hard cash-第49章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


odd；　benignly。

〃I　thank　ye　kindly；　ma'am；〃　and　she　sat　down。　〃Doctor；　it　is　that　pain。〃

〃Well；　don't　say　'that　pain。'　Describe　it。　Now　listen　all　of　ye；　ye're　goen　to　get　a　clinical　lecture。〃

〃If　_you_　please；　ma'am；〃　said　the　patient；　〃it　takes　me　here　under　my　left　breest；　and　runs　right　to　my　elbow；　it　do；　and　bitter　bad　'tis　while　it　do　last；　chokes　me　mostly；　and　I　feel　as　I　must　die：　and　if　I　was　to　move　hand　or　fut；　I　think　I　_should_　die；　that　I　do。〃

〃Poor　woman！〃　said　Mrs。　Dodd。

〃Oh；　she　isn't　dead　yet；〃　cried　Sampson　cheerfully。　〃She'll　sell　addled　eggs　over　all　our　tombstones；　that　is　to　say；　if　she　minds　what　I　bid　her。　When　was　your　last　spasm？〃

〃No　longer　agone　that　yestereen；　ma'am；　and　so　I　said　to　my　master；　'The　doctor　he　is　due　to…morrow；　Sally　up　at　Albion　tells　me；　and'〃

〃Whist！　whist！　who　cares　what　you　said　to　Jack；　and　Jill　said　to　you？　What　was　the　cause？〃

〃The　cause！　What；　of　my　pain？　He　says；　'What　was　the　cause？'〃

〃Ay；　the　cause。　Just　obsairve；　jintlemen；〃　said　Sampson；　addressing　imaginary　students；　〃how　startled　they　all　are　if　a　docker　deviates　from　profissional　habits　into　sceince；　and　takes　the　right　eend　of　the　stick　for　once　b'　asking　for　the　cause。〃

〃The　cause　was　the　will　of　God；　I　do　suppose；〃　said　Mrs。　Maxley。

〃Stuff！〃　shouted　Sampson　angrily。　〃Then　why　come　to　mortal　me　to　cure　you？〃

Alfred　put　in　his　oar。　〃He　does　not　mean　the　'final　cause；'　he　means　the　'proximate　cause。

〃My　poor　dear　creature；　I　bain't　no　Latiner；〃　objected　the　patient。

Sampson　fixed　his　eyes　sternly　on　the　slippery　dame。　〃What　I　want　to　know　is；　had　you　been　running　up…stairs？　or　eating　fast？　or　drinking　fast？　or　grizzling　over　twopence？　or　quarrelling　with　your　husband！　Come　now；　which　was　it？〃

〃Me　quarrel　with　my　man！　We　haven't　never　been　disagreeable；　not　once；　since　we　went　to　church　a　pair　and　came　back　a　couple。　I　don't　say　but　what　we　mayn't　have　had　a　word　or　two　at　odd　times；　as　married　folk　will。〃

〃And　the　last　time　you　had　a　word　or　twoy'　infairnal　quibblerwas　it　just　before　your　last　spasm；　eh？〃

〃Well；　it　might；　I　am　not　gainsaying　that：　but　you　said　quarrel；　says　you。　'Quarrel'　it　were　your　word；　and　I　defy　all　Barkton；　gentle　and　simple；　to　say　as　how　me　and　my　master〃

〃Whisht！　whisht！　Now；　jintlemen；　ye　see　what　the　great　coming　sceincethe　sceince　of　Healinghas　to　contind　with。　The　dox　are　all　fools；　but　one：　and　the　pashints　are　lyres；　ivery　man　Jack。　N'　listen　me；　y'　have　got　a　disease　that　you　can't　eradicate；　but　you　may　muzzle　it　for　years；　and　die　of　something　quite　different　when　your　time's　up。〃

〃Like　enough；　sir。　If　_you_　please；　ma'am；　Dr。　Stephenson　do　blame　my　indigestion　for　it。〃

〃Dr。　Stephenson's　an　ass。〃

〃Dear　heart；　how　cantankerous　you　be。　To　be　sure　Dr。　Osmond　he　says　no：　it's　muscular；　says　he。〃

〃Dr。　Osmond's　an　ijjit。　List　me；　You　mustn't　grizzle　about　money；　you　mustn't　gobble；　nor　drink　your　beer　too　fast。〃

〃You　are　wrong；　doctor；　I　never　drink　no　beer：　it　costs〃

〃Your　catlap；　then。　And　above　all；　no　grizzling！　Go　to　church　whenever　you　can　without　losing　a　farthing。　It's　medicinal；　soothes　the　brain；　and　takes　it　off　worldly　cares。　And　have　no　words　with　your　husband；　or　he'll　outlive　you；　it's　his　only　chance　of　getting　the　last　word。　Care　killed　a　cat；　a　nanimal　with　eight　lives　more　than　a　chatterbox。　If　you　worry　or　excite　your　brain；　little　Maxley；　you　will　cook　your　own　gooseby　a　quick　fire。〃

〃Dear　heart；　these　be　unked　sayings。　Won't　ye　give　me　nothing　to　make　me　better；　sir？〃

〃No；　I　never　tinker；　I　go　to　the　root：　you　may　buy　a　vile　of　chlorofm　and　take　a　puff　if　you　feel　premonory　symps：　but　a　quiet　brain　is　your　only　real　chance。　Now　slope；　and　send　the　male　screw。〃

〃Anan？〃

〃Your　husband。〃

〃That　I　will；　sir。　Your　sarvant；　doctor；　your　sarvant；　ma'am；　sarvant；　all　the　company。

Mrs。　Dodd　hoped　the　poor　woman　had　nothing　very　serious　the　matter。

〃Oh；　it　is　a　mortal　disease；〃　replied　Sampson；　as　cool　as　a　cucumber。　〃She　has　got　angina　pictoris　or　brist…pang；　a　disorder　that　admirably　eximplifies　the　pretinsions　of　midicine　t'　seeince。〃　And　with　this　he　dashed　into　monologue。

Maxley's　tall　gaunt　form　came　slouching　in；　and　traversed　the　floor；　pounding　it　with　heavy　nailed　boots。　He　seated　himself　gravely　at　Mrs。　Dodd's　invitation；　took　a　handkerchief　out　of　his　hat；　wiped　his　face；　and　surveyed　the　company；　grand　and　calm。　In　James　Maxley　all　was　ponderous：　his　head　was　huge；　his　mouth；　when　it　fairly　opened；　revealed　a　chasm；　and　thence　issued　a　voice　naturally　stentorian　by　its　volume　and　native　vigour；　but；　when　the　owner　of　this　incarnate　bassoon　had　a　mind　to　say　something　sagacious；　he　sank　at　once　from　his　habitual　roar　to　a　sound　scarce　above　a　whisper；　a　contrast　mighty　comical　to　hear；　though　on　paper　_nil。_

〃Well；　what　is　it　Maxley！　Rheumatism　again？〃

〃No；　that　it　ain't；〃　bellowed　Maxley　defiantly。

〃What　then？　Come；　look　sharp。〃

〃Well；　then；　doctor；　I'll　tell　you。　I'm　sore　troubledwithamouse。〃

This　malady；　announced　in　the　tone　of　a　proclamation；　and　coming　after　so　much　solemn　preparation；　amused　the　party　considerably；　although　parturient　mountains　had　ere　then　produced　muscipular　abortions。

〃A　mouse！〃　inquired　Sampson　disdainfully。　〃Where？　Up　your　sleeve？　Don't　come　to　me：　go　t'　a　sawbones　and　have　your　arm　cut　off。　I've　seen　'em　mutilate　a　pashint　for　as　little。〃

Maxley　said　it　was　not　up　his　sleeve；　worse　luck。

On　this　Alfred　hazarded　a　conjecture。　〃Might　it　not　have　gone　down　his　throat？　Took　his　potato…trap　for　the　pantry…door。　Ha！　ha！〃

〃Ay；　I　hear　ye；　young　man；　a…laughing　at　your　own　sport；〃　said　Maxley；　winking　his　eye；　〃but　'tain't　the　biggest　mouth　as　catches　the　most。　You　sits　yander　fit　to　bust；　but　（with　a　roar　like　a　lion）　ye　never　offers　_me_　none　on't；　neither　sup　nor　bit。〃

At　this　sudden　turn　of　Mr。　Maxley's　wit；　light　and　playful　as　a　tap　of　the　old　English　quarter…staff；　they　were　a　little　staggered；　all　but　Edward；　who　laughed　and　supplied　him　zealously　with　sandwiches。

〃You're　a　gentleman；　you　are；〃　said　Maxley；　looking　full　at　Sampson　and　Alfred　to　point　the　contradistinction。

Having　thus　disposed　of　his　satirists；　he　contemplated　the　sandwiches　with　an　inquiring　and　philosophic　eye。　〃Well；〃　said　he；　after　long　and　thoughtful　inspection；　〃you　gentlefoiks　won't　die　of　hard　work；　your　sarvants　must　cut　the　very　meat　to　fit　your　mouths。〃　And　not　to　fall　behind　the　gentry　in　a　great　and　useful　department　of　intelligence；　he　made　precisely　one　mouthful　of　each　sandwich。

Mrs。　Dodd　was　secretly　amazed；　and；　taking　care　not　to　be　noticed　by　Maxley；　said　confidentially；　_〃Monsieur　avait　bien　raison；　le　souris　a　passe：　par　la。_〃

The　plate　cleared；　and　washed　down　with　a　tumbler　of　port；　Maxley　resumed；　and　informed　the　doctor　that　the　mouse　was　at　this　moment　in　his　garden　eating　his　bulbs。　〃And　I　be　come　here　to　put　an　end　to　her；　if　I've　any　luck　at　all。〃

Sampson　told　him　he　needn't　trouble。　〃Nature　has　put　an　end　to　her　as　long　as　her　body。〃

Mr。　Maxley　was　puzzled　for　a　moment；　then　opened　his　mouth　from　ear　to　ear　in　a　guffaw　that　made　the　glasses　ring。　His　humour　was　perverse。　He　was　wit…proof　and　fun…proof；　but　at　a　feeble　jest　would　sometimes　roar　like　a　lion　inflated　with　laughing…gas。　Laughed　he　ever　so　loud　and　long；　he　always　ended　abruptly　and　without　gradationhis　laugh　was　a　clean　spadeful　dug　out　of　Merriment。　He　resumed　his　gravity　and　his　theme　all　in　an　instant。　〃White　arsenic　she　won't　look　at　for　I've　tried　her；　but　they　tell　me　there's　another　sweetmeat　come　up；　which　they　call　it　striek　nine〃

〃Hets！　let　the　poor　beasty　alone。　Life's　as　sweet　tit　as　tus。〃

〃If　_you_　was　a　gardener；　you'd　feel　for　the　bulbs；　not　for　the　varmin；〃　remonstrated　Maxley　rather　arrogantly。

〃But　bein'　a　man　of　sceince；　I　feel　for　th'　higher　organisation。　Mice　are　a　part　of　Nature；　as　much　as　market…gardeners。〃

〃So　be　stoats；　and　adders；　and　doctors。〃

Sampson　appealed：　〃Jintlemen；　here's　a　pretty　pashint：　reflects　on　our　lairned　profission；　and　it　never　cost　him　a　guinea；　for　the　dog　never　pays。〃

〃Don't　let　my　chaff　choke　ye；　doctor。　That　warn't　meant　for　_you_　altogether。　So　if　you　_have_　got　a　little　b