrefined。　Let　us　put　it　down

to　his　deplorable　antecedents　and　education；　if　you　wish。　But

we　are　no　farther　on　with　our　question。　What　do　you　propose　to

do？〃



An　idea　rushed　across　Lucy's　brain；　which；　had　she　thought　of　it

sooner　and　made　it　part　of　her；　might　have　proved　victorious。



〃I　propose　to　speak　to　him；〃　said　she。



Miss　Bartlett　uttered　a　cry　of　genuine　alarm。



〃You　see；　Charlotte；　your　kindnessI　shall　never　forget　it。

Butas　you　saidit　is　my　affair。　Mine　and　his。〃



〃And　you　are　going　to　IMPLORE　him；　to　BEG　him　to　keep　silence？〃



〃Certainly　not。　There　would　be　no　difficulty。　Whatever　you　ask

him　he　answers；　yes　or　no；　then　it　is　over。　I　have　been

frightened　of　him。　But　now　I　am　not　one　little　bit。〃



〃But　we　fear　him　for　you；　dear。　You　are　so　young　and

inexperienced；　you　have　lived　among　such　nice　people；　that　you

cannot　realize　what　men　can　behow　they　can　take　a　brutal

pleasure　in　insulting　a　woman　whom　her　sex　does　not　protect　and

rally　round。　This　afternoon；　for　example；　if　I　had　not　arrived；

what　would　have　happened？〃



〃I　can't　think；〃　said　Lucy　gravely。



Something　in　her　voice　made　Miss　Bartlett　repeat　her　question；

intoning　it　more　vigorously。



〃What　would　have　happened　if　I　hadn't　arrived？〃



〃I　can't　think；〃　said　Lucy　again。



〃When　he　insulted　you；　how　would　you　have　replied？〃



〃I　hadn't　time　to　think。　You　came。〃



〃Yes；　but　won't　you　tell　me　now　what　you　would　have　done？〃



〃I　should　have〃　She　checked　herself；　and　broke　the　sentence

off。　She　went　up　to　the　dripping　window　and　strained　her　eyes

into　the　darkness。　She　could　not　think　what　she　would　have　done。



〃Come　away　from　the　window；　dear；〃　said　Miss　Bartlett。　〃You　will

be　seen　from　the　road。〃



Lucy　obeyed。　She　was　in　her　cousin's　power。　She　could　not

modulate　out　the　key　of　self…abasement　in　which　she　had　started。

Neither　of　them　referred　again　to　her　suggestion　that　she　should

speak　to　George　and　settle　the　matter；　whatever　it　was；　with　him。



Miss　Bartlett　became　plaintive。



〃Oh；　for　a　real　man！　We　are　only　two　women；　you　and　I。　Mr。　Beebe

is　hopeless。　There　is　Mr。　Eager；　but　you　do　not　trust　him。　Oh；

for　your　brother！　He　is　young；　but　I　know　that　his　sister's

insult　would　rouse　in　him　a　very　lion。　Thank　God；　chivalry　is　not

yet　dead。　There　are　still　left　some　men　who　can　reverence　woman。〃



As　she　spoke；　she　pulled　off　her　rings；　of　which　she　wore

several；　and　ranged　them　upon　the　pin　cushion。　Then　she　blew　into

her　gloves　and　said：



〃It　will　be　a　push　to　catch　the　morning　train；　but　we　must　try。〃



〃What　train？〃



〃The　train　to　Rome。〃　She　looked　at　her　gloves　critically。



The　girl　received　the　announcement　as　easily　as　it　had　been

given。



〃When　does　the　train　to　Rome　go？〃



〃At　eight。〃



〃Signora　Bertolini　would　be　upset。〃



〃We　must　face　that；〃　said　Miss　Bartlett；　not　liking　to　say　that

she　had　given　notice　already。



〃She　will　make　us　pay　for　a　whole　week's　pension。〃



〃I　expect　she　will。　However；　we　shall　be　much　more　comfortable　at

the　Vyses'　hotel。　Isn't　afternoon　tea　given　there　for　nothing？〃



〃Yes；　but　they　pay　extra　for　wine。〃　After　this　remark　she

remained　motionless　and　silent。　To　her　tired　eyes　Charlotte

throbbed　and　swelled　like　a　ghostly　figure　in　a　dream。



They　began　to　sort　their　clothes　for　packing；　for　there　was　no

time　to　lose；　if　they　were　to　catch　the　train　to　Rome。　Lucy；　when

admonished；　began　to　move　to　and　fro　between　the　rooms；　more

conscious　of　the　discomforts　of　packing　by　candlelight　than　of　a

subtler　ill。　Charlotte；　who　was　practical　without　ability；　knelt

by　the　side　of　an　empty　trunk；　vainly　endeavouring　to　pave　it

with　books　of　varying　thickness　and　size。　She　gave　two　or　three

sighs；　for　the　stooping　posture　hurt　her　back；　and；　for　all　her

diplomacy；　she　felt　that　she　was　growing　old。　The　girl　heard　her

as　she　entered　the　room；　and　was　seized　with　one　of　those

emotional　impulses　to　which　she　could　never　attribute　a　cause。

She　only　felt　that　the　candle　would　burn　better；　the　packing　go

easier；　the　world　be　happier；　if　she　could　give　and　receive　some

human　love。　The　impu