01-the kreutzer sonata-第3章

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And　it　cannot　be　otherwise；　just　as　it　cannot　happen　that；　in　a

load　of　chick…peas；　two　peas　marked　with　a　special　sign　should

fall　side　by　side。　　Further；　this　is　not　only　an　improbability；

but　it　is　certain　that　a　feeling　of　satiety　will　come　to　Helen　or

to　Menelaus。　　The　whole　difference　is　that　to　one　it　comes

sooner；　to　the　other　later。　　It　is　only　in　stupid　novels　that　it

is　written　that　'they　loved　each　other　all　their　lives。'　　And

none　but　children　can　believe　it。　　To　talk　of　loving　a　man　or

woman　for　life　is　like　saying　that　a　candle　can　burn

forever。〃



〃But　you　are　talking　of　physical　love。　　Do　you　not　admit　a　love

based　upon　a　conformity　of　ideals；　on　a　spiritual　affinity？〃



〃Why　not？　　But　in　that　case　it　is　not　necessary　to　procreate

together　（excuse　my　brutality）。　　The　point　is　that　this

conformity　of　ideals　is　not　met　among　old　people；　but　among　young

and　pretty　persons；〃　said　he；　and　he　began　to　laugh　disagreeably。



〃Yes；　I　affirm　that　love；　real　love；　does　not　consecrate

marriage；　as　we　are　in　the　habit　of　believing；　but　that；　on　the

contrary；　it　ruins　it。〃



〃Permit　me；〃　said　the　lawyer。　　〃The　facts　contradict　your　words。　

We　see　that　marriage　exists；　that　all　humanityat　least　the

larger　portionlives　conjugally；　and　that　many　husbands　and

wives　honestly　end　a　long　life　together。〃



The　nervous　gentleman　smiled　ill…naturedly。



〃And　what　then？　　You　say　that　marriage　is　based　upon　love；　and

when　I　give　voice　to　a　doubt　as　to　the　existence　of　any　other

love　than　sensual　love；　you　prove　to　me　the　existence　of　love　by

marriage。　　But　in　our　day　marriage　is　only　a　violence　and

falsehood。〃



〃No；　pardon　me；〃　said　the　lawyer。　　〃I　say　only　that　marriages

have　existed　and　do　exist。〃



〃But　how　and　why　do　they　exist？　　They　have　existed；　and　they　do

exist；　for　people　who　have　seen；　and　do　see；　in　marriage

something　sacramental；　a　sacrament　that　is　binding　before　God。

For　such　people　marriages　exist；　but　to　us　they　are　only

hypocrisy　and　violence。　　We　feel　it；　and；　to　clear　ourselves；　we

preach　free　love；　but；　really；　to　preach　free　love　is　only　a　call

backward　to　the　promiscuity　of　the　sexes　（excuse　me；　he　said　to

the　lady）；　the　haphazard　sin　of　certain　raskolniks。　　The　old

foundation　is　shattered；　we　must　build　a　new　one；　but　we　must　not

preach　debauchery。〃



He　grew　so　warm　that　all　became　silent；　looking　at　him　in

astonishment。



〃And　yet　the　transition　state　is　terrible。　　People　feel　that

haphazard　sin　is　inadmissible。　　It　is　necessary　in　some　way　or

other　to　regulate　the　sexual　relations；　but　there　exists　no　other

foundation　than　the　old　one；　in　which　nobody　longer　believes？　

People　marry　in　the　old　fashion；　without　believing　in　what　they

do；　and　the　result　is　falsehood；　violence。　　When　it　is　falsehood

alone；　it　is　easily　endured。　　The　husband　and　wife　simply　deceive

the　world　by　professing　to　live　monogamically。　　If　they　really

are　polygamous　and　polyandrous；　it　is　bad；　but　acceptable。　　But

when；　as　often　happens；　the　husband　and　the　wife　have　taken　upon

themselves　the　obligation　to　live　together　all　their　lives　（they

themselves　do　not　know　why）；　and　from　the　second　month　have

already　a　desire　to　separate；　but　continue　to　live　together　just

the　same；　then　comes　that　infernal　existence　in　which　they　resort

to　drink；　in　which　they　fire　revolvers；　in　which　they　assassinate

each　other；　in　which　they　poison　each　other。〃



All　were　silent；　but　we　felt　ill　at　ease。



〃Yes；　these　critical　episodes　happen　in　marital　life。　　For

instance；　there　is　the　Posdnicheff　affair；〃　said　the　lawyer；

wishing　to　stop　the　conversation　on　this　embarrassing　and　too

exciting　ground。　　〃Have　you　read　how　he　killed　his　wife　through

jealousy？〃



The　lady　said　that　she　had　not　read　it。　　The　nervous　gentleman

said　nothing；　and　changed　color。



〃I　see　that　you　have　divined　who　I　am；〃　said　he；　suddenly；　after

a　pause。



〃No；　I　have　not　had　that　pleasure。〃



〃It　is　no　great　pleasure。　　I　am　Posdnicheff。〃



New　silence。　　He　blushed；　then　turned　pale　again。



〃What　matters　it；　however？〃　said　he。　　〃Excuse　me；　I　do　not　wish

to　embarrass　you。〃



And　he　resumed　his　old　seat。



　

CHAPTER　III。



I　resumed　mine；　also。　　The　lawyer　and　the　lady　whispered

together。　　I　was　sitting　beside　Posdnicheff；　and　I　maintained

silence。　　I　desired　to　talk　to　him；　but　I　did　not　know　how　to

begin；　and　thus　an　hour　passed　until　we　reached　the　next　station。



There　the　lawyer　and　the　lady　went　out；　as　well　as　the　clerk。　　We

were　left　alone；　Posdnicheff　and　I。



〃They　say　it；　and　they　lie；　or　they　do　not　understand；〃　said

Posdnicheff。



〃Of　what　are　you　talking？〃



〃Why；　still　the　same　thing。〃



He　leaned　his　elbows　upon　his　knees；　and　pressed　his　hands

against　his　temples。



〃Love；　marriage；　family；all　lies；　lies；　lies。〃



He　rose；　lowered　the　lamp…shade；　lay　down　with　his　elbows　on　the

cushion；　and　closed　his　eyes。　　He　remained　thus　for　a　minute。



〃Is　it　disagreeable　to　you　to　remain　with　me；　now　that　you　know

who　I　am？〃



〃Oh；　no。〃



〃You　have　no　desire　to　sleep？〃



〃Not　at　all。〃



〃Then　do　you　want　me　to　tell　you　the　story　of　my　life？〃



Just　then　the　conductor　passed。　　He　followed　him　with　an

ill…natured　look；　and　did　not　begin　until　he　had　gone　again。　

Then　during　all　the　rest　of　the　story　he　did　not　stop　once。　　Even

the　new　travellers　as　they　entered　did　not　stop　him。



His　face；　while　he　was　talking；　changed　several　times　so

completely　that　it　bore　positively　no　resemblance　to　itself　as　it

had　appeared　just　before。　　His　eyes；　his　mouth；　his　moustache；

and　even　his　beard；　all　were　new。　　Each　time　it　was　a　beautiful

and　touching　physiognomy；　and　these　transformations　were　produced

suddenly　in　the　penumbra；　and　for　five　minutes　it　was　the　same

face；　that　could　not　be　compared　to　that　of　five　minutes　before。　

And　then；　I　know　not　how；　it　changed　again；　and　became

unrecognizable。



　　

CHAPTER　IV。



〃Well；　I　am　going　then　to　tell　you　my　life；　and　my　whole

frightful　history；yes；　frightful。　　And　the　story　itself　is　more

frightful　than　the　outcome。〃



He　became　silent　for　a　moment；　passed　his　hands　over　his　eyes；

and　began：



〃To　be　understood　clearly；　the　whole　must　be　told　from　the

beginning。　　It　must　be　told　how　and　why　I　married；　and　what　I　was

before　my　marriage。　　First；　I　will　tell　you　who　I　am。　　The　son　of

a　rich　gentleman　of　the　steppes；　an　old　marshal　of　the　nobility；

I　was　a　University　pupil；　a　graduate　of　the　law　school。　　I

married　in　my　thirtieth　year。　　But　before　talking　to　you　of　my

marriage；　I　must　tell　you　how　I　lived　formerly；　and　what　ideas　I

had　of　conjugal　life。　　I　led　the　life　of　so　many　other　so…called

respectable　people；that　is；　in　debauchery。　　And　like　the

majority；　while　leading　the　life　of　a　debauche；　I　was　convinced

that　I　was　a　man　of　irreproachable　morality。



〃The　idea　that　I　had　of　my　morality　arose　from　the　fact　that　in

my　family　there　was　no　knowledge　of　those　special　debaucheries；

so　common　in　the　surroundings　of　land…owners；　and　also　from　the

fact　that　my　father　and　my　mother　did　not　deceive　each　other。　　In

consequence　of　this；　I　had　built　from　childhood　a　dream　of　high

and　poetical　conjugal　life。　　My　wife　was　to　be　perfection　itself；

our　mutual　love　was　to　be　incomparable；　the　purity　of　our

conjugal　life　stainless。　　I　thought　thus；　and　all　the　time　I

marvelled　at　the　nobility　of　my　projects。



〃At　the　same　time；　I　passed　ten　years　of　my　adult　life　without

hurrying　toward　marriage；　and　I　led　what　I　called　the

well…regulated　and　reasonable　life　of　a　bachelor。　　I　was　proud　of

it　before　my　friends；　and　before　all　men　of　my　age　who　abandoned

themselves　to　all　sorts　of　special　refinements。　　I　was　not　a

seducer；　I　had　no　unnatural　tastes；　I　did　not　make　debauchery　the

principal　object　of　my　life；　but　I　found　pleasure　within　the

limits　of　society's　ru