albert savarus-第17章
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partners； who combined to cheat and fleece meme； though
everything was done by my energymade me give up the pursuit of a
fortune after the loss of three years of my life。 One of these
years was spent in the law courts； and perhaps I should have come
worse out of the scrape if I had not been made to study law when I
was twenty。
〃I made up my mind to go into politics solely； to the end that I
may some day find my name on a list for promotion to the Senate
under the title of Comte Albert Savaron de Savarus； and so revive
in France a good name now extinct in Belgiumthough indeed I am
neither legitimate nor legitimized。〃
〃Ah！ I knew it！ He is of noble birth！〃 exclaimed Rosalie； dropping the
letter。
〃You know how conscientiously I studied； how faithful and useful I
was as an obscure journalist； and how excellent a secretary to the
statesman who； on his part； was true to me in 1829。 Flung to the
depths once more by the revolution of July just when my name was
becoming known； at the very moment when； as Master of Appeals； I
was about to find my place as a necessary wheel in the political
machine； I committed the blunder of remaining faithful to the
fallen； and fighting for them； without them。 Oh！ why was I but
three…and…thirty； and why did I not apply to you to make me
eligible？ I concealed from you all my devotedness and my dangers。
What would you have？ I was full of faith。 We should not have
agreed。
〃Ten months ago； when you saw me so gay and contented； writing my
political articles； I was in despair； I foresaw my fate； at the
age of thirty…seven； with two thousand francs for my whole
fortune； without the smallest fame； just having failed in a noble
undertaking； the founding； namely； of a daily paper answering only
to a need of the future instead of appealing to the passions of
the moment。 I did not know which way to turn； and I felt my own
value！ I wandered about； gloomy and hurt； through the lonely
places of ParisParis which had slipped through my fingers
thinking of my crushed ambitions； but never giving them up。 Oh；
what frantic letters I wrote at that time to /her/； my second
conscience； my other self！ Sometimes I would say to myself； 'Why
did I sketch so vast a programme of life？ Why demand everything？
Why not wait for happiness while devoting myself to some
mechanical employment。'
〃I then looked about me for some modest appointment by which I
might live。 I was about to get the editorship of a paper under a
manager who did not know much about it； a man of wealth and
ambition； when I took fright。 'Would /she/ ever accept as her
husband a man who had stooped so low？' I wondered。
〃This reflection made me two…and…twenty again。 But； oh； my dear
Leopold； how the soul is worn by these perplexities！ What must not
the caged eagles suffer； and imprisoned lions！They suffer what
Napoleon suffered； not at Saint Helena； but on the Quay of the
Tuileries； on the 10th of August； when he saw Louis XVI。 defending
himself so badly while he could have quelled the insurrection； as
he actually did； on the same spot； a little later； in Vendemiaire。
Well； my life has been a torment of that kind； extending over four
years。 How many a speech to the Chamber have I not delivered in
the deserted alleys of the Bois de Boulogne！ These wasted
harangues have at any rate sharpened my tongue and accustomed my
mind to formulate its ideas in words。 And while I was undergoing
this secret torture； you were getting married； you had paid for
your business； you were made law…clerk to the Maire of your
district； after gaining a cross for a wound at Saint…Merri。
〃Now； listen。 When I was a small boy and tortured cock…chafers；
the poor insects had one form of struggle which used almost to put
me in a fever。 It was when I saw them making repeated efforts to
fly but without getting away； though they could spread their
wings。 We used to say； 'They are marking time。' Now was this
sympathy？ Was it a vision of my own future？Oh！ to spread my
wings and yet be unable to fly！ That has been my predicament since
that fine undertaking by which I was disgusted； but which has now
made four families rich。
〃At last； seven months ago； I determined to make myself a name at
the Paris Bar； seeing how many vacancies had been left by the
promotion of several lawyers to eminent positions。 But when I
remembered the rivalry I had seen among men of the press； and how
difficult it is to achieve anything of any kind in Paris； the
arena where so many champions meet； I came to a determination
painful to myself； but certain in its results； and perhaps quicker
than any other。 In the course of our conversations you had given
me a picture of the society of Besancon； of the impossibility for
a stranger to get on there； to produce the smallest effect； to get
into society； or to succeed in any way whatever。 It was there that
I determined to set up my flag； thinking； and rightly； that I
should meet with no opposition； but find myself alone to canvass
for the election。 The people of the Comte will not meet the
outsider？ The outsider will meet them！ They refuse to admit him to
their drawing…rooms； he will never go there！ He never shows
himself anywhere； not even in the streets！ But there is one class
that elects the deputiesthe commercial class。 I am going
especially to study commercial questions； with which I am already
familiar； I will gain their lawsuits； I will effect compromises； I
will be the greatest pleader in Besancon。 By and by I will start a
/Review/； in which I will defend the interests of the country；
will create them； or preserve them； or resuscitate them。 When I
shall have won a sufficient number of votes； my name will come out
of the urn。 For a long time the unknown barrister will be treated
with contempt； but some circumstance will arise to bring him to
the frontsome unpaid defence； or a case which no other pleader
will undertake。
〃Well； my dear Leopold； I packed up my books in eleven cases； I
bought such law…books as might prove useful； and I sent everything
off； furniture and all； by carrier to Besancon。 I collected my
diplomas； and I went to bid you good…bye。 The mail coach dropped
me at Besancon； where； in three days' time； I chose a little set
of rooms looking out over some gardens。 I sumptuously arranged the
mysterious private room where I spend my nights and days； and
where the portrait of my divinity reignsof her to whom my life
is dedicate； who fills it wholly； who is the mainspring of my
efforts； the secret of my courage； the cause of my talents。 Then；
as soon as the furniture and books had come； I engaged an
intelligent man…servant； and there I sat for five months like a
hibernating marmot。
〃My name had； however； been entered on the list of lawyers in the
town。 At last I was called one day to defend an unhappy wretch at
the Assizes； no doubt in order to hear me speak for once！ One of
the most influential merchants of Besancon was on the jury； he had
a difficult task to fulfil； I did my utmost for the man； and my
success was absolute and complete。 My client was innocent； I very
dramatically secured the arrest of the real criminals； who had
come forward as witnesses。 In short； the Court and the public were
united in their admiration。 I managed to save the examining
magistrate's pride by pointing out the impossibility of detecting
a plot so skilfully planned。
〃Then I had to fight a case for my merchant； and won his suit。 The
Cathedral Chapter next chose me to defend a tremendous action
against the town； which had been going on for four years； I won
that。 Thus； after three trials； I had become the most famous
advocate of Franche…Comte。
〃But I bury my life in the deepest mystery； and so hide my aims。 I
have adopted habits which prevent my accepting any invitations。 I
am only to be consulted between six and eight in the morning； I go
to bed after my dinner； and work at night。 The Vicar…General； a
