vanity fair(名利场)-第7章

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while　in　London；　but　had　lodgings　of　his　own；　like
a　gay　young　bachelor。　　Before　he　went　to　India　he　was
too　young　to　partake　of　the　delightful　pleasures　of　a
man　about　town；　and　plunged　into　them　on　his　return
with　considerable　assiduity。　　He　drove　his　horses　in　the
Park；　he　dined　at　the　fashionable　taverns　（for　the
Oriental　Club　was　not　as　yet　invented）；　he　frequented
the　theatres；　as　the　mode　was　in　those　days；　or　made
his　appearance　at　the　opera；　laboriously　attired　in　tights
and　a　cocked　hat。
On　returning　to　India；　and　ever　after；　he　used　to　talk
of　the　pleasure　of　this　period　of　his　existence　with　great
enthusiasm；　and　give　you　to　understand　that　he　and
Brummel　were　the　leading　bucks　of　the　day。　　But　he　was
as　lonely　here　as　in　his　jungle　at　Boggley　Wollah。　　He
scarcely　knew　a　single　soul　in　the　metropolis：　and　were
it　not　for　his　doctor；　and　the　society　of　his　blue…pill；
and　his　liver　complaint；　he　must　have　died　of　loneliness。
He　was　lazy；　peevish；　and　a　bon…vivan；　the　appearance
of　a　lady　frightened　him　beyond　measure；　hence　it　was
but　seldom　that　he　joined　the　paternal　circle　in　Russell
Square；　where　there　was　plenty　of　gaiety；　and　where　the
jokes　of　his　good…natured　old　father　frightened　his
amour…propre。　　His　bulk　caused　Joseph　much　anxious
thought　and　alarm；　now　and　then　he　would　make　a
desperate　attempt　to　get　rid　of　his　superabundant　fat；
but　his　indolence　and　love　of　good　living　speedily　got
the　better　of　these　endeavours　at　reform；　and　he　found
himself　again　at　his　three　meals　a　day。　　He　never　was
well　dressed；　but　he　took　the　hugest　pains　to　adorn　his
big　person；　and　passed　many　hours　daily　in　that　occupation。
His　valet　made　a　fortune　out　of　his　wardrobe：　his
toilet…table　was　covered　with　as　many　pomatums　and
essences　as　ever　were　employed　by　an　old　beauty：　he　had
tried；　in　order　to　give　himself　a　waist；　every　girth；　stay；
and　waistband　then　invented。　　Like　most　fat　men；　he
would　have　his　clothes　made　too　tight；　and　took　care
they　should　be　of　the　most　brilliant　colours　and　youthful
cut。　　When　dressed　at　length；　in　the　afternoon；　he　would
issue　forth　to　take　a　drive　with　nobody　in　the　Park；
and　then　would　come　back　in　order　to　dress　again　and
go　and　dine　with　nobody　at　the　Piazza　Coffee…House。
He　was　as　vain　as　a　girl；　and　perhaps　his　extreme
shyness　was　one　of　the　results　of　his　extreme　vanity。　　If
Miss　Rebecca　can　get　the　better　of　him；　and　at　her　first
entrance　into　life；　she　is　a　young　person　of　no　ordinary
cleverness。
The　first　move　showed　considerable　skill。　　When　she
called　Sedley　a　very　handsome　man；　she　knew　that
Amelia　would　tell　her　mother；　who　would　probably　tell
Joseph；　or　who；　at　any　rate；　would　be　pleased　by　the
compliment　paid　to　her　son。　　All　mothers　are。　　If　you
had　told　Sycorax　that　her　son　Caliban　was　as　handsome
as　Apollo；　she　would　have　been　pleased；　witch　as　she
was。　　Perhaps；　too；　Joseph　Sedley　would　overhear　the
complimentRebecca　spoke　loud　enoughand　he　did
hear；　and　（thinking　in　his　heart　that　he　was　a　very　fine
man）　the　praise　thrilled　through　every　fibre　of　his　big
body；　and　made　it　tingle　with　pleasure。　　Then；　however；
came　a　recoil。　　〃Is　the　girl　making　fun　of　me？〃　he　thought；
and　straightway　he　bounced　towards　the　bell；　and　was
for　retreating；　as　we　have　seen；　when　his　father's　jokes
and　his　mother's　entreaties　caused　him　to　pause　and
stay　where　he　was。　　He　conducted　the　young　lady　down
to　dinner　in　a　dubious　and　agitated　frame　of　mind。
〃Does　she　really　think　I　am　handsome？〃　thought　he；
〃or　is　she　only　making　game　of　me？〃　We　have　talked
of　Joseph　Sedley　being　as　vain　as　a　girl。　　Heaven　help
us！　the　girls　have　only　to　turn　the　tables；　and　say
of　one　of　their　own　sex；　〃She　is　as　vain　as　a　man；〃
and　they　will　have　perfect　reason。　　The　bearded　creatures
are　quite　as　eager　for　praise；　quite　as　finikin　over　their
toilettes；　quite　as　proud　of　their　personal　advantages；
quite　as　conscious　of　their　powers　of　fascination；　as
any　coquette　in　the　world。
Downstairs；　then；　they　went；　Joseph　very　red　and
blushing；　Rebecca　very　modest；　and　holding　her　green
eyes　downwards。　　She　was　dressed　in　white；　with　bare
shoulders　as　white　as　snowthe　picture　of　youth；
unprotected　innocence；　and　humble　virgin　simplicity。
〃I　must　be　very　quiet；〃　thought　Rebecca；　〃and　very　much
interested　about　India。〃
Now　we　have　heard　how　Mrs。　Sedley　had　prepared　a
fine　curry　for　her　son；　just　as　he　liked　it；　and　in　the
course　of　dinner　a　portion　of　this　dish　was　offered　to
Rebecca。　　〃What　is　it？〃　said　she；　turning　an　appealing
look　to　Mr。　Joseph。
〃Capital；〃　said　he。　　His　mouth　was　full　of　it：　his　face
quite　red　with　the　delightful　exercise　of　gobbling。　
〃Mother；　it's　as　good　as　my　own　curries　in　India。〃
〃Oh；　I　must　try　some；　if　it　is　an　Indian　dish；〃　said
Miss　Rebecca。　　〃I　am　sure　everything　must　be　good　that
comes　from　there。〃
〃Give　Miss　Sharp　some　curry；　my　dear；〃　said　Mr。
Sedley；　laughing。
Rebecca　had　never　tasted　the　dish　before。
〃Do　you　find　it　as　good　as　everything　else　from　India？〃
said　Mr。　Sedley。
〃Oh；　excellent！〃　said　Rebecca；　who　was　suffering
tortures　with　the　cayenne　pepper。
〃Try　a　chili　with　it；　Miss　Sharp；〃　said　Joseph；　really
interested。
〃A　chili；〃　said　Rebecca；　gasping。　　〃Oh　yes！〃　　She　thought
a　chili　was　something　cool；　as　its　name　imported；
and　was　served　with　some。　　〃How　fresh　and　green　they
look；〃　she　said；　and　put　one　into　her　mouth。　　It　was
hotter　than　the　curry；　flesh　and　blood　could　bear　it　no
longer。　　She　laid　down　her　fork。　　〃Water；　for　Heaven's
sake；　water！〃　she　cried。　　Mr。　Sedley　burst　out　laughing
（he　was　a　coarse　man；　from　the　Stock　Exchange；　where
they　love　all　sorts　of　practical　jokes）。　　〃They　are　real
Indian；　I　assure　you；〃　said　he。　　〃Sambo；　give　Miss　Sharp
some　water。〃
The　paternal　laugh　was　echoed　by　Joseph；　who　thought
the　joke　capital。　　The　ladies　only　smiled　a　little。　　They
thought　poor　Rebecca　suffered　too　much。　　She　would　have
liked　to　choke　old　Sedley；　but　she　swallowed　her
mortification　as　well　as　she　had　the　abominable　curry
before　it；　and　as　soon　as　she　could　speak；　said；　with　a　comical；
good…humoured　air；　〃I　ought　to　have　remembered　the
pepper　which　the　Princess　of　Persia　puts　in　the　cream…
tarts　in　the　Arabian　Nights。　　Do　you　put　cayenne　into
your　cream…tarts　in　India；　sir？〃
Old　Sedley　began　to　laugh；　and　thought　Rebecca
was　a　good…humoured　girl。　　Joseph　simply　said；　〃Cream…
tarts；　Miss？　Our　cream　is　very　bad　in　Bengal。　　We
generally　use　goats'　milk；　and；　'gad；　do　you　know；　I've　got
to　prefer　it！〃
〃You　won't　like　EVERYTHING　from　India　now；　Miss
Sharp；〃　said　the　old　gentleman；　but　when　the　ladies　had
retired　after　dinner；　the　wily　old　fellow　said　to　his　son；
〃Have　a　care；　Joe；　that　girl　is　setting　her　cap　at　you。〃
〃Pooh！　nonsense！〃　said　Joe；　highly　flattered。　　〃I　recollect；
sir；　there　was　a　girl　at　Dumdum；　a　daughter　of
Cutler　of　the　Artillery；　and　afterwards　married　to　Lance；
the　surgeon；　who　made　a　dead　set　at　me　in　the　year
'4at　me　and　Mulligatawney；　whom　I　mentioned　to　you
before　dinnera　devilish　good　fellow　Mulligatawney
he's　a　magistrate　at　Budgebudge；　and　sure　to　be　in
council　in　five　years。　　Well；　sir；　the　Artillery　gave　a　ball；
and　Quintin；　of　the　King's　14th；　said　to　me；　'Sedley；'　said
he；　'I　bet　you　thirteen　to　ten　that　Sophy　Cutler　hooks
either　you　or　Mulligatawney　before　the　rains。'　'Done；'
says　I；　and　egad；　sirthis　claret's　very　good。　　Adamson's
or　Carbonell's？〃
A　slight　snore　was　the　only　reply：　the　honest　stockbroker
was　asleep；　and　so　the　rest　of　Joseph's　story　was　lost
for　that　day。　　But　he　was　always　exceedingly
communicative　in　a　man's　party；　and　has　told　this
delightful　tale　many　scores　of　times　to　his　apothecary；
Dr。　Gollop；　when　he　came　to　inquire　about　the　liver　and
the　blue…pill。
Being　an　invalid；　Joseph　Sedley　contented　himself　with
a　bottle　of　claret　besides　his　Madeira　at　dinner；　and
he　managed　a　couple　of　plates　full　of　strawberries　and
cream；　and　twenty…four　little　rout　cakes　that　were　lying
neglected　in　a　plate　near　him；　and　certainly　（for
novelists　have　the　privilege　of　knowing　everything）
he　thought　a　great　deal　about　the　girl　upstairs。　　〃A　nice；
gay；　merry　young　creature；〃　thought　he　to　himself。