vanity fair(名利场)-第112章

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not　speculate　much　upon　the　mingled　nature　of　his　feelings；
and　how　his　instinct　and　selfishness　were　combating
together。　　He　firmly　believed　that　everything　he　did　was
right；　that　he　ought　on　all　occasions　to　have　his　own　way
and　like　the　sting　of　a　wasp　or　serpent　his　hatred
rushed　out　armed　and　poisonous　against　anything　like
opposition。　　He　was　proud　of　his　hatred　as　of　everything
else。　　Always　to　be　right；　always　to　trample　forward；　and
never　to　doubt；　are　not　these　the　great　qualities　with
which　dullness　takes　the　lead　in　the　world？
As　after　the　drive　to　Waterloo；　Mr。　Osborne's　carriage
was　nearing　the　gates　of　the　city　at　sunset；　they　met
another　open　barouche；　in　which　were　a　couple　of　ladies
and　a　gentleman；　and　by　the　side　of　which　an　officer　was
riding。　　Osborne　gave　a　start　back；　and　the　Sergeant；
seated　with　him；　cast　a　look　of　surprise　at　his　neighbour；
as　he　touched　his　cap　to　the　officer；　who　mechanically
returned　his　salute。　　It　was　Amelia；　with　the　lame　young
Ensign　by　her　side；　and　opposite　to　her　her　faithful
friend　Mrs。　O'Dowd。　　It　was　Amelia；　but　how　changed
from　the　fresh　and　comely　girl　Osborne　knew。　　Her　face
was　white　and　thin。　　Her　pretty　brown　hair　was　parted
under　a　widow's　capthe　poor　child。　　Her　eyes　were
fixed；　and　looking　nowhere。　　They　stared　blank　in　the
face　of　Osborne；　as　the　carriages　crossed　each　other；　but
she　did　not　know　him；　nor　did　he　recognise　her；　until
looking　up；　he　saw　Dobbin　riding　by　her：　　and　then　he
knew　who　it　was。　　He　hated　her。　　He　did　not　know　how
much　until　he　saw　her　there。　　When　her　carriage　had
passed　on；　he　turned　and　stared　at　the　Sergeant；　with　a
curse　and　defiance　in　his　eye　cast　at　his　companion；　who
could　not　help　looking　at　himas　much　as　to　say　〃How
dare　you　look　at　me？　Damn　you！　　I　do　hate　her。　　It　is　she
who　has　tumbled　my　hopes　and　all　my　pride　down。〃
〃Tell　the　scoundrel　to　drive　on　quick；〃　he　shouted　with
an　oath；　to　the　lackey　on　the　box。　　A　minute　afterwards；　a
horse　came　clattering　over　the　pavement　behind
Osborne's　carriage；　and　Dobbin　rode　up。　　His　thoughts
had　been　elsewhere　as　the　carriages　passed　each　other；
and　it　was　not　until　he　had　ridden　some　paces　forward；
that　he　remembered　it　was　Osborne　who　had　just　passed
him。　　Then　he　turned　to　examine　if　the　sight　of　her　father…
in…law　had　made　any　impression　on　Amelia；　but　the　poor
girl　did　not　know　who　had　passed。　　Then　William；　who
daily　used　to　accompany　her　in　his　drives；　taking　out　his
watch；　made　some　excuse　about　an　engagement　which　he
suddenly　recollected；　and　so　rode　off。　　She　did　not
remark　that　either：　　but　sate　looking　before　her；　over　the
homely　landscape　towards　the　woods　in　the　distance；　by
which　George　marched　away。
Mr。　Osborne；　Mr。　Osborne！〃　cried　Dobbin；　as　he　rode
up　and　held　out　his　hand。　　Osborne　made　no　motion　to
take　it；　but　shouted　out　once　more　and　with　another　curse
to　his　servant　to　drive　on。
Dobbin　laid　his　hand　on　the　carriage　side。　　〃I　will　see
you；　sir；〃　he　said。　　〃I　have　a　message　for　you。〃
〃From　that　woman？〃　said　Osborne；　fiercely。
〃No；〃　replied　the　other；　〃from　your　son〃；　at　which
Osborne　fell　back　into　the　corner　of　his　carriage；　and
Dobbin　allowing　it　to　pass　on；　rode　close　behind　it；　and
so　through　the　town　until　they　reached　Mr。　Osborne's
hotel；　and　without　a　word。　　There　he　followed　Osborne
up　to　his　apartments。　　George　had　often　been　in　the
rooms；　they　were　the　lodgings　which　the　Crawleys　had
occupied　during　their　stay　in　Brussels。
〃Pray；　have　you　any　commands　for　me；　Captain
Dobbin；　or；　I　beg　your　pardon；　I　should　say　MAJOR　Dobbin；
since　better　men　than　you　are　dead；　and　you　step　into
their　SHOES？〃　said　Mr。　Osborne；　in　that　sarcastic　tone
which　he　sometimes　was　pleased　to　assume。
〃Better　men　ARE　dead；〃　Dobbin　replied。　　〃I　want　to
speak　to　you　about　one。〃
〃Make　it　short；　sir；〃　said　the　other　with　an　oath；
scowling　at　his　visitor。
〃I　am　here　as　his　closest　friend；〃　the　Major　resumed；
〃and　the　executor　of　his　will。　　He　made　it　before　he　went
into　action。　　Are　you　aware　how　small　his　means　are；
and　of　the　straitened　circumstances　of　his　widow？〃
〃I　don't　know　his　widow；　sir；〃　Osborne　said。　　〃Let　her
go　back　to　her　father。〃　But　the　gentleman　whom　he
addressed　was　determined　to　remain　in　good　temper；　and
went　on　without　heeding　the　interruption。
〃Do　you　know；　sir；　Mrs。　Osborne's　condition？　Her　life
and　her　reason　almost　have　been　shaken　by　the　blow
which　has　fallen　on　her。　　It　is　very　doubtful　whether　she
will　rally。　　There　is　a　chance　left　for　her；　however；　and　it
is　about　this　I　came　to　speak　to　you。　　She　will　be　a　mother
soon。　　Will　you　visit　the　parent's　offence　upon　the　child's
head？　or　will　you　forgive　the　child　for　poor　George's
sake？〃
Osborne　broke　out　into　a　rhapsody　of　self…praise　and
imprecations；by　the　first；　excusing　himself　to　his　own
conscience　for　his　conduct；　by　the　second；　exaggerating
the　undutifulness　of　George。　　No　father　in　all　England
could　have　behaved　more　generously　to　a　son；　who　had
rebelled　against　him　wickedly。　　He　had　died　without　even
so　much　as　confessing　he　was　wrong。　　Let　him　take
the　consequences　of　his　undutifulness　and　folly。　　As　for
himself；　Mr。　Osborne；　he　was　a　man　of　his　word。　　He
had　sworn　never　to　speak　to　that　woman；　or　to　recognize
her　as　his　son's　wife。　　〃And　that's　what　you　may　tell
her；〃　he　concluded　with　an　oath；　〃and　that's　what　I　will
stick　to　to　the　last　day　of　my　life。〃
There　was　no　hope　from　that　quarter　then。　　The　widow
must　live　on　her　slender　pittance；　or　on　such　aid　as　Jos
could　give　her。　　〃I　might　tell　her；　and　she　would　not　heed
it；〃　thought　Dobbin；　sadly：　　for　the　poor　girl's　thoughts
were　not　here　at　all　since　her　catastrophe；　and；　stupefied
under　the　pressure　of　her　sorrow；　good　and　evil　were
alike　indifferent　to　her。
So；　indeed；　were　even　friendship　and　kindness。　　She
received　them　both　uncomplainingly；　and　having　accepted
them；　relapsed　into　her　grief。
Suppose　some　twelve　months　after　the　above　conversation
took　place　to　have　passed　in　the　life　of　our　poor
Amelia。　　She　has　spent　the　first　portion　of　that　time　in　a
sorrow　so　profound　and　pitiable；　that　we　who　have　been
watching　and　describing　some　of　the　emotions　of　that
weak　and　tender　heart；　must　draw　back　in　the　presence
of　the　cruel　grief　under　which　it　is　bleeding。　　Tread　silently
round　the　hapless　couch　of　the　poor　prostrate　soul。
Shut　gently　the　door　of　the　dark　chamber　wherein　she
suffers；　as　those　kind　people　did　who　nursed　her　through
the　first　months　of　her　pain；　and　never　left　her　until
heaven　had　sent　her　consolation。　　A　day　cameof
almost　terrified　delight　and　wonderwhen　the　poor
widowed　girl　pressed　a　child　upon　her　breasta　child；　with
the　eyes　of　George　who　was　gonea　little　boy；　as　beautiful
as　a　cherub。　　What　a　miracle　it　was　to　hear　its　first
cry！　　How　she　laughed　and　wept　over　ithow　love；　and
hope；　and　prayer　woke　again　in　her　bosom　as　the　baby
nestled　there。　　She　was　safe。　　The　doctors　who　attended
her；　and　had　feared　for　her　life　or　for　her　brain；　had
waited　anxiously　for　this　crisis　before　they　could
pronounce　that　either　was　secure。　　It　was　worth　the　long
months　of　doubt　and　dread　which　the　persons　who　had
constantly　been　with　her　had　passed；　to　see　her　eyes　once
more　beaming　tenderly　upon　them。
Our　friend　Dobbin　was　one　of　them。　　It　was　he　who
brought　her　back　to　England　and　to　her　mother's　house；
when　Mrs。　O'Dowd；　receiving　a　peremptory　summons
from　her　Colonel；　had　been　forced　to　quit　her　patient。
To　see　Dobbin　holding　the　infant；　and　to　hear　Amelia's
laugh　of　triumph　as　she　watched　him；　would　have　done
any　man　good　who　had　a　sense　of　humour。　　William　was
the　godfather　of　the　child；　and　exerted　his　ingenuity　in
the　purchase　of　cups；　spoons；　pap…boats；　and　corals　for
this　little　Christian。
How　his　mother　nursed　him；　and　dressed　him；　and
lived　upon　him；　how　she　drove　away　all　nurses；　and
would　scarce　allow　any　hand　but　her　own　to　touch　him；
how　she　considered　that　the　greatest　favour　she　could
confer　upon　his　godfather；　Major　Dobbin；　was　to　allow
the　Major　occasionally　to　dandle　him；　need　not　be　told
here。　　This　child　was　her　being。　　Her　existence　was　a
maternal　caress。　　She　enveloped　the