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第62章

the foundations of personality-第62章

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ies that emphasize his exceptional qualities。 The braggart however is a mere novice as compared with the 〃pathological liar;〃 who does not seem able to tell the truth; who invents continually and who will often deceive a whole group before he is found out。 The motive here is that curious type of superiority seeking which is the desire to be piteously interesting; to hold the center of the stage by virtue of adverse adventures or misfortunes。 Hence the wild white…slave yarns and the 〃orphan child〃 who has been abused。 Every police department knows these girls and boys; as does every social service agency。 I am afraid we all yield to the desire to be interesting or to make artistic our adventures。 To tell of what happens to us; of what we have seen or said or done exactly as it was; is difficult; not only because of faulty memory; but because we like to make the tale more like a story; because; let us say; of the artist in us。 Life is so incomplete and unfinished! We so rarely retort as we should have! And a bald recital of most events is not interesting and so;the proportions are altered; humor is introduced; the conversation becomes more witty; especially our share; and the adventure is made a little more thrilling。 And each who tells of it adds little or much; and in the end what is told never happened。 〃The Devil is the father of lies;〃 runs the old proverb。 If so; we have all given birth to some of his children。 Though direct lying is held to be harmful and socially disastrous; and evidence of either fear and cowardice or malevolence; the essential honesty of people is usually summed up in the term sincerity。 The advance of civilization is marked by the appearance of toleration; the recognition that belief is a private right; especially as concerns religion; and that sincerity in belief is more important than the nature of belief。 What is really implied by sincerity is the absence of camouflage or disguise; so that it becomes possible to know what a man believes and thinks by his words and his acts。 As a matter of fact; that ideal is neither realized nor desirable; and it is as wise and natural to inhibit the expression of our beliefs and feelings as it is to inhibit our actions。 To be frank with a man; to tell him sincerely that we believe he is a scoundrel; and that we hate him and to show this feeling by act; would be to plunge the world into barbarism。 We must disguise hate; and there are times when we must disguise love。 Sincerity is at the best only relative; we ought to be sincere about love; religion and the validity of our purposes; but in the little relationships sincerity must be replaced by caution; courtesy and the needs of efficiency。 In reality we ask for sincerity only in what is pleasant to us; the sincere whose frankness and honesty offend we call boors。 Sincere self…revelation; if well done; is one of the most esteemed forms of literary production。 Montaigne's preface to his 〃Essays〃 is a promise that he lived up to in the sincerity and frankness of his self and other analysis。 〃Pepy's Diary〃 charms because the naked soul of an Englishman of the seventeenth century is laid before us; with its trivialities; lusts; repentance and aspirations。 In the latter nineteenth century; Mary MacLane's diary had an extraordinary vogue because of the apparent sincerity of the eager original nature there revealed。 We love young children because their selfishness; their curiosity; their 〃real〃 nature; is shown to us in their every word and act。 In their presence we are relaxed; off our guard and not forced to that eternal hiding and studying that the society of our equals imposes on us。 We all long for sincerity; but the too sincere are treated much as the skeptic of Bjoriasen's tale; who was killed by his friends。 As they stood around his body; one said to the other; 〃There lies one who kicked us around like a football。〃 The dead man spoke; 〃Ah; yes; but I always kicked you to the goal。〃 The sincere of purpose must always keep his sincerity from wounding too deeply; he must always be careful and include his own foibles and failings in his attack; and he must make his efforts witty; so that he may have the help of laughter。 But here the danger is that he will be listed as a pleasant comedian; and his serious purpose will be balked by his reputation。 Sincerity; thus; is relative; and the insincere are those whose purposes; declared by themselves to be altruistic; are none the less egoistic; whose attachments and affections; loudly protested; are not lasting and never intense; and whose manners do not reflect what they themselves are but what they think will be pleasing and acceptable to others。 The relatively sincere seek to make their outer behavior conform; within the possibilities; to their inner natures; they are polite but not gushing; devoted to their friends at heart and in deed; but not too friendly to their enemies or to those they dislike; and they believe in their own purposes as good。 The unhappiest state possible is when one starts to question the sincerity and validity of one's own purposes; from which there results an agonizing paralysis of purpose。 The sincere inspire with faith and cooperation; if there is a unity of interest; but it must not be forgotten that others are inspired to hatred and rivalry; if the sincerity is along antagonistic lines。 We are apt to forget that sincerity; like love; faith and hope; is a beautiful word; but the quality of sincerity; like the other qualities; may be linked with misguided purpose。 No one doubts the sincerity of the Moslem hordes of the eighth century in desiring to redeem the world for Mahomet; but we are quite as sincerely glad that sturdy Charles Martel smashed them back from Europe。 Their very sincerity made them the more dangerous。 In estimating any one's sincerity; it is indispensable to inquire with what other qualities is this sincerity linked;to what nouns of activity is it a qualifying adjective? Honesty; truthfulness and sincerity are esteemed because there is in our social structure the great need that men shall trust one another。 The cynic and the worldly wise; and also the experiences of life; teach 〃never trust; always be cautious; never confide in letter or speech;〃 curb the trusting urge in our nature。 The betrayal of trust is the one sin; all other crimes from murder down may find an excuse in passion or weakness; but when the trusting are deceived or injured; the cement substance of our social structure is dissolved and the fabric of our lives threatened。 To trust is to hand over one's destiny to another and is a manifestation of the mutual dependence of man。 It is in part a judgment of character; it is in part an original trait; is an absence of that form of fear called suspicion and on its positive side is a form of courage。 Since it is in part a judgment of character in the most of us; it tends to grow less prominent as we grow older。 The young child is either very trusting or entirely suspicious; and when his suspicions are overcome by acquaintance and simple bribes; he yields his fortunes to any one。 (It is a pleasant fiction that children and dogs know whom to trust; by an intuition。) But as life proceeds; the most of us find that our judgment of character is poor; and we hesitate to pin anything momentous on it。 Only where passion blinds us; as in sex love; or when our self…love and lust for quick gain'1' or hate has been aroused do we lose the caution that is the antithesis of trust。 The expert in human relations is he who can overcome distrust; the genius in human relations is he who inspires trust。 For the psychopathologist an enormous interest centers in a group of people whom we may call paranoic。 In his mildest form the paranoic is that very common 〃misunderstood〃 person who distrusts the attitude and actions of his neighbors; who believes himself to be injured purposely by every unintentional slight; or rather who finds insult and injury where others see only forgetfulness or inattention。 Of an inordinate and growing ego; the paranoic of a pathological trend develops the idea or delusion of persecution。 From the feeling that everything and every one is against him; he builds up; when some major purpose becomes balked; a specific belief that

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