the foundations of personality-第85章

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appetite　that　characterizes　his　every　activity。　O。　is　no　mystic；　proclaiming　his　unity　with　all　existence；　in　the　fashion　of　Walt　Whitman。　Rather　he　is　a　man　with　a　huge　capacity　for　pleasure；　not　easily　disgusted　or　annoyed；　with　desires　that　reach　in　every　direction　yet　with　controlled　purpose　to　guide　his　life。　As　he　passes　into　middle　age　he　finds　his　pleasures　narrowing；　as　all　men　do；　and　he　finds　his　appetites　and　tastes　are　becoming　more　restricted。　This　is　because　his　purpose　becomes　more　dominant；　his　habits　are　more　imperious；　his　energy　less　exuberant。　In　thought　O。　is　almost　a　pessimist　because　his　knowledge　of　life；　his　intelligence　and　his　sympathy　make　it　difficult　to　understand　the　need　of　suffering；　of　disease　and　of　conflict。　But　in　emotion　he　still　remains　an　optimist；　glad　to　be　alive　at　any　price　and　rejoicing　in　the　life　of　all　things。　Apropos　of　this　contradiction　between　thought　and　mood；　it　is　sometimes　found　reversed。　There　are　those　whose　philosophy　is　optimistic；　who　will　not　see　aught　but　good　in　the　world；　yet　whose　facial　expression　and　actions　exhibit　an　essential　melancholy。　In　every　category　of　character　there　are　specialists；　individuals　whose　main　reactions　are　built　around　one　great　trait。　Thus　there　are　those　whose　egoism　takes　the　form　of　pride　in　family；　or　in　personal　beauty；　or　some　intellectual　capacity；　or　in　being　independent　of　others；　who　worship　self…reliance　or　self…importance。　There　are　the　individuals　whose　social　instincts　express　themselves　in　loquacity；　in　a　talkativeness　that　is　the　main　joy　of　their　lives；　though　not　at　all　the　joy　of　other　lives。　A　fascinating　series　of　personalities　in　this　respect　come　to　my　mindL。　B。；　who　talks　at　people；　never　with　them；　since　he　seems　to　take　no　note　of　their　replies；　T。　K。；　who　seems　to　regard　conversation　as　largely　a　means　of　demonstrating　her　superiority；　for　she　picks　her　subjects　with　the　care　a　general　selects　his　battlefield；　F。；　who　is　a　born　pedagogue　and　seeks　to　instruct　whoever　listens　to　him；　whose　conversation　is　a　lecture　and　a　monologue；　R。　O。；　the　reticent；　says　little　but　that　pertinent　and　relevant；　cynical　and　shrewd；　and　R。　V。；　who　says　little　and　that　with　timidity　and　error。　So　there　are　specialists　in　caution　and　〃common　sense；〃　self…controlled；　never　rash；　calculating；　cool　and　egotistic；　narrow　and　successful。　Every　one　knows　this　type；　as　every　one　knows　the　〃fool；〃　with　his　poor　judgment；　his　unwise　confidence　in　himself　and　others；　his　lack　of　restraint。　There　is　the　tactful　man；　conciliating；　pliant；　seeking　his　purposes　through　the　good　will　of　others　which　he　obtains　by　〃oil〃　and　agreeableness；　and　there　is　the　aggressive　man；　preferring　to　fight；　energetic；　at　times　rash；　apt　to　be　domineering；　and　crashing　on　to　victory　or　defeat　according　to　the　caliber　of　his　opponents　and　the　nature　of　the　circumstances。　Those　whose　ego　feeling　is　high；　whose　desire　for　superiority　matches　up　well　with　their　feeling　of　superiority　are　often　called　the　conceited。　Really　they　are　conceited　only　if　they　show　their　feelings；　as；　for　example；　does　W。　Wherever　he　goes　W。　seeks　to　occupy　the　center　of　the　stage；　brags　of　his　achievements　and　his　fine　qualities。　〃I　am　the　kind〃　is　his　prefix　to　his　bragging。　W。　thinks　that　everything　he　does　or　says　is　interesting　to　others；　and　even　that　his　illnesses　are　fascinating　to　others。　If　he　has　a　cold　he　takes　a　remarkable　pride　in　detailing　every　pain　and　ache　and　every　degree　of　temperature；　as　if　the　experience　were　remarkable　and　somehow　creditable。　But　W。　is　very　jealous　of　other's　achievements　and　is　bored　to　death　except　when　he　can　talk　or　perform。　W。　does　not　know　how　to　camouflage　his　egoism；　but　F。　does。　Fully　convinced　of　his　own　superiority　and　with　a　strong　urge　at　all　times　to　demonstrate　this；　he　〃knows　enough〃　to　camouflage；　to　disguise　and　modify　its　manifestations。　In　this　way　he　manages　to　be　popular；　just　as　W。　is　decidedly　unpopular；　and　many　mistake　him　for　modest。　When　he　wishes　to　put　over　his　own　opinion　he　prefaces　his　statements　by　〃they　say；〃　and　though　whatever　organization　he　enters　he　wishes　to　lead；　he　manages　to　give　the　impression　that　he　is　reluctant　to　take　a　prominent　part。　A　man　of　ability　and　good　judgment；　the　narrow　range　of　F。's　sympathies；　his　lack　of　sincere　cordial　feeling；　is　hidden　by　a　really　artistic　assumption　of　altruism　that　deceives　all　save　those　who　through　long　acquaintance　know　his　real　character。　One　sees　through　W。　on　first　meeting；　he　wears　no　mask　or　disguise；　but　F。　defies　detection；　though　their　natures　are　not　radically　different　except　in　wisdom　and　tact。　Half　and　more　of　the　actions；　poses　and　speech　of　men　and　women　is　to　demonstrate　superiority　or　to　avoid　inferiority。　There　are　some　who　feel　inwardly　inferior；　yet　disguise　this　feeling　successfully。　This　feeling　of　inferiority　may　arise　from　purely　accidental　matters；　such　as　appearance；　deformity；　tone　of　voice；　etc。；　and　the　individual　may　either　hide；　become　seclusive　or　else　brazen　it　out；　so　to　speak。　A　famous　Boston　physician　was　a　splendid　example　of　a　brusque；　overbearing　mask　used　to　hide　a　shrinking；　timid；　subjectively　inferior　personality。　Always　very　near…sighted　and　unattractive；　he　was　essentially　shy　and　modest　but　decided　or　felt　that　this　was　a　rough　world　and　the　way　to　get　ahead　was　to　be　rough。　Towards　the　weak　and　sick　he　was　kindness　itselfgentle；　sympathetic　and　patientbut　towards　his　colleagues　he　was　a　boor。　Distant；　haughty；　quick　to　demand　all　the　consideration　due　him；　he　was　noted　far　and　wide　for　the　caustic　way　he　attacked　others　for　their　opinions　and　beliefs　and　the　respect　he　required　for　his　own。　The　general　opinion　of　physicians　was　that　he　was　a　conceited；　arrogant；　aristocratic　man；　and　he　was　avoided　except　for　his　medical　opinion；　which　was　usually　very　sound。　Those　admitted　to　the　sanctum　of　this　man's　real　self　knew　him　to　be　really　modest　and　self…deprecatory；　anxious　to　do　right　and　almost　obsessed　by　the　belief　that　he　knew　but　little　compared　to　others。　One　day　there　walked　into　my　office　a　lady；　head　of　a　large　enterprise；　who　had　been　pointed　out　to　me　some　time　previously　as　the　very　personification　of　self…assurance　and　superiority。　A　dignified　woman　of　middle　age；　whose　reserve　and　correct　manners　impressed　one　at　once；　she　bore　out　in　career　and　casual　conversation　this　impression　of　one　whose　confidence　and　belief　in　herself　were　not　misplaced；　in　other　words；　a　harmoniously　developed　egotist。　What　she　came　to　consult　me　about；　washer　feeling　of　inferiority！　All　of　her　life；　said　she；　she　had　been　overawed　by　others。　As　a　girl　her　mother　ruled　her；　and　her　younger　sister；　more　charming　and　more　vivacious；　was　the　pet　of　the　family。　Brought　up　in　a　strict　church；　she　developed　a　firmness　of　speech　and　conduct　that　inhibited　the　frankness　and　friendliness　of　her　social　contacts。　Because　of　this；　and　her　overserious　attitudes　generally；　girls　of　her　own　age　rather　avoided　her；　and　she　became　painfully　self…conscious　in　their　company　as　well　as　in　the　company　of　men。　She　wanted　to　〃let　go〃　but　could　not；　and　in　time　felt　that　there　was　something　lacking　in　her；　that　people　laughed　at　her　behind　her　back　and　that　no　one　really　liked　her。　Her　reaction　to　this　was　to　determine　that　she　would　not　show　her　real　feelings；　that　she　would　deal　with　the　world　on　a　basis　of　〃business　only〃　and　cut　out　friendship　from　her　life。　Her　intelligence　and　her　devotion　to　her　work　brought　her　success；　and　she　would　have　gone　her　way　without　regard　for　her　〃inferiority　complex〃　had　not　chance　thrown　in　her　way　a　young　woman　colleague　who　saw　through　her　elder's　pose　and　became　her　friend。　My　patient　drank　in　this　friendship　with　an　avidity　the　greater　for　her　long　loneliness；　and　she　was　very　happy　until　the　younger　woman　fell　in　love　with　a　man　and　began　to　neglect　her　colleague。　This　broke　Miss　B。's　spirit。　〃Had　I　not　known　friendship　I　might　have　gone　on；　but　now　I　feel　that　every　one　must　see　what　a　fool　I　am　and　what　a　fool　I　have　been。　I　am　more　shy　than　ever；　I　feel　as　if　every　one　were　really　stronger　than　I　am；　and　that　some　day　everybody　will　see　through　my　pose；and　then　where　will　I　be？〃　Hide…and…go…seek　is　one　of　the　great