the foundations of personality-第82章

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　of　a　good　kind。　There　are　generous…hearted　people　always　ready　to　give　of　themselves　to　anything　or　anybody　that　needs　help。　Often　〃fooled〃　by　the　unworthy；　they　resolve　to　be　calm；　judicial　and　selfish；　and　then；their　generous　social　natures　over…ride　caution；　and　again　they　plunge　into　kindness　and　philanthropy。　F。　L。　is　one　of　these。　As　child；　boy　and　young　man　he　was　free…hearted　to　an　extraordinary　degree。　Ragamuffin；　stray　dog　or　cat；　tramp；　down　and　outer　of　every　kind　or　description；　these　enlisted　his　sympathy　and　help　despite　the　expostulation　and　remonstrance　of　a　series　of　conventional　good　people；　his　mother　and　father；　his　best　friends　and　his　outraged　wife。　The　latter　never　knew；　she　used　to　say；　what　he　would　bring　home　for　dinner。　〃He　always　forgot　to　bring　home　the　steak；　but　he　never　forgot　to　lug　along　some　derelict。〃　More　than　once　he　was　robbed；　often　he　was　imposed　upon。　Once　he　met　an　interesting　vagabond　who　spoke　several　languages；　quoted　the　Bible　with　ease　and　accuracy；　and　so　fired　the　heart　of　our　simple　man　that　he　bought　him　clothes　and　brought　him　home　to　stay。　His　wife　threw　up　her　hands　in　despair。　〃But；　my　dear；〃　said　F。　L。；　〃he's　a　scholar　who　has　fallen　on　evil　days。〃　〃Ah；〃　she　answered；　〃I　fear　it　will　be　an　evil　day　for　us　when　you　took　him　home。〃　She　had　a　good　chance　to　say；　〃I　told　you　so；〃　when　the　rogue　eloped　with　the　best　of　their　silver。　Not　only　is　F。　L。　impulsive　and　uninhibited　in　his　generosity；　but　his　〃pitch　in　and　help〃　quality　is　about　as　well　manifested　in　other　matters。　If　he　sees　a　man　or　boy　struggling　with　a　load；　he　immediately　forgets　that　he　is　over　fifty　and　well　dressed　and　steps　right　in　to　help。　He　saw　an　ash　and　garbage　manthis　is　his　wife's　star　storystruggling　to　lift　a　much　befouled　can　into　his　wagon。　F。　L。　left　his　wife　and　some　friends　without　a　word　and　with　a　cheery　word　threw　the　can　into　the　wagon。　Unfortunately　some　of　the　contents　splashed；　and　F。　L。　suffered　both　in　dignity　and　appearance　as　a　consequence。　He　had　to　go　home　by　back　alleys　and　had　to　endure　the　mirth　of　his　friends　for　a　long　time。　But　it　did　not　change　his　reactions　in　the　least；　although　he　was　really　vexed　with　himself　and　endeavored　to　be　conventional　and　self…controlled　for　a　while。　The　point　is　that　F。　L。　attempts　inhibition　of　generous　impulses　and　fails　as　ignominiously　as　a　drunkard　struggling　with　the　desire　to　drink。　Of　course　he　is　of　the　salt　of　the　earth。　Upon　such　uninhibited　fellowship　feeling　as　his　rests　the　ethical　progress　of　the　world。　A　dozen　inventors　contribute　less　to　their　fellow　men　than　does　he。　For　their　contributions　may　be　used　to　destroy　or　enslave　their　fellows；　and　it　is　a　commonplace　that　science　has　outstripped　morals。　But　his　contributions　spread　kindly　feeling　and　the　notion　of　the　brotherhood　of　man。　The　over…inhibited；　those　whose　every　impulse　and　desire　is　subjected　to　a　scrutiny　and　a　blocking；　often　come　to　the　attention　of　the　neuropsychiatrist。　But　there　are　many　〃normal〃　people　who　fall　into　this　group；　and　whose　conduct　throughout　life　is　marked　by　a　scrupulosity　that　is　painful　to　behold。　The　over…inhibition　may　take　specific　directions；　as　in　the　thrifty　who　check　their　desires　in　the　wish　to　save　money；　or　the　industrious　who　hold　up　their　pleasures　and　recreations　in　the　fear　that　they　are　wasting　time。　A　sub…group　of　the　over…inhibited　I　call　the　over…conscientious；　and　it　is　one　of　these　whose　history　is　epitomized　here。　K。　has　always　had　〃ingrowing　scruples；〃　as　his　exasperated　mother　once　said。　As　a　small　child　he　never　obeyed　the　impulse　to　take　a　piece　of　cake　without　looking　around　to　see　if　his　mother　and　father　approved。　He　would　not　play　unreservedly；　in　the　whole…hearted　impulsive　way　of　children；　but　always　held　back　in　his　enjoyment　as　if　he　feared　that　perhaps　he　was　not　doing　just　right。　When　he　started　to　go　to　school　his　fear　of　doing　the　wrong　thing　made　him　appear　rather　slow；　though　in　reality　he　was　bright。　The　other　children　called　him　a　〃sissy；〃　mistaking　his　conscientiousness　for　cowardice。　This　grieved　him　very　much；　and　his　father　undertook　to　educate　him　in　〃rough〃　ways；　in　fighting　and　wrestling。　He　succeeded　in　this　to　the　extent　that　K。　learned　to　fight　when　he　believed　that　he　was　being　wronged；　but　he　never　seemed　to　learn　the　aggressiveness　necessary　to　get　even　a　fair　share　of　his　rights。　His　mother；　a　similar　type；　rather　encouraged　him　in　this　virtue；　much　to　the　disgust　of　the　father。　Not　to　spend　too　long　a　time　over　K。's　history；　we　may　pass　quickly　over　his　school　years　until　he　entered　college。　He　was　a　〃grind〃　if　there　ever　was　one；　studying　day　and　night。　He　had　developed　well　physically　and　because　of　his　hard　work　stood　near　the　top　of　his　class。　He　took　no　〃pleasures〃　of　any　kind；that　is；　he　played　no　cards；　went　to　no　dances；　never　took　in　a　show　and　of　course　was　strictly　moral。　It　seems　that　the　main　factor　that　held　him　back　was　the　notion　he　had　imbibed　early　in　his　career　that　pleasure　itself　was　somehow　not　worthy；　that　an　ideal　of　work　made　a　sort　of　sin　of　wasting　time。　Whenever　he　indulged　himself　by　rest　or　relaxation；　even　in　so　innocent　a　way　as　to　go　to　a　ball　game；　there　was　in　the　back　of　his　mind　the　idea；　〃I　might　have　been　studying　this　or　that；　or　working　on　such　a　subject；　I　am　wasting　time；〃　and　the　pleasure　would　go。　By　nature　K。　was　sociable　and　friendly　and　was　well　liked；　but　he　avoided　friendships　and　social　life　because　of　the　unpleasant　reproaches　of　his　work　conscience　and　the　rigor　of　his　work　inhibitions。　He　grew　tired；　developed　a　neurasthenic　set　of　symptoms；　and　thus　I　first　came　in　contact　with　him。　Once　he　understood　the　nature　of　his　trouble；　which　I　labeled　for　him　as　a　〃hypertrophied　work　conscience；〃　he　set　himself　the　task　of　learning　to　enjoy；　of　throwing　off　inhibition；　of　innocent　self…indulgence；　and　my　strong　point　that　he　would　work　the　better　for　pleasure　took　his　fancy　at　once。　He　succeeded　in　part　in　his　efforts；　but　of　course　will　always　debate　over　the　right　and　wrong　of　each　step　in　his　life。　This　one　example　of　a　high　type　of　the　over…inhibited　must　do　for　the　group。　There　is　a　related　type　who　in　ordinary　speech　find　it　〃difficult　to　make　up　their　minds；〃in　other　words；　are　unable　to　choose。　Bleuler　has　used　the　term　ambivalent；　thus　comparing　these　individuals　to　a　chemical　element　having　two　bonds　and　impelled　to　unite　with　two　substances。　The　ambivalent　personalities　are　always　brought　to　a　place　where　they　yearn　for　two　opposing　kinds　of　action　or　they　fear　to　choose　one　affinity　of　action　as　against　the　other。　They　are　in　the　position　of　the　unfortunate　swain　who　sang；　〃How　happy　I　could　be　with　either；　were　t'other　dear　charmer　away。〃　M。　is　one　of　these　helpless　ambivalent　folk；　always　running　to　others　for　advice　and　perplexed　to　a　frenzy　by　the　choices　of　life。　〃What　shall　I　do？〃　is　his　prime　question；　largely　because　he　fears　to　commit　himself　to　any　line　of　action。　Once　a　man　chooses；　he　shuts　a　great　many　doors　of　opportunity　and　gambles　with　Fate　that　he　has　chosen　right。　M。　knows　this　and　lacks　self…　confidence；　i。e。；　the　belief　that　he　will　choose　for　the　best　or　be　able　to　carry　it　through。　He　lacks　the　gambling　spirit；　the　willingness　to　put　his　destiny　to　fortune。　Often　M。　deliberates　or　rather　oscillates　for　so　long　a　time　that　the　matter　is　taken　from　his　hands。　Thus；　when　he　fell　in　love；　the　fear　of　being　refused；　of　making　a　mistake；　prevented　him　from　action；　and　the　young　woman　accepted　another；　less　ambivalent　suitor。　M。　is　in　business　with　his　father　and　is　entirely　a　subordinate；　because　he　cannot　choose。　He　carries　out　orders　well；　is　very　amiable　and　gentle；　is　liked　and　at　the　same　time　held　in　a　mild　contempt。　He　has　physical　courage　but　has　not　the　hardihood　of　soul　to　take　on　responsibility　for　choosing。　Sometimes　he　gets　good　ideas；　but　never　dares　to　put　them　into　execution　and　shifts　that　to　others。　He　hates　himself　for　this　weakness　in　an　essential　phase　of　personality　but　is　gradually　accepting　himself　as　an　inferior　person；　despite　intelligence；　training　and　social　connection。　Yet　his　sister　is　exactly　the　opposite　type。　She　makes　decisions　with　great　promptness；　never　hesitates；　is　〃cocksure〃　and