vanity fair(名利场)-第187章

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mutton　of　her　locataires。　　Most　of　them　scolded　and
grumbled；　some　of　them　did　not　pay；　none　of　them　stayed。
The　landlady　might　well　regret　those　old；　old　friends；　who
had　left　her。
As　for　Miss　Mary；　her　sorrow　at　Amelia's　departure
was　such　as　I　shall　not　attempt　to　depict。　　From　childhood
upwards　she　had　been　with　her　daily　and　had　attached
herself　so　passionately　to　that　dear　good　lady　that　when
the　grand　barouche　came　to　carry　her　off　into　splendour；
she　fainted　in　the　arms　of　her　friend；　who　was　indeed
scarcely　less　affected　than　the　good…natured　girl。　　Amelia
loved　her　like　a　daughter。　　During　eleven　years　the　girl　had
been　her　constant　friend　and　associate。　　The　separation　was
a　very　painful　one　indeed　to　her。　　But　it　was　of　course
arranged　that　Mary　was　to　come　and　stay　often　at　the
grand　new　house　whither　Mrs。　Osborne　was　going；　and
where　Mary　was　sure　she　would　never　be　so　happy　as
she　had　been　in　their　humble　cot；　as　Miss　Clapp　called　it；
in　the　language　of　the　novels　which　she　loved。
Let　us　hope　she　was　wrong　in　her　judgement。　　Poor
Emmy's　days　of　happiness　had　been　very　few　in　that
humble　cot。　　A　gloomy　Fate　had　oppressed　her　there。　　She
never　liked　to　come　back　to　the　house　after　she　had　left
it；　or　to　face　the　landlady　who　had　tyrannized　over　her
when　ill…humoured　and　unpaid；　or　when　pleased　had
treated　her　with　a　coarse　familiarity　scarcely　less　odious。
Her　servility　and　fulsome　compliments　when　Emmy　was
in　prosperity　were　not　more　to　that　lady's　liking。　　She
cast　about　notes　of　admiration　all　over　the　new　house；
extolling　every　article　of　furniture　or　ornament；　she
fingered　Mrs。　Osborne's　dresses　and　calculated　their　price。
Nothing　could　be　too　good　for　that　sweet　lady；　she
vowed　and　protested。　　But　in　the　vulgar　sycophant　who
now　paid　court　to　her；　Emmy　always　remembered　the
coarse　tyrant　who　had　made　her　miserable　many　a　time；
to　whom　she　had　been　forced　to　put　up　petitions　for
time；　when　the　rent　was　overdue；　who　cried　out　at　her
extravagance　if　she　bought　delicacies　for　her　ailing　mother
or　father；　who　had　seen　her　humble　and　trampled　upon
her。
Nobody　ever　heard　of　these　griefs；　which　had　been
part　of　our　poor　little　woman's　lot　in　life。　　She　kept　them
secret　from　her　father；　whose　improvidence　was　the　cause
of　much　of　her　misery。　　She　had　to　bear　all　the　blame　of
his　misdoings；　and　indeed　was　so　utterly　gentle　and
humble　as　to　be　made　by　nature　for　a　victim。
I　hope　she　is　not　to　suffer　much　more　of　that　hard
usage。　　And；　as　in　all　griefs　there　is　said　to　be　some
consolation；　I　may　mention　that　poor　Mary；　when　left　at　her
friend's　departure　in　a　hysterical　condition；　was　placed
under　the　medical　treatment　of　the　young　fellow　from
the　surgery；　under　whose　care　she　rallied　after　a　short
period。　　Emmy；　when　she　went　away　from　Brompton；
endowed　Mary　with　every　article　of　furniture　that　the　house
contained；　only　taking　away　her　pictures　（the　two
pictures　over　the　bed）　and　her　pianothat　little　old　piano
which　had　now　passed　into　a　plaintive　jingling　old　age；
but　which　she　loved　for　reasons　of　her　own。　　She　was　a
child　when　first　she　played　on　it；　and　her　parents　gave　it
her。　　It　had　been　given　to　her　again　since；　as　the　reader
may　remember；　when　her　father's　house　was　gone　to　ruin
and　the　instrument　was　recovered　out　of　the　wreck。
Major　Dobbin　was　exceedingly　pleased　when；　as　he
was　superintending　the　arrangements　of　Jos's　new　house
which　the　Major　insisted　should　be　very　handsome　and
comfortablethe　cart　arrived　from　Brompton；　bringing
the　trunks　and　bandboxes　of　the　emigrants　from　that
village；　and　with　them　the　old　piano。　　Amelia　would　have　it
up　in　her　sitting…room；　a　neat　little　apartment　on　the
second　floor；　adjoining　her　father's　chamber；　and　where
the　old　gentleman　sat　commonly　of　evenings。
When　the　men　appeared　then　bearing　this　old　music…
box；　and　Amelia　gave　orders　that　it　should　be　placed
in　the　chamber　aforesaid；　Dobbin　was　quite　elated。　　〃I'm
glad　you've　kept　it；〃　he　said　in　a　very　sentimental
manner。　　〃I　was　afraid　you　didn't　care　about　it。〃
〃I　value　it　more　than　anything　I　have　in　the　world；〃
said　Amelia。
〃Do　you；　Amelia？〃　cried　the　Major。　　The　fact　was；
as　he　had　bought　it　himself；　though　he　never　said
anything　about　it；　it　never　entered　into　his　head　to　suppose
that　Emmy　should　think　anybody　else　was　the　purchaser；
and　as　a　matter　of　course　he　fancied　that　she　knew　the
gift　came　from　him。　　〃Do　you；　Amelia？〃　he　said；　and
the　question；　the　great　question　of　all；　was　trembling
on　his　lips；　when　Emmy　replied
〃Can　I　do　otherwise？did　not　he　give　it　me？〃
〃I　did　not　know；〃　said　poor　old　Dob；　and　his
countenance　fell。
Emmy　did　not　note　the　circumstance　at　the　time；　nor
take　immediate　heed　of　the　very　dismal　expression　which
honest　Dobbin's　countenance　assumed；　but　she　thought
of　it　afterwards。　　And　then　it　struck　her；　with　inexpressible
pain　and　mortification　too；　that　it　was　William　who
was　the　giver　of　the　piano；　and　not　George；　as　she　had
fancied。　　It　was　not　George's　gift；　the　only　one　which　she
had　received　from　her　lover；　as　she　thoughtthe　thing
she　had　cherished　beyond　all　othersher　dearest　relic
and　prize。　　She　had　spoken　to　it　about　George；　played
his　favourite　airs　upon　it；　sat　for　long　evening　hours；
touching；　to　the　best　of　her　simple　art；　melancholy
harmonies　on　the　keys；　and　weeping　over　them　in　silence。
It　was　not　George's　relic。　　It　was　valueless　now。　　The　next
time　that　old　Sedley　asked　her　to　play；　she　said　it　was
shockingly　out　of　tune；　that　she　had　a　headache；　that
she　couldn't　play。
Then；　according　to　her　custom；　she　rebuked　herself
for　her　pettishness　and　ingratitude　and　determined　to
make　a　reparation　to　honest　William　for　the　slight　she
had　not　expressed　to　him；　but　had　felt　for　his　piano。
A　few　days　afterwards；　as　they　were　seated　in　the
drawing…room；　where　Jos　had　fallen　asleep　with　great　comfort
after　dinner；　Amelia　said　with　rather　a　faltering　voice
to　Major　Dobbin
〃I　have　to　beg　your　pardon　for　something。〃
〃About　what？〃　said　he。
〃Aboutabout　that　little　square　piano。　　I　never　thanked
you　for　it　when　you　gave　it　me；　many；　many　years　ago；
before　I　was　married。　　I　thought　somebody　else　had　given
it。　　Thank　you；　William。〃　She　held　out　her　hand；　but　the
poor　little　woman's　heart　was　bleeding；　and　as　for　her
eyes；　of　course　they　were　at　their　work。
But　William　could　hold　no　more。　　〃Amelia；　Amelia；〃
he　said；　〃I　did　buy　it　for　you。　　I　loved　you　then　as　I
do　now。　　I　must　tell　you。　　I　think　I　loved　you　from　the
first　minute　that　I　saw　you；　when　George　brought　me　to
your　house；　to　show　me　the　Amelia　whom　he　was
engaged　to。　　You　were　but　a　girl；　in　white；　with　large
ringlets；　you　came　down　singingdo　you　remember？
and　we　went　to　Vauxhall。　　Since　then　I　have　thought　of
but　one　woman　in　the　world；　and　that　was　you。　　I
think　there　is　no　hour　in　the　day　has　passed　for　twelve
years　that　I　haven't　thought　of　you。　　I　came　to　tell　you
this　before　I　went　to　India；　but　you　did　not　care；　and
I　hadn't　the　heart　to　speak。　　You　did　not　care　whether
I　stayed　or　went。〃
〃I　was　very　ungrateful；〃　Amelia　said。
〃No；　only　indifferent；〃　Dobbin　continued　desperately。
〃I　have　nothing　to　make　a　woman　to　be　otherwise。　　I
know　what　you　are　feeling　now。　　You　are　hurt　in　your
heart　at　the　discovery　about　the　piano；　and　that　it　came
from　me　and　not　from　George。　　I　forgot；　or　I　should
never　have　spoken　of　it　so。　　It　is　for　me　to　ask　your
pardon　for　being　a　fool　for　a　moment；　and　thinking
that　years　of　constancy　and　devotion　might　have　pleaded
with　you。〃
〃It　is　you　who　are　cruel　now；〃　Amelia　said　with　some
spirit。　　〃George　is　my　husband；　here　and　in　heaven。　　How
could　I　love　any　other　but　him？　I　am　his　now　as　when
you　first　saw　me；　dear　William。　　It　was　he　who　told　me
how　good　and　generous　you　were；　and　who　taught　me
to　love　you　as　a　brother。　　Have　you　not　been　everything
to　me　and　my　boy？　Our　dearest；　truest；　kindest　friend
and　protector？　Had　you　come　a　few　months　sooner
perhaps　you　might　have　spared　me　thatthat　dreadful
parting。　　Oh；　it　nearly　killed　me；　Williambut　you　didn't
come；　though　I　wished　and　prayed　for　you　to　come；
and　they　took　him　too　away　from　me。　　Isn't　he　a　n