the foundations of personality-第80章
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etached； though friendly and kind。 He went to college； and his interest in sex became secondary almost immediately。 His student days were passed at Harvard at a time when Royce； Palmer； Santayanna； and James ruled in its philosophy； and H。 I。 became fascinated by these men and their subject。 His mind was again drawn into introspection； but in an organized manner。 He asked himself continually； 〃What are the purposes of life； why do we love； does man will or is he an automaton who watches the hands go around and thinks he moves them？〃 Where before his feeling of unreality was largely emotional； now it received an intellectual sanction； and he swung from hither to yon in a never…ending cycle。 He became wearied beyond measure by his thoughts； he envied the beasts of the field； the laborer in the ditch and all to whom life and living were realities not in the least to be examined and questioned。 Deliberately he decided to shift his interests；to buy an automobile and learn about it； to play cards； to have his love affair； to taste emotion and pleasure and to seek no intellectual sanction for them。 He disappeared from college for a year and came back tanned； ruddy and at rest。 He had found a capacity for interest and emotion outside of himself。 He had experienced phases of life about which he would not talk at first； but in later years he admitted that he had been a 〃man of the world。〃 He regretted much that had happened； but on the whole he rejoiced in an equanimity； in a capacity for objective interest； that he had never had before。 His introspective trend was still very strong； but it lent subtlety and wisdom to his life； rather than weakness。 Now and then he became harassed by a feeling of unreality； by a questioning skepticism that nullified happiness； and he felt himself divided by his intellect。 These he shook off by dropping his work； by hunting； fishing and accepting simple goals of activity。 Later on he married； and became a scholar of some note。 I think he now relishes life as well as any really thoughtful man of middle life can。 There is a personality type； the emotional introspective； whose interest in life is directed toward their own sensations and emotions。 They do not view people or things as having a value in themselves and for themselves； they deliberately view them as sources of a personal pleasurable sensation。 I do not mean the crude egoist who asks of anything or anybody； 〃What good is it （or he） for me？〃 but I mean that connoisseur in emotions； casually blase and bored； who seeks new sensations。 This is an introspective deviation of a serious kind； for the connoisseur in emotions rarely is happy and usually is most deeply miserable。 Bourget in his remarkable psychological novel； 〃A Love Crime；〃 has admirably drawn one of these characters。 The exquisite Armand； seeking pleasure constantly； is divided into the sensualist who seduces and ruins and the introspectionist who watches the proceeding with disgust and disillusion。 It is not an outraged conscience that is at work but the inability to feel without analyzing the feeling 〃Ah； for a single passion that might apply my entire sensibility to another being； like wet paper against a window pane。〃 This is the eternal tragedy of sophistication；that there results an anhedonia in large part manifested by a restless introspection。 The mind is drawn away from the outside world； and everything is seen out of proportion。 The hypochondriac directs his attention to his health and is in part a monothymic of the fear type。 Moliere's 〃Le Malade Imaginaire〃 is a classical study of this person； and I do not； presume to better it。 Modern popularizing of disease has distinctly increased the numbers of the hypochondriacs； or at any rate has made their fears more scientific。 Brain tumor； gastric ulcer； appendicitis； tuberculosis； heart disease； cancer； syphilis；often have I seen a hypochondriac run the gamut of all these deadly diseases and still retain his health。 The faddy habits they form are the sustenance of those who start the varied forms of vegetarianism； chewing cults； fresh…air fiends； wet…grass fanatics； back…to…nature societies； and the mild lunacies of our （and every） age。 One such hypochondriac； J。； after suffering from every disease in the advertising pages of the daily newspapers； developed a system of habits that finally became a disease in itself。 He rose at 6。30 each morning； stood naked in the middle of the room； took six deep breaths； rolled around on the floor and kicked his arms and legs about for fifteen minutes； took a drink of cold water； had a shower bath and a rub…down； shaved； attended to 〃certain bodily functions〃 （his term； not mine）； ate a breakfast consisting of gluten bread； two slices； one and one…half glasses of milk； a soft…boiled egg （three and one…half minutes） and an orange； walked to work； taking exactly twenty minutes to do it； opened the windows wide in his office （fighting with the other clerks who preferred comfort to fresh air）； ate a health luncheon at noon consisting of Postum； nuts； health bread； and two squares of milk chocolate； walked home at six； taking exactly 20 minutes to do it； washed； lay on the couch fifteen minutes with mind fixed on infinity （a Hindoo trick； so he heard）； ate dinner； which never varied much from rice； cream； potatoes； milk and； heritage of saner days； a small piece of pie！ All the day he watched each pain and ache； noted whether he belched or spit more than usual； and at night went to sleep at 10。30。 Needless to say he had no friends； was known as 〃that nut〃 and really broke down from too arduous an introspective existence。 The term self…denial has been used from earliest times to indicate what we have called inhibition。 But self…denial is fundamentally a wrong term； since it implies that the self is that which lusts and shirks； and that which controls desire and holds the individual to a consistent and ethical line of conduct is not the self。 In fact； the self is based on inhibition and control； and when there is failure in these regards there is self…failure。 Interesting is the under…inhibited person。 I mean by this term the one who consistently and in most relationship shows an inability to control the primitive instincts； impulses and desires。 J。 F。 may stand as a type that becomes the 〃black sheep〃 and in many cases the 〃criminal。〃 He comes of what is known as a 〃good family；〃 which in his case means that the parents are well…to…do； of good reputation and rather above the average in intelligence。 The brothers and sisters have all done well； are settled in their ways and are not to be distinguished from the people of their social set in manners or morals。 It was impossible to discipline J。 As a very young child he resisted his mother's efforts to train him into tidiness or restraint。 He stole whatever he desired； and though he was alternately punished and pleaded with； though he seemed to desire to please his parents； he continued to steal whenever there was opportunity。 At six he entered a neighbor's house； and while there took a purse that was lying on a table； rifled it of its contents and disappeared for nearly a day； when he was found in a down…town district； having gorged himself with candy and cake。 From then on his peculations increased； and his conduct became the scandal of his family； for he stole even from the maids employed in the house； as well as from guests。 In each case the stealing was apparently motivated to give a good time to himself and also to certain chums he made here and there in the city。 He would lie to evade punishment； but finally would yield； confess his guilt； express deepest repentance and accept his punishment with the sincerity of one fully conscious of deserving it。 In school he did poorly。 He was bright enough。 In fact； he was somewhat above the average in memory and comprehension and may be described as keen； but it was difficult for him to keep his attention consistently on any subject； and the discipline of school irked him。 He ran away several times to avoid school； and each time； until he was about fourteen； came back after a few days；bedraggled； hungry and repentant。 The freedom of the streets appealed to him as offering a life varied enough to suit his nature； and wi
