01-the kreutzer sonata-第12章

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interminable　suffering；　torture。　　Women　say　it；　they　think　it；

and　they　feel　it　too。　　Children　to　them　are　really　a　torture；　not

because　they　do　not　wish　to　give　birth　to　them；　nurse　them；　and

care　for　them　（women　with　a　strong　maternal　instinctand　such

was　my　wifeare　ready　to　do　that）；　but　because　the　children　may

fall　sick　and　die。　　They　do　not　wish　to　give　birth　to　them；　and

then　not　love　them；　and　when　they　love；　they　do　not　wish　to　feel

fear　for　the　child's　health　and　life。　　That　is　why　they　do　not

wish　to　nurse　them。　　'If　I　nurse　it；'　they　say；　'I　shall　become

too　fond　of　it。'　　One　would　think　that　they　preferred

india…rubber　children；　which　could　neither　be　sick　nor　die；　and

could　always　be　repaired。　　What　an　entanglement　in　the　brains　of

these　poor　women！　　Why　such　abominations　to　avoid　pregnancy；　and

to　avoid　the　love　of　the　little　ones？



〃Love；　the　most　joyous　condition　of　the　soul；　is　represented　as　a

danger。　　And　why？　　Because；　when　a　man　does　not　live　as　a　man；　he

is　worse　than　a　beast。　　A　woman　cannot　look　upon　a　child

otherwise　than　as　a　pleasure。　　It　is　true　that　it　is　painful　to

give　birth　to　it；　but　what　little　hands！　。　。　。　　Oh；　the　little

hands！　　Oh；　the　little　feet！　　Oh；　its　smile！　　Oh；　its　little

body！　Oh；　its　prattle！　　Oh；　its　hiccough！　　In　a　word；　it　is　a

feeling　of　animal；　sensual　maternity。　　But　　as　for　any　idea　as　to

the　mysterious　significance　of　the　appearance　of　a　new　human

being　to　replace　us；　there　is　scarcely　a　sign　of　it。



〃Nothing　of　it　appears　in　all　that　is　said　and　done。　　No　one　has

any　faith　now　in　a　baptism　of　the　child；　and　yet　that　was　nothing

but　a　reminder　of　the　human　significance　of　the　newborn　babe。



〃They　have　rejected　all　that；　but　they　have　not　replaced　it；　and

there　remain　only　the　dresses；　the　laces；　the　little　hands；　the

little　feet；　and　whatever　exists　in　the　animal。　　But　the　animal

has　neither　imagination；　nor　foresight；　nor　reason；　nor　a　doctor。



No！　not　even　a　doctor！　　The　chicken　droops　its　head；　overwhelmed；

or　the　calf　dies；　the　hen　clucks　and　the　cow　lows　for　a　time；　and

then　these　beasts　continue　to　live；　forgetting　what　has　happened。



With　us；　if　the　child　falls　sick；　what　is　to　be　done；　how　to　care

for　it；　what　doctor　to　call；　where　to　go？　　If　it　dies；　there　will

be　no　more　little　hands　or　little　feet；　and　then　what　is　the　use

of　the　sufferings　endured？　　The　cow　does　not　ask　all　that；　and

this　is　why　children　are　a　source　of　misery。　　The　cow　has　no

imagination；　and　for　that　reason　cannot　think　how　it　might　have

saved　the　child　if　it　had　done　this　or　that；　and　its　grief；

founded　in　its　physical　being；　lasts　but　a　very　short　time。　　It

is　only　a　condition；　and　not　that　sorrow　which　becomes

exaggerated　to　the　point　of　despair；　thanks　to　idleness　and

satiety。　　The　cow　has　not　that　reasoning　faculty　which　would

enable　it　to　ask　the　why。　　Why　endure　all　these　tortures？　What

was　the　use　of　so　much　love；　if　the　little　ones　were　to　die？　　The

cow　has　no　logic　which　tells　it　to　have　no　more　children；　and；　if

any　come　accidentally；　to　neither　love　nor　nurse　them；　that　it

may　not　suffer。　　But　our　wives　reason；　and　reason　in　this　way；

and　that　is　why　I　said　that；　when　a　man　does　not　live　as　a　man；

he　is　beneath　the　animal。〃



〃But　then；　how　is　it　necessary　to　act；　in　your　opinion；　in　order

to　treat　children　humanly？〃　I　asked。



〃How？　　Why；　love　them　humanly。〃



〃Well；　do　not　mothers　love　their　children？〃



〃They　do　not　love　them　humanly；　or　very　seldom　do；　and　that　is

why　they　do　not　love　them　even　as　dogs。　　Mark　this；　a　hen；　a

goose；　a　wolf；　will　always　remain　to　woman　inaccessible　ideals　of

animal　love。　　It　is　a　rare　thing　for　a　woman　to　throw　herself；　at

the　peril　of　her　life；　upon　an　elephant　to　snatch　her　child　away；

whereas　a　hen　or　a　sparrow　will　not　fail　to　fly　at　a　dog　and

sacrifice　itself　utterly　for　its　children。　　Observe　this；　also。　

Woman　has　the　power　to　limit　her　physical　love　for　her　children；

which　an　animal　cannot　do。　　Does　that　mean　that；　because　of　this；

woman　is　inferior　to　the　animal？　　No。　　She　is　superior　（and　even

to　say　superior　is　unjust；　she　is　not　superior；　she　is

different）；　but　she　has　other　duties；　human　duties。　　She　can

restrain　herself　in　the　matter　of　animal　love；　and　transfer　her

love　to　the　soul　of　the　child。　　That　is　what　woman's　role　should

be；　and　that　is　precisely　what　we　do　not　see　in　our　society。　We

read　of　the　heroic　acts　of　mothers　who　sacrifice　their　children

in　the　name　of　a　superior　idea；　and　these　things　seem　to　us　like

tales　of　the　ancient　world；　which　do　not　concern　us。　　And　yet　I

believe　that；　if　the　mother　has　not　some　ideal；　in　the　name　of

which　she　can　sacrifice　the　animal　feeling；　and　if　this　force

finds　no　employment；　she　will　transfer　it　to　chimerical　attempts

to　physically　preserve　her　child；　aided　in　this　task　by　the

doctor；　and　she　will　suffer　as　she　does　suffer。



〃So　it　was　with　my　wife。　　Whether　there　was　one　child　or　five；

the　feeling　remained　the　same。　　In　fact；　it　was　a　little　better

when　there　had　been　five。　　Life　was　always　poisoned　with　fear　for

the　children；　not　only　from　their　real　or　imaginary　diseases；　but

even　by　their　simple　presence。　　For　my　part；　at　least；　throughout

my　conjugal　life；　all　my　interests　and　all　my　happiness　depended

upon　the　health　of　my　children；　their　condition；　their　studies。　

Children；　it　is　needless　to　say；　are　a　serious　consideration；　but

all　ought　to　live；　and　in　our　days　parents　can　no　longer　live。　

Regular　life　does　not　exist　for　them。　　The　whole　life　of　the

family　hangs　by　a　hair。　　What　a　terrible　thing　it　is　to　suddenly

receive　the　news　that　little　Basile　is　vomiting；　or　that　Lise　has

a　cramp　in　the　stomach！　　Immediately　you　abandon　everything；　you

forget　everything；　everything　becomes　nothing。　　The　essential

thing　is　the　doctor；　the　enema；　the　temperature。　　You　cannot

begin　a　conversation　but　little　Pierre　comes　running　in　with　an

anxious　air　to　ask　if　he　may　eat　an　apple；　or　what　jacket　he

shall　put　on；　or　else　it　is　the　servant　who　enters　with　a

screaming　baby。



〃Regular；　steady　family　life　does　not　exist。　　Where　you　live；　and

consequently　what　you　do；　depends　upon　the　health　of　the　little

ones；　the　health　of　the　little　ones　depends　upon　nobody；　and；

thanks　to　the　doctors；　who　pretend　to　aid　health；　your　entire

life　is　disturbed。　　It　is　a　perpetual　peril。　　Scarcely　do　we

believe　ourselves　out　of　it　when　a　new　danger　comes：　more

attempts　to　save。　　Always　the　situation　of　sailors　on　a

foundering　vessel。　　Sometimes　it　seemed　to　me　that　this　was　done

on　purpose；　that　my　wife　feigned　anxiety　in　order　to　conquer　me；

since　that　solved　the　question　so　simply　for　her　benefit。　　It

seemed　to　me　that　all　that　she　did　at　those　times　was　done　for

its　effect　upon　me；　but　now　I　see　that　she　herself；　my　wife；

suffered　and　was　tortured　on　account　of　the　little　ones；　their

health；　and　their　diseases。



〃A　torture　to　both　of　us；　but　to　her　the　children　were　also　a

means　of　forgetting　herself；　like　an　intoxication。　　I　often

noticed；　when　she　was　very　sad；　that　she　was　relieved；　when　a

child　fell　sick；　at　being　able　to　take　refuge　in　this

intoxication。　　It　was　involuntary　intoxication；　because　as　yet

there　was　nothing　else。　　On　every　side　we　heard　that　Mrs。

So…and…so　had　lost　children；　that　Dr。　So…and…so　had　saved　the

child　of　Mrs。　So…and…so；　and　that　in　a　certain　family　all　had

moved　from　the　house　in　which　they　were　living；　and　thereby　saved

the　little　ones。　　And　the　doctors；　with　a　serious　air；　confirmed

this；　sustaining　my　wife　in　her　opinions。　　She　was　not　prone　to

fear；　but　the　doctor　dropped　some　word；　like　corruption　of　the

blood；　scarlatina；　or　elseheaven　help　usdiphtheria；　and　off

she　went。



〃It　was　impossible　for　it　to　be　otherwise。　　Women　in　the　old　days

had　the　belief　that　'God　has　given；　God　has　taken　away；'　that　the

soul　of　the　little　angel　is　going　to　heaven；　and　that　it　is

b