a summer in a canyon-第30章
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cheeks and such flashing eyes that Laura involuntarily retreated
towards the door； half afraid of the tempest her words had evoked。
'Don't dare to say another word； or I don't know what I may do！ Yes；
I am glad you are going； and everybody will be glad； and the sooner
you go the better！ You've made everybody miserable ever since you
came； with your jealousy and your gossip and your fine…lady airs； and
if Aunt Truth hadn't loved your mother； and if we were mean enough to
tell tales； we would have repeated some of your disagreeable speeches
long ago。 How can you dare to say I love the Winships for anything
but themselves？ And if you had ever seen my darling mother； you
never could have called her a boarding…house keeper； you cruel'
Oh； but the dashing torrent of angry words stopped at the mere
mention of her mother。 The word recalled her to herself； but too
late。 It woke in her memory the clasp of her mother's arms； the
sound of the sweet； tired voice： 'Only two of us against the big
world； Pollyyou and I。 Be brave； little daughter； brave and
patient。' Oh； how impatient and cowardly she had been！ Would she
never learn to be good？ The better impulses rushed back into her
heart； and crowded out the bad ones so quickly that in another moment
she would have flung herself at Laura's feet； and implored her
forgiveness merely to gain again her own self…respect and her
mother's approval； but there was no time for repentance （there isn't
sometimes）； for the clatter of wheels announced Pancho's approach
with the team； and Mrs。 Winship and Anne Burton came into view；
walking rapidly towards the tent。
Laura was a good deal disconcerted at their ill…timed appearance； but
reflected rapidly that if Mrs。 Winship had overheard anything； it was
probably Polly's last speech； in which case that young person would
seem to be more in fault than herself； so stepping out of the tent
she met Mrs。 Winship and kissed her good…bye。
Little Anne ran on and jumped into the wagon； with all a child's joy
at the prospect of going anywhere。 Polly's back was turned； but she
could not disappear entirely within the tent without causing Mrs。
Winship surprise； and she went through a lifetime of misery and self…
reproach in that minute of shame and fear； when she dared neither to
advance nor retreat。
'I don't quite like to let you go alone； Laura； without consulting
the doctor； and I can't find him；' said Mrs。 Winship。 'Why； you are
nervous and trembling！ Hadn't you better wait until to…morrow？'
'No； thank you； Mrs。 Winship。 I am all ready now； and would prefer
to go。 I think perhaps I have stayed quite long enough； as Polly has
just told me that everybody is glad to see the last of me； and that
I've made you all miserable since I came。
This was the climax to Polly's misery； for she was already so
overcome by the thought of her rudeness that she was on the point of
begging Laura's pardon for that particular speech then and there； and
she had only to hear her exact words repeated to feel how they would
sound in Mrs。 Winship's ears。
Mrs。 Winship was so entirely taken aback by Laura's remark； that she
could only ejaculate； 'Pollysaidthat！ What do you mean？'
'Oh； I am quite ready to think she said more than she intended； but
those were her words。'
'Polly！'
Polly turned。 Alas！ it was plain enough that this was no false
accusation。 Her downcast eyes； flushed； tear…stained cheeks；
quivering lips； and the silent shame of her whole figure； spoke too
clearly。
'Can it be possible； Polly； that you spoke in such a way to a guest
who was about to leave my house？'
'Yes。'
The word was wrung from Polly's trembling lips。 What could she say
but 'Yes；'it was true；and how could she repeat the taunts that
had provoked her to retort？ They were not a sufficient excuse； and
for that matter； nothing could be a sufficient excuse for her
language。 Now that she was confronted with her own fault； Laura's
seemed so small beside it that she would have been ashamed to offer
it as any justification。
Mrs。 Winship grew pale； and for a moment was quite at a loss as to
the treatment of such a situation。
'Don't say any more about it； Mrs。 Winship；' said Laura； 'we were
both angry； or we should never have forgotten ourselves； and I shall
think no more of it。' Laura spoke with such an air of modest virtue；
and seemed so ready to forgive and forget； that Polly in her silence
and confusion appeared worse than ever。
'But I want you to remember that you are my guest； not Pauline's；
that I asked you to come and ask you to remain。 I cannot allow you
to go simply because you do not chance to be a favourite with another
of my guests。' （Oh！ the pang these words gave Polly's faulty； tender
little heart！）
'I am only going because I feel so ill；not a bit because of what
Polly said； I was in the wrong； too； perhaps； but I promise not to
let anybody nor anything make me quarrel when I visit you again。
Good…bye！' and Laura stepped into the wagon。
'I trust you will not mention this to your mother； since I hope it is
the only unpleasant incident of your visit； and it is no fault of
mine that you go away with an unhappy impression of our hospitality。'
Here Mrs。 Winship reached up and kissed little Anne； and as the
horses were restive； and no one seemed to have anything further to
say； Pancho drove off。
'I don't care to talk with you any more at present； Polly；' said Mrs。
Winship。 'I am too hurt and too indignant to speak of your conduct
quietly。 I know the struggles you have with your temper； and I am
quite willing to sympathise with you even when you do not come off
victorious； but this is something quite different。 I can't conceive
how any amount of provocation or dislike could have led you into such
disloyalty to me'； and with this she walked away。
Polly staggered into a little play…room tent of Dicky's； where she
knew that she could be alone； pinned the curtains together so that no
one could peep in； and threw herself down upon the long cushioned
seat where Dicky was wont to take his afternoon nap。 There； in grief
and despair； she sobbed the afternoon through； dreading to be
disturbed and dreading to be questioned。
'My beautiful birthday spoiled；' she moaned； 'and all my own fault！
I was so happy this morning； but now was ever anybody so miserable as
I？ And even if I tell Aunt Truth what Laura said； she will think it
no excuse； and it isn't！'
As it neared supper…time she made an opening in the back of the tent；
and after long watching caught sight of Gin on his way to the brook
for water； signalled him； and gave him this despairing little note
for Mrs。 Winship：…
Dear Aunt Truth；I don't ask you to forgive meI don't deserve to
be forgivenbut I ask you to do me just one more of your dear little
kindnesses。 Let me stay alone in Dicky's tent till morning； and
please don't let any one come near me。 You can tell everybody the
whole story to…night； if you think best； though I should be glad if
only Dr。 Paul and Bell need know； but I do not mind anything after
displeasing younothing can be so bad as that。 Perhaps you think I
ought to come out and confess it to them myself； as a punishment； but
oh； Aunt Truth； I am punishing myself in here alone worse than any
one else can do it。 I will go back to Santa Barbara any time that
you can send me to the stage station； and I will never ask you to
love me again until I have learned how to control my temper。 Your
wretched； wretched
POLLY。
P。S。I remember that it is my birthday； and all that you have done
for me； to…day and all the other days。 It looks as if I were
ungrateful； but in spite of what I did I am not。 The words just
blazed out； and I never knew that they were going to be said till I
heard them falling from my mouth。 It seems to me that if I ever
atone for this I will have a slate and pencil hanging to my belt； and
only write what I have to say。 POLLY。
The moisture came to Mrs。 Winship's eyes as she read this tear…
stained little note。 'There's something here I don't quite
understand；' she thought； 'and yet Polly confessed that Laura told
the truth。 Poor child！but
