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第13章

01-the kreutzer sonata-第13章

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had the belief that 'God has given; God has taken away;' that the

soul of the little angel is going to heaven; and that it is

better to die innocent than to die in sin。  If the women of

to…day had something like this faith; they could endure more

peacefully the sickness of their children。  But of all that there

does not remain even a trace。  And yet it is necessary to believe

in something; consequently they stupidly believe in medicine; and

not even in medicine; but in the doctor。  One believes in X;

another in Z; and; like all believers; they do not see the idiocy

of their beliefs。  They believe quia absurdum; because; in

reality; if they did not believe in a stupid way; they would see

the vanity of all that these brigands prescribe for them。

Scarlatina is a contagious disease; so; when one lives in a large

city; half the family has to move away from its residence (we did

it twice); and yet every man in the city is a centre through

which pass innumerable diameters; carrying threads of all sorts

of contagions。  There is no obstacle: the baker; the tailor; the

coachman; the laundresses。



〃And I would undertake; for every man who moves on account of

contagion; to find in his new dwelling…place another contagion

similar; if not the same。



〃But that is not all。  Every one knows rich people who; after a

case of diphtheria; destroy everything in their residences; and

then fall sick in houses newly built and furnished。  Every one

knows; likewise; numbers of men who come in contact with sick

people and do not get infected。 Our anxieties are due to the

people who circulate tall stories。  One woman says that she has

an excellent doctor。  'Pardon me;' answers the other; 'he killed

such a one;' or such a one。 And vice versa。  Bring her another;

who knows no more; who learned from the same books; who treats

according to the same formulas; but who goes about in a carriage;

and asks a hundred roubles a visit; and she will have faith in

him。



〃It all lies in the fact that our women are savages。  They have

no belief in God; but some of them believe in the evil eye; and

the others in doctors who charge high fees。  If they had faith

they would know that scarlatina; diphtheria; etc。; are not so

terrible; since they cannot disturb that which man can and should

love;the soul。 There can result from them only that which none

of us can avoid;disease and death。  Without faith in God; they

love only physically; and all their energy is concentrated upon

the preservation of life; which cannot be preserved; and which

the doctors promise the fools of both sexes to save。  And from

that time there is nothing to be done; the doctors must be

summoned。



〃Thus the presence of the children not only did not improve our

relations as husband and wife; but; on the contrary; disunited

us。  The children became an additional cause of dispute; and the

larger they grew; the more they became an instrument of struggle。



One would have said that we used them as weapons with which to

combat each other。  Each of us had his favorite。  I made use of

little Basile (the eldest); she of Lise。  Further; when the

children reached an age where their characters began to be

defined; they became allies; which we drew each in his or her own

direction。  They suffered horribly from this; the poor things;

but we; in our perpetual hubbub; were not clear…headed enough to

think of them。  The little girl was devoted to me; but the eldest

boy; who resembled my wife; his favorite; often inspired me with

dislike。



  

CHAPTER XVII。



〃We lived at first in the country; then in the city; and; if the

final misfortune had not happened; I should have lived thus until

my old age and should then have believed that I had had a good

life;not too good; but; on the other hand; not bad;an

existence such as other people lead。  I should not have

understood the abyss of misfortune and ignoble falsehood in which

I floundered about; feeling that something was not right。  I

felt; in the first place; that I; a man; who; according to my

ideas; ought to be the master; wore the petticoats; and that I

could not get rid of them。  The principal cause of my subjection

was the children。  I should have liked to free myself; but I

could not。  Bringing up the children; and resting upon them; my

wife ruled。  I did not then realize that she could not help

ruling; especially because; in marrying; she was morally superior

to me; as every young girl is incomparably superior to the man;

since she is incomparably purer。  Strange thing!  The ordinary

wife in our society is a very commonplace person or worse;

selfish; gossiping; whimsical; whereas the ordinary young girl;

until the age of twenty; is a charming being; ready for

everything that is beautiful and lofty。  Why is this so? 

Evidently because husbands pervert them; and lower them to their

own level。



〃In truth; if boys and girls are born equal; the little girls

find themselves in a better situation。  In the first place; the

young girl is not subjected to the perverting conditions to which

we are subjected。  She has neither cigarettes; nor wine; nor

cards; nor comrades; nor public houses; nor public functions。 

And then the chief thing is that she is physically pure; and that

is why; in marrying; she is superior to her husband。  She is

superior to man as a young girl; and when she becomes a wife in

our society; where there is no need to work in order to live; she

becomes superior; also; by the gravity of the acts of generation;

birth; and nursing。



〃Woman; in bringing a child into the world; and giving it her

bosom; sees clearly that her affair is more serious than the

affair of man; who sits in the Zemstvo; in the court。  She knows

that in these functions the main thing is money; and money can be

made in different ways; and for that very reason money is not

inevitably necessary; like nursing a child。  Consequently woman

is necessarily superior to man; and must rule。  But man; in our

society; not only does not recognize this; but; on the contrary;

always looks upon her from the height of his grandeur; despising

what she does。



〃Thus my wife despised me for my work at the Zemstvo; because she

gave birth to children and nursed them。  I; in turn; thought that

woman's labor was most contemptible; which one might and should

laugh at。



〃Apart from the other motives; we were also separated by a mutual

contempt。  Our relations grew ever more hostile; and we arrived

at that period when; not only did dissent provoke hostility; but

hostility provoked dissent。  Whatever she might say; I was sure

in advance to hold a contrary opinion; and she the same。  Toward

the fourth year of our marriage it was tacitly decided between us

that no intellectual community was possible; and we made no

further attempts at it。  As to the simplest objects; we each held

obstinately to our own opinions。  With strangers we talked upon

the most varied and most intimate matters; but not with each

other。  Sometimes; in listening to my wife talk with others in my

presence; I said to myself: 'What a woman! Everything that she

says is a lie!'  And I was astonished that the person with whom

she was conversing did not see that she was lying。  When we were

together; we were condemned to silence; or to conversations

which; I am sure; might have been carried on by animals。



〃'What time is it?  It is bed…time。  What is there for dinner

to…day?  Where shall we go?  What is there in the newspaper?  The

doctor must be sent for; Lise has a sore throat。'



〃Unless we kept within the extremely narrow limits of such

conversation; irritation was sure to ensue。  The presence of a

third person relieved us; for through an intermediary we could

still communicate。  She probably believed that she was always

right。  As for me; in my own eyes; I was a saint beside her。



〃The periods of what we call love arrived as often as f

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