vanity fair(名利场)-第197章

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theatre　excellent；　and　the　living　cheap。
〃And　our　Minister　seems　a　most　delightful　and　affable
person；〃　our　new　friend　said。　　'~With　such　a　representative；
andand　a　good　medical　man；　I　can　fancy　the　place　to
be　most　eligible。　　Good…night；　gentlemen。〃　And　Jos
creaked　up　the　stairs　to　bedward；　followed　by　Kirsch　with
a　flambeau。　　We　rather　hoped　that　nice…looking　woman
would　be　induced　to　stay　some　time　in　the　town。

CHAPTER　LXIII
In　Which　We　Meet　an　Old　Acquaintance
Such　polite　behaviour　as　that　of　Lord　Tapeworm　did
not　fail　to　have　the　most　favourable　effect　upon　Mr。
Sedley's　mind；　and　the　very　next　morning；　at　breakfast；　he
pronounced　his　opinion　that　Pumpernickel　was　the
pleasantest　little　place　of　any　which　he　had　visited　on　their
tour。　　Jos's　motives　and　artifices　were　not　very　difficult
of　comprehension；　and　Dobbin　laughed　in　his　sleeve；　like
a　hypocrite　as　he　was；　when　he　found；　by　the　knowing　air
of　the　civilian　and　the　offhand　manner　in　which　the
latter　talked　about　Tapeworm　Castle　and　the　other　members
of　the　family；　that　Jos　had　been　up　already　in　the　morning；
consulting　his　travelling　Peerage。　　Yes；　he　had　seen
the　Right　Honourable　the　Earl　of　Bagwig；　his　lordship's
father；　he　was　sure　he　had；　he　had　met　him　atat　the
Leveedidn't　Dob　remember？　and　when　the　Diplomatist
called　on　the　party；　faithful　to　his　promise；　Jos　received
him　with　such　a　salute　and　honours　as　were　seldom
accorded　to　the　little　Envoy。　　He　winked　at　Kirsch　on　his
Excellency's　arrival；　and　that　emissary；　instructed　before…
hand；　went　out　and　superintended　an　entertainment　of
cold　meats；　jellies；　and　other　delicacies；　brought　in　upon
trays；　and　of　which　Mr。　Jos　absolutely　insisted　that　his
noble　guest　should　partake。
Tapeworm；　so　long　as　he　could　have　an　opportunity　of
admiring　the　bright　eyes　of　Mrs。　Osborne　（whose　freshness
of　complexion　bore　daylight　remarkably　well）　was
not　ill　pleased　to　accept　any　invitation　to　stay　in　Mr。
Sedley's　lodgings；　he　put　one　or　two　dexterous　questions
to　him　about　India　and　the　dancing…girls　there；　asked
Amelia　about　that　beautiful　boy　who　had　been　with　her；
and　complimented　the　astonished　little　woman　upon　the
prodigious　sensation　which　she　had　made　in　the　house；
and　tried　to　fascinate　Dobbin　by　talking　of　the　late　war
and　the　exploits　of　the　Pumpernickel　contingent　under　the
command　of　the　Hereditary　Prince；　now　Duke　of
Pumpernickel。
Lord　Tapeworm　inherited　no　little　portion　of　the　family
gallantry；　and　it　was　his　happy　belief　that　almost　every
woman　upon　whom　he　himself　cast　friendly　eyes　was　in
love　with　him。　　He　left　Emmy　under　the　persuasion　that
she　was　slain　by　his　wit　and　attractions　and　went　home　to
his　lodgings　to　write　a　pretty　little　note　to　her。　　She　was
not　fascinated；　only　puzzled；　by　his　grinning；　his　simpering；
his　scented　cambric　handkerchief；　and　his　high…heeled
lacquered　boots。　　She　did　not　understand　one…half　the
compliments　which　he　paid；　she　had　never；　in　her　small
experience　of　mankind；　met　a　professional　ladies'　man　as
yet；　and　looked　upon　my　lord　as　something　curious　rather
than　pleasant；　and　if　she　did　not　admire；　certainly
wondered　at　him。　　Jos；　on　the　contrary；　was　delighted。　　〃How
very　affable　his　Lordship　is；〃　he　said；　〃How　very　kind　of
his　Lordship　to　say　he　would　send　his　medical　man！
Kirsch；　you　will　carry　our　cards　to　the　Count　de
Schlusselback　directly；　the　Major　and　I　will　have　the
greatest　pleasure　in　paying　our　respects　at　Court　as　soon
as　possible。　　Put　out　my　uniform；　Kirschboth　our
uniforms。　　It　is　a　mark　of　politeness　which　every　English
gentleman　ought　to　show　to　the　countries　which　he　visits
to　pay　his　respects　to　the　sovereigns　of　those　countries
as　to　the　representatives　of　his　own。〃
When　Tapeworm's　doctor　came；　Doctor　von　Glauber；
Body　Physician　to　H。S。H。　　the　Duke；　he　speedily
convinced　Jos　that　the　Pumpernickel　mineral　springs　and
the　Doctor's　particular　treatment　would　infallibly　restore
the　Bengalee　to　youth　and　slimness。　　〃Dere　came　here　last
year；〃　he　said；　〃Sheneral　Bulkeley；　an　English　Sheneral；
tvice　so　pic　as　you；　sir。　　I　sent　him　back　qvite　tin　after
tree　months；　and　he　danced　vid　Baroness　Glauber　at
the　end　of　two。〃
Jos's　mind　was　made　up；　the　springs；　the　Doctor；　the
Court；　and　the　Charge　d'Affaires　convinced　him；　and　he
proposed　to　spend　the　autumn　in　these　delightful
quarters。　　And　punctual　to　his　word；　on　the　next　day　the
Charge　d'Affaires　presented　Jos　and　the　Major　to　Victor
Aurelius　XVII；　being　conducted　to　their　audience　with
that　sovereign　by　the　Count　de　Schlusselback；　Marshal
of　the　Court。
They　were　straightway　invited　to　dinner　at　Court；　and
their　intention　of　staying　in　the　town　being　announced；
the　politest　ladies　of　the　whole　town　instantly　called　upon
Mrs。　Osborne；　and　as　not　one　of　these；　however　poor
they　might　be；　was　under　the　rank　of　a　Baroness；　Jos's
delight　was　beyond　expression。　　He　wrote　off　to　Chutney
at　the　Club　to　say　that　the　Service　was　highly　appreciated
in　Germany；　that　he　was　going　to　show　his　friend；　the
Count　de　Schlusselback；　how　to　stick　a　pig　in　the　Indian
fashion；　and　that　his　august　friends；　the　Duke　and
Duchess；　were　everything　that　was　kind　and　civil。
Emmy；　too；　was　presented　to　the　august　family；　and　as
mourning　is　not　admitted　in　Court　on　certain　days；　she
appeared　in　a　pink　crape　dress　with　a　diamond　ornament
in　the　corsage；　presented　to　her　by　her　brother；　and
she　looked　so　pretty　in　this　costume　that　the　Duke　and
Court　（putting　out　of　the　question　the　Major；　who　had
scarcely　ever　seen　her　before　in　an　evening　dress；　and
vowed　that　she　did　not　look　five…and…twenty）　all　admired
her　excessively。
In　this　dress　she　walked　a　Polonaise　with　Major　Dobbin
at　a　Court　ball；　in　which　easy　dance　Mr。　Jos　had　the
honour　of　leading　out　the　Countess　of　Schlusselback；
an　old　lady　with　a　hump　back；　but　with　sixteen　good
quarters　of　nobility　and　related　to　half　the　royal　houses
of　Germany。
Pumpernickel　stands　in　the　midst　of　a　happy　valley
through　which　sparklesto　mingle　with　the　Rhine
somewhere；　but　I　have　not　the　map　at　hand　to　say　exactly　at
what　pointthe　fertilizing　stream　of　the　Pump。　　In　some
places　the　river　is　big　enough　to　support　a　ferry…boat；　in
others　to　turn　a　mill；　in　Pumpernickel　itself；　the　last
Transparency　but　three；　the　great　and　renowned　Victor
Aurelius　XIV　built　a　magnificent　bridge；　on　which　his
own　statue　rises；　surrounded　by　water…nymphs　and
emblems　of　victory；　peace；　and　plenty；　he　has　his　foot　on　the
neck　of　a　prostrate　Turkhistory　says　he　engaged　and
ran　a　Janissary　through　the　body　at　the　relief　of　Vienna
by　Sobieskibut；　quite　undisturbed　by　the　agonies
of　that　prostrate　Mahometan；　who　writhes　at　his　feet　in
the　most　ghastly　manner；　the　Prince　smiles　blandly　and
points　with　his　truncheon　in　the　direction　of　the　Aurelius
Platz；　where　he　began　to　erect　a　new　palace　that　would
have　been　the　wonder　of　his　age　had　the　great…souled
Prince　but　had　funds　to　complete　it。　　But　the　completion
of　Monplaisir　（Monblaisir　the　honest　German　folks　call
it）　was　stopped　for　lack　of　ready　money；　and　it　and　its
park　and　garden　are　now　in　rather　a　faded　condition；
and　not　more　than　ten　times　big　enough　to　accommodate
the　Court　of　the　reigning　Sovereign。
The　gardens　were　arranged　to　emulate　those　of
Versailles；　and　amidst　the　terraces　and　groves　there　are
some　huge　allegorical　waterworks　still；　which　spout　and
froth　stupendously　upon　fete…days；　and　frighten　one
with　their　enormous　aquatic　insurrections。　　There　is　the
Trophonius'　cave　in　which；　by　some　artifice；　the　leaden
Tritons　are　made　not　only　to　spout　water；　but　to　play
the　most　dreadful　groans　out　of　their　lead　conchsthere
is　the　nymphbath　and　the　Niagara　cataract；　which　the
people　of　the　neighbourhood　admire　beyond　expression；
when　they　come　to　the　yearly　fair　at　the　opening　of　the
Chamber；　or　to　the　fetes　with　which　the　happy　little　nation
still　celebrates　the　birthdays　and　marriage…days　of　its
princely　governors。
Then　from　all　the　towns　of　the　Duchy；　which　stretches
for　nearly　ten　milefrom　Bolkum；　which　lies　on
its　western　frontier　bidding　defiance　to　Prussia；　from
Grogwitz；　where　the　Prince　has　a　hunting…lodge；　and
where