01-the kreutzer sonata-第13章
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had the belief that 'God has given; God has taken away;' that the
soul of the little angel is going to heaven; and that it is
better to die innocent than to die in sin。 If the women of
to…day had something like this faith; they could endure more
peacefully the sickness of their children。 But of all that there
does not remain even a trace。 And yet it is necessary to believe
in something; consequently they stupidly believe in medicine; and
not even in medicine; but in the doctor。 One believes in X;
another in Z; and; like all believers; they do not see the idiocy
of their beliefs。 They believe quia absurdum; because; in
reality; if they did not believe in a stupid way; they would see
the vanity of all that these brigands prescribe for them。
Scarlatina is a contagious disease; so; when one lives in a large
city; half the family has to move away from its residence (we did
it twice); and yet every man in the city is a centre through
which pass innumerable diameters; carrying threads of all sorts
of contagions。 There is no obstacle: the baker; the tailor; the
coachman; the laundresses。
〃And I would undertake; for every man who moves on account of
contagion; to find in his new dwelling…place another contagion
similar; if not the same。
〃But that is not all。 Every one knows rich people who; after a
case of diphtheria; destroy everything in their residences; and
then fall sick in houses newly built and furnished。 Every one
knows; likewise; numbers of men who come in contact with sick
people and do not get infected。 Our anxieties are due to the
people who circulate tall stories。 One woman says that she has
an excellent doctor。 'Pardon me;' answers the other; 'he killed
such a one;' or such a one。 And vice versa。 Bring her another;
who knows no more; who learned from the same books; who treats
according to the same formulas; but who goes about in a carriage;
and asks a hundred roubles a visit; and she will have faith in
him。
〃It all lies in the fact that our women are savages。 They have
no belief in God; but some of them believe in the evil eye; and
the others in doctors who charge high fees。 If they had faith
they would know that scarlatina; diphtheria; etc。; are not so
terrible; since they cannot disturb that which man can and should
love;the soul。 There can result from them only that which none
of us can avoid;disease and death。 Without faith in God; they
love only physically; and all their energy is concentrated upon
the preservation of life; which cannot be preserved; and which
the doctors promise the fools of both sexes to save。 And from
that time there is nothing to be done; the doctors must be
summoned。
〃Thus the presence of the children not only did not improve our
relations as husband and wife; but; on the contrary; disunited
us。 The children became an additional cause of dispute; and the
larger they grew; the more they became an instrument of struggle。
One would have said that we used them as weapons with which to
combat each other。 Each of us had his favorite。 I made use of
little Basile (the eldest); she of Lise。 Further; when the
children reached an age where their characters began to be
defined; they became allies; which we drew each in his or her own
direction。 They suffered horribly from this; the poor things;
but we; in our perpetual hubbub; were not clear…headed enough to
think of them。 The little girl was devoted to me; but the eldest
boy; who resembled my wife; his favorite; often inspired me with
dislike。
CHAPTER XVII。
〃We lived at first in the country; then in the city; and; if the
final misfortune had not happened; I should have lived thus until
my old age and should then have believed that I had had a good
life;not too good; but; on the other hand; not bad;an
existence such as other people lead。 I should not have
understood the abyss of misfortune and ignoble falsehood in which
I floundered about; feeling that something was not right。 I
felt; in the first place; that I; a man; who; according to my
ideas; ought to be the master; wore the petticoats; and that I
could not get rid of them。 The principal cause of my subjection
was the children。 I should have liked to free myself; but I
could not。 Bringing up the children; and resting upon them; my
wife ruled。 I did not then realize that she could not help
ruling; especially because; in marrying; she was morally superior
to me; as every young girl is incomparably superior to the man;
since she is incomparably purer。 Strange thing! The ordinary
wife in our society is a very commonplace person or worse;
selfish; gossiping; whimsical; whereas the ordinary young girl;
until the age of twenty; is a charming being; ready for
everything that is beautiful and lofty。 Why is this so?
Evidently because husbands pervert them; and lower them to their
own level。
〃In truth; if boys and girls are born equal; the little girls
find themselves in a better situation。 In the first place; the
young girl is not subjected to the perverting conditions to which
we are subjected。 She has neither cigarettes; nor wine; nor
cards; nor comrades; nor public houses; nor public functions。
And then the chief thing is that she is physically pure; and that
is why; in marrying; she is superior to her husband。 She is
superior to man as a young girl; and when she becomes a wife in
our society; where there is no need to work in order to live; she
becomes superior; also; by the gravity of the acts of generation;
birth; and nursing。
〃Woman; in bringing a child into the world; and giving it her
bosom; sees clearly that her affair is more serious than the
affair of man; who sits in the Zemstvo; in the court。 She knows
that in these functions the main thing is money; and money can be
made in different ways; and for that very reason money is not
inevitably necessary; like nursing a child。 Consequently woman
is necessarily superior to man; and must rule。 But man; in our
society; not only does not recognize this; but; on the contrary;
always looks upon her from the height of his grandeur; despising
what she does。
〃Thus my wife despised me for my work at the Zemstvo; because she
gave birth to children and nursed them。 I; in turn; thought that
woman's labor was most contemptible; which one might and should
laugh at。
〃Apart from the other motives; we were also separated by a mutual
contempt。 Our relations grew ever more hostile; and we arrived
at that period when; not only did dissent provoke hostility; but
hostility provoked dissent。 Whatever she might say; I was sure
in advance to hold a contrary opinion; and she the same。 Toward
the fourth year of our marriage it was tacitly decided between us
that no intellectual community was possible; and we made no
further attempts at it。 As to the simplest objects; we each held
obstinately to our own opinions。 With strangers we talked upon
the most varied and most intimate matters; but not with each
other。 Sometimes; in listening to my wife talk with others in my
presence; I said to myself: 'What a woman! Everything that she
says is a lie!' And I was astonished that the person with whom
she was conversing did not see that she was lying。 When we were
together; we were condemned to silence; or to conversations
which; I am sure; might have been carried on by animals。
〃'What time is it? It is bed…time。 What is there for dinner
to…day? Where shall we go? What is there in the newspaper? The
doctor must be sent for; Lise has a sore throat。'
〃Unless we kept within the extremely narrow limits of such
conversation; irritation was sure to ensue。 The presence of a
third person relieved us; for through an intermediary we could
still communicate。 She probably believed that she was always
right。 As for me; in my own eyes; I was a saint beside her。
〃The periods of what we call love arrived as often as f