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第5章

01-the kreutzer sonata-第5章

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when we enter a parlor or a ball…room; washed; shaven; and

perfumed; with very white linen; in dress coats or in uniform; as

emblems of purity; oh; the disgust!  There will surely come a

time; an epoch; when all these lives and all this cowardice will

be unveiled!



〃So; nevertheless; I lived; until the age of thirty; without

abandoning for a minute my intention of marrying; and building an

elevated conjugal life; and with this in view I watched all young

girls who might suit me。  I was buried in rottenness; and at the

same time I looked for virgins; whose purity was worthy of me! 

Many of them were rejected: they did not seem to me pure enough!



〃Finally I found one that I considered on a level with myself。 

She was one of two daughters of a landed proprietor of Penza;

formerly very rich and since ruined。  To tell the truth; without

false modesty; they pursued me and finally captured me。  The

mother (the father was away) laid all sorts of traps; and one of

these; a trip in a boat; decided my future。



〃I made up my mind at the end of the aforesaid trip one night; by

moonlight; on our way home; while I was sitting beside her。  I

admired her slender body; whose charming shape was moulded by a

jersey; and her curling hair; and I suddenly concluded that THIS

WAS SHE。  It seemed to me on that beautiful evening that she

understood all that I thought and felt; and I thought and felt

the most elevating things。



〃Really; it was only the jersey that was so becoming to her; and

her curly hair; and also the fact that I had spent the day beside

her; and that I desired a more intimate relation。



〃I returned home enthusiastic; and I persuaded myself that she

realized the highest perfection; and that for that reason she was

worthy to be my wife; and the next day I made to her a proposal

of marriage。



〃No; say what you will; we live in such an abyss of falsehood;

that; unless some event strikes us a blow on the head; as in my

case; we cannot awaken。  What confusion!  Out of the thousands of

men who marry; not only among us; but also among the people;

scarcely will you find a single one who has not previously

married at least ten times。  (It is true that there now exist; at

least so I have heard; pure young people who feel and know that

this is not a joke; but a serious matter。  May God come to their

aid!  But in my time there was not to be found one such in a

thousand。)



〃And all know it; and pretend not to know it。  In all the novels

are described down to the smallest details the feelings of the

characters; the lakes and brambles around which they walk; but;

when it comes to describing their GREAT love; not a word is

breathed of what HE; the interesting character; has previously

done; not a word about his frequenting of disreputable houses; or

his association with nursery…maids; cooks; and the wives of

others。



〃And if anything is said of these things; such IMPROPER novels

are not allowed in the hands of young girls。  All men have the

air of believing; in presence of maidens; that these corrupt

pleasures; in which EVERYBODY takes part; do not exist; or exist

only to a very small extent。  They pretend it so carefully that

they succeed in convincing themselves of it。  As for the poor

young girls; they believe it quite seriously; just as my poor

wife believed it。



〃I remember that; being already engaged; I showed her my

'memoirs;' from which she could learn more or less of my past;

and especially my last liaison which she might perhaps have

discovered through the gossip of some third party。  It was for

this last reason; for that matter; that I felt the necessity of

communicating these memoirs to her。  I can still see her fright;

her despair; her bewilderment; when she had learned and

understood it。  She was on the point of breaking the engagement。 

What a lucky thing it would have been for both of us!〃



Posdnicheff was silent for a moment; and then resumed:



〃After all; no!  It is better that things happened as they did;

better!〃 he cried。  〃It was a good thing for me。  Besides; it

makes no difference。  I was saying that in these cases it is the

poor young girls who are deceived。  As for the mothers; the

mothers especially; informed by their husbands; they know all;

and; while pretending to believe in the purity of the young man;

they act as if they did not believe in it。



〃They know what bait must be held out to people for themselves

and their daughters。  We men sin through ignorance; and a

determination not to learn。  As for the women; they know very

well that the noblest and most poetic love; as we call it;

depends; not on moral qualities; but on the physical intimacy;

and also on the manner of doing the hair; and the color and

shape。



〃Ask an experienced coquette; who has undertaken to seduce a man;

which she would prefer;to be convicted; in presence of the man

whom she is engaged in conquering; of falsehood; perversity;

cruelty; or to appear before him in an ill…fitting dress; or a

dress of an unbecoming color。  She will prefer the first

alternative。  She knows very well that we simply lie when we talk

of our elevated sentiments; that we seek only the possession of

her body; and that because of that we will forgive her every sort

of baseness; but will not forgive her a costume of an ugly shade;

without taste or fit。



〃And these things she knows by reason; where as the maiden knows

them only by instinct; like the animal。  Hence these abominable

jerseys; these artificial humps on the back; these bare

shoulders; arms; and throats。



〃Women; especially those who have passed through the school of

marriage; know very well that conversations upon elevated

subjects are only conversations; and that man seeks and desires

the body and all that ornaments the body。 Consequently; they act

accordingly?  If we reject conventional explanations; and view

the life of our upper and lower classes as it is; with all its

shamelessness; it is only a vast perversity。  You do not share

this opinion?  Permit me; I am going to prove it to you (said he;

interrupting me)。



〃You say that the women of our society live for a different

interest from that which actuates fallen women。  And I say no;

and I am going to prove it to you。  If beings differ from one

another according to the purpose of their life; according to

their INNER LIFE; this will necessarily be reflected also in

their OUTER LIFE; and their exterior will be very different。 

Well; then; compare the wretched; the despised; with the women of

the highest society: the same dresses; the same fashions; the

same perfumeries; the same passion for jewelry; for brilliant and

very expensive articles; the same amusements; dances; music; and

songs。  The former attract by all possible means; so do the

latter。  No difference; none whatever!



〃Yes; and I; too; was captivated by jerseys; bustles; and curly

hair。



  

CHAPTER VII。



〃And it was very easy to capture me; since I was brought up

under artificial conditions; like cucumbers in a hothouse。  Our

too abundant nourishment; together with complete physical

idleness; is nothing but systematic excitement of the

imagination。  The men of our society are fed and kept like

reproductive stallions。  It is sufficient to close the

valve;that is; for a young man to live a quiet life for some

time;to produce as an immediate result a restlessness; which;

becoming exaggerated by reflection through the prism of our

unnatural life; provokes the illusion of love。



〃All our idyls and marriage; all; are the result for the most

part of our eating。  Does that astonish you?  For my part; I am

astonished that we do not see it。  Not far from my estate this

spring some moujiks were working on a railway embankment。  You

know what a peasant's food is;bread; kvass;* onions。  With this

frugal nourishment he lives; he is alert; he makes light work in

th

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